Forgive me for this one!
Today in the CBO
News and Notes - Reports from around the Commonwealth
by Nat Wright-Kawolski
31 October 2298 - Lacy Considers Post-Baseball Career
Diamond City Swatters all-CBO right fielder Wayne Lacy took a diplomatic trip on behalf of the CBO to assist in the Nuka World League tryouts. Upon his return from tryout clinics at the various parks around Bradberton, Lacy came back with one park on his mind: Kiddie Kingdom.
"I could see myself working there after I retire," Lacy said. "I had more fun at the Kiddie Kingdom than anywhere else."
Asked what was most appealing about the park made for youngsters, Lacy had one response: the clowns. On a day devoted to dressing up, Lacy said he already purchased his costume for a party at the Dug Out Inn: one of the painted clown costumes of Kiddie Kingdom.
"I would love to be a clown," he mused. "I mean, I know I have killer good looks, but seeing the kids laughing at the sight of clowns gave me more joy than I can know. They have great names, too. Just at Kiddie Kingdom I met two guys who moved from Diamond City to be clowns there at the park. They didn't tell me their real names, but their clown names were Pogo and Patches. I see myself as a wise old clown with a pocket full of old-world change. I could be something like 'Pennywise.' I'll think about it, but that sounds like a clown with a real hunger for entertaining children."
Lacy has no current plans to pursue his clown-wearing future other than tonight's Swatters-centric Halloween party in Diamond City at Scarlett Miles' Dugout Inn.
"Don't get me wrong," Lacy said. "I'm only 20, so I hope to have a lot more baseball in me. I'll probably end up settling down at some point, too, so there may not be much time for honking my horn and taking perfectly preserved pies to my face. There are a few championships to win in Diamond City."
Asked what his teammates would think about his future career, Lacy said if they disapproved he would just squirt them with a lapel hubflower.