[Westheim]

Raccoons (64-79) vs. Loggers (67-77) – September 13-15, 2050

Garbage playoffs continued with the final 3-game set against the Loggers, also opening the final homestand of the year. They were third in runs scored (!?) and second from the bottom in runs allowed by this point. We had clinched the season series already, 10-5; it was just all those other teams we couldn’t ******* beat.

Projected matchups:
Victor Merino (5-16, 4.23 ERA) vs. Victor Padilla (12-11, 4.17 ERA)
Bubba Wolinsky (5-13, 4.17 ERA) vs. Noah Hollis (12-15, 4.48 ERA)
Victor Salcido (12-7, 3.68 ERA) vs. John Morrill (10-11, 4.59 ERA)

Probably only one southpaw opponent here in the opener.

Game 1
MIL: CF de Lemos – LF J. Delgado – SS Z. Suggs – 2B R. Lopez – RF McIntyre – 3B N. Jackson – 1B Lovell – C C. Thomas – P V. Padilla
POR: SS Lavorano – CF Lamotta – 1B Maldonado – 3B Waters – LF Puckeridge – C Gonzalez – 2B Castner – RF Samples – P Merino

Milwaukee lost Padilla to injury by the third inning, although they were up 2-0 at that point. Merino faced six in the first two innings, but then found another pot of lard to step into and get stuck in by the top of the third, which Pat Lovell and Chris Thomas opened with singles. Lovell made for third on the latter’s single to right, Adam Samples grossly threw that ball away, and a run scored, while Thomas advanced to second. Padilla moved Thomas to third, and that run scored on a wild pitch. Pat Lovell would add a 2-run double with two outs in the fourth inning, while in the fifth the Loggers loaded the bases with a walk, a single, and a Lonzo error, but Merino then sort of miraculously struck out both Will McIntyre and Nick Jackson to keep the bags full. He pitched six innings of 5-hit, 4-run ball, which also hinted at rotten luck, which we had enjoyed absolutely plenty of all year long, but on the other paw he was also 4-0 behind when pinch-hit for to begin the bottom 6th because the entire damn team had yet to land a single hit against Padilla and the ramshackle Loggers pen.

Watt singled off Roberto Oyola in Merino’s spot to break into the H column to begin the bottom 6th, and Lonzo doubled to right. Lamotta hit a shy RBI single, putting the tying run in the box. Maldo was hit on 1-2, and with three on and nobody out, Waters popped out in foul territory, and Puckeridge hit into a double play. (deep sigh) Watt and Lonzo were on base again to begin the bottom 8th, but the team croaked way faster this time around. Lamotta popped out, Watt was caught stealing third base, and Maldo whiffed. Lovell added a homer for the Loggers against Lillis, and that was that in the ninth. 5-1 Loggers. Lavorano 2-4, 2B; Watt (PH) 1-1, BB;

The Loggers slotted righty Josh Costello (2-0, 2.25 ERA) into the middle game. Not that it mattered. We couldn’t hit against anybody.

Game 2
MIL: CF de Lemos – LF J. Delgado – SS Z. Suggs – 2B R. Lopez – 1B C. Lowe – RF McIntyre – 3B N. Jackson – C C. Thomas – P Costello
POR: SS Lavorano – 3B Crispin – 1B Maldonado – 2B Waters – CF Puckeridge – C Gonzalez – LF Watt – RF Sivertson – P Wolinsky

The Loggers nicked Lonzo to begin the Coons’ day of batting on Wednesday, and he took it personally, swiping base #57 on the year and scoring on a Crispin single right away for a quick 1-0 lead. Wolinsky knew how to get rid of it expertly, however, putting Ricky Lopez and Nick Jackson on with a walk and single, respectively, in the top 2nd, then gave up a score-flipping, 2-out, 2-run double to Chris Thomas, a wallbanger in dead center. The Coons countered with a Ruben Gonzalez walk opening the bottom 2nd, then a Watt single. Sivertson crammed a ball into the rightfield corner for a 2-run triple, flipping the score right back Portland’s way, with a Lonzo single with one out bringing in Sivertson for an extra run, 4-2. Challenge accepted, thought Wolinsky. The 1-2-3 Loggers opened the top 3rd with straight singles, scoring one run on Zach Suggs’ single, but what sugged even more was Chris Lowe’s 1-out double, which flipped the score for the third time in the game, and it was THE THIRD ******* INNING.

Wolinsky didn’t get out of the fourth, leaving with runners on the corners. Landeta walked the bags full with Suggs in a full count, then walked Lopez in a full count to push home Chris Thomas with a run, 6-4. Chris Lowe popped out, somehow, ending the ******* inning. To my even greater annoyance, Maud had already scrambled and hidden every bottle of cleaning agent I could have possibly gotten my paws on to spice my Capt’n Coma.

