[Westheim]

Raccoons (61-62) @ Titans (54-69) – August 20-22, 2041

The Titans were in fifth place and continued to slide. They hadn’t finished in last place since 2019, but here were the Raccoons to the rescue, Boston having been a terrible place for them to be at for many years. Obviously, we trailed in the season series, 8-4.

Projected matchups:
Nelson Moreno (8-9, 5.07 ERA) vs. Mario Gonzalez (9-11, 4.36 ERA)
Drew Johnson (6-11, 4.04 ERA) vs. Eunice Suyumov (4-5, 5.19 ERA)
Bernie Chavez (9-9, 3.93 ERA) vs. Aaron Howell (5-10, 4.02 ERA)

Left, left, right for a change (but everybody had been off on Monday, so there was that). With Willie Vega and Mark Vermillion, the Titans also had two cornerstones of the league’s worst offense on the DL. The Critters returned Chris Lancaster to AAA to begin the series, bringing back left-hander Zack Kelly, who had been in two games with the team earlier this year.

Game 1
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Kilmer – 2B Trevino – 1B Goetz – RF Ito – P Moreno
BOS: CF Liceaga – 1B A. Zacarias – LF J. Wallace – RF M. Avila – 2B M. Hurtado – SS Gil – C Graham – 3B Nieblas – P M. Gonzalez

The Raccoons remained garbage as a whole to begin the new week, finding no offense against Mario Gonzalez, and Nelson Moreno remained a prime case for a sophomore swoon. After a decent first inning, he ran four full counts in the bottom 2nd, walked two, and also walked Gonzalez (!) to begin the bottom of the third. In between, with Rikuto Ito on first base, he bunted into a double play. The rest of the team then chimed in with doing damage quite actively after the Titans failed to convert any of these chances into a run. The bottom 4th began with a Mario Hurtado pop, but then Antonio Gil and Andy Graham reached on consecutive errors by Hunter and Fernandez. Orlando Nieblas singled to center to get Nieblas home, with Maldonado firing to third base to hammer out Graham. Gonzalez struck out to end the inning, but Boston was now up 1-0. The Raccoons had only one base hit in five innings. Tony Hunter hit a single in the sixth, then was caught stealing. Bottom of the inning, the Titans opened with three straight singles off Moreno, loading the bases before Graham and Nieblas both popped out. The Raccoons went to Chuck Jones when Chris Joseph pinch-hit for the dominant Gonzalez, which netted them a pair of 2-run knocks and a 5-0 deficit thanks to Jones getting whacked around by Joseph and Danny Liceaga. All the Raccoons got from having the bags full and nobody out in the eighth was a Tony Hunter sac fly. 5-1 Titans. Maldonado 2-3, BB; Trawick (PH) 1-1; Balaski (PH) 1-1;

Game 2
POR: SS Hunter – 2B Trevino – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Kilmer – RF Ito – 3B Trawick – 1B Reyna – P Johnson
BOS: CF Liceaga – 1B A. Zacarias – LF J. Wallace – RF M. Avila – 2B M. Hurtado – SS Gil – C Kuehn – 3B Nieblas – P Suyumov

Singles by Alex Zacarias and Jimmy Wallace, a double by Mario Hurtado, and a 1-0 deficit after the first inning, which all but sealed another series lost in Boston. While Johnson kept shuffling runners on base and somehow didn’t get bombed into oblivion in the early innings, the Raccoons actually tied the score in the fourth, an inning opened with singles from Manny and Maldo, and then – for a change – at least two productive outs from whatever ******* happened to play behind them. Maldonado was of course left to rot at third base… The Raccoons survived Johnson drilling leadoff man Nieblas in the fourth inning as well as a 2-base throwing error by Trawick in the fifth, with Johnson retiring from the game after five long, long innings with a no-decision that was neither earned nor deserved.

