[Westheim]

You have a surprise for me, Maud? What is it? Is it at least two paws high and does it have five layers, alternatingly fluffy chocolate cake and sweet vanilla cream?

Oh. Hi. Nick.

Raccoons (13-18) vs. Gold Sox (14-17) – May 13-15, 2042

The foundering Raccoons hosted the Gold Sox for a 3-game set starting on Tuesday, and also their disgruntled owner. The Sox were the bleakest team in the league, not necessarily at this precise date, but in the grander scheme of things. They had not posted a winning record since ’33 and hadn’t been within single digits of first place at year’s end since even before that, and this looked like year 39 of their endless postseason drought. They were sixth in runs scored, second from the bottom in runs allowed, with a -19 run differential, a middling rotation and a terrible bullpen. These teams had met last year, with Portland winning two of three. We had not dropped a series against them since 2029, although that also included an 8-year string of never playing them at all.

Projected matchups:
Nelson Moreno (1-3, 6.44 ERA) vs. Adrien Calabresi (1-2, 3.42 ERA)
Jake Jackson (1-2, 4.50 ERA) vs. Steve Fidler (1-3, 6.42 ERA)
Rich Willett (4-3, 2.72 ERA) vs. Mike Wilt (4-0, 3.41 ERA)

Left, right, left – and Fidler was not the only ex-Coon in the rotation: they also had Ignacio del Rio (2-5, 4.74 ERA).

Yes, Nick, Nelson Moreno is the guy I always stubbornly refused to trade to push the team over the hump, and who is now stinking up everything around here. You are such a good observer.

Game 1
DEN: 3B Malfati – 1B J. Robinson – SS R. Thompson – CF S. Castillo – 2B Sperling – RF C. Walker – LF B. Murphy – C Wilton – P Calabresi
POR: CF Romero – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – RF Reyna – 2B Trevino – C Kilmer – 1B Cortes – P Moreno

Moreno, who was on five days’ rest for this Tuesday game because the Coons’ brainpool decided that there was hope for him but not for Montano, who was thus to be skipped to the end of the line instead, struck out to leave the bases loaded with Trevino, Kilmer, and Cortes in the bottom of the second inning, though that was not the main reason why everybody was grumpy because of him. His ERA was over six and as May progressed, there had to either be an improvement with that or a roster move, and the BABIP was high (over .320 anyway entering the game), but not HIGH. And while the Gold Sox were a rotten and hopeless team, at least there was some visible progress on the field down there. He allowed two singles through three innings before the Raccoons spotted him a 2-0 lead in the bottom 3rd. Romero walked and Hunter doubled to began the inning, and then they scored on consecutive groundouts to the right side from Manny and Maldo. It sure enough wasn’t permanent. Bob Murphy singled in the fifth, then scored on Matt Wilton’s screaming RBI double into the rightfield corner. Lopo Malfati dropped a 2-out single to tie the game. Nick Valdes looked miffed. But so did I.

Moreno led off the bottom 5th with a single we could have used earlier, then remained parked on first base until there were two outs. Manny singled, Maldo was nailed, bringing up Miguel Reyna with two outs and everybody stacked. He grounded out to Jason Robinson. Nick Valdes looked miffed. But so did I.

All in all, Moreno was still somehow holding his **** together through five innings, but that notion stopped abruptly in the sixth. He nailed Sandy Castillo with one out and would not retire another batter. Evan Sperling homered to left, Chris Walker homered to right. A single, a walk, and a yank. Jon Craig came out and nicked PH Tyler Prestwood to fill the bags before Malfati grounded into a double play to keep it 5-2 Gold Sox. Nick Valdes looked miffed. My eyes were closed and wet all around.

Craig gave up a run in the seventh inning, putting the first two Sox on base, while the Raccoons got a wayward homer from Tony Romero, his first in the brown shirt that brought nothing but losing and shame, and sometimes a broken leg or two. But despite all the misery and more wonky relief from Cory Lambert and Brent Clark, the Raccoons stayed within three and got the tying run to the plate in the bottom of the ninth inning against right-hander Carlos Semchez. Cortes opened the inning with a single before PH Jeff Wilson hit a deep fly – out. Romero singled, promoting Hunter to the plate as the tying run. He also flew out to Castillo. Manny flew out to Bob Murphy. 6-3 Gold Sox. Romero 2-4, BB, HR, RBI; Hunter 2-5, 2B; Cortes 2-4;

I don’t know, Nick, what are we supposed to do? Drown the kid in a barrel? – Yeah, well, I am not discussing that. – Maud, please order a barrel.