Danny Landeta coughed up a run, but at least his tenure was three weeks from ending. Matt Waters found Crispin (forced out Lonzo) and Maldo (nicked) on base and tripled those home, narrowing the gap to 7-6, but then the Coons stopped hitting for a while. They didn’t reach scoring position until the ninth inning, and then with two outs, when Ed Crispin doubled off Angelo Munoz to put the tying run into scoring position for Maldo, who promptly dished the first pitch he got from Munoz to left-center for a game-tying single. Waters flew out, sending the game to extras, where Eloy Sencion offered a leadoff walk to McIntyre, an infield single to Jackson, and then gritted out a groundout and a K on Craig Sayre and Ernesto Hernandez, in that order, before Preston Porter was called on for a pop to short from Dave de Lemos. Porter also did the 11th, with Alex Flores for the Loggers in his second inning of work in the bottom 11th. Leadoff single by Juan Jimenez, who had pinch-hit for Sivertson and was pinch-run for with Lamotta right away. Van Hoy batted for Porter, grounding out, with Lamotta to second base, then to third on Lonzo’s groundout. Ed Crispin walked, and Maldo, who had extended the game his last time up, now ended it with another whizzer of a single to shallow center. 8-7 Raccoons! Lavorano 2-5, RBI; Crispin 2-5, BB, 2B, RBI; Maldonado 3-5, 2 RBI; Watt 2-5; Jimenez (PH) 1-1; Glodowski (PH) 1-1;

Game 3
MIL: CF de Lemos – 3B N. Jackson – SS Z. Suggs – 2B R. Lopez – 1B C. Lowe – RF McIntyre – LF Wieczorek – C C. Thomas – P Hollis
POR: SS Lavorano – 3B Crispin – RF Maldonado – 2B Waters – CF Puckeridge – LF Watt – 1B Van Hoy – C Raczka – P Salcido

The rubber game began with an infield single for de Lemos, but continued with a strike-em-out-throw-em-out double play. The Coons went up 2-0 in the second, hitting four singles between Waters, Watt, Van Hoy (who got an RBI), and Salcido, but the second run actually scored on a 2-out wild pitch before Lonzo flew out to de Lemos to strand the remaining runners.

A Waters homer upped the score to 3-0 in the bottom 3rd, but that was before Salcido got buried in a landslide. The fourth began with de Lemos doubling to center. Jackson singled, putting them on the corners. A walk to Suggs filled them up, which sugged, and another walk to Ricky Lopez brought home a run. And ANOTHER walk to Chris Lowe…! McIntyre hit a game-tying single (still nobody out by the way), and then John Wieczorek’s sac fly to center put the Loggers on top. Thomas was retired on a comebacker, and Hollis rung up, but the Loggers had plated four to rob me of any sort of emotion once again.

Those four runs would be the only four runs off Salcido in seven innings, because baseball was a cruel Medusa, and the Raccoons’ offense was frozen to stone – minus Maldo, who hit a double at some point before the stretch, stretched a paw awkwardly, and left the game with Dr. Padilla, replaced with Glodowski. Of course, the ordeal did not amount to a tying run. When Ed Crispin hit a game-tying homer off Hollis in the bottom 8th, not only the Loggers were stunned, but it got wickeder in the ninth inning, when Nick Johns nicked Watt, and then got taken well deep by none other than Evan Van Hoy, Destroyer of Worlds. It was a walkoff, again! 6-4 Critters. Van Hoy 2-4, HR, 3 RBI;

Raccoons (66-80) vs. Aces (62-84) – September 16-18, 2050

The season series between these two bottom dwelling teams was even at three. Vegas was fifth in runs scored, but with the worst pitching in the CL, allowing almost 5.2 runs per game.

Projected matchups:
Kyle Brobeck (1-0, 4.58 ERA) vs. B.J. Brantley (10-11, 4.17 ERA)
Jason Wheatley (10-10, 3.79 ERA) vs. Larry Broad (4-16, 5.17 ERA)
Victor Merino (5-17, 4.30 ERA) vs. Dave Saldivar (10-9, 4.28 ERA)

Left, right, left. The Coons countered with young, good, suck.

No, I’m still not calling you “Bro”.

