[Westheim]

Originally Posted by UltimateAverageGuy

I’d love if sometime you could show us all time leaders in the major categories

Hits, homer’s, RBIs, wins, Ks, you know, the good stuff!

I knew I had forgotten something... will come later / tomorrow.

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Raccoons (37-38) vs. Bayhawks (37-37) – June 30-July 2, 2042

The Baybirds were eight games out and in third place in the South, but how they had maintained .500 was a bit of a mystery (although the ’41 Coons were a good example for that). They were in the bottom four in both runs scored and runs allowed, with a -50 run differential. There was an opening here … but we were also 1-2 against them so far this year.

Projected matchups:
Corey Mathers (2-5, 5.51 ERA) vs. Miguel Alvarado (5-6, 4.69 ERA)
Nelson Moreno (5-6, 5.18 ERA) vs. Rafael Pedraza (3-4, 4.74 ERA)
Jake Jackson (5-5, 3.66 ERA) vs. Rick Haugh (6-4, 3.92 ERA)

We’d get one of their two southpaws in the opener, then two right-handers. They had a number of pitchers on the DL, foremost starter Jose Moreno and closer Jon Salls, but Josh Wilkes (4-3, 2.75 ERA, 20 SV) was doing fine replacement duty for the latter one.

Game 1
SFB: SS J. Gonzalez – LF Haertling – RF Oshiita – 1B D. Cruz – CF M. Hall – 2B S. Pena – C Pasko – 3B Deming – P M. Alvarado
POR: 3B Trevino – CF Romero – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 1B Cortes – RF Reyna – 2B Carreno – C Kilmer – P Mathers

Jeff Kilmer at least hit something against a lefty, knocking a 2-out RBI single in the bottom 2nd to score Manny Fernandez for the first run of the game. Mathers struck out to strand a pair, but at least had yet to get blown into individual limbs and pieces by the Baybirds, but he sure enough surrendered the 1-0 lead as quickly as feasible, walking leadoff batter Sonny Deming in the third and conceding the run after the bunt on Jorge Gonzalez’ single. That remained the score through five in an unlikely pitching duel; 1-1, with the Bayhawks outhitting the Raccoons, 3-2. Mathers’ day ended soon after in the sixth and after only 76 pitches. He walked Ed Haertling and Danny Cruz, and they reached scoring position with two outs and lefty Sergio Pena up. The Raccoons, struggling against Alvarado, wished not to concede any runs here and brought in Chuck Jones. They then conceded runs on an infield single … and a wild pitch….

The Raccoons would get the tying runs on base again, doing so in the seventh with Cortes and Carreno singles. Kilmer had struck out the last time, but Alvarado hung around, giving up a single that filled the bases when it dropped in front of a rushing Mike Hall. Berto pinch-hit for Jones, ran a full count, but then popped out. Cosmo grounded out to Deming to keep them all stranded. The game then swiftly got out of paws in the eighth. Jon Craig allowed three singles, Mark Pasko driving in a 2-out run, then walked Deming. When right-hander Dave Martinez pinch-hit for the pitcher, the Raccoons switched to Josh Rella, who got Martinez to 0-2, then conceded a monstrous grand slam to put the game in the books. 8-1 Bayhawks. Carreno 1-2, BB; Kilmer 2-3, RBI;

No, thanks, Maud. No Cake. Just the rat poison.

Game 2
SFB: SS J. Gonzalez – LF Haertling – RF Oshiita – 1B D. Cruz – CF M. Hall – 2B S. Pena – C J. Hill – 3B Deming – P Pedraza
POR: 1B Ramos – 3B Trevino – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – RF Cortes – CF Nettles – 2B Gutierrez – C Wilson – P Moreno

Here was to hoping that Nelson Moreno would stop alternating good and bad outings NOW and only have good outings from here on out. He faced the minimum the first time through, which was a nice start. Two Bayhawks reached – Danny Cruz on a leadoff walk and Sonny Deming on an error by Berto, but both were doubled up. The Raccoons scattered four hits in the first three innings, scoring a run on a Hunter sac fly in the bottom 3rd after Berto and Cosmo reached the corners with singles. Jorge Gonzalez took off the no-hitter with a single to right to begin the fourth inning, but was stranded on second base, while the Critters put Cortes and Wilson on base with singles in the bottom 4th, but then came Moreno with two outs and grounded out harmlessly. Hall (leadoff single) and Deming (intentional walk) were stranded when Gutierrez made a nice lunging grab on a Pedraza bouncer in the fifth, which also saw Berto draw a leadoff walk and get stranded in the bottom half.