Game 2
DEN: RF Mercado – C Wilton – 3B R. Thompson – CF S. Castillo – 2B Sperling – LF Cox – 1B C. Walker – SS R. Mendoza – P Fidler
POR: CF Romero – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – RF Reyna – 2B Trevino – C Kilmer – 1B Ramos – P Jackson

Wednesday’s game started just like the last one, except that Nick Valdes was grumpier and pointing out repeatedly that he had room for trophies over his mantlepiece, whatever the heck that meant, but the Raccoons had a starter deliver two clean innings to begin the game, then stumble to the plate with three on and two outs in the bottom 2nd. Unlike Moreno though, Jake Jackson dropped a single to center that scored two runs for Portland, the first markers on the board, before Romero flew out to Castillo in center. The bummer also came earlier, with Jackson walking Nelson Mercado with two outs in the third inning, then getting bombed by Wilton to tie the game. – I know, Nick, I know. They are not supposed to hit the balls over there.

Thankfully, Tony Hunter hit a jack over the fence in right to begin the bottom 3rd, which gave Portland a new 3-2 lead, and a walk and a single put the 3-4 batters on base, too. Reyna grounded to second, with Sperling misfielding the ball to load them up with nobody out, which was always that trap the Raccoons liked to tumble into, having three on and nobody out and then scoring negative eleven runs from that spot onwards. Cosmo, though, chipped an RBI single on the first pitch he got from Fidler in that situation, and the fallen ex-Coon then walked in a run against Kilmer. Fidler had been the guy with the great half-season in 2038, and then the ****** half-season in 2039. He had never really recovered from that 5.01 ERA that year. Berto slapped home two more runs with a single near the rightfield line, 7-2, but starting with Jackson’s bunt, Fidler retired the next three batters in a row without giving up another run. Nick Valdes nodded eagerly and applauded with passion – that was the sort of baseball he loved to see more of! Well, didn’t we all?

The Raccoons then even found somebody to hit as much as a THIRD homer on the season when Manny Fernandez took Fernando Nora deep in the bottom 5th. That one came with Berto and Jackson aboard and thus counted for three runs, getting the Raccoons into double digits for the first time since… oh heck, I don’t know. Kilmer and Berto then each drove in their 12th run of the season against Jacob Breiter in the sixth. The right-hander had put Reyna and Cosmo on base to begin the inning, and had also thrown a wild pitch. A groundout from Kilmer and a Berto double took care of a full dozen runs. The Raccoons removed Romero, Hunter, and Fernandez from a 10-run game after that inning. Jackson never allowed a base hit other than the Wilton homer, but walked a couple more and also had to contend with a runner gifted through an error by Steve Nickas just after the backup infielder entered the game, but completed eight strong innings, whiffing seven Sox. A Carlos Cortes error in conjunction with Travis Sims’ miserable pitchery caused an unearned run in the ninth, but panic never broke out amongst the Coons faithful. 12-3 Raccoons. Fernandez 2-4, HR, 3 RBI; Reyna 2-5; Trevino 3-5, RBI; Ramos 3-4, BB, 2B, 3 RBI; Jackson 8.0 IP, 1 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 3 BB, 7 K, W (2-2) and 1-2, 2 RBI;

Nick Valdes enthusiastically shook paws with everybody in the room after the game (even Cristiano!), before announcing that this was all he had time for and there were ancient ruins in Mesopotamia that needed blasting for a new strip mall, and he would get to push the button himself, fortunately. – I-I mean, Nick… aaawww, so sad you gotta go! – No-no, you have to, who else would push the button? Go! But – Yes, but – Yes, we also love you. NOW GO.

Game 3
DEN: RF N. Mercado – 1B J. Robinson – 3B R. Thompson – CF S. Castillo – 2B Sperling – LF Cox – C Wilton – SS Malfati – P Wilt
POR: CF Romero – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – 2B Trevino – C Kilmer – 1B Wilson – RF Cortes – P Willett