Game 1
LVA: CF Cramer – C Weese – 1B Witherspoon – RF Austin – LF van de Wouw – SS Welter – 3B Coen – 2B Hager – P Brantley
POR: SS Lavorano – CF Lamotta – LF Puckeridge – 3B Waters – C Gonzalez – 2B Castner – RF Glodowski – 1B Samples – P Brobeck

Neville van de Wouw broke up a scoreless tie with a 2-out, 2-run homer in the fourth inning after both teams had been futilely poking away at another the first time through the order. Sam Witherspoon had reached on a shy single ahead of the bomb. Brantley set the Coons up for a chance in the bottom of the same inning, allowing a single to Puckeridge and a walk to Waters, all with one gone, then moved them up with a wild pitch. Ruben Gonzalez wouldn’t have needed no such help, as he blasted a 3-run homer anyway to make it 3-2 Critters. After Castner made an out, the 7-8-9 all loaded the bases with two outs, and Lonzo turned an 0-2 pitch from Brantley into an RBI single to shallow left. Lamotta ended Brantley’s day with an RBI single to right, after which Cory Schilt got Pucks to pop out to short, ending the 5-run assault.

Brobeck continued through six, allowing an unearned run in the final inning of this outing after a Matt Waters throwing error put the leadoff man Kevin Weese on second base. Aubrey Austin singled him home, 5-3. With Witherspoon on base, Waters made *another* error in the eighth inning on a van de Wouw grounder, which put the tying runs on the corners with one gone, and replaced Paul Miles on the mound with Kevin Hitchcock against PH Miguel Colon. The count ran full, Colon hit a sac fly, 5-4, but Hitchcock then got a pop to Waters to end the inning. While Ed Crispin hit a pinch-hit single in the bottom 8th, the Raccoons failed to tack on, and handed a 1-run lead to Eloy Sencion in the ninth inning, in which we expected mostly if not all lefty hitters. Steve Holbrook actually hit a pinch-hit single, right-handed, with one out, then was forced out by Cramer. Sencion hung around to face the righty Weese, batting .311 with 13 homers, walked him, and was then lifted with another righty pinch-hitter up, Jonathan Harris, even though Harris was only hitting .196 with two homers. Willie Cruz got the final out from him, a fly to Watt in leftfield. 5-4 Coons. Lavorano 2-4, RBI; Crispin (PH) 1-1; Van Hoy (PH) 1-1;

Good news regarding Maldonado: he had not done any serious damage to his hindpaw on his fruitless double on Thursday and was day-to-day with a mild calf strain. We’d probably sit him for the rest of the weekend, though, although he was good to pinch-hit.

Game 2
LVA: CF Cramer – C Weese – 1B Witherspoon – RF Austin – LF van de Wouw – SS Welter – 3B V. Fernandez – 2B R. Ramos – P Broad
POR: LF Watt – SS Lavorano – 3B Crispin – 2B Waters – CF Puckeridge – C Gonzalez – 1B Van Hoy – RF Lamotta – P Wheatley

Wheats struggled with the middle of the order, walking two and giving up an Aubrey Austin double in the first inning on the way to conceding a run, while in the fourth it was a Vic Fernandez double to left that was followed by Lonzo’s bumbling of a Rafael Ramos grounder that put runners on the corners. Broad hit into a double play, which scored an unearned run before Brent Cramer flew out to center. The Coons had next to nothing in the first three innings, but then got Ricky Lamotta to double home Pucks and Van Hoy to tie the score in the bottom 4th with two outs. The Aces countered right away with a Weese single and Witherspoon homer to right-center to begin the fifth, though, and restored their 2-run lead… Another 2-spot scored in the sixth inning to knock out Wheatley, who saw Ramos reach on a single, and then Cramer and Weese get 2-out RBI knocks, a triple and a single, respectively. As usual with the starting pitcher roughed up this year, the bullpen didn’t budge nor buckle, but the three shutout innings were for nothing. 6-2 Aces. Watt 1-2, 3 BB; Puckeridge 2-3, BB; Sivertson (PH) 1-1; Lenderink 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K;

Nope, still no Maldo on Sunday.

But Maud made more muffins, maybe mitigating my monstrous migraines…

Game 3
LVA: 1B D. Blair – 2B Villalobos – C Weese – RF Austin – CF J. Harris – SS R. Ramos – 3B Rand – LF van de Wouw – P Saldivar
POR: SS Lavorano – CF Lamotta – LF Puckeridge – 3B Waters – C Gonzalez – 2B Castner – RF Glodowski – 1B Samples – P Merino

Victor Merino sat down the first five Aces, then gave up three runs with two gone in the top 2nd as he conceded a single to Ramos, an RBI double to Matt Rand, and a 2-run homer to van de Wouw… However, the bottom of the same inning saw homers by Gonzalez and Glodowski, and with Castner getting nicked in between, the Raccoons tied the score right away…!