Through six, the Raccoons remained up 1-0 while I was increasingly queasy because Moreno kept putting the leadoff man on base. Danny Cruz hit a single to start the top 7th. Mike Hall lined out, Berto with a sprawling catch on the line… then remained on the ground with some sort of injury. He was lifted for Miguel Reyna, while Cortes moved in from right to first. Pena grounded out, John Hill flew out easily to Manny to end the inning. Nelson Moreno went on to get Jeff Wilson (leadoff single) forced out on a bad bunt in the bottom of the inning, which also ended up going nowhere. Moreno remained unscored upon through eight, throwing 97 pitches, but there was not enough trust to let him go nine against the lefty part of the order with only a 1-run lead. Not that Wyatt Hamill generally enjoyed much trust around here, either… Manny then hit a solo jack to right against Pedraza in the bottom 8th. So what do we do at 2-0 …!? And what about 3-0? Carlos Cortes went back-to-back with Manny, smashing a blast to center for another home run! When the ninth inning dawned, Nelson Moreno was on the mound. He imploded immediately. Ed Haertling doubled to right-center, Dick Oshiita singled him in, and the tying run was at the plate. And here was Hamill, a little late, and non the wiser. Cruz singled right away, but then Mike Hall and Chris Russell flew out to center. Two outs and John Hill batting, the tying runs were on the corners… until Hamill balked in a run on 0-1. Hill ran the count full and walked. Here was Dave Martinez then, pinch-hitting for Deming, with me sucking on my thumb for comfort. Hamill had him 1-2, then gave up the game-tying single anyway. Next, he was yanked to hell. Rella came out to face Graciano Salto in the #9 hole, struck him out, inning over, but that didn’t dry the tears off my fuzzy face, either.

Brent Clark did a scoreless 10th on the Bayhawks after the bottom of the ninth yielded only more sadness. Cosmo then opened the bottom 10th with a single. Tony Hunter popped out, but Cosmo stole his seventh bag off Josh Wilkes with one out. It turned out to be the winning move – when Manny Fernandez dropped a single into right center, Cosmo scored with an aggressively cut corner at third base. 4-3 Coons. Trevino 3-5; Fernandez 2-4, HR, 2 RBI; Cortes 2-4, HR, RBI; Wilson 2-4; Moreno 8.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 2 K;

(pats Nelson Moreno’s shoulder while the young pitcher stuffs himself with ice cream, crying) I know. I know.

Game 3
SFB: SS J. Gonzalez – LF Haertling – RF Oshiita – 1B D. Cruz – CF M. Hall – 2B S. Pena – C J. Hill – 3B Deming – P Haugh
POR: 3B Trevino – CF Romero – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 1B Cortes – RF Nettles – 2B Carreno – C Kilmer – P Jackson

A Gonzalez throwing error got the Raccoons on the horse early in the rubber game; Romero reached second base on the bad throw in the bottom 1st. Hunter singled to put them on the corners, and Manny’s groundout plated Romero before Cortes hit a double to left to get Hunter in. Nettles flew out then, keeping it 2-0, both runs unearned. The Raccoons were not going to add earned runs to that any time soon, getting only one more hit in the next three innings. Jake Jackson came up with one out in the bottom 5th – and casually hit a jack to left to get to 3-0! …!!! Maud! Did you see that!? Jackson homered to left!!

And that was nowhere near his best body of work through five in that game. Despite an on-and-off drizzle annoying everybody at the ballpark, the main course of delight was that the Bayhawks at this point had yet to put a guy on base. They did so in the sixth – Rick Haugh taking his grim revenge by hitting the absolute worst blooper we had seen this year, but it dropped between Hunter, Romero, and Fernandez anyway for a single. At least Danny Cruz did us a favor and hit another single in the seventh, also with two outs and leading nowhere, so that the pitcher’s duck snort would not stand alone in the end… The rain was getting worse though; the bottom 7th began with Kilmer whiffing. Jackson then hit a double to center that would have been a single, except the wet ball eluded the grasp of Mike Hall initially. The umpires got the cue and sent the game to a rain delay from which it never emerged, leaving Jackson with a rain-shortened shutout. 3-0 Furballs! Jackson 7.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 7 K, W (6-5) and 2-3, HR, 2B, RBI;

What a win for Jackson!

