[Westheim]

Originally Posted by DD Martin

So you must still have a lot of budget money floating around at Critter Central. Hopefully Nick doesn’t take it back to explore (demolish) the caves near Grants Pass looking for some sort of fossil fuel or coal. Maybe have Maud hid it somewhere

They’re already gone. Had to be filled in so that Nick could erect a commercial Thunderdome above.

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Raccoons (0-0) vs. Canadiens (0-0) – April 7-9, 2043

Yeah, this season would get off so well. The Raccoons had rumbled to a 4-14 finish against the damn Elks, the defending division champs (coughs blood), last season, and there was simply no reason to be confident that things would change this year. This was a team that could do a lot of pounding, and the Raccoons were a team that would have to do a lot of taking this season.

Projected matchups:
Jake Jackson (0-0) vs. Matt Sealock (0-0)
Brent Clark (0-0) vs. Paul Medvec (0-0)
Jason Wheatley (0-0) vs. David Arias (0-0)

We would get all their right-handers and none of their southpaws John Roeder and Alex Lewis.

Game 1
VAN: RF van der Zanden – C Clemente – CF Outram – 2B Schneller – LF M. Hernandez – 3B J. Becker – 1B J. Lopez – SS R. Johnston – P Sealock
POR: 2B Carreno – 3B Jimenez – CF Maldonado – LF Fernandez – 1B Yamamoto – C Kilmer – SS Castro – RF Nettles – P Jackson

…and Portland scored first! Rookie #1, Arturo Carreno, opened their half of the first inning with a double to left, then scored on a Maldonado double to right. Manny singled, and then the inning fizzled out between Shuta Yamamoto’s pop and Jeff Kilmer whiffing. Jackson held up the 1-0 score for a while, despite having near-constant traffic thanks to two walks and three hits in the first four innings, including leadoff singles for both Jerry Outram and Dan Schneller, the two stars in the middle of that damn Elks lineup. A fly to center, a fielder’s choice, and a K to Johnny Lopez would get Jackson out of that jam. The Coons had nobody on in the bottom 4th when Jose Castro doubled with two outs. Stephon Nettles was walked intentionally, but Jackson clipped a single to drive in Castro from second base, 2-0. Carreno legged out an infield single on a tricky roller, and that loaded the bases for debutee Ricky Jimenez, who thus far had grounded out twice for a career, and now had three on and nobody out. He got a pretty fat 3-1 from Sealock and whacked it deep to left … deep, deep… and caught by Melvin Hernandez.

The Coons’ first steal of the season came in the fifth, and was put into the books by Manny Fernandez, who singled, then swiped second, reached third on a wild pitch after that, and was singled in by Yamamoto eventually to make it a 3-0 game. Carreno, who had gone 4-for-7 stealing in his brief time up in ’42, also stole a base in the sixth inning, as the Raccoons embarked on a quest to not only steal more bases than they’d hit homers or win games, but maybe even both of those combined…

Jackson held a 4-hit shutout together through seven innings, but would go no further on account of 109 pitches thrown by that point. The damn Elks the found the board against Chuck Jones in the eighth inning, thanks to a leadoff triple by Arnout van der Zanden in right-center. Timóteo Clemente singled the runner home, 3-1, but Jones and Jon Craig wiggled out of the inning after that. Bottom 8th, Jose Castro reached on a Schneller error to begin the inning, then stole second, but between Nettles, Omar Gutierrez, and Carreno was stranded. Josh Rella didn’t care – he put the damn Elks away on five pitches and three times soft contact in the ninth inning. 3-1 Furballs! Carreno 2-5, 2B; Fernandez 2-4; Yamamoto 2-4, 2B, RBI; Castro 2-4, 2B; Jackson 7.0 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 3 BB, 6 K, W (1-0);

Winners! (shows off his dated disco moves) We’re winners!! Ta-dah!! (spins around, then abruptly freezes)

(reaches for the edge of the desk and whines) Maaaud…! Call Dr. Padilla…!

Game 2
VAN: RF van der Zanden – C Clemente – CF Outram – 2B Schneller – 1B J. Lopez – LF J. Becker – SS R. Johnston – 3B R. Ashley – P Medvec
POR: 2B Carreno – 3B Jimenez – CF Maldonado – LF Fernandez – 1B Yamamoto – C Kilmer – SS Castro – RF Waltz – P Clark

By the middle game on Wednesday, the Raccoons had the bullpen up in the second inning thanks to Brent Clark allowing two leadoff walks to Schneller and Johnny Lopez, a single to Justin Becker, and then a slam over the fence in left to Ryan Johnston. That would turn out to be the only runs out of Clark, who tacked on another four scoreless after that, but by the time he was finished on 103 pitches in the middle of the sixth, the Raccoons had scattered seven hits for no runs, thanks to three double plays being hit into, and Carreno getting caught stealing in our first entry into the CS column.

