[Westheim]

Whatever you do, boys, please don’t play 70 innings over six games again? Thanks.

Raccoons (8-10) @ Thunder (10-9) – April 29-May 1, 2042

There was one more chance to stop April from turning entirely sour, but that would entail winning a pair from the Thunder to get to .500 for the month. Also, Oklahoma had won three in a row, while the Raccoons had not even finished there games in a row without running up on Portland city council curfew ordinances. The Thunder were seventh in runs scored and second in runs allowed. The Raccoons were first in most pointless innings shouldered by a so-so bullpen. And, oh, we got creamed by the Thunder last year, winning only two of nine games with them.

Projected matchups:
Corey Mathers (0-3, 6.38 ERA) vs. Eunice Suyumov (1-2, 1.93 ERA)
Rich Willett (2-2, 2.28 ERA) vs. Juan Ramos (1-3, 5.46 ERA)
Josh Brown (1-1, 2.16 ERA) vs. Alan Fleming (1-1, 2.17 ERA)

Left, right, right. The Critters at least had Manny Fernandez back at 100%.

Game 1
POR: CF Romero – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – 1B Wilson – C Kilmer – RF Cortes – 2B Lando – P Mathers
OCT: CF C. Vega – RF Heskett – C Adames – SS O’Keefe – LF E. Moore – 3B J. Allen – 1B Stedham – 2B Kuhn – P Suyumov

After getting two outs, Corey Mathers allowed six straight 2-out base hits, punching his ticket to the Alley Cats firmly and with great noise. Ethan Moore drove in one run, Jim “Mastodon” Allen cashed a pair, Jesse Stedham also got an RBI - always great to see failed Raccoons get back on the horse against the Raccoons – and Mathers walked Suyumov to load the bases for good measure before Carlos Vega grounded out to Nick Lando.

Mathers was left in the game through four innings, giving up a 3-run homer to Allen at some point, but it didn’t really matter since the Raccoons were not exactly rallying. Maldonado, Wilson, and Kilmer loaded the bases with singles in the fourth inning, but all the Raccoons got out of it was a sac fly by colossal disappointment Carlos Cortes, so when Mathers was yanked for a pinch-hitter to begin the top 5th, the Raccoons trailed by six. Cortes would come up in the sixth with Maldonado and Kilmer on second and first, respectively, and chunked a ball into an inning-ending 4-6-3 double play, earning himself a day off on Wednesday. The Raccoons completed the game with some relieving from Sims, Kelly, and Rella. Travis Sims, the useless sod, gave up a 2-run homer to Ethan Moore for the final tally. 9-1 Thunder. Maldonado 2-4; de Wit (PH) 1-1, 2B;

Two roster moves were made after this Tuesday disaster. Corey Mathers (0-4, 8.06 ERA) was very obviously axed this time. Now, Jason Wheatley had a 3.05 ERA in AAA, but was still considered wildly underdone. The Raccoons thus proceeded to gab Angelo Montano off the refuse file. At least Montano was reliably good for a 5-ish ERA… Also demoted was Nick Lando (.182, 0 HR, 1 RBI) to make room for Cosmo Trevino returning from his rehab assignment.

Game 2
POR: 1B A. Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – RF Reyna – CF Romero – 2B Trevino – C Wilson – P Willett
OCT: CF C. Vega – RF Heskett – C Adames – SS O’Keefe – LF E. Moore – 3B J. Allen – 1B Stedham – 2B Kuhn – P J. Ramos

Jeff Wilson threw away a Jesus Adames grounder in the first inning, which in itself was not neckbreaking, but Chris O’Keefe’s subsequent moonshot off Rich Willett gave the Thunder a 2-0 lead and me the feeling that it was all for naught and I should go home. The Raccoons then started the top 2nd with three straight singles, Romero driving in Maldonado to fake a rally attempt. Cosmo then walked, which was the most stupid thing to do, since it loaded the bags with nobody out and everybody knew that there was no happiness to be gained from that situation… The Thunder conceded the lead on Wilson’s grounder to Allen, who started a 5-4-3 double play, then got Willett to pop out to end the inning.