Willett saw the end of the second inning, which was already an upgrade over his last start. In fact, he retired the Sox in order the first time through, whiffing four, including everybody in the third inning. The Raccoons sprinkled four singles the first time through their order, plating absolutely nobody. The Raccoons did take the lead in the third, though, with Wilt nicking Romero to start the inning and Hunter dropping a single. Manny plated a run with a groundout, and Maldo ripped an RBI double over Mercado, then scored on Cosmo’s single to center, 3-0. That was not the end, though; while Jeff Kilmer grounded out, Jeff Wilson hit a bomb to centerfield, extending the lead to 5-0. Denver didn’t reach the bases until Ronnie Thompson tripled with two outs in the fourth, but he was stranded when Sandy Castillo flew out to Cortes on a looper. Instead, the Raccoons piled another 4-spot onto Wilt and Estevan Bernal in the fifth inning. Wilson singled home a 2-out run with Manny and Cosmo aboard. Cortes then ripped a 3-run homer to make it 9-0, and we scored another pair on Bernal in the sixth when Cosmo drew a bases-loaded walk and Kilmer hit a sac fly. Willett meanwhile kept ticking away Sox, spilling four hits eventually but arriving in the ninth on 86 pitches and with a shutout. There, Jason Robinson struck out. Ronnie Thompson grounded out to Nickas at short. Sandy Castillo grounded out to Omar Gutierrez at second. 11-0 Critters! Hunter 2-4; Fernandez 2-3, RBI; Maldonado 4-5, 2B, RBI; Wilson 2-4, HR, 3 RBI; Cortes 3-4, HR, 2B, 3 RBI; Willett 9.0 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 8 K, W (5-3);

Back-to-back double-digit runs for Portland? And they even won both games?

I must be dreaming.

Raccoons (15-19) @ Indians (17-17) – May 16-18, 2042

Maybe the Indians would wake us up. We’d be over to Indy for a quick 3-game set, facing them as they had sunk back to .500 while holding ninth place in runs scored and sixth in runs allowed, also a 2-1 edge in the season series over Portland (although with the offensive outburst mid-week, we were up to seventh in runs scored!). They had a few injuries, notably Luke Moses, Eric Peck, and Mike Sawyer, things being dire enough for ho-hum righty Orlando Altreche being forced into the rotation.

Projected matchups:
Josh Brown (3-1, 2.38 ERA) vs. Orlando Altreche (1-1, 2.65 ERA)
Angelo Montano (0-2, 4.38 ERA) vs. Alex Flores (2-1, 2.70 ERA)
Nelson Moreno (1-4, 6.75 ERA) vs. Drew Johnson (2-4, 2.08 ERA)

Three right-handers!

Game 1
POR: CF Romero – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 3B Maldonado – RF Reyna – 1B Ramos – 2B Gutierrez – C Wilson – P Brown
IND: LF D. Gonzales – 3B Hutson – C Mordino – RF Sanderfer – 2B E. Vargas – 1B Dodson – CF D. Rivera – SS Huber – P Altreche

Brown allowed plenty of hard contact the first time through the Arrowheads’ order, including an RBI triple in the second inning to Danny Rivera, but Romero made up that deficit with another home run of his in the top of the third. Portland took the lead an inning later – Maldonado opened with a single to right, stole second, reached third when Adam Huber mishandled Sal Mordino’s throw, and then came home on Reyna’s sac fly for a 2-1 lead. Romero was back at it in the fifth, reaching base with a 2-out hit and stealing second base – his 14th bag of the season – before coming around on a Hunter double, 3-1. The lead seemed in danger in the bottom 5th, though. Brown had retired a bunch in a row before walking not only Huber, but also Altreche (!) with one out in the inning. David Gonzales thankfully spanked a ball into a 6-4-3 double play. In this inning, though, and the next, the Indians really whittled down Brown … or rather, whittled up (?) his pitch count. He reached 92 pitches through six after initially seeing contact be made quickly in the first two innings.

He came back out for the bottom 7th, walked Pat Dodson and threw a wild pitch to Rivera, the only lefty hitter in the lineup, before Rivera finally popped out in a full count. That was it for Brown, replaced with Rella, who walked Huber. Altreche bunted the tying runs into scoring position, and Chuck Jones came in when Mario Ochoa pinch-hit for Gonzales, getting a high fly to left on a 2-2 pitch that ended the inning. Portland got Berto and Gutierrez on base with a walk and single, respectively, to begin the eighth. The Indians stuck to Altreche, who got two outs before Romero was walked intentionally with first base open. Hunter snipped an RBI single, though, tacking on a valuable insurance run, 4-1. Manny Fernandez tacked on some more, sending a fly to deep right. And it was – outta here! GRAAAAAAAAAND SLAAAAAAAAAAAMMMM!!!!

Dan Hutson hit a homer off Travis Sims to begin the bottom 8th, but that was also the last Indians run in the game. Sims threw 36 pitches in two laborious innings that once more proved he had no place in the majors, but at least put the game away. 8-2 Raccoons. Romero 3-4, BB, HR, RBI; Hunter 3-5, 2B, 2 RBI; Fernandez 3-5, HR, 2B, 4 RBI; Maldonado 2-5; Reyna 2-4, RBI; Ramos 3-4, BB; Brown 6.1 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 4 BB, 6 K, W (4-1);

In just three days the Raccoons had scrubbed down their run differential from -28 to just -2.

