[Westheim]

Raccoons (18-12) vs. Cyclones (14-18) – May 7-9, 2041

The Cyclones had won four games in a row after a wretched start, and were right around average in the Federal League with 4.2 runs scored and 4.3 runs allowed per game. Their run differential was -6. They arrived without outfielder Melvin Hernandez, who was out with a thumb injury. We had last met them in 2039, losing two of three.

Projected matchups:
Nelson Moreno (2-2, 3.79 ERA) vs. Rafael Pedraza (1-5, 5.57 ERA)
Josh Brown (3-0, 2.97 ERA) vs. Chris Turner (3-2, 3.95 ERA)
Drew Johnson (2-2, 2.70 ERA) vs. Leborio Valdevesso (3-2, 3.24 ERA)

And here it was, the rare species seldom seen this year, a southpaw – “Tuba” Turner would likely get the start in the middle game on Wednesday, following a common off day on Monday.

Game 1
CIN: 3B J. Burgos – C R. Rodriguez – 1B Santillano – LF Lockwood – RF Ju. Brito – 2B St. Peter – CF Mathes – SS Ruelas – P Pedraza
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – C Morales – 1B Levis – RF Balaski – 2B Lando – CF Nettles – P Moreno

Both teams got the first two batters aboard in the game and scored only the first of those for an early 1-1 score. For Portland, Berto walked, Hunter singled, and two groundouts did the rest. But Moreno lacked control, and then the singles piled on top of that. He walked Ricky Rodriguez to begin the third inning after two prior laborious frames, then gave up singles to Danny Santillano, Miners murder machine of old, and Jayden Lockwood. Juan Brito – not related to Jose Brito; the Cyclones’ one actually had skill – hit into a double play, but one run was already on the board and Cody St. Peter added another one with an RBI single before Dan Mathes grounded out. Moreno struck out the side in the fourth, which included the 8-9-1 batters, and was chased by rain after five, with the Raccoons trailing 3-2 at that point, Doug Levis having made up a run with a solo homer.

Levis hit another one in thebottom 6th off Pedraza, who was not retired after the rain delay, and instead hung around to issue a single to Manny, a double to Morales, and then the 3-run souvenir to Levis. The Portland pen reacted predictably to the sudden lead, wobbling and tumbling and making awful collapsing noises. Not included: Chuck Jones and Juan Zabala, who pitched the sixth and seventh. Brent Clark in the eighth, however, remained a disaster, giving up two hits, and conceding a run in cooperation with another ludicrous throwing error by Bill Balaski, who needed glasses, urgently. Tim Zimmerman struck out Dan Rollin in the #7 hole to end the inning with the tying run in scoring position. With the Raccoons’ offense reduced to bystanding in the last few frames by the Cincy pen, including Gualter Cymbron (…), the Raccoons left Zimmerman in there for the ninth. Once he survived a Freddy Ruelas drive almost to the fence, the last two outs were almost too calm to be true… 5-4 Raccoons. Fernandez 2-4; Morales 2-4, 2B, RBI; Levis 2-4, 2 HR, 4 RBI;

Game 2
CIN: 3B Copeland – SS Ruelas – 1B Santillano – CF Lockwood – C R. Rodriguez – RF Ju. Brito – LF Mathes – 2B St. Peter – P C. Turner
POR: SS Hunter – RF Ito – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – 1B Levis – CF Kilgallen – 2B Lando – 3B de Wit – P Brown

While Josh Brown struck out three in the first inning, there were also about as many things that went wrong, starting with a leadoff walk drawn by Sebastian Copeland. Santillano rammed a double off the fence behind Rikuto Ito, and Manny fumbled a fly by Jayden Lockwood for a run-scoring error. After the Raccoons had three runners in the bottom 1st, a double play, and no runs, the Raccoons’ Josh Brown would tie the game himself, finding Kilgallen and Aruba’s Finest, Jay de Wit, on the corners and slapping a 1-out single up the middle to get the teams even again. And then Hunter rolled into a double play…

Bottom 3rd, the bags were full with Ito, Manny, and Levis when Kilgallen rolled a ball to Copeland that looked like a 5-4-3, but the Cyclones were *just* not quick enough, Kilgallen beating out the return throw in bang-bang fashion. Ito scored, putting the team up 2-1, before Lando flew out to Brito.