The Coons did get a paw up in the third inning. Manny singled to right with two outs, and Brian Heskett bobbled the ball into an extra base. A wild pitch moved Manny to third, and Maldonado plated him with a single to take the 3-2 lead. The lead was neither earned nor deserved, so it was probably for the better that Willett got rid of it when he gave up a bomb to Allen in the bottom of the fifth, tying the game at three. …which made me wonder, why only the other teams hit home runs in these games. In fact, Willett had given up only two hits through six innings, and those had counted for three runs (one earned). The Raccoons began the seventh by putting Romero and Trevino on base, had six hits, five walks off Juan Ramos, and looked no closer to a solution about how to avoid the next 16-inning game. When Wilson flew out to shallow left, the Raccoons called the double steal, which was executed well enough. Willett then hit a poor roller near the third base line that “Mastodon” Allen tried to wait out going foul, which it never did, while Romero scored to break the tie. Berto flipped an RBI single to right, 5-3, but Hunter whiffed and Manny flew out to left to end the inning. O’Keefe opened the bottom 7th with a single to right, but would be doubled up by Allen before long. Maldo walked, stole second, and scored on a Romero sac fly in the eighth inning to tack on a run, which turned out to be necessary, for when Willett yielded to his former and current teammate Wyatt Hamill, the Titans double agent had nothing better to do than giving up a single to Heskett and a homer to Adames to axe the lead to a skinny run. O’Keefe singled. Allen singled with two outs. Anybody make a play? Anyone?? Wilson made, zinging PH Adrian Wade’s roller to first in time to end the game before it could get REALLY ugly. 6-5 Coons. Fernandez 2-5; Maldonado 2-3, BB, RBI; Romero 1-2, BB, 2 RBI; Trevino 1-2, 2 BB; Willett 8.0 IP, 3 H, 3 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 9 K, W (3-2) and 1-3, RBI;

Game 3
POR: 1B A. Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – CF Reyna – C Kilmer – 2B Trevino – RF Cortes – P Brown
OCT: CF C. Vega – 2B Kuhn – C Adames – SS O’Keefe – 3B J. Allen – LF E. Moore – RF Stedham – 1B Kilgallen – P Fleming

The Raccoons finally hit a home run, too, Tony Hunter to right in the third inning. It was their first hit of the game, too, after Cosmo had walked, Brown had reached on a 2-base error by Allen, and Berto had brought in the game’s first run with a grounder to second. Hunter’s 2-out, 2-piece made him the eighth Raccoon to go yard this season – and we were still looking for somebody to hit something as novel as a SECOND homer this year. The Hunter homer also remained the Coons’ only hit through five innings, while Josh Brown maintained the 3-0 lead, sprinkling three singles to the Thunder in the same amount of innings.

The Raccoons were still on one base hit in the seventh inning, but Brown walked Ethan Moore to begin the bottom 7th, then gave up RBI hits to Matt Kilgallen, a double to center, and Carlos Vega, a soft 2-out single. Jon Craig replaced him to get the final out of the inning, then bunted into a force out at second base that got Cosmo (leadoff single!!) erased in the eighth. He also put O’Keefe on base in the bottom 8th. With two outs Brent Clark came on to wave in the tying run, surrendering a triple to Ethan Moore that caromed around long enough in centerfield to get a pizza and eat it, too. Wade grounded out to strand the go-ahead run on third base. Lefty Roland Warner then struck out Hunter to begin the top 9th, struck out Manny to continue the top 9th, and hung a breaking ball to Maldo that was hit some 390 feet to give Portland another lead, 4-3 on three hits. Romero struck out in Reyna’s place to end the inning, while Wyatt Hamill returned with a vengeance and a pair of leadoff singles surrendered to Kilgallen and Adrian Ringel. Vega popped out, Al Martell flew out to center, advancing the tying run to third base. Jesus Adames was hitting .383 with five homers and I had no doubt that he would end the charade one way or another. Probably another! The 0-1 pitch – blasted to left – ballgame. 6-4 Thunder. Trevino 1-2, BB;

Raccoons (9-12) @ Canadiens (15-7) – May 2-4, 2042

The good thing about the team travelling to the frozen wastes of the North again was that I didn’t have to see their sorry faces in person for three days, and it would give me time to hatch my murder plans for several people on the roster that were hard to get rid of otherwise. Oh yes, the damn Elks were lodging in first place now, four wins in a row, best in runs scored, fifth in runs allowed. They had already swept the rancid Critters once this year, and I had no doubt they’d do it again.