And here comes Angelo Montano.

Game 2
POR: 1B Ramos – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – CF Maldonado – RF Reyna – 3B de Wit – 2B Trevino – C Kilmer – P Montano
IND: LF D. Gonzales – 3B Hutson – C Mordino – RF Sanderfer – 2B E. Vargas – 1B Dodson – CF D. Rivera – SS Huber – P A. Flores

…and they kept scoring! Portland batted through the order in the first, scoring four runs, three of them on a Maldondo blast to left with Hunter and Manny aboard. Reyna was then driven in with two outs by Kilmer, although that last run was unearned; Jay de Wit had reached on a Huber error. But any lead had to survive contact with Montano, who issued a walk and two singles to the Indians the first time through, and was lucky enough that Dan Hutson erased the leadoff walk to David Gonzales with a double play bouncer. Rivera hit a 1-out double in the second before Huber and Flores both hit liners for outs to Tony Hunter, who then hit a homer in the fourth inning, matching a solo shot by Sal Mordino from half an inning earlier and extending the lead to 5-1. Manny and Maldo reached base after that, pulled off a double steal, and Reyna plated a run with a grounder before de Wit flew out to right. By the fifth, it was 7-1, thanks to Montano hitting a 2-out double to left and being driven in by Berto, so far 0-for-3 in the game.

At some point it had to come crashing down though, and that was in the sixth. Manny reached base again, then was tripled in by Maldonado, 8-1. Maldonado pulled up lame, though, and had to leave the ballgame, replaced by Tony Romero, who scored on a de Wit sac fly, 9-1, but now I was all worries and no joy again. The Indians also shook Montano around for three hits and as many runs in the bottom 6th. Thanks to a grim Tony Hunter error, all the runs were unearned, although Montano certainly had three paws in it. The lead was still a pawful, though, so the Raccoons had enough wiggling room to drag Montano through the seventh inning despite a 1-out hit by Hutson. Craig and Clark put runners on the corners in the eighth, but didn’t concede a run, and Lambert retired the Indians in order in the ninth. 9-4 Critters. Hunter 2-4, BB, HR, RBI; Fernandez 2-4, BB; Maldonado 3-4, HR, 3B, 4 RBI;

Dr. Padilla only mumbled something Spanish about Maldonado’s aches, which made me none the wiser, except that he wouldn’t be in the lineup on Sunday. Oh, the Coons – they just couldn’t handle a guy with an .800 OPS.

Game 3
POR: 1B Ramos – CF Romero – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – RF Cortes – 3B de Wit – 2B Trevino – C Wilson – P Moreno
IND: 1B J. Diaz – RF M. Ochoa – 3B Hutson – LF D. Rivera – C Mordino – 2B Sanderfer – CF D. Gonzales – SS E. Vargas – P D. Johnson

Moreno pitched around an error by Berto in the first inning and a Sanderfer double in the second, but not around the leadoff triple Jeff Diaz hit in the bottom 3rd. The main reason was that the Indians squared him up and hit a pair of bombs through Mario Ochoa and Sal Mordino to take a 3-0 lead in the game. The Raccoons had been somewhat silent early on, but Manny Fernandez whacked a solo homer in the fourth to raise hope that maybe it was not all over yet with the 4-game winning streak and all, but nobody else then reached base for Portland until the fifth inning, when Moreno doubled to center and Berto dropped a single in front of Ochoa to put the tying runs on the corners. Romero ran a full count before lining up the middle, narrowly past a lunging Enrique Vargas’ glove, and into center for an RBI single, 3-2. Ex-Coon Drew Johnson leaked a walk to Tony Hunter, filling the bases for Manny Fernandez, who also ran a full count before hitting a drive to deep center. It failed to reach the fence, but David Gonzales also failed to reach the drive, which fell for a 2-run double, flipping the score to 4-3 Portland. Interestingly enough, Carlos Cortes, batting all of .190, was walked with intent to get de Wit up with his .291 stick. He hit a sac fly before Cosmo flew out to right to end the inning.

