[Westheim]

Played this 10 hours ago, and now my internet will actually let me post it.

The internet provider service shack in town is actually going to open tomorrow due to 'rona numbers being this and that, and I will hike there and commit some assault. Definitely verbal, maybe even with a baseball bat. I'll take Kilmer's. It's not like he needs one for his job.

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Raccoons (67-69) @ Canadiens (80-57) – September 9-11, 2042

There was nothing to win in Elk City for this team, and they hadn’t won much at all from them all year long. The season series stood a depressing 10-2 in the damn Elks’ favor, they were first in runs scored and fifth in runs allowed, and I feared for the well-being of my most precious, treasured, tender rookie.

Projected matchups:
Jason Wheatley (0-0, 1.23 ERA) vs. Mike Mihalik (15-9, 3.35 ERA)
Nelson Moreno (11-11, 4.84 ERA) vs. Paul Medvec (10-6, 4.47 ERA)
Cory Lambert (4-5, 3.50 ERA) vs. David Arias (10-14, 4.48 ERA)

The Coons would get three right-handers, while I was watching from afar, being rolled into a ball on the trusty brown couch in the office with Honeypaws in one paw, the other one in a glass of peanut butter, occasionally licking the latter, and my head on a pillow on Slappy’s thigh.

Game 1
POR: 2B Trevino – RF Nettles – 3B Maldonado – LF Fernandez – 1B Yamamoto – C Kilmer – CF Anderson – SS Harroun – P Wheatley
VAN: RF van der Zanden – 1B J. Lopez – CF Outram – 2B Schneller – C Clemente – 3B G. Ortiz – SS R. Johnston – LF J. Simmons – P Mihalik

The Raccoons scratched out a quick run in the first inning on singles by Cosmo and Nettles, who went to the corners, and then a run-scoring groundout by Maldonado to Dan Schneller. Slappy and Cristiano I could hear nodding and making approving comments over my own noisy paw-licking, but I was unconcerned that the team wasn’t headed for disaster. Jason Wheatley had notably not struck out anybody in his major league debut, but got that burden off his back when he whiffed both rookie Arnout van der Zanden and Johnny Lopez (decidedly not a rookie) in full counts to begin his outing. Wheatley picked up his first major league hit in the top 2nd, singling to add to David Harroun on the bases – both scored on Cosmo’s right-center gap triple to extend the lead to 3-0. Wheatley then drilled Timóteo Clemente in the hip in the bottom 2nd, leading to the backstop’s replacement with Derek James, but Greg Ortiz whiffed and Ryan Johnston hit into a double play to end the inning. Wheatley would continue to control the damn Elks in the next innings, and actually didn’t allow a base hit until Johnston singled off him in the fifth inning.

And while Slappy and Cristiano and even Maud – who I requested another jar of peanut butter from because this one was half empty and no longer comfy to slide my paw into – agreed that Wheatley looked like a winner, I had seen things and also remembered them. A thousand games of horror against the damn Elks had to count for something! The horror broke free in the sixth inning with a leadoff single by the opposing pitcher, whom the Raccoons had failed to dislodge despite putting three on him early and none after that, another single by van der Zanden, and an RBI single by Lopez, and only now – with the tying runs aboard – did the big guns turn up… unexpectedly, Jerry Outram popped out and Dan Schneller hit into a fielder’s choice, allowing Wheatley to escape obliteration with a K to James. He would get through seven innings in total before being replaced on grounds of his pitch count being roughly 100 and the top of the order coming up in the eighth. Chuck Jones struck out the 1-2-3 batters in order in the bottom 8th, preserving a 3-1 lead for increasingly anemic appearing Raccoons, and didn’t do anything of lasting value in the ninth, either. Josh Rella got the bottom 9th with the 2-run lead, and wasted no time in making me feel nauseous – or maybe it was the 15 ounces of peanut butter? – when he walked Schneller and nailed PH Julio Diaz. Ortiz hit a grounder to short that Phil Haley started to turn into a 6-4-3 double play, pushing the tying run off the bases and the winning run back to the on-deck circle. Ryan Johnston was up with two outs and Schneller on third base, grounded to second, and Cosmo converted the ball into the last out without much fuzz. 3-1 Raccoons! Trevino 2-5, 3B, 2 RBI; Wheatley 7.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 6 K, W (1-0) and 1-3;

First career win of … (waves with all paws) … 300! At least! Per season!!

Alberto Ramos rejoined the team from his rehab assignment by Wednesday. He had batted 1-for-18 with the Alley Cats, but had also drawn six walks.