Projected matchups:
Nelson Moreno (1-1, 5.40 ERA) vs. Matt Sealock (3-0, 2.15 ERA)
Jake Jackson (0-1, 5.19 ERA) vs. David Arias (1-2, 4.44 ERA)
Angelo Montano (0-0) vs. Paul Medvec (2-1, 3.46 ERA)

All right-handers, and probably three massacres.

Game 1
POR: CF Romero – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – RF Reyna – 2B Trevino – C Wilson – 1B Cortes – P Moreno
VAN: 3B G. Ortiz – C Clemente – CF Outram – 2B Schneller – RF V. Vazquez – 1B J. Lopez – LF J. Simmons – SS R. Johnston – P Sealock

Both teams left runners on the corners in the first; Hunter and Fernandez were stranded when Maldonado lined out to Ryan Johnston and Reyna flew out to Justin Simmons, injury replacement for the already-injured long-term commitment of Melvin Hernandez. Greg Ortiz singled, Timóteo Clemente walked, and Jerry Outram hit into a double play for the damn Elks before Dan Schneller was hit by a pitch. Victor Vazquez grounded out to Cosmo to make it all go away. The same happened I the second inning to all the faint hopes that the stupid brown-clad time might somehow tumble into a lucky win on the weekend. Moreno was taken apart with five hits and a walk against him, and the damn Elks scored a crisp five runs. Ballgame.

By the completion of five innings, both teams had scored one additional run for a 6-1 tally. Moreno had been socked for 11 base hits and two walks, and one more run in the fourth that wouldn’t matter The Raccoons had scored a run in the third inning, with Romero drawing a leadoff walk and scoring after singles by Manny and Maldo. Yeah, we totally showed them by denying them a shutdown inning after the massacre…! Honeypaws, would you be so kind to hand me the rope over there?

One more run fell out of Sims in the bottom 6th, loading the bases with nobody out by walking Ortiz and Clemente ahead of an Outram single to center. Schneller plated a run by means of a double play, which was very kind of him. Top 7th, Cortes, Gutierrez, and Romero hit singles in order to load the bases with one out against Sealock. Thankfully I wasn’t stupid enough to believe in a big knock to get back into the game here. All we got was a Hunter sac fly. Manny walked to fill the bases again, but Maldonado grounded out to Johnston. The Elks took revenge in the eighth, exploding Zack Kelly for four runs. Greg Ortiz, unretired in the game, drew a leadoff walk and scored on Schneller’s 2-out single. Vazquez walked, and Johnny Lopez ripped a 3-run homer. Romero reached base with a leadoff single in the ninth. Hunter hit into a double play. 11-2 Canadiens. Romero 2-4, BB; Fernandez 2-4, BB; Ramos (PH) 1-1; Cortes 2-4;

The good news? Only three pitchers were used in this blowout – yay!

Game 2
POR: CF Romero – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – RF Reyna – 2B Trevino – 1B Ramos – C Kilmer – P Jackson
VAN: LF Mann – C Clemente – CF Outram – 2B Schneller – RF V. Vazquez – 1B J. Lopez – 3B R. Ashley – SS R. Johnston – P D. Arias