Up 5-3, Moreno retired Indy in order in the fifth and sixth innings before the Raccoons filled the bags again facing Bill Drury in the seventh, albeit with nobody out, so you knew it was all gonna be for nothing. Cortes was the batter in the fattest spot possible, dished a 2-0 pitch through the left side for two runs, and extended the lead to 7-3 before de Wit popped out and Cosmo found a double play. Vargas then ripped a double off Moreno to begin the bottom 7th. The Raccoons patiently saw him K Huber in the #9 hole and get a grounder from Diaz, then replaced him on 100 pitches with a lefty hitter next. Brent Clark entered in a double switch with Gutierrez (Cosmo was out) and struck out Ochoa to end the inning. Rella and Hamill, who had been unemployed all week long, would be used to finish out the game and sweep the series. 7-3 Critters! Ramos 4-5; Romero 2-5, RBI; Fernandez 4-5, HR, 2 2B, 3 RBI;

In other news

May 13 – The Crusaders end the hitting streak of SAC OF/2B Alfonso Cedillo (.349, 3 HR, 10 RBI) at 21 games, holding him hitless in four attempts, but conceded the game to the Scorpions, anyway, 5-2.
May 13 – LVA SP Ricardo Sanchez (2-4, 6.10 ERA) 3-hits the Pacifics as the marooned Aces scratch out a 2-0 win.
May 13 – CIN LF/RF Jayden Lockwood (.309, 2 HR; 17 RBI) hits a single for the only Cyclones base knock in a 2-0 loss to the Titans’ Mario Gonzalez (2-2, 2.40 ERA) and a pair of relievers.
May 13 – The Rebels fall to the Condors, 4-1, and amount to nothing more than a single by INF/LF/RF Tony Alvarado (.188, 1 HR, 6 RBI) against Josh Long (3-3, 3.13 ERA) and Phil Harrington (2-1, 2.84 ERA, 8 SV).
May 14 – VAN SP Mike Mihalik (8-0, 2.11 ERA) 3-hits the Warriors. The Canadiens win the game, 7-0.
May 16 – OCT OF Adrian Wade (.206, 0 HR, 2 RBI) hits a single to spoil a no-hit bid by Charlotte’s SP Marcos Nabo (2-1, 4.35 ERA).
May 17 – The Bayhawks are out-hit by the Condors, 8-3, but squeeze out a 2-1 win with the help of a home run by Sonny Deming (.206, 3 HR, 13 RBI).
May 18 – The Titans report CL Gabe McGill (2-3, 2.45 ERA, 6 SV) out for the year on account of bone chips in his elbow needing removal.

FL Player of the Week: NAS OF/1B Rich de Luna (.367, 1 HR, 16 RBI), batting .552 (16-26) with 1 HR, 7 RBI
CL Player of the Week: POR OF Manny Fernandez (.375, 5 HR, 22 RBI), swatting .538 (14-26) with 3 HR, 12 RBI

Complaints and stuff

After 3-hitting the Titans in April, Rich Willett had his second shutout of the year on Thursday, blanking the Gold Sox on four hits to take the rubber game. First time for Willett that he’s spun more than one shutout in a year.

Nelson Moreno was barfworthy on Tuesday, but had a really good outing on Sunday, besmeared by that one bad inning. Granted, that one bad inning was plenty bad – two homers and three runs total – but he struck out eight and walked nobody in otherwise solid baseball. That ERA is still over six though. You know, bah.

Losing Maldonado would be bitter. Just when the offense seemed to find third, fourth, and fifth gear! Even after a rabid 5-game stretch in which they scored seven or more runs in every game and 9.4 per game, the Raccoons are still only at 4.3 runs per game overall. Somehow, though, that run total puts them fourth in the CL currently. We don’t know quite why yet, but the CL is currently on course for a 55-year low in league ERA with a 3.63 mark when it is usually quite reliably around 3.90, give or take 12 points, the maximum deviation in the last 25 years.

The FL is also seeing a 30-year low for league ERA (3.88), but it’s not that far away from the usual margins. For comparison, last year’s league ERA’s where 4.02 (FL) and 3.95 (CL). The 3-year average is 4.06 / 3.90;

Oh what do I know? Maybe it’s the Raccoons playing all those extra innings throwing numbers askew……

We hope to build on the active 5-game winning streak next week in a homestand against the Crusaders and Bayhawks. The month will finish with a trip to the Aces and Falcons after that.

Fun Fact: Alberto Ramos is reaching for 2,500 base hits, currently sitting 70 hits shy of the mark.

He is also 13-for-23 in recent gams and has gotten his average up to .314 again, although his trademark good eyes seem to have gone away. Just last year he had 50% more walks than strikeouts. This year he has 50% as many walks as strikeouts…

Old age. Such joy.