In that result he matched Suyumov, but the latter actually went into the eighth and was only yanked after Reyna and Hunter reached the corners. Manny Fernandez popped out against Justin Johns to end the inning and maintain the 1-1 deadlock. The Titans also left Hurtado at third base against Craig and Clark in the bottom of the inning. Clark walked Zacarias with two outs in the ninth, but then struck out Jimmy Wallace to send the game to extra innings. In the 10th, Reyna got on and was caught stealing, while Alex Ramirez offered a leadoff walk to Moises Avila, who stole second, but was still stranded at third base on a grounder, a K, and a pop. Mike Toney was caught stealing in the 11th, keeping the Titans off the board there, after the Raccoons had gotten singles from Art Goetz and Manny Fernandez in the top of the inning, and then had left both of them in scoring position with a pop and a K from Maldo and Kilmer, respectively.

The tie was FINALLY broken in the 12th inning. Andy Bressner, washed-up former starter, walked Trawick with one out, then gave up a gapper to Reyna that became an RBI triple. Berto, batting ninth for a while at that point, chipped in a sac fly. Wyatt Hamill then erased the Titans 1-2-3 for a win. 3-1 Coons. Goetz (PH) 1-1; Fernandez 2-5; Reyna 4-5, 3B, RBI; Zimmerman 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K;

Game 3
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 1B Reyna – 2B Trevino – RF Balaski – P Chavez
BOS: CF Liceaga – 1B A. Zacarias – LF J. Wallace – RF M. Avila – 2B M. Hurtado – C Kuehn – SS J. Rodriguez – 3B Nieblas – P Howell

Berto opened the game by reaching base and being caught stealing, so that was a nice start. In a scoreless game the Raccoons loaded the bases in the third inning with Balaski, Bernie (reaching on a misfielded bunt), and Hunter and one out. Manny Fernandez then rolled into a 6-4-3 on the first pitch he saw. Neat. Cosmo reached on a leadoff single in the fifth, actually did steal a base, and then was left stranded with a grounder and two strikeouts. Portland baseball looked like the annual meeting of the National Association of Non-Aggressionists. At least while they were batting.

Bernie held up for a while despite sprinkling a bevvy of singles. The Titans liked to strand a guy at third base, and in one occasion also had him (Hurtado) thrown out at third base by Bill Balaski. Bernie diddled along with a runner every inning for seven frames of scoreless ball in a scoreless game that was sad, took place on a sad day, in a sad park, and was overall just sadly sad. Bernie was lifted for a pinch-hitter against Bressner to begin the eighth inning. Goetz whacked a single in his spot. Then Berto whacked into a double play. Hunter struck out. Bottom 8th, Jon Craig put Wallace (double) and Avila (single) on the corners with one out. Avila took off and was thrown out by Morales, followed by a walk to Hurtado and Paul Kuehn grounding out near second base to keep the Titans just as dry as the Critters. Nobody reached in the ninth, sending the game to extras scorelessly. There, Chuck Jones took the loss when he walked Zacarias in the bottom 10th, then gave up a walkoff double to Moises Avila with two outs. 1-0 Titans. Goetz (PH) 1-1; Chavez 7.0 IP, 6 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 4 K;

(hangs head, whiskers pointing straight down)

Raccoons (62-64) vs. Falcons (68-58) – August 23-25, 2041

If you can’t beat a terrible team, how about playing a good team? Although the Falcons were only tenth in runs scored in the CL, they were allowing the fewest runs of all participating teams, so the Raccoons’ quadriplegic offense would probably be shut out thrice and that was gonna be it. Not saying they can’t make another extra-inning affair out of that, though… We were trailing in the season series (quelle surprise), 4-2.

Projected matchups:
Josh Brown (11-6, 3.90 ERA) vs. Ernie Quintero (10-11, 3.27 ERA)
Zack Kelly (1-0, 2.25 ERA) vs. Nick Wright (5-1, 3.20 ERA)
Nelson Moreno (8-10, 5.06 ERA) vs. Jose de Lucio (10-14, 3.88 ERA)

Three right-handers were likely here, although due to a rainout and double-header earlier in the week the Falcons might also swing Marcos Nabo (9-10, 3.32 ERA) into the Sunday start. All of them were right-handers, though.