Raccoons (39-39) @ Titans (29-47) – June 30-July 2, 2042

This 4-game set in Boston had – like all 4-game sets in Boston – tremendous potential for sadness. They were last in the North, not that their last place reduced the number of landmines the Raccoons would have to tread lightly around here. They were eighth in runs scored, bottoms in runs allowed, and had a -54 run differential … but then again we had just helped the Baybirds out with theirs. We were up 4-3 in the season series.

Projected matchups:
Rich Willett (8-7, 3.35 ERA) vs. Philip Wise (3-8, 6.28 ERA)
Josh Brown (7-3, 2.92 ERA) vs. Jamal Barrow (4-5, 4.29 ERA)
Corey Mathers (2-6, 5.43 ERA) vs. Mario Gonzalez (5-5, 4.38 ERA)
Nelson Moreno (5-6, 4.93 ERA) vs. Michael Donovan (3-7, 4.23 ERA)

Southpaw Sunday! …and Southpaw Saturday, too!

The Titans also had a myriad of injuries, including long-time regulars Moises Avila and Antonio Gil in addition to some pitchers. The Coons were still without Maldonado, also without Berto, who was still being processed, but it was hard to scan that spherical body for broken or torn stuff, Dr. Padilla said.

Game 1
POR: 3B Trevino – CF Romero – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 1B Cortes – RF Nettles – 2B Carreno – C Kilmer – P Willett
BOS: RF Liceaga – 1B A. Zacarias – LF W. Vega – CF Vermillion – 3B Freeman – C Kuehn – 2B Amos – SS J. Rodriguez – P P. Wise

The Coons’ 3-4-5 hitters all hit singles for one run in the first, and could have had more if Romero, who drew a walk, hadn’t been caught stealing before Hunter singled. Willett returned to his old hunting grounds, put Alex Zacarias and Willie Vega on in the first inning, but they were stranded on a K and a pop. Romero did steal second base successfully his next time up in the third, then advanced on a grounder and scored on a sac fly to left by Manny, 2-0. From there, Wise shuffled the bags full with Cortes (double in right-center), Nettles (single to center), and Carreno (walk), then ran a full count to Jeff Kilmer before bouncing the 3-2 to force in a run. Willett struck out, but allowed only one hit in four innings, and threw away a pickoff attempt against Mark Vermillion in the fourth inning, but then got a groundout from Ben “Nine Fingers” Freeman to end the inning with Vermillion left on second base. Juan Rodriguez was left on second base when Danny Liceaga struck out in the fifth.

Manny Fernandez reached 50 RBI for the year with a 2-out RBI double, cashing Romero, in the seventh inning, extending the lead. Cortes singled him home with a drop into left-center, further extending the Coons’ lead to 5-0 while the Coons out-hit Boston 12-2. The Titans didn’t get any other hits off Willett in this game… but Rich Willett had also not been economical enough. He needed 111 pitches through eight innings, and the Raccoons would not force it here. Cory Lambert got the ball for the ninth inning, the score still being 5-0. He struck out Zacarias and Vega. Vermillion was retired by Manny Fernandez in sliding fashion near the line in leftfield. 5-0 Raccoons! Romero 3-4, BB; Fernandez 2-4, 2B, 2 RBI; Cortes 3-4, 2B, 2 RBI; Kilmer 1-2, 2 BB, 2B, RBI; Willett 8.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 4 K, W (9-7);

Turned out Alberto Ramos had knocked his head badly when his fat leg fell on it mid-tumble. He would miss two months with a concussion…

Off to the DL he went. The Raccoons called up 3B/SS Eric Cox, a 26-year-old righty hitter that had been taken in the ninth round in 2036. He was hitting .295 with 2 HR and 32 RBI in AAA. He would probably not last long, given that Jesus Maldonado was about to return to the team.

We were also giving out some more off days with 10 games left until the All Star break. Hunter and Cortes were not in the lineup on Friday.