Seth Green made his Raccoons debut in the seventh inning, briefly acquiring an infinite franchise ERA when Clemente took him deep to left leading off. The Raccoons also finally made the board in that inning, getting Kilmer on base and then a homer to right from new arrival Jose Castro, narrowing the gap to 5-2. After Nelson Moreno sat down the 7-8-9 in order in the top 8th, the bottom 8th saw the tying run come to the plate for Portland after Medvec nailed Jimenez and Maldonado singled, all with nobody out. Manny hit a floater to left that dinked in front of a rushing Justin Becker by one foot at most. This filled the bags for the Critters, and now the damn Elks had them right where they wanted them. (bangs fist on table) Yamamoto immediately hit a comebacker that was taken for an out at home. Gutierrez hit for Kilmer to get a lefty bat in there, but struck out. Castro flew out to end the inning with all runners still aboard… Instead, the Elks’ 3-4-5 hitters clubbed Zack Kelly for a tack-on run in the ninth. 6-2 Canadiens. Carreno 2-5, 2B; Fernandez 2-4; Castro 2-4, HR, 2 RBI; Nettles (PH) 1-1;

Game 3
VAN: 1B J. Lopez – C Clemente – CF Outram – 2B Schneller – LF M. Hernandez – 3B J. Becker – RF V. Vazquez – SS R. Johnston – P D. Arias
POR: 2B Carreno – SS Castro – CF Maldonado – LF Fernandez – 1B Yamamoto – C Sieber – 3B Gutierrez – RF Waltz – P Wheatley

First start of the year for Jason Wheatley – and it went entirely into the gutter right from the start. Dan Schneller took him deep after a first-inning walk to Outram, 2-0 Elks, and that line tripled in the second inning, where Wheatley issued another two walk, three hits, and a Yamamoto error in the formative stage of the inning also didn’t exactly help, but made three of the Elks’ four runs in the inning unearned. The damn Elks even helped out, with Johnny Lopez getting thrown out going first to third on a bases-loaded, 2-run single by Jerry Outram. Wheatley was back for the third inning, conceded another run on Ryan Johnston double with two outs, and was hit for with Jay de Wit in the bottom 3rd while Arias faced the minimum, in other words, ballgame.

The Raccoons went to Sauerkraut for garbage relief in his Raccoons debut, but was held to two innings as rain interfered with both his long relief quest and Arias’ no-hitter that ended in the fifth inning. He pitched after an hourlong delay with the 7-0 lead, which was probably not advised, put Sieber and Gutierrez on the corners, then with two outs gave up the first career hit of pinch-hitter Ricky Jimenez – a thundering 3-run homer to left! …and unfortunately that was all for the Raccoons, who got only two more runners the rest of the way against long relief from Joe Hicks, and otherwise went down meekly – though not without Manny Fernandez getting killed by Sean Green, who gave up a long fly to left to Clemente that Manny caught while crashing into the fence, then left the game in favor of Van Anderson with back discomfort. 7-3 Canadiens. Maldonado 2-4, 2B; Jimenez (PH) 1-1, HR, 3 RBI; Becker 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 0 K; Green 3.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 2 K;

Manny’s back would remain a problem for a while – he was said to have a mildly herniated disc by Dr. Padilla, and would be day-to-day for at least a week. A DL stint was an option, but we’d try to rest him a day or two first.

Raccoons (1-2) vs. Bayhawks (3-1) – April 10-12, 2043

The Baybirds had taken three of four from the Condors for second place in the CL South at this early point, trailing only the undefeated Falcons. They had scored 18 runs and conceded 15, while the Raccoons were bottoms in the league in runs scored, and that wasn’t gonna get better any time soon. We had an 8-year run of winning the season series against San Francisco, taking five of nine games last year.

Projected matchups:
Corey Mathers (0-0) vs. Rafael Pedraza (0-0)
Cory Lambert (0-0) vs. Mike Mihalik (0-0, 8.10 ERA)
Jake Jackson (1-0, 0.00 ERA) vs. Garrett Sutherland (0-0, 3.00 ERA)

For the second series in a row, we would dodge a team’s two left-handers. Typical Raccoons luck, now that our lineup leans righty quite significantly… *and* with Manny ailing…

Game 1
SFB: SS J. Gonzalez – CF M. Hall – 3B Sifuentes – 1B D. Cruz – RF S. Martin – C J. Hill – LF Ju. Brito – 2B V. Acosta – P Pedraza
POR: 2B Carreno – SS Castro – 3B Jimenez – CF Maldonado – 1B Yamamoto – RF Nettles – C Kilmer – LF Anderson – P Mathers

Mathers allowed a leadoff single to Jorge Gonzalez to begin the game, then retired nine in a row after that before getting a lead in the bottom 3rd when Carreno singled, stole second, and was plated with a Jimenez single for a 1-0 Critters lead. The Bayhawks only reached base again in the fifth inning; John Hill singled up the middle, and Mathers lost Juan Brito in a full count, but then struck out Vic Acosta and Pedraza to get out of the inning. Through five he had a 2-hit shutout and five strikeouts, but had also already thrown over 80 pitches, 30 of those in the fifth.

