[Westheim]

As the end was nearing on an offseason that had not given the team anything nice except for the small fact that a certain starting pitcher had not signed with the Los Angeles Beach Bums, all things were slowly settling into place – like that one run of wallpaper right next to the door to Maud’s room was settling on the floor.

Maud, I don’t think you can just glue it back on. – Maud, it didn’t hold up the last three times you glued it back on. – I don’t *know it better*, or *all*, I am just a keen observer. – (ducks under a sharply thrown brush with glue on it) – We should talk about that right arm of yours, Maud!

There was the point where you had to realize that you wouldn’t find a semi-ace to go with Bernie Chavez and Nelson Moreno, nor a closer for reasonable conditions. The Raccoons reacted by making Alex Ramirez the closer, settled for Ian Wilson in the rotation, and accepted that the season would probably have them smooch the .500 mark again. Unless it got worse than that.

Maud, have you tried to nail the wallpaper back on? – It’s alright. I’ll be quiet.

There was a spot at the back end of the bullpen that was still available unless we insisted on going with one between Angelo Montano, Francisco Pena, or Ryan van Campenhout. Montano was better served going back to the Alley Cats in a starter’s role, and van Campenhout had been beyond ridiculous in 2040. That left Pena, a career scum with 4.70 ERA and almost five walks per nine innings, which was bad for a left-hander, and unacceptable for a right-hander. The Raccoons exchanged him and Sal Lozano, another fringe guy, in a February trade for a renowned foulmouthed hothead that could throw a 100 with his right flap.

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February 1 – The Raccoons acquire 27-yr old CL Damon DeOrio (11-11, 3.84 ERA, 68 SV) from the Aces for two other relievers, Sal Lozano (2-6, 4.84 ERA) and Francisco Pena (7-3, 4.70 ERA, 1 SV).
February 8 – The Titans snatch ex-LVA SP Jesus Rodarte (64-55, 3.67 ERA) on a 3-year deal worth $11M.
February 8 – The Capitals trade OF/1B Scott Martin (.290, 55 HR, 288 RBI) to the Condors, along with cash, for the remains of 37-yr old left-hander Tony Gallardo (23-47, 4.41 ERA, 1 SV) and a prospect.
February 18 – The Pacifics sign former Buffaloes hurler CL Domingo Murillo (31-39, 3.81 ERA) to a 3-yr, $7.5M contract.

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Our new problem kid reacted to news of being traded here by telling a reporter in Vegas “******* ****!! I don’t even know whether I can ******* gamble up there with a ******* ***** on my leg!! Don’t hold your ******* microphone so close to my nose, or I’ll punch you in the ******* ******, you son of a ********* ***********!!”

All will be well.

He’s the closer now, by the way. If he wasn’t he’d be *really* toxic. Don’t know why the Aces were basically trading him for a grilled sandwich. Can’t imagine, at all.

Since we traded away Lozano, who had been pencilled in for low-key bullpen duties, there was still a spot in the pen available. Meanwhile it was also getting mid-February and while there was a potential reclamation project out there in Kyle Dominy that we might just pull back in if he didn’t float, there were consistent rumors about him conversing with teams, and he was worth another compensation pick after all.

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March 28 – The Wolves ink ex-POR SP Kyle Dominy (103-105, 3.66 ERA, 3 SV) to a 3-yr, $7.2M contract. The Raccoons receive a supplemental round pick for compensation.

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And yet, somehow, it looks like Angelo Montano might make the Opening Day roster after all. The Raccoons have an offer out there to a right-handed reliever, a proven veteran™, but it’s Opening Day’s Eve and he hasn’t signed yet. Thunder, Cyclones, others are apparently also after the guy. That leaves a spot open for a long man, we opine. Maybe he’ll be whisked off before the first game – the Raccoons don’t play on Monday.

Other former Raccoons getting a change of scenery: Danny Monge signed a $860k deal with the Stars; for $740k Jimmy Wallace signed up for a second tour of duty with the Titans; Alex Majano gets $432k form the Caps;