Game 2
POR: 3B Trevino – RF Nettles – CF Romero – LF Fernandez – 1B Reyna – 2B Carreno – SS Gutierrez – C Wilson – P Brown
BOS: RF Tortora – 1B A. Zacarias – C Kuehn – LF J. Nelson – CF Vermillion – 3B Freeman – 2B Arnett – SS Amos – P Barrow

Cosmo doubled to open the game and scored on two productive outs. Brown started out being behind in the count by everybody, but the Titans stranded guy on the corners in the bottom 1st when Vermillion lined out to Gutierrez. Omar Gutierrez was nicked the next half-inning after a Carreno double, all with one out, but the battery was no help and the inning ended, and Cosmo and Manny were stranded on the corners in the third inning when Reyna grounded out. Cosmo was back on base in the fifth, drawing a 1-out walk, and that time was doubled in by Romero, 2-0. Manny then flew out; it was four hits for Portland against two for the Titans, who after getting close to Brown’s pelt in the first had receded to not being a major threat in the innings after that, at least until Brown walked “Nine Fingers” Freeman to begin the bottom 5th, then conceded an infield single to James Arnett. David Amos poked a 3-1 pitch into a double play, though, and Barrow grounded out to short.

The Raccoons pitchers’ 22-inning scoreless streak then ended in the sixth with Cullen Tortora and Alex Zacarias whacking hits to begin the inning, both to left and up the line. Tortora doubled, then scored on Zacarias’ single, but Brown grinded it out and stranded the tying run on base. The Coons then got a free runner out of a throwing error by Freeman – a tenth finger would have helped – that put Jeff Wilson on second base. Brown, on 87 pitches, hit for himself and dropped a single to center, putting runners on the corners for the top of the order. Cosmo lined out to first, with the pitcher barely scrambling back on base, before Nettles hit an RBI single to left-center, getting his otherwise sharply dropping average back to .400; Romero and Manny then both fanned…

Brown did seven innings, then was done. Jon Craig and Chuck Jones almost unravelled the lead entirely, with back-to-back doubles by Zacarias and Paul Kuehn narrowing the lead to 3-2 before Jones came in for Vermillion, pinch-hit for by Mario Duenez, who wacked the first pitch to deep center – where Romero snatched it on the run, stranding the tying run. Portland could not add anything to their lead against Ryan Kinner in the ninth inning, and then the ball went to Hamill, who had already blown a save this week… Freeman immediately led off with an infield single, then advanced on consecutive grounders. Mario Guadaloupe (.205, 0 HR, 2 RBI) pinch-hit in the #9 hole with the game on the line. He tied it with a single to center. I was nauseous for a bit, but I think Tortora popped out to end the inning.

Extra innings began with the Raccoons going down 1-2-3 against Justin Johns in the 10th. Eric Cox then made his debut, entering the bottom 10th with Travis Sims in a double switch. Sims had not pitched all week, and would not register an out. He walked Zacarias on four pitches, then gave up a single to right to Kuehn. Zacarias made for third base, Stephon Nettles threw the ball away, and Zacarias turned around and scored to sink the Coons. 4-3 Titans. Trevino 2-4, BB, 2B; de Wit (PH) 1-1; Brown 7.0 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 3 K and 1-3;

BOSTON.

BOSTON!!!!

Game 3
POR: CF Romero – 2B Carreno – SS Hunter – 1B Cortes – RF Reyna – LF de Wit – C Kilmer – 3B Cox – P Mathers
BOS: RF Liceaga – 1B A. Zacarias – CF Vermillion – 3B Freeman – C Kuehn – 2B Amos – LF Tortora – SS J. Rodriguez – P M. Gonzalez

Eric Cox got an RBI on his first time at-bat in the majors, singling home Miguel Reyna with two outs in the second inning. Reyna had hit the second of back-to-back leadoff doubles in the inning, and the score was 2-0 when Mathers grounded out. Even better – with Cortes and de Wit on the corners and two out in the fourth, Eric Cox hit *another* RBI single to center. 2-for-2 with 2 RBI – what a career he’s had!

Mathers didn’t allow a run through three innings, but conceded a leadoff single to Liceaga in the fourth, a double to Vermillion that barely bounced fair in rightfield, and then a run on a Freeman groundout. He struck out Kuehn in a full count to maintain a 3-1 lead, though. The Coons then added a comical run in the fifth inning. Romero led off with a single to right, and Liceaga overran the ball for an extra base. After Carreno popped out, Hunter singled to center, Vermillion – a Gold Glover at least – overran the ball for another error, and the Raccoons got a run and maintained their presence on second base, where Hunter was dutifully left by Cortes (F7) and Reyna (pretty dismal K).