Brown walked two in six innings, while Turner walked eight in five frames, and neither of them reached beyond those respective marks; it took Brown 102 pitches to get through six to begin with and he wasn’t built for more than that. Thus the 2-1 lead went to the pen, which took approximately two seconds to blow it all to hell, when Lindstrom gave up a leadoff triple to Mathes and a sac fly to St. Peter – tied ballgame! (stands in the door to Maud’s room and hits head against doorframe repeatedly) … No, Maud, it’s not fine. Nothing is fine…!

Least of all things fine was Damon DeOrio, who appeared in the ninth, gave up a leadoff single to Brito, who was run for by Jesus Burgos, who stole second, then scored on a grounder and a sac fly. That left the Raccoons trailing as they entered their half of the ninth, having to make up one run with the middle of the order against right-hander Jeff Horstmeier. Manny singled up the middle. Kilmer singled to left. Levis walked. Three on, nobody out. One to tie, two to win. Oh boy, was I anticipating the epic deflation they had to have set up here! Tony Morales batted for Kilgallen and hit a sac fly, which at least got us into 17-inning territory. Berto hit for Lando and singled, but Kilmer had to hold at third base. The bags were full again for … certainly not de Wit, who was hit for by Nettles, and Nettles ended the game with a single on the first pitch. 4-3 Coons. Fernandez 2-3, 2 BB; Kilmer 2-5; Ramos (PH) 1-1; de Wit 2-3, BB; Nettles (PH) 1-1, RBI; Brown 6.0 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 0 ER, 2 BB, 5 K and 2-3, RBI;

Well, that was a surprise. (takes properly tied noose off again)

This W got the Raccoons into a tie for first place with the Loggers (!). The damn Elks sat half a game behind.

For Thursday, the Cyclones skipped Valdevesso and instead sent fellow right-hander Ben Lipsky (2-2, 4.29 ERA).

Game 3
CIN: 3B J. Burgos – C R. Rodriguez – 1B Santillano – LF Lockwood – RF Ju. Brito – 2B St. Peter – CF Mathes – SS Ruelas – P Lipsky
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – C Morales – 1B Levis – RF Balaski – 2B Lando – CF Nettles – P Johnson

Both teams went back to their lineups from the series opener, but this time the Raccoons scored first, and put a 3-spot on the old foe Lipsky right in the first inning. Berto and Hunter reached base, but the former was thrown out on a double steal attempt. Manny then walked before runs scored on a Morales double, a groundout, and a Lando double, respectively. Nettles grounded out to St. Peter to end the inning, but that wouldn’t mean that they’d just cruise to victory.

Danny Santillano singled home a pair with two outs in the third inning. The runs were unearned, Johnson having started his stumble with his own error. The Raccoons in turn put Levis and Balaski into scoring position in the bottom of the inning and with one out, but Lando lined out to Santillano and Nettles popped out pathetically. The next two innings saw no Raccoons runners, while the Cyclones broke through in the sixth with homers by Jayden Lockwood to tie, and Cody St. Peter to take the lead, 4-3.