Game 2
POR: 1B Ramos – 2B Trevino – 3B Maldonado – LF Fernandez – RF Waltz – C Sieber – SS Harroun – CF Gonzalez – P Moreno
VAN: RF van der Zanden – 1B J. Lopez – CF Outram – 2B Schneller – C Clemente – 3B G. Ortiz – SS R. Johnston – LF Mann – P Medvec

No good feelings on Wednesday. Nelson Moreno walked three Elks in the first inning and was touched for as many runs thanks to singles by Outram (one RBI) and Greg Ortiz (two) in strategically valuable spots. He gave up a solo homer to Schneller the second time through, and that was all the damn Elks would see of him, yanked after four innings in a 4-1 deficit when his spot conveniently opened the fifth inning at the plate. Jay de Wit walked in that spot, Maldonado found a single with two outs, but Manny Fernandez, who had singled home Cosmo in the third inning, popped out to Ortiz to end the inning. The Coons turned to Jake White to pitch in the bottom 5th – he had been on the roster since September 1 without making an appearance – just in time for somebody to give up an overdue homer to Jerry Outram, 5-1. Corey Mathers, who had yielded his spot in the rotation to Wheatley at the start of the month, but MIGHT SOON GET SOMEONE ELSE’S SPOT – sorry, Maud, I was using my angry voice. – Yes, Maud. – Oh, I would love another jar of peanut butter…! ……anyway, Mathers pitched three scoreless innings (with a little luck in form of two timely double plays turned behind him) in garbage relief while the offensive corps did absolutely nothing. 5-1 Canadiens. Trevino 2-4; Harroun 2-3; Mathers 3.0 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K;

Slump report: Kilmer is 6-for-62, Nettles 6-for-41, and Justin Waltz, who looked like the future two weeks ago… 0-for-*******-20.

Game 3
POR: 1B Ramos – 2B Trevino – 3B Maldonado – LF Fernandez – RF Waltz – CF Anderson – SS Haley – C Kilmer – P Lambert
VAN: RF van der Zanden – 1B J. Lopez – CF Outram – 2B Schneller – C Clemente – 3B G. Ortiz – SS Agosto – LF Mann – P D. Arias

The Coons had a Cosmo single and nothing else after three innings, while Lambert got whacked around so hard that I dropped my peanut butter jar at least twice, once without noticing, leading me to lick Honeypaws’ belly instead. Lambert allowed eight hits through three innings, four of those in a 3-run third inning. Johnny Lopez hit a homer and Lambert allowed three singles after that, balking in Ortiz for the third and final run of the inning before striking out Jeremy Mann.

Cosmo led off the fourth with another single, while Maldonado reached on an error by Jose Agosto. Manny flew out to right, but Justin Waltz ended his 0-for-21 spill with an RBI single in shallow center, getting the Raccoons on the board. Van Anderson got a liner past van der Zanden for an RBI double, and Haley tied the game with his first career RBI, a sac fly to Mann. Despite being in a tailspin, Kilmer was walked intentionally with the go-ahead run on second base, and Lambert grounded out to Lopez to end the inning. He then swiftly surrendered another three hits to the 2-3-4 batters, as well as another run in the bottom 4th, which was an RBI single that got Schneller to 113 RBI – leading the CL by miles and miles. Manny Fernandez was actually competing for second place in the category, and tied the game when he drove in his 88th in the top 5th, singling across Maldonado with two outs. He stole second base, his 16th of the season, but was stranded when Waltz grounded out.

The damn Elks got their third lead of the game just when I dug into my third jar of peanut butter, Johnny Lopez taking deep Zack Kelly to make it 5-4 in the sixth. The Raccoons put Berto and Cosmo on base in the seventh, but got nowhere with Maldo and Manny, and Derek Barker came apart for two hits, two walks, and three runs in the bottom of that inning to put the game and the series away even before another three singles scored a run against Jon Craig in the eighth. 9-4 Canadiens. Trevino 3-4;

Raccoons (68-71) @ Loggers (76-64) – September 12-14, 2042

The Loggers were six games out and needed the win, but the Raccoons had taken an 8-7 lead in the season series. One more W would be required to avoid losing the series to the Loggers for the fourth straight year, which had happened before (in the Decade of Darkness), but at least this much vigor I can ask for right? Milwaukee sat second in runs scored and sixth in runs allowed in the league.

Projected matchups:
Jake Jackson (10-11, 3.75 ERA) vs. Sergio Piedra (13-6, 3.99 ERA)
Brent Clark (5-3, 2.44 ERA) vs. Bobby Freels (12-8, 4.07 ERA)
Jason Wheatley (1-0, 1.26 ERA) vs. Joe Hicks (8-12, 3.77 ERA)

The Loggers had not played baseball three of the last four days – once as scheduled, and twice because of rain. The sole exception had been a double-header they split brotherly with the Titans on Tuesday. There was thus a lot of flux in that rotation. Piedra went on regular rest, while the other two had yet to appear this week. Sal Chavez (18-8, 3.63 ERA) and sole southpaw Chris Lulay (12-11, 4.58 ERA) had pitched in that double header.