Up 4-1, Corey Mathers did not get the W, because he did not get out of the fifth inning. David Amos opened the bottom 5th with a single, and then Mathers struck out two, raising his total to eight with no walks in the game! …and then he walked the ******* pitcher. Liceaga hit an RBI single, 4-2, and Zacarias drew another walk. Three on, two outs, Mark Vermillion up next, the Coons sought out Brent Clark, who insisted on walking in a run before Freeman hacked out to strand three. Sigh. Portland countered with leadoff singles by de Wit and Kilmer in the sixth, bringing back unbeaten terror Eric Cox, who hit a sac fly for an insurance run – which Paul Kuehn scratched back for Boston with a homer off Clark in the bottom of the inning. The next inning Liceaga lined a leadoff double off Rella, then went for home on Vermillion’s single to center – but was thrown out by Romero. Freeman hit another single. In despair, we threw in Lambert against Kuehn, getting a strikeout to bail out of the mess. Chuck Jones retired Boston in order in the eighth – never mind some sharply sliced balls right at de Wit and Cox. A tack-on chance then arose against Chris Haskell, right-hander with a 1-ish ERA, in the ninth inning. Hunter hit a 1-out single. Cortes doubled to left, and two were in scoring position for Reyna, who was ahead 3-1, poked, and hit a roller near the mound, but away from Haskell, and Freeman had played back and couldn’t rush the ball in time – infield single, 6-4! Jay de Wit lined out, Kilmer whiffed, and the Raccoons hung with Chuck Jones in the ninth. Mario Duenez grounded out to Omar Gutierrez, now at second base. Liceaga whiffed. Zacarias singled. Vermillion grounded up the middle, Gutierrez rushed over, stepped on the bag just before Zacarias could slide in, and the ballgame was in the books…! 6-4 Coons. Romero 2-5; Cortes 4-5, 2 2B; Reyna 3-5, 2B, 2 RBI; de Wit 2-5; Cox 2-3, 3 RBI; Jones 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K, SV (1);

Brent Clark got the win and Eric Cox got half the RBI in his first proper game. I like Cox!!

Game 4
POR:– CF Romero – 2B Trevino – SS Hunter – LF Fernandez – 1B Cortes – RF Nettles – C Wilson – 3B Cox – P Moreno
BOS: RF Liceaga – 1B A. Zacarias – LF W. Vega – 3B Freeman – C Kuehn – 2B Amos – CF Tortora – SS J. Rodriguez – P Donovan

Basic mojo for Nelson Moreno – keep that damn ERA under five now. Also, don’t blow the 4-0 lead the team gave you. Romero led off with a jack, and Cosmo, Hunter, Cortes, and Wilson raked further hits, including two doubles by the C guys, to get four runs in overall against Donovan in the first. The early signs were not *great*; the Titans whacked him for four singles the first time through – but no runs. They were stranded on the corners in the first inning, Juan Rodriguez was caught stealing with runners on the corners and one out in the second, and Donovan then popped out, too. Rodriguez went on to hurt himself on defense in the third, and was replaced with Justin Nelson.

The bags were full with one gone in the fourth inning for the Critters. Wilson singled, Cox reached on an error by Donovan, and Romero walked after the bunt. Cosmo popped out, Hunter grounded out, and nobody scored. I could already feel the roaring Titans comeback kicking into gear. Kuehn and Amos hit 1-out singles in the bottom 4th, and Tortora ripped a double to the base of the wall to get them on base. That was good for one run, but Nelson struck out ahead of Donovan, who stranded another pair with a pop. In short, no, Nelson Moreno’s pitching was hardly great in this game… The Titans had the runners back in scoring position immediately in the bottom 5th. Liceaga hit a loud single to right. Zacarias whacked a screaming double to left. Mound conference to get the kid on the hill working again – fruitless effort though. Willie Vega bombed the game tied on the next pitch. A Freeman single knocked Moreno out, and then Sims retired nobody once more, conceding a single to Kuehn, a walk to Amos to fill them up (with nobody out), and another walk to Tortora to get the go-ahead run home. Nelson and Donovan struck out before a Liceaga pop created chaos on the infield when Sims ran into Cortes and the ball hit Cortes in the head. To add insult to headache, Cortes was charged with an error as a run scored. Sims nailed Zacarias to force in another run, then was yanked. Brent Clark came on. He allowed a 2-run single to Vega, then a 3-run homer to Freeman. Paul Kuehn struck out, ending an 11-run (8 earned) nightmare inning.