The first major hit of the middle game on Saturday was when Ryan Johnston got beaned out of the game by Jackson, which I did not necessarily approve of as it might make Jerry Outram only angrier. Elijah Peele replaced Johnston at short, but the game remained scoreless despite Jackson’s befuddled 2-out walk to the opposing pitcher that followed. Jackson continued to scatter two runners in every inning, allowing Clemente and Outram aboard on leadoff singles in the third inning before somehow getting three poor outs that plated nobody. The Coons had Hunter on twice his first two times up. He was doubled up by Fernandez in the top of the first, while Arias moved him to second base with a wild pitch before that could happen again in the fourth inning. Manny then walked, putting two on with nobody out. Maldonado flew out, while an infield single by Reyna loaded the bags for Cosmo, 2-for-8 since his return, but with a .455 OBP, and I wouldn’t have minded a walk as I sat on the couch at home smearing as many peanut butter toasts as I could only to see Honeypaws gobble up most of them. Cosmo poked at the first pitch and hit a dinker into no man’s land for an RBI single, the first marker on the board. Berto also poked at the first pitch and hit a solid RBI single to right, 2-0, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that they could at times be a tad more patient. Kilmer, lost in translation, hung around long enough to strike out, and Jackson popped out to short to strand a full set.

Top 5th, Romero led off with a single. He stole his way to third base while behind him the bags filled with Manny (nailed) and Maldo (walk), bringing up Reyna with one out. Come on, a fat hit! He struck out, but Cosmo had the common decency to stick his old man bum into a wayward 1-2 pitch and to get plunked for an extra run, 3-0. Berto grinded out a walk for another run, and Kilmer grounded out to short. In the sixth, Arias walked Romero for his own exit, stage right, while Juan Dias surrendered the run on Tony Hunter’s RBI triple. Of course, Hunter was then stranded when both Manny and Maldo made poor outs… Schneller, Vazquez, and Peele all singled off Jackson to load the bags with stinking Elks in the bottom 6th, but PH Steve Jorgensen found Cosmo with a grounder to strand all of the menagerie.

The Coons tacked on with Berto again in the seventh. Reyna opened with a leadoff walk off righty Matt Fries in the top 7th, moved up on a grounder by Cosmo, and scored when Berto singled to right and Vazquez overran the ball. Even Kilmer then found a hole for a single to left…! The Coons stuck with Jackson to hit though to scratch a few more outs with him (on 94 pitches) in a 6-0 game, which sounded defensible at that point, but led to them not scoring Berto from third base. He got two more groundouts before Chuck Jones got rid of Outram without much fuss for the bottom 7th. After that, four outs from Josh Rella and two more from Brent Clark completed a combined 8-hit shutout of the revolting Elks. 6-0 Furballs! Hunter 3-4, BB, 3B, RBI; Trevino 2-4, 2 RBI; Ramos 2-4, BB, 3 RBI; Kilmer 2-5; Jackson 6.2 IP, 7 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 5 K, W (1-1) and 1-4;

For Sunday’s rubber game, the Raccoons would not see Medvec, but rather Mike Mihalik (5-0, 2.86 ERA), the CL’s Pitcher of the Month of April. Against Angelo Montano.

Oh well, sometimes it’s an honor just to be nominated.

Game 3
POR: CF Romero – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – 2B Trevino – 1B Ramos – C Kilmer – RF Cortes – P Montano
VAN: LF Mann – C Clemente – CF Outram – 2B Schneller – RF V. Vazquez – 1B J. Lopez – 3B G. Ortiz – SS Peele – P Mihalik

Hunter hit a double in the first inning that went underappreciated by the following hitters, and instead the damn Elks took a *shocking* 1-0 lead on Montano in the second inning, Peele singling home Vazquez with two outs. Two more runs got on the board in the fourth, with a Johnny Lopez homer and then Ortiz tripling into the corner and scoring on another Peele single. Beaning Johnston had not been the greatest move by Jake Jackson, as it turned out… Even an intentional walk would not have helped – Mike Mihalik singled, too, before Jeremy Mann finally flew out to end the inning. The Raccoons very much did nothing, even on the rare lucky breaks, like when Montano reached base on an uncaught third strike to begin the sixth inning. Romero and Hunter made useless outs. Manny singled. Maldonado flew out casually. The seventh began with Cosmo grounding out on a 3-0 pitch. Apparently a new hip reduced baseball smarts. Berto singled. Kilmer smacked into a 6-4-3.