Johnson was already gone, replaced with Chuck Jones to get rid of Santillano with two outs and a runner on second in the top 7th, which Jones did well enough. When Carson Jarvinen walked Berto with one gone in the bottom 7th, it was Portland’s first runner since Balaski’s double in the third. Hunter singled, and Manny got hit in the bum, loading the bags for Tony Morales, who still had that OPS over 1 and… flew out to Brito. The ball was deep enough for Berto to score, leveling the game at four runs each. Levis then grounded out to Burgos. A bullpen explosion in the eighth took care of the tie, with Jones and Zimmerman piling up three hits, three walks, and three runs before Alex Ramirez got rid of Santillano with the bags stacked. Portland got from 7-4 to 7-5 in the bottom half of the inning. Nick Lando forced out Balaski, but stole second, and then scored on Reyna’s single… just before Reyna got tagged out meandering aimlessly between first and second base to end the inning… The ninth saw the Coons progress no further than a Tony Hunter walk, and instead accepting the loss. 7-5 Cyclones. Hunter 2-3, 2 BB; Balaski 1-2, 2 BB, 2B;

This pen will be the death of me, and I don’t think it’s gonna take all that much longer….

Raccoons (20-13) vs. Titans (15-18) – May 10-12, 2041

The Titans couldn’t score for their lives, sitting on 3.7 runs per game, second-worst in the CL. They were also fourth from the bottom in runs allowed, making for an ugly -35 run differential (Coons: 0 …), but they still had won two of three from us earlier this year.

Projected matchups:
Angelo Montano (0-0, 3.27 ERA) vs. Philip Wise (1-3, 8.67 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (3-2, 5.79 ERA) vs. Rich Willett (3-2, 3.10 ERA)
Nelson Moreno (2-2, 3.98 ERA) vs. Jesus Rodarte (1-5, 2.64 ERA)

Looks like the return of Southpaw Sunday in Portland, with Rodarte one of two left-handers in the Titans’ rotation, the other being Mario Gonzalez (3-2, 3.72 ERA), who pitched on Wednesday and was thus not in the mix. Rodarte was also due some good luck, so he’d probably beat Nels, 2-1.

Game 1
BOS: 2B Nieblas – 1B C. Joseph – C Guadalupe – RF M. Avila – CF Vermillion – SS Toney – LF Beard – 3B Gil – P P. Wise
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – C Morales – 1B Levis – RF Balaski – 2B Lando – CF Ito – P Montano

Portland scored two in the opening inning, getting Berto and Hunter on base again and this time even the double steal worked. Morales’ groundout and Levis’ single got a run across, each. That left only Angelo Montano to sort out. He was decent through three innings, allowing only a walk and a single, then exploded in the fourth, conceding four runs to the Titans. Chris Joseph singled, Mario Guadalupe walked, there was an RBI double smacked by the inevitable Moises Avila, and finally a 3-run homer by Kyle Beard to take all the fun away. Three more singles tacked on a run in the fifth, with Philip Wise bitterly landing the first of those three singles. Avila got the 2-out RBI. The Raccoons got soaked, and yanked Montano after the inning, but then got Ito and PH Reyna on the corners to begin the bottom 5th, bringing up Berto as the tying run after not much offense at all in the preceding three innings. Berto hit a sac fly to left, which wasn’t great, while Hunter struck out, which was certainly worse. Manny ripped an RBI double past Beard, however, but after Morales walked, Levis jammed a ball at Mike Toney to end the inning, still down 5-4.

Boston reclaimed the two runs off Zimmerman with a pinch-hit 2-run homer by Juan Rodriguez. It was the rookie’s first career homer… [More on Rodriguez below]. Zabala leaked three hits and a run in the seventh, never mind that two of the hits were of the infield variety… Both pitching and defense utterly needed shooting on this team, but Maud hid the blunderbuss yet again. Two more runs fell out of Brent Clark, one of which was unearned thanks to a Ramos throwing error, and the other was a Jimmy Wallace homer, because, you know, we weren’t suffering enough here already. DeOrio also allowed a run, angrily pitching in the ninth inning of a blowout. 11-5 Titans. Kilmer (PH) 1-1; Ito 2-3, BB; Reyna (PH) 1-1;

Second-worst offense my ***.

The Loggers and Elks were playing another on the weekend and the Loggers started with a 6-3 walkoff win powered by a Justin Nelson homer. Good for them! We’ll cheer them on once we’re ten behind, which we might yet achieve this month.

