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Keeks137 · 12-18-2022, 11:05 AM

Group A Game 5s

(2-2) Six Outta Fives @ 1981 Cincinnati Reds (1-3)

The Reds need to get things going in order to stay in the playoff picture. Bernie Williams capped off an early Sixes rally with a two run home run to stake their squad out to a four run lead, but like a dog with a learning disability, the Reds have no idea how to just roll over. Dan Driessen went yard for the Reds to cut the lead in half. A series of singles and fielder’s choices eventually put the Reds up by 1. The lead waffled back and forth a bit, but eventually Barry Zito’s ineptitude loses it for the Six Outta Fives highlighted by a George Foster two run home run. Reds are still in it!

FINAL: CIN 8 - SIX 6

(3-1) Diamonds in the Rough @ (2-2) Pittsburgh Crawfords

Pittsburgh got out to an early five run lead, helped along by a home run from the Crawfords’ Josh GIbson, but the Diamonds fired right back with homers of their own out of Paul Goldschmidt and Nap Lajoie, who didn’t take my butchering of the pronunciation of his last name personally, as he’s killing it this tourney. Dr. Death Danny Darwin proves that we may not know what is in a name, but it sure as hell isn’t guarantees that they won’t **** the bed when taking the mound. He couldn’t retire anyone and gave up a second home run to Josh Gibson. The teams beat the crap out of each other a bit longer but the Crawfords always managed to stay ahead, netting themselves a win and matching the top record in the group as Group A is looking to be a nailbiter coming down the stretch.

FINAL: PIT 12 - DIA 9

Group B Game 5s

(3-1) Tucson Too Soons @ (0-4) The Black Sox

Revenge game! The Black Sox have embarrassed themselves this tourney, throwing away games they could have easily won. Last time these teams met, The Black Sox were comfortably in the lead in the 8th and then Charlie Robertson came in and surrendered three straight home runs, one of them being a grand slam. The Too Soons Dave Nilsson puts them down early with a solo shot but then the Black Sox show they’re a huge fan of death via papercuts as they start singling Darryl Kile to death and take a six run lead. The Too Soons say, “Hey, we can do that” and start firing back with a barrage of singles of their own. I’ve been in strip clubs with fewer singles. The Too Soons pull it back to within two, but Byrd Lynn, the backup catcher for the Sox that somehow got the start, racks up his third RBI of the day to put the Sox up for good in the eighth. It’s an upset and The Black Sox are finally on the board after soiling their trousers for the first four games.

FINAL: SOX 9 - TUC 5

(4-0) Club Snub @ (1-3) ‘94 Montreal Expos

That win by the Black Sox keeps the Expos alive but they’re going to need a win here. Club Snub appears to be getting bored as they decide to go with the opener strategy and start Dan Quisenberry. Why not. The Snubs lend some credence to traditional starting pitchers being a horrible idea because Jim Edmonds hits a 2 run homer, putting the Snubs up early and really, that’s all they needed. They eventually took a 7-1 run lead on the strength of a 4-5 Todd Helton performance that included a home run and finish this one out with a four run victory.

FINAL: SNUB 8 - MON 4

Group A Game 6s

(3-2) Pittsburgh Crawfords @ (2-3) Six Outta Fives

Playoffs are on the line here. The Sixes need to win by at least 4 here to hurdle the Crawfords in the standings and make it into the postseason. Tall task as the Crawfords have their ace going in Satchel Paige. He keeps the Sixes off the board until the 6th, but the first run he surrenders in the tourney is a game tying home run out of Alfonso Soriano. Gaylord Perry took the mound for the Sixes and is proving to be just as good as Satchel in this one as that 1-1 mark lasts until the ninth. In a crucial moment, Alex Gordon completely makes up for the 38 million dollars he made in 2016-2017 while playing like a AAA level ballplayer by throwing out a man at third with one out, which leads us to extras. Which means, the only way the Sixes can advance to the playoffs is with a walk off grand slam. And… AND… they don’t get it. In fact the Crawfords win this to put pressure on the Diamonds in the Rough when it comes to home field advantage in the first round.