We’d waste a spot start on the swingman rookie, who had not been very successful as a starter in the minors. Montano was an option in AAA, but … well, we’ve seen Angelo Montano fail a lot. We haven’t seen Zack Kelly fail that much yet.

Game 1
CHA: 1B Sarro – 3B Lorensen – SS Aparicio – C M. Cook – LF Esperanza – 2B B. Nelson – RF Quesada – CF J. Reyna – P E. Quintero
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 1B Goetz – 2B Trevino – RF M. Reyna – P Brown

While the Raccoons continued their general futility at the plate (two hits in four innings), the Falcons took a 1-0 lead on Brown in the second inning when Jonathan Reyna singled home Ruben Esperanza with the third of three base knocks in the inning. Overall Brown scattered six hits through five innings, then waited for help to arrive. He bunted Miguel Reyna to second base after the latter’s leadoff single in the bottom 5th, then was taken off the hook for the time being when Berto hit a gapper in right-center for an RBI double, the Raccoons’ first run in 15 innings. Hunter struck out, but Manny landed a 1-2 single in shallow left to get Berto around to score for a 2-1 lead. Maldonado grounded out. Tony Morales then hit a leadoff double in the sixth and never moved off second base, because… (sigh) … (closes snout around neck of bottle of Capt’n Coma)

Brown lasted seven innings of 1-run ball and left the game a potential winner when Balaski batted for him and flew out to Antonio Quesada in deep center. Alex Ramirez retired the Falcons in order in the eighth, with Quintero holding on to the baseball and completing eight innings in a so-far losing effort. The Raccoons sent Wyatt Hamill into the ninth inning, with PH Chris Kokoszka opening proceedings in the #6 spot. He singled, then was run for by Angelo Rios right away. Not much of a hitter, Rios was fast though, but reached second base anyway on Quesada’s single. Reyna flew out to Maldo, but Hamill fell 3-1 to PH Chris Russell. The next pitch was put in play to third base. Trawick, to Trevino, to Goetz – ballgame…! 2-1 Blighters. Reyna 2-3, 2B; Brown 7.0 IP, 7 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 6 K, W (12-6);

No, Maud, I can’t feel happy. – Because they played like clowns with sad makeup. – No, there is nothing you can do to make me lighten u- hh!!! You baked muffins!! Oh Maud, you’re the best!! (throws himself onto muffins)

Game 2
CHA: RF C. Robinson – 3B Lorensen – SS Aparicio – C M. Cook – 2B B. Nelson – 1B Sarro – LF Quesada – CF J. Reyna – P N. Wright
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Kilmer – 1B Goetz – RF M. Reyna – 2B Nickas – P Kelly

Both teams sent spot starters for the middle game, with Charlotte’s Nick Wright having been a major league reliever for eight seasons without making a start before making 15 last season and six this year. He had 606 career appearances. The Falcons loaded the bases against Kelly in the second inning with one out, but then brought up their pitcher, who struck out, and Chris Robinson flew out to left. Instead, Jeff Kilmer hit a home run to left for a 1-0 Coons lead in the bottom 2nd. It didn’t last – Ryan Lorensen hit a leadoff jack almost into the same spot in the third inning.

That, however, was ALL the Falcons got off Kelly in six innings of 4-hit ball. Now, never mind that the Coons probably couldn’t score another run in his support even when fiercely invited, like in the bottom 6th when Wright walked Berto and Kilmer and whacked Manny in between. That loaded the bags for Art Goetz with two outs. Art Goetz struck out. Zimmerman held out in the seventh, Alex Ramirez struck out the 3-4-5 in the eighth, but the Raccoons remained entirely anemic. Wyatt Hamill pitched the ninth anyway, gave up a 2-out single to Jonathan Reyna, then a homer to PH Ruben Esperanza. The Coons in the bottom 9th had the tying run at the plate right away when Ray Andrews hit Maldonado with an 0-2 pitch. Kilmer grounded out, Maldo reached third base on a wild pitch, and Goetz hit a sac fly, which was not exactly gainful in terms of not ******* losing again. Miguel Reyna grounded out to Luis Aparicio, however, and the Raccoons had ******* lost again. 3-2 Falcons. Kilmer 2-3, BB, HR, RBI; Kelly 6.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 3 BB, 3 K;

(deep sigh!)