Game 2
BOS: 2B J. Rodriguez – LF Beard – 1B J. Wallace – CF Vermillion – RF M. Avila – SS Gil – C Guadalupe – 3B Nieblas – P Willett
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 1B Levis – C Kilmer – RF Ito – CF Reyna – 2B Lando – P Chavez

Jimmy Wallace doubled home the rookie Rodriguez in the first, so immediately I was in a really good spot. (takes a handful of laxatives) Portland made up the difference, getting Hunter on and getting Hunter to steal a base, and pushing Hunter far enough that Levis’ sac fly could score him. The Raccoons then put Ito and Reyna on the corners to begin the bottom 2nd. That feat involved an infield single, a catcher that started the week in AAA for another team [More on that also below] falling asleep just as Reyna did on a hit-and-run, leading to Ito getting his first stolen base in the league in uncontested fashion, then a Wallace error. The Raccoons then popped out three times until the inning was over and the first fans had seen enough. – Safe to say, none of these two teams would get anywhere near the playoffs for the rest of our lives.

Kilmer singled home Manny in the third inning, but Antonio Gil singled home Wallace in the fourth to make the point moot. Then Bernie Chavez exploded for four runs in the sixth, again. Beard singled. Vermillion singled. Avila hit an RBI double. Gil found a 2-run single, and even after a grounder and an intentional walk to Orlando Nieblas, ******* Rich Willett lunged another RBI single to left. That ended the game, with the only answer given by the Raccoons being an Ito triple in the bottom of the same inning. Lando singled him in, but that was the last hurrah from a dying team on this Saturday. 6-3 Titans. Fernandez 2-4, 2B; Ito 2-4, 3B; Nettles (PH) 1-1; Lindstrom 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K;

No-no, Maud, you don’t understand; the blunderbuss is for *me*! – Well, what *is* the right answer??

Game 3
BOS: 2B J. Rodriguez – LF Beard – 1B J. Wallace – CF Vermillion – RF M. Avila – SS Gil – C Guadalupe – 3B Nieblas – P Rodarte
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – C Kilmer – 1B Levis – RF Ito – CF Kilgallen – 2B Lando – P Moreno

The game was over as soon as it began, with Moreno whacked around for four hits, all but the infield single by Rodriguez quite loud, and three runs in the opening inning. Safe to say, the defense was no help in the undertaking, either, except where it came to the taking under of the team itself. Portland made up a pair in the bottom 1st, getting Hunter and Fernandez on before Levis and Ito whacked a pair of RBI singles, but after Kilgallen walked the bags full, Nick Lando grounded out on a 3-1 pitch to end the inning… The singling-to-death of Nelson Moreno continued anyway, with Nieblas reaching base on a ****** blooper to shallow center to begin top 2nd, and being moved around on a bunt and Rodriguez’ single. The latter was caught stealing, Beard singled, and Wallace popped out. Moreno then opened the bottom 2nd with a single, and the bags filled up with Berto and Hunter, and nobody out a.k.a. doom. Except this time doom befell the Titans due to shoddy defense. Manny grounded to short where Gil flubbed the ball and was then reduced to only one out at second base while Moreno scored, 4-3. Kilmer singled to tie the game, while a huge throwing error by Avila allowed Manny to score with the go-ahead run. Kilmer went to second, then scored on an Ito single to complete a 4-spot for a 6-4 lead. Bottom 3rd, Lando hit a leadoff double to center. He moved up on Nels’ groundout, then scored on a wild pitch. Maybe, just maybe, the Titans would gift us a W through sheer stupidity.

Or maybe Moreno would walk “Graveyard” Gill, relief pitcher by trade, on four pitches to begin the fourth, and **** up progressively more until Vermillion would whack him for a 2-out, 2-run double. That could also be true. Somehow, nobody knew how, Moreno dragged his bum *** through five absolutely horse **** innings, conceding ten hits for six runs, and still was up for the W, 7-6.