Bottom 5th, Van Anderson led off with a slap single to left on a 1-2 pitch, then was bunted to second and scored on a Carreno double in the left-center gap. Jimenez grabbed another RBI with a 2-out single, extending the lead to 3-0. Mathers held on to that for another two innings, finishing his day still with a 2-hitter and 103 pitches through seven. Chuck Jones followed up with a scoreless inning, and the Raccoons scratched out another run in the bottom 8th, when Stephon Nettles hit a Brito-assisted triple to left that should have been caught, then scored on a Kilmer single to make it 4-0. Josh Rella still got in the game in the ninth against the top of the order. He proceeded to make it “interesting”, for after a pop to second by Gonzalez, Rella stuffed the bases with a Mike Hall single, then two walks to Ramon Sifuentes and Danny Cruz. When he walked Scott Martin, too, in a full count, and forced in a run, he was yanked. Zack Kelly came in, matching up with PH Corey Caldwell. He got a grounder from Caldwell that scored a run, then whiffed PH Dave Martinez to end the game. 4-2 Coons. Carreno 2-4, 2B, RBI; Jimenez 3-3, BB, 2 RBI; Kilmer 3-4, RBI; Mathers 7.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 5 K, W (1-0);

Game 2
SFB: SS J. Gonzalez – CF M. Hall – 3B Sifuentes – 1B D. Cruz – LF Caldwell – C J. Hill – RF Ju. Brito – 2B V. Acosta – P Mihalik
POR: 2B Carreno – RF Nettles – 3B Jimenez – CF Maldonado – 1B Yamamoto – SS Gutierrez – C Kilmer – LF de Wit – P Lambert

We were used to not getting anything out of the former damn, dumb Elk Mike Mihalik, so we were not exactly shocked to only get two hits off him in five innings and no runs. Lambert was *fine*, allowing four hits in five innings, but unfortunately three of them got bundled into the fourth inning and led to a run, Acosta driving in Caldwell for the game’s first and lonely run. Lambert held San Fran short in the sixth, while Carreno reached with a leadoff single – and then was caught stealing. Lambert also ended up going seven innings, doing so on 106 pitches (making Wheatley very much the ugly duckling five games in), but was still on the hook when he got his pat on the fuzzy bum. Gutierrez hit a 2-out single in the bottom of the seventh, but was also stranded when Kilmer grounded out. Bottom 8th, de Wit hit a soft single to center to begin the inning. Manny Fernandez grabbed a stick to hit for Nelson Moreno, who had delivered a scoreless (but not trouble-free) eighth inning, but grounded out. Mihalik lost Carreno on balls, narrowly, then saw Nettles reach on a howling bloop between Caldwell and Gonzalez. Three on, nobody out for Ricky Jimenez – and a spanker to short, to second, to first, inning over. Jon Craig held the Bayhawks away in the ninth inning, prompting Matt May into the game in the bottom 9th with the tiniest of leads, and with Maldonado leading off. Maldo slapped a soft liner to center on 3-1, getting it to fall in for a single. He went on pitcher’s movement on the 1-0 pitch to Yamamoto, which the first baseman slapped to right, allowing Maldo to reach third base with the tying run. Gutierrez hit another single to right, tying the game and sending Yamamoto to second base, where he was lifted for Justin Waltz to pinch-run. Kilmer then threw some screws and bolts into the well-oiled machinery, making it all clunk and stutter with a double play, 6-4-3. That brought up de Wit with the winning run on third base and two outs – and he slapped another grounder to the right side … and through! Waltz scored and the Raccoons walked off …! 2-1 Critters! Nettles 2-4; Gutierrez 2-3, BB, RBI; de Wit 3-4, RBI; Lambert 7.0 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 4 BB; 5 K;

Aruba suffered a major power outage when everybody on the island tuned their TVs to NWSN when de Wit was up in the bottom 9th, but I think word of his game-winning slap single eventually spread to everybody.

Winning team again! (enthusiastically double-high-fives Cristiano Carmona so hard, Cristiano’s wheelchair tilts backwards and sends him crashing into the bobblehead cabinet)

Maud? – Can you send for Dr. Padilla once more?

Normally we liked to give everybody a day off in the first week if the schedule didn’t offer an off day on Thursday, but with Manny day-to-day things were a bit tighter and Maldonado would sub for Yamamoto at first base on Sunday. Maldo would get a day off against the next right-hander the following week; he was the only player not afforded an off day through the first week.