Game 3
IND: RF C. Robinson – CF J. Reyna – SS Aparicio – C Kokoszka – 3B Lorensen – LF Esperanza – 1B Sarro – 2B B. Nelson – P Nabo
POR: 3B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – C Morales – 1B Goetz – 2B Trevino – RF Balaski – P Moreno

The Raccoons got a triple from Tony Hunter in the first inning, but no run(s), given that Berto didn’t reach and Manny popped out and Maldo flew out to Esperanza. Goetz and Balaski hit singles in the bottom 2nd, which ended with Nelson Moreno flying out to right. While Moreno faced the minimum the first time through, Tony Hunter ripped ANOTHER triple in the third inning. The first one went left, the other one went right, and this time the Coons actually got him ******* across home plate … with a Manny Fernandez sac fly to left. It all came apart in the fourth, with leadoff singles by Robinson and Reyna, who were in scoring position with two outs when Ryan Lorensen singled to center. Both runners scored and Maldonado’s arm came off on a futile throw home, requiring him being replaced by Miguel Reyna. Esperanza added a run on an RBI single, extending the score to 3-1, before Dan Sarro grounded out. The Coons got 2-out singles from Cosmo and Balaski in the bottom 4th, but that inning also died with Moreno making the final out.

The Coons began the fifth inning with their third ******* triple of the game when Berto buried one in the gap in right-center. Tony Hunter smacked an RBI single to narrow the gap to 3-2, and Reyna added a 1-out single and Hunter stole his 30th base. Uselessly, it turned out, because Morales struck out and Art Goetz walked, which all would have put Hunter at third base with two outs anyway. Cosmo batted with nowhere to put them, ran a full count, then slashed a ball through the right side and a bit up the line. With two outs, the Coons moved on noise and scored two runs, flipping the score to 4-3, which was already more runs in this game than in any other game they played this miserable ****house week. Oh, and Balaski whiffed comically to strand runners on the corners.

The outfield catastrophy on legs and our dismembered sophomore of big dreams and little returns then also cocked up the sixth inning like true All Stars. Tony Aparicio hit a leadoff single, moved to second base on the first out, and aimed for third base when Lorensen flew out to Balaski, who was irked by something moving on the bases and simply unleashed the most angry wild throw he had in his arsenal, well past Ramos, not even knocking the runner unconscious by accident, and Aparicio scampered home on the error to tie the score at four.

The Raccoons had Reyna on first base when Goetz tried to end the inning with a high bouncer to Ryan Lorensen that could certainly be turned into a 5-4-3 to conclude the bottom 7th. Lorensen threw the ball past T.J. Bennett at second base for an error, and the Raccoons had two on with one out. Cosmo seized the opportunity and sapped an RBI single to right, 5-4, and Balaski hit another RBI single up the middle. Kilmer and Ramos then made outs. Brent Clark held the Falcons away in the eighth, but for the ninth the Raccoons had to go to pointless deadline transaction #2 (and the only one still employed), Jon Craig, because both Hamill and Ramirez had been through the wringer in the first two games of the set. One down, Lorensen walked (and was run for with Chris Russell), Esperanza singled, and the tying runs reached scoring position after Bennett’s groundout. Mitch Cook was up – but hold on. The Falcons had expended all their bench already? And they had a reliever in the #9 hole? There you go, Mitch, to first base. Poor, sad-looking Bryan Carmichael had to step into the box, his first time batting as a professional. One strike. Two strikes. He’s gonna hit a slam, Slappy, isn’t he? Nope, three strikes. 6-4 Coons. Hunter 3-5, 2 3B, RBI; Reyna 3-3; Trevino 3-4, 3 RBI; Balaski 3-4, RBI;