Deflated, the Raccoons lay unconscious for a while, before the Titans invited them back into the game in the eighth inning. Omar Gutierrez had reached the #9 hole in a double switch earlier, then hit a 2-run double plating Wilson and Cox off Seth Green, who was soon removed. Tony Romero reached on a throwing error by Amos that scored Gutierrez, and new pitcher Chris Haskell conceded Romero’s run on Cosmo’s single, which unfortunately brought up … Cory Lambert. Anticipating a listless loss, Tony Hunter had been removed in the double switch. Reyna pinch-hit, but grounded out, ending the inning, and the Raccoons entered the ninth still trailing by four. Manny flew out to left. Cortes singled to center. Nettles grounded out. And so did Wilson. 12-8 Titans. Trevino 2-5, RBI; Cortes 2-5, 2B, RBI; Wilson 3-5, 2B, RBI; Gutierrez 1-1, 2B, 2 RBI;

In other news

July 2 – SFB SP Joe Robinson (3-5, 4.50 ERA) no-hits the Buffaloes at Warriors Ballpark, conceding three and whiffing six in the effort. One of the walks comes around to score, the final tally being 7-1 Warriors. This is the third-ever no-hitter for the Warriors after those pitched by Juan Muniz (2029) and Pat Okrasinski (2033).
July 2 – WAS 2B Logan Arnold (.339, 5 HR, 35 RBI) is out for the year with a broken elbow.
July 3 – CIN LF/CF Jayden Lockwood (.297, 9 HR, 44 RBI) has three hits and 5 RBI as the Cyclones douse the Buffaloes, 13-1.
July 4 – The Capitals send SP Bryce Sparkes (5-8, 4.73 ERA) to the Thunder for a prospect.
July 5 – Salem super utility Bob Mancini (.317, 8 HR, 45 RBI) will be out for a month with a sprained ankle.

FL Player of the Week: LAP OF Juan Benavides (.347, 13 HR, 57 RBI), hitting .484 (15-31) with 3 HR, 10 RBI
CL Player of the Week: VAN 2B Dan Schneller (.305, 13 HR, 65 RBI), batting .519 (14-27) with 2 HR, 8 RBI

FL Hitter of the Month: CIN 1B Danny Santillano (.323, 12 HR, 43 RBI), batting .356 with 6 HR, 20 RBI
CL Hitter of the Month: VAN OF Jerry Outram (.386, 8 HR, 38 RBI), hitting .367 with 5 HR, 12 RBI
FL Pitcher of the Month: SAL SP Justin Roberts (9-5, 3.28 ERA), throwing 6-0 with a 1.98 ERA, 30 K
CL Pitcher of the Month: OCT CL Roland Warner (5-1, 0.76 ERA, 22 SV), slamming the door 2-0 with an 0.64 ERA, 9 SV, 14 K
FL Rookie of the Month: SFW 1B Justin Garthright (.291, 8 HR, 27 RBI), hitting .254 with 4 HR, 14 RBI
CL Rookie of the Month: CHA OF Miguel Martinez (.343, 1 HR, 12 RBI), all of that coming in June

Complaints and stuff

FL Rookie of June Jordan Garthright is 29 years old. That is rather late for having a spring. Leaves little time for a summer. He only made his debut last year, batting .325 with no homers, 6 RBI then. By contrast, the CL Rookie is a tender *19* years old. They discovered him while he was a streetsweeper apprentice in the Dominican Republic, throwing trash into a bin up to 250 feet away. Apparently he can also hit!

Jesus Maldonado started a rehab assignment on Wednesday. He will rejoin the team on Monday.

Wyatt Hamill’s gotta ******* go. I don’t care what we get back for him. Doesn’t have to be pretty. Doesn’t have to be useful. Because I understand the market, and he’s ******* neither.

The last Coons closer that was not an utter piece of turd was probably Josh Boles, and he tore his labrum in ’30 and was never the same after that (although he is still closing for the damn Elks). We haven’t had a guy that put ONE good season together since *2029*…

The window for international free agent signings has opened. The Raccoons have already snatched up three teenagers for a total of $60k, but there is one starting pitcher we’re after that will cost a lot more than that.

Fun Fact: Joe Robinson is the third pitcher in league history to give up a run in his no-hitter.

That previously happened in 1998 to Portland’s Manuel “Bam Bam” Movonda, who won a 2-1 no-hitter. The other pitcher is Dallas’ Mark Holliday, who is the only pitcher in the league to lose a no-hitter, 1-0, coincidentally to the Warriors, in 2037.