Game 3
SFB: SS J. Gonzalez – CF M. Hall – 3B Sifuentes – 1B D. Cruz – RF S. Martin – LF Caldwell – C Canas – 2B V. Acosta – P Sutherland
POR: SS Castro – CF Nettles – 3B Jimenez – 1B Maldonado – C Sieber – 2B Gutierrez – LF de Wit – RF Waltz – P Jackson

Jackson retired the Bayhawks in order until yielding a single to the opposing pitcher Sutherland in the third inning. Gonzalez also singled, but Mike Hall grounded out to end the top 3rd. The Raccoons had no hits until the third inning, either, with Waltz reaching to begin the inning on an infield roller. He stole second, then reached third when Jackson bunted his way to two strikes, then hit a single on 2-2. Castro gave the Raccoons a 1-0 lead, albeit with a 4-6-3 double play… Nettles walked and stole second, but was left aboard when Jimenez grounded out.

Jackson was spinning a great game, needing all of 38 pitches through 4.1 innings – and then the rain returned. A lengthy rain delay would knock out Sutherland (who threw 59 pitches in four innings), while Jackson returned after another hour-long break and got the last two outs in the fifth in strikeout fashion, but rapidly lost velocity and location in the sixth inning and was hauled in after the Baybirds somehow went down 1-2-3 anyway. The score was still 1-0 at that point, and Nelson Moreno didn’t blow it either in the seventh … in part because his arm fell off and he was collected by Dr. Padilla. Was it time for the season’s first Capt’n Coma? Zack Kelly collected the final out in the seventh instead of Moreno, who was too busy wincing, then pitched a 1-2-3 in the eighth. The Raccoons got Castro on as the leadoff man in the eighth, but stranded him at second, then went back to Rella, who had struggled mightily in a non-save situation a couple days back. He walked PH Dave Martinez on four pitches to get the ninth underway, which made for such a cozy feeling. Brito struck out hitting in the #1 hole, and Hall grounded to short, but the Coons only got the lead runner, bringing up Sifuentes (.379, 2 HR, 7 RBI) with two outs. At least a righty batter! Pop behind third base, Jimenez back – ballgame and a slow-motion sweep! 1-0 Blighters! Waltz 1-2, BB; Jackson 6.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 6 K, W (2-0) and 1-2;

In other news

April 8 – PIT SP Jonathan Dykstra (1-0, 0.00 ERA) 3-hits the Capitals in a 6-0 shutout.
April 8 – 19-year-old Falcons phenom OF Miguel Martinez (.714, 0 HR, 5 RBI) bats for five base hits in a 15-6 blowout of the Knights; three singles in regulation, and a triple and a single in the 11th inning in which the Knights come completely unglued. Martinez drives in five runs with his heroics.
April 10 – The Blue Sox lead 9-2 against the Scorpions in the third inning, yet manage to lose the game, 11-10, with an epic meltdown in the sixth that costs them a 6-run lead at that point.
April 11 – LAP OF Aaron Foss (.333, 1 HR, 6 RBI) has five hits and three RBI, missing the cycle by the home run in a 7-3 win over the Miners.

FL Player of the Week: NAS 3B/SS Brad Critzer (.360, 4 HR, 10 RBI)
CL Player of the Week: VAN OF Jerry Outram (.609, 1 HR, 6 RBI)

Complaints and stuff

In case you wondered, yes, we’re absolutely last in runs scored. But we’re also 4-2 for the time being (with a -2 run differential) and with a defensive efficiency that is so good (.764) that it qualifies as writing on the wall. I mused above that we might end up with more stolen bases than homers and wins combined. Right now it’s true, 8 steals over 2 homers and 4 wins.

Carreno leads the team in OPS and strikeouts. There are high hopes for the kid. There’s also a .533 BABIP on that kid. I don’t know.

Not having Manny never helps, and the bad back might yet bother him all of next week. No idea what’s wrong with Moreno other than he customarily sucks and makes me sad.

Angelo Montano and Travis Sims went unclaimed and arrived in St. Petersburg once more. We are so relieved and so surprised.

Next week, one more home series against the Falcons, off day on Thursday, then the start of the first road trip, which will get us into Boston and Milwaukee.

Fun Fact: Jerry Outram has five straight seasons with an OPS over 1, leading the CL four times in the same span.

And he would have led it five times out of five if not for missing 87 games with injuries in 2039. He won the batting title every year in 2038 and 2040-42, led the league in OBP, OPS, and WAR. He also took home all the decorative vases given out to the Player of the Year in those four years. He’s a terrible menace, a career .341/.445/.544 hitter that strikes fear into your heart every time, two weeks in advance.

At least he was a #1 pick and we didn’t select three Travis Simses before the damn Elks happened across him in the fifth round….