The Coons survived a Wallace double knocked off Chuck Jones in the sixth, then got Kilmer (nailed) and Levis (single) aboard in the bottom of the same inning. Seth Green struck out Ito, but Kilgallen hit a gapper for extra bases. Kilmer scored, 8-6, and Levis was sent in good hope, but thrown out to end the sixth. We got some more scratched out against Green and left-hander Eunice Suyumov in the seventh. Stephon Nettles had come on in a double switch just prior, then singled off the former, then stole second and scored when Hunter singled against the latter, 9-6. Hunter stole second, then came around on Manny’s 2-out RBI double, putting Portland into double digits before the inning fizzled out. Chuck Jones and Alex Ramirez held out for an inning and small change each, then handed the game over to DeOrio with a 4-run lead in the ninth, because anything less with that guy was a gamble. Wallace continued to be annoying and hit a single, but Vermillion spanked into a double play and the Raccoons escaped with a W… 10-6 Raccoons. Ramos 2-4, BB, 2B; Kilmer 2-2, BB, RBI; Levis 2-4, BB, RBI; Ito 2-5, 2 RBI; Nettles 1-1;

In other news

May 6 – Titans rookie SS/2B Juan Rodriguez (.143, 0 HR, 0 RBI) lands his first career base hit in his second major-league game. The single serves to break up a no-hitter, leaving Warriors SP Keith Black (5-3, 2.75 ERA) and CL Chris Henry (1-1, 2.08 ERA, 9 SV) to pitch a combined 1-hitter in a 2-0 win over the Titans.
May 7 – RIC 1B Manny Liberos (.239, 8 HR, 30 RBI) hits three home runs and drives in five in a 7-6 win over the Aces. It’s the first time a Rebels player has gone yard three times in a game since Matt Mason in 1983.
May 9 – The Knights pick up right-hander Javy Santana (2-1, 3.00 ERA, 5 SV) and a pile of cash from the Titans, with Boston receiving nothing more than AAA C Mario Guadalupe.
May 12 – The Canadiens trade reigning CL ROTY and Gold Glover OF Aaron Foss (.283, 2 HR, 16 RBI) to the Pacifics for LF/RF Justin Becker, who was in AAA for the Pacifics, and a prospect.
May 12 – SFB SP Tom Miller (0-0, 3.86 ERA) will have Tommy John surgery and miss a full year. Miller made just two starts for the big-league team this season.

FL Player of the Week: LAP INF Brian Bowman (.326, 4 HR, 26 RBI), hitting .565 (13-23) with 1 HR, 11 RBI
CL Player of the Week: ATL 1B Jamie King (.351, 5 HR, 27 RBI), batting .545 (12-22) with 1 HR, 4 RBI

Complaints and stuff

The damn Elks took the last two games of the Loggers series and thus first place in the North. I am struggling to contain my urge to barf, but the good thing is, looking at that Sunday trade, that they got brainfreeze up there and don’t know what they’re doing. The bad news is, I don’t know how their stupidity can help *our* team. (points at Angelo Montano, who hangs upside down by his underpants on the bobblehead cabinet and squeals bitterly)

We now have a negative run differential, but don’t you worry. There are signs of progress. For example, DeOrio, that angry brick head, did not allow a run in his Sunday outing! He had been booked for at least one run eight of the last nine times he was on the mound.

I know, I know, small steps.

Prospect watch, anybody? Adam Capone stopped his engagement with the AA Panthers with a 1.73 ERA and instead headed for the cutting table. He’ll have Tommy John surgery for a torn UCL and won’t be back until next April at the earliest. If at all.

Yay. Prospects.

Fun Fact: The Raccoons are the biggest frauds in the Continental League.

Leaving the Scorpions out for now, the Raccoons have by far the most positive dumb-luck ratings. We are 6-0 in extra-inning games, 11-4 in 1-run games, and +3 compared to our mathematically justifiable record, which would be 18-18, barely.

The Loggers are also not nearly scoring enough to justify being 21-15, and the damn Elks should really be 24-13, says Cristiano.

Sometimes I really don’t like Cristiano.