Game 1
POR: 2B Trevino – RF Nettles – 3B Maldonado – LF Fernandez – 1B Yamamoto – CF Anderson – SS Haley – C Lancaster – P Jackson
MIL: RF Cannizzard – SS Del Vecchio – 1B Brayboy – CF Reeves – 3B Paul – LF Hertenstein – C F. Gomez – 2B V. Acosta – P Piedra

******* Aaron Brayboy doubled in Tim Cannizzard for the first run of the game, with the latter having reached on four straight balls handed out by Jackson to begin his day. You couldn’t see it at first glance, but Jackson was supposed to be the grownup in the rotation… He offered another leadoff walk to Daniel Hertenstein in the bottom 2nd, and that run came around to score as well, on two singles, the big one by Cannizzard with two outs. At least the resentworthy Ted Del Vecchio flew out to center…

Three innings into the game we got a lengthy rain delay, which served to axe Jackson early after 59 pitches, four hits, three walks, and lots of teeth gnashing by his GM. Travis Sims would pitch 2.1 innings in relief after that, but combined with Chuck Jones for the bases being loaded in the bottom 6th, with Brayboy grounding out to Cosmo to strand all runners in what was then a 2-1 game – the Raccoons had only four hits, but had somehow squeezed out a run on Maldo being hit by his 20th pitch of the year, Manny singling him to third base, and a groundout by Van Anderson to get on the board at all in the sixth. Jake White also chewed noisily in two innings of relief after Brayboy stranded a full set, putting four runners on base but escaping damage by the end of the eighth inning when Brayboy again grounded out to strand a full set. Unfortunately we were still a run behind at that point and would bring up the joking bottom of the order in the ninth, starting with Van Anderson against Kurt Crater. Anderson singled to left on 0-2. Waltz batted for Haley – straight into a double play. Lancaster walked, and Kilmer batted for White … and straight to short with a grounder again, this one ending the game. 2-1 Loggers. Maldonado 1-2, BB; Fernandez 2-4; Lancaster 2-2, 2 BB; Sims 2.1 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 0 K; White 2.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 1 K;

Game 2
POR: 1B Ramos – 2B Trevino – 3B Maldonado – LF Fernandez – RF Waltz – SS Harroun – CF Anderson – C Kilmer – P Clark
MIL: CF Reeves – RF Cannizzard – 3B Paul – 1B Brayboy – LF Hertenstein – SS Del Vecchio – C F. Gomez – 2B V. Acosta – P Freels

Cosmo tripled in the first, which did not lead to a run because the rest of the team had yet to get up from the second breakfast table. At least they were still physically present for the second inning, which Tim Cannizzard wasn’t, having been ejected for slamming his bat on the ground when he was called out for looking at a borderline 3-2 pitch. Adam Borchard replaced him. The Coons took a 1-0 lead in the second inning when Kilmer doubled home Harroun, which made for a nice H blip in Kilmer’s hitting register. Borchard flew out to strand Loggers on the corners in the bottom 3rd, and both pitchers issued a pair of walks that did not lead to a single run in the fourth inning. Manny and Harroun reached base for the Raccoons, but were left stranded.

The 1-0 lead stood into the sixth, when Brent Clark was suddenly and rudely unhorsed by straight singles slapped by Jared Paul, Aaron Brayboy, Daniel Hertenstein, and of course ******* Ted Del Vecchio – and all with nobody out. The lead was blown up, Milwaukee took a 2-1 lead, and had two more runners in scoring position when Clark dug himself a trench, struck out Gomez and Acosta, and a got a pop from PH Valentino Sicco to end the inning without allowing another run. He hung on the hook now, though, and the team would not do anything to remove him any time soon. Berto reached on an error in the seventh and was doubled up by Cosmo, and that was the extent of their comeback ambitions in the seventh. Instead Tim Hale allowed singles to Borchard and ******** Brayboy in the bottom 7th, and then plated an insurance run with a wild pitch.

The tying runs were on base with nobody out in the eighth when Manny hit a double that knocked out Freels, and righty Cesar Perez waltzed Walk. Nettles was sent to bat for Harroun, prompting a pitching change for lefty Marvin Verduzco and a fielder’s choice that kept the tying run at first base through an Anderson pop. Kilmer faced righty Ron Purcell, but jabbed an RBI single when nobody expected it, shortening the score to 3-2. Yamamoto pinch-hit and struck out to end the inning. To make the misery complete, Derek Barker then got under the wheels AGAIN, facing five Loggers, and conceding four sharp base hits for three runs, including back-to-back RBI doubles to PH Tony Lira and Bill Reeves. The fourth run on his ledger was waved in by Alexis Cortes on a Borchard single. The irony of it all was that the Raccoons then scored a run in the ninth out of spite… 7-3 Loggers. Trevino 2-5, 3B; Maldonado 2-5, 2B, RBI; Harroun 1-2, BB; Kilmer 2-3, BB, 2B, 2 RBI;

Cannizzard was suspended for three games for hurting the umpire’s feelings, but that wouldn’t be enough to gift a W to the Raccoons in the Sunday game.

