A tough one to know what to do with given the totally unique arc of his amazing IRL career, but in the end I decided he'd had a fair run and to leave things be when the game called time on him.
Satch leaves the game as its second most celebrated hurler behind only the great Walter Johnson. A 402-252 career record with a 3.33 ERA (124 ERA+) and 143 pWAR, give or take. He is the all-time leader in strikeouts with 4496, a record that might never be broken. Other leaderboard appearances include 837 games played (4th), 5659 IP (4th), 396 CG (8th) and 48 shutouts (13th). He also is tied for the single-season record in wins with 33 (which he did twice) and on his own for strikeouts with 469 in 1928.
He only played for three clubs over his 20 seasons: the Red Sox for 14, the Yanks for 5 and the Giants in 1944.
He won 7 Johnson-Waddells, 6 Championships and was an All-Star 9 times.
In his honour, the Red Sox have retired his #26 and the league has announced that, effective immediately, the annual award handed out for relief work will be known as the Paige Plate.
It goes without saying that he is a first-ballot lock in five years' time.
Thanks for the memories, you legend of the game.