FINAL: PIT 3 - SIX 1

(3-2) Diamonds in the Rough @ (2-3) Cincinnati Reds

So, the Diamonds need a win here to maintain their top spot in the group and home field for the playoffs. There’s also the outside chance that the Reds win by 15 and straight up steal the playoff spot from them. I’ve seen weirder things happen, but I’ve usually been on mushrooms when doing so. The Reds get 3 runs in the first. Anyone nervous yet? Well you shouldn’t be. The Reds put up a hell of an effort, supported by home runs out of George Foster and Ray Knight which got them the win, but it wasn’t the massive win they needed.

FINAL: CIN 7 - DIA 2

So The Crawfords lock up the 1 seed while the Diamonds in the Rough will have to go on the road for the first round of the playoffs.

Group B Game 6s

(1-4) Black Sox @ (1-4) ‘94 Montreal Expos

It’s our farewell matchup as neither of these teams will be making the postseason, but they’ll be telling themselves that pride of a not-last is on the line, even if we know differently. Pedro Martinez is taking the mound for the Expos which should give them a great chance. He was pitching like you would expect Pedro to be pitching as we still had a scoreless game in the sixth as the Black Sox’s Eddie Cicotte was also fantastic. Shoeless Joe Jackson unties it with a two run bomb, his first of the tourney. Just like he did in the 1919 World Series, he’s putting up fantastic numbers in the Dugs tournament, hitting .378 and knocking in 7. Mel Rojas comes in to relieve Pedro but is little help. A two run double by the Sox’s Buck Weaver makes it 5-0 and locks it up. The Expos do get a three run home run from Lenny Webster in the 9th, but that is where the rally ends.

FINAL: SOX 5 - MON 3

(5-0) Club Snub @ (3-2) Tucson Too Soons

Club Snub’s looking to make history and go undefeated in the Group Stage. Unfortunately they ran into Smoky Joe Wood who’s been dominant. He didn’t give up a run in his first appearance and he wouldn’t give up one here either as he went eight scoreless. It’s still a game however, as The Too Soons only managed a single run through 7. Too Soons’ Tony Conigliaro does something about that, going yard for the 4th time in the tourney and getting his 8th RBI which is tops among all hitters. In maybe the greatest redemption story of the tourney, Rick Ankiel came in to close it out for his tourney-leading third save. He has nipped the yips.

FINAL: TUC 3 - SNUB 0

So we have our playoff matchups. It’ll be Tucson hitting the road to take on the Pittsburgh Crawfords while Club Snub hosts the Diamonds in the Rough.

12-18-2022, 11:05 AM	#5
Keeks137 Bat Boy Join Date: Apr 2017 Posts: 17	Part 3 Group A Game 5s (2-2) Six Outta Fives @ 1981 Cincinnati Reds (1-3) The Reds need to get things going in order to stay in the playoff picture. Bernie Williams capped off an early Sixes rally with a two run home run to stake their squad out to a four run lead, but like a dog with a learning disability, the Reds have no idea how to just roll over. Dan Driessen went yard for the Reds to cut the lead in half. A series of singles and fielder’s choices eventually put the Reds up by 1. The lead waffled back and forth a bit, but eventually Barry Zito’s ineptitude loses it for the Six Outta Fives highlighted by a George Foster two run home run. Reds are still in it! FINAL: CIN 8 - SIX 6 (3-1) Diamonds in the Rough @ (2-2) Pittsburgh Crawfords Pittsburgh got out to an early five run lead, helped along by a home run from the Crawfords’ Josh GIbson, but the Diamonds fired right back with homers of their own out of Paul Goldschmidt and Nap Lajoie, who didn’t take my butchering of the pronunciation of his last name personally, as he’s killing it this tourney. Dr. Death Danny Darwin proves that we may not know what is in a name, but it sure as hell isn’t guarantees that they won’t **** the bed when taking the mound. He couldn’t retire anyone and gave up a second home run to Josh Gibson. The teams beat the crap out of each other a bit longer but the Crawfords always managed to stay ahead, netting themselves a win and matching the top record in the group as Group A is looking to be a nailbiter coming down the stretch. FINAL: PIT 12 - DIA 9 Group B Game 5s (3-1) Tucson Too Soons @ (0-4