But the damn Elks also let Montano off a potentially much sharper hook. They battered him for ten hits in six and a third, but couldn’t get more than their three runs, so when Mihalik leaked de Wit and Romero on base with one out in the eighth, the tying run was at the plate. Hunter hit a 1-0 pitch to the right side and Schneller cut it off with a lunging grab, but had no play – bases loaded for Manny Fernandez, who hit the 0-1 pathetically near the rightfield line, except that Mihalik and Clemente got into each other’s antlers fielding it and again nobody had a shot at a Critter – all paws were safe and the Coons were on the board in a 3-1 game, admittedly in the weirdest way possible. Boy, Honeypaws, I can’t wait for the double play liner to resolve this mess. No such luck, but Maldonado was held to a sac fly to Vazquez. Cosmo grounded out on a 3-2 pitch to keep the score the same, 3-2. Brent Clark struck out two and got a harmless fly from Peele in the bottom 8th, giving the Raccoons one last chance against ex-Critter Josh Boles and his 1.74 ERA in the ninth inning. Berto grounded out, but Kilmer walked. Cortes grounded out, sending the tying run to second base. De Wit was still in the game from pinch-hitting earlier, batting ninth, and with two outs in the inning – he struck out. 3-2 Canadiens. Hunter 2-4, 2B; Fernandez 2-4, RBI; de Wit (PH) 1-2;

In other news

April 30 – SAC 2B/SS Oscar Aguirre (.213, 1 HR, 6 RBI) will miss about six weeks with a fractured rib.
May 2 – SFB 1B Danny Cruz (.200, 1 HR, 6 RBI) was out with a broken thumb and was expected to miss a month.
May 2 – NAS LF/RF/1B Sean Ashley (.296, 3 HR, 15 RBI) would also miss a month with a broken thumb.
May 2 – The Scorpions expect LF/RF Mike Preble (.238, 4 HR, 12 RBI) to be out for the season with a torn medial collateral ligament.
May 4 – The Buffaloes barely outlast the Capitals, 13-12, with TOP 1B Chris Delagrange (.222, 4 HR, 11 RBI) going deep twice and driving in six runs.

FL Player of the Week: RIC LF/RF Pablo Gonzalez (.351, 4 HR, 12 RBI), hitting .471 (8-17) with 2 HR, 4 RBI
CL Player of the Week: VAN 2B Dan Schneller (.323, 4 HR, 19 RBI), batting .524 (11-21) with 2 HR, 7 RBI

FL Hitter of the Month: LAP OF Juan Benavides (.382, 5 HR, 18 RBI)
CL Hitter of the Month: VAN OF Jerry Outram (.424, 3 HR, 21 RBI)
FL Pitcher of the Month: TOP SP Josh Bourgeois (4-0, 1.77 ERA)
CL Pitcher of the Month: VAN SP Mike Mihalik (5-0, 2.86 ERA)
FL Rookie of the Month: SFW C/1B David Pinedo (.253, 0 HR, 10 RBI)
CL Rookie of the Month: LVA C Kevin Prow (.348, 2 HR, 14 RBI)

Complaints and stuff

Wyatt Hamill saved all of two games in the month of April. And it was not really his fault, either. The Adames homer on Wednesday were the first earned runs on his ledger in ’42.

Of course, the Adames homer on Thursday was by far the more bitter one.

So. Quo vadis, procyones? There are a lot of things that aren’t working out here. Getting Cosmo back did not inject winningness into the team, either. We axed another #5 starter by the end of April. The bullpen is sturdy unless it counts. The lineup… I don’t even know where to begin. And the Salvation Army won’t collect pelts until the fall, either.

Fun Fact: Yoshi Yamada remains the Raccoons’ worst hitter by OPS of all time for the time being.

…meaning nobody has more at-bats (636) and a lower OPS (.483) than the 2005 Continental League stolen base champion, who was a .198 hitter for his career just like Nick Lando, who dropped his OPS to .503 with one last futile appearance on Tuesday before being replaced with Cosmo Trevino. Except for Yamada, nobody has more at-bats (263) and a lower OPS (excluding pitchers) than Lando.