Game 3
POR: 2B Trevino – CF Nettles – SS Maldonado – LF Fernandez – 1B Yamamoto – 3B de Wit – C Sieber – RF Casaus – P Wheatley
MIL: RF Fleming – SS Del Vecchio – 1B Brayboy – CF Reeves – 3B Paul – LF Hertenstein – C F. Gomez – 2B V. Acosta – P S. Chavez

Playing with reckless abandon as his time in Portland came to an end, Cosmo legged out a triple to open the game, then scored on a Nettles single. Nettles stole second, then was stranded on a grounder and two strikeouts. That was the Raccoons’ offense for the day, presumably, so it was on Wheatley to protect the 1-0 lead, which worked through seven outs, but then he walked Acosta and misfielded Chavez’ bunt for an out at second base that could not be gotten – all Loggers were safe, and ******* ****** ******** Ted Del Vecchio tied the game with a 2-out single in the same inning. Sandy Casaus overran that ball, putting runners in scoring position, but Brayboy somehow popped out to end the inning with a 1-1 tie on the board.

It only got worse from there. Reeves opened the fourth with a triple to right, where Casaus again looked like three blind mice. Wheatley walked Paul, then got bombed by a no-doubt, 3-run homer by Hertenstein that gave the Loggers a 4-1 lead. The Raccoons then loaded the bases in the sixth inning after about an hour of absolutely nothing on their part. Cosmo, Maldo, Manny were all aboard for Yamamoto with one out. But the Raccoons only got a sac fly out of the situation before de Wit flew out to Jonathan Fleming. Wheatley was hit for in the seventh to no great effect, but the tying run was at the plate with nobody out in the eighth after Nettles singled off Sal Chavez. Maldo flew out to left before Chavez unleashed not one, but two wild pitches, then walked Manny to put runners on the corners for Yamamoto, who struck out. Chavez walked Jay de Wit, which led to Berto batting for Sieber with the bases loaded and two outs. He grounded out to Brayboy, manning first base like a ******* ************* **** *****. (angrily kicks over a trash can on the concourse, spilling litter all over the place)

We saw Kurt Crater with a 4-2 lead in the ninth, with Van Anderson pinch-hitting in the #8 hole to begin the inning. He struck out, while Waltz reached on a throwing error by Acosta. Cosmo grounded out. Nettles grounded out. The security guard made me clean up the concourse with a broom even after the Raccoons were done getting swept into oblivion. 4-2 Loggers. Trevino 2-5, 3B; Nettles 2-5, RBI;

In other news

September 10 – TOP SP Alvaro Molina (1-4, 6.37 ERA) could face an entire 2043 season on the shelf – the rookie right-hander is out with a torn UCL and will have to undergo Tommy John surgery.
September 11 – ATL LF/RF/1B Marc DeVita (.310, 2 HR, 11 RBI) is headed for knee surgery with a torn medial collateral ligament and might miss the start of the 2043 season.
September 12 – Warriors 2B/SS Mario Colon (.233, 9 HR, 29 RBI) is out for the year with a knee sprain.
September 12 – Also out with a knee sprain is TOP RF Troy Greenway (.279, 14 HR, 61 RBI).
September 13 – With runners in scoring position and two outs in the bottom 9th, RIC MR Alex Banderas (7-5, 4.52 ERA, 3 SV) throws away a pickoff attempt, allowing TOP C Manny Terrones (2-for-2, 0 HR, RBI) to scamper home from third base for a 6-5 walkoff win for the Buffos.

FL Player of the Week: RIC OF/1B Alex Marquez (.298, 23 HR, 90 RBI), hitting .333 (10-30) with 4 HR, 10 RBI
CL Player of the Week: CHA 1B Mark Cahill (.283, 11 HR, 71 RBI), batting .478 (11-23) with 1 HR, 3 RBI

Complaints and stuff

The main boons of this week were Jason Wheatley getting his first decisions (one of each…), and the Raccoons rigorously improving their draft position through a string of terribly played ballgames where pitching and offense really worked together to ensure the least amount of wins possible.

I don’t even know what else to say anymore – our inability to play those two teams is ghastly.

Next week: Crusaders, Aces.

Fun Fact: The previous time the Raccoons lost the season series four years running against the Loggers was from 1997 through 2000.

Not that we won much else back then.

And not that I have much hope for 2043 at this stage.