In other news

August 20 – Condors closer Steve Bailey (4-3, 1.97 ERA, 27 SV) notches his 300th career save in shutting down the Knights for a 4-2 Tijuana win. The 34-year-old right-hander was the Reliever of the Year in 2037 and 2038 and has a 3.16 career ERA to go with his 57-60 record.
August 20 – NAS SP Chris Lulay (7-7, 4.59 ERA) 3-hits the Capitals in a 3-0 Blue Sox win. Lulay, who entered 89 K in 122 innings this year, notably struck out nobody in the complete-game effort.
August 20 – MIL C Felipe Gomez (.272, 15 HR, 56 RBI) will miss three weeks with elbow inflammation after an incident that occurred while he horsed around with teammates.
August 20 – Crusaders outfielder Jose Platero (.262, 10 HR, 55 RBI) drives in six runs on three base hits (including a grand slam) in a 15-4 whacking of the Indians.
August 21 – NYC C Fernando Alba (.318, 11 HR, 55 RBI) is out for the year with a broken kneecap.
August 21 – Unrelated, New York’s OF/3B Joe Graf (.306, 5 HR, 29 RBI) goes hitless in a 7-5 win over the Indians to end his hitting streak at 20 games.
August 21 – Torn ankle ligaments put SFW 2B/SS Mario Colon (.279, 18 HR, 67 RBI) on the DL for the rest of the season.
August 22 – New York 3B/1B Adam Lovett (.350, 3 HR, 11 RBI) hits a come-from-behind walkoff grand slam to beat the Indians, 8-6. Indians left-hander Joe Robinson (3-5, 3.72 ERA, 11 SV) gives up the game-ender.
August 24 – The injury-addled season of VAN 2B Dan Schneller (.344, 12 HR, 50 RBI) continues. The 33-year-old will now miss three weeks with a strained oblique.
August 24 – The only run in the Canadiens-Bayhawks game is a walkoff homer by San Fran’s Mike Hall (.322, 3 HR, 66 RBI) off VAN CL Josh Boles (4-7, 3.10 ERA, 24 SV), giving the Bayhawks a 1-0 win.
August 25 – In the biggest double whammy in a while, the Canadiens lose VAN OF Jerry Outram (.353, 19 HR, 70 RBI) for the season. The 27-year-old two-time Player of the Year was last seen being stretchered off the field, screaming in agony with a ruptured achilles tendon.
August 25 – SFB SP Jeremy Truett (9-9, 3.81 ERA) 3-hits the Canadiens in an 8-0 shutout.

FL Player of the Week: SAC OF/2B Alfonso Cedillo (.294, 17 HR, 71 RBI), batting .500 (12-24) with 5 RBI
CL Player of the Week: ATL INF/RF Joe Crim (.280, 8 HR, 55 RBI), swatting .533 (16-30) with 2 HR, 11 RBI

Complaints and stuff

In just over 1,200 innings in the outfield, Bill Balaski has 18 ******* errors now. I’d list him as expendable for the coming winter after that particularly rough Sunday ride…

Not sure when Dan Schneller will return of course, but so far the damn Elks’ $7.8M investment in those two has given them a combined 185 appearances this year for roughly a .350 clip, 31 homers, and 120 RBI. Right now they’re getting none of it, and that might end up being the main reason that either the Loggers or Crusaders win the division. The Elks have hardly had any other major injuries, but those two have been DL mainstays all year.

Have we *actually* played against Dan Schneller this year, Cristiano? – Once? – Cristiano says we saw him in the first 4-game set, where he went 4-for-14 with a homer, and not since.

I mean, Hall of Famers, both of them – unless Outram has his hoof amputated. But I am never mad at those for squishing us (except for Ray ******* Gilbert). I wasn’t mad at the Martin Brothers. Or the Jose Paraz / Ron Alston / David Lopez era Indians. If you get beat by great players, you get beat by great players.

It’s when we get beat by Ted Del Vecchio and Adam Lovett and Jeremy Houghtaling that I start thinking about tying a millstone around my neck and plunging into the Willamette with it. Probably while taking a few of our ridiculous pitchers with me.

Fun Fact: For the 12th time in 14 years, the Raccoons-Falcons series ends up 5-4 for either team.

It was them this year, and it’s been them most years. We had only four of the dozen 5-4 outcomes. We also had the two outliers, 2034 and 2037, when we took seven wins both times.