Lonzo and Merino then crapped out collectively in the top 3rd. The latter walked two, the former made two errors, and the Aces scored two runs with the top of the order for a new 5-3 lead. When the Coons made that one up as well on a Waters homer in the bottom 3rd and an unearned run – Merino reaching on an error by Ramos himself before getting doubled home by Ricky Lamotta – in the fourth, Merino just cocked up a few more in the fifth. Leadoff walk to Weese, a Harris double, sac fly, RBI single by Rand, and then another single for van de Wouw. Snyder got the third out in the damn inning from PH Miguel Colon, and the score remained a mild 7-5 in the middle of the fourth.

Bottom 6th, Crispin singled in the #9 hole with one gone before Lonzo grounded to short, but Ramos tossed that one away for his second error in the game. Lamotta flew out and Puckeridge struck out to leave the tying runs on base, though. In turn, Danny Landeta, the useless chamber pot, was slapped around the ballpark for a four-pitch leadoff walk to Austin, then three screaming doubles and as many runs by the Aces in the seventh, ostensibly putting the game away at 10-5. The Raccoons only made up a run again in the eighth on hits by Glodowski and Watt off Josh Henneberry, plus a throwing error by Austin, which was the fourth Aces error in the game, and yet they were winning by a slam… Watt was at second base with one out, but was stranded by both Lonzo and Lamotta. Ponce held the Aces in place in the ninth inning, before Puckeridge grounded out against Henneberry to begin the bottom 9th. Matt Waters then socked his second homer in the game, 10-7, and Gonzalez was nicked. Henneberry was yanked for another righty, Jose Santamaria, while Van Hoy batted for Castner, but whiffed. Glodowski popped out. 10-7 Aces. Waters 2-5, 2 HR, 2 RBI; Glodowski 2-5, 2B, 2 RBI; Watt (PH) 1-1;

In other news

September 12 – In one of the weirder pitching performances, NYC SP Yataro Tanabe (4-3, 4.74 ERA) and three relievers issue ten walks, but only one hit in a 7-1 win over the Titans. Boston’s Jose Rodriguez (.213, 3 HR, 25 RBI) singles off New York’s Neil Hamann (3-2, 3.97 ERA) for the only Titans knock.
September 13 – IND CL John Steuer (1-8, 3.80 ERA, 39 SV) puts away the Canadiens for a 4-3 save, his 300th career save in fact. A 2-time saves leader in the Federal League and 2-time All Star, Steuer has closed games for six different teams, having joined Indy in mid-2049. He is 61-65 with a 3.19 ERA for his career.
September 13 – Bayhawks and Condors go to extras scorelessly before San Francisco unpacks six runs in the top of the tenth for an eventual 6-0 win. SFB SP Kevin Nolte (15-13, 3.96 ERA) goes nine shutout innings and gets the win, but not a shutout since he does not return for the bottom of the tenth.
September 15 – DAL SP Matt Sealock (17-7, 3.52 ERA) spins a 3-hit shutout in an 8-0 win over the Wolves.
September 15 – Batting first, LVA CF Brent Cramer (.343, 15 HR, 81 RBI) drives in six runs on two hits in an 18-3 shredding of the Falcons.
September 16 – Bone spurs in his elbow end the season of NAS SP Zack Stahl (11-11, 4.65 ERA, 1 SV).
September 18 – With a Bayhawks loss to the Loggers and a split in their own double-header against the Titans, the Thunder manage to clinch both the CL South for themselves and the CL North for the Canadiens.
September 18 – MIL SP Victor Padilla (12-11, 4.11 ERA) is headed for Tommy John surgery with a torn UCL and is expected to miss the entire 2051 season.

FL Player of the Week: DEN 1B Raul Sevilla (.311, 14 HR, 40 RBI), hitting .500 (12-24) with 2 HR, 7 RBI
CL Player of the Week: LVA CF Brent Cramer (.342, 15 HR, 83 RBI), batting .435 (10-23) with 2 HR, 9 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Losing record achieved… first since 2042.

Only the Coons can hit four homers in a game and still lose against a last-place team… That’s why they’re a last-place team. They are so bad, they might lose to themselves…!!

(blows)

There’s really not much more to say anymore. We’ll need some creativity this winter to present a watchable product in ’51 for sure. Nevertheless, two or three players will be added to begin next week, with the minor league seasons now over. All our teams missed the playoffs by double digits.

Fun Fact: The only non-minimum player in the top 12 in $/WAR for the Raccoons is Bubba Wolinsky.

…and he makes $455k, hardly highest on the team. 2.2 WAR make him 3rd on the team with $206k/WAR, behind only Salcido and Lonzo.

Crispin, Pucks, Hitchcock, Castner (!!??), Miles (…), Hall (!!), Sencion, Lamotta (waiver claim), and Cruz (hah!) come after that, and only then Gonzalez and Waters start to poke their little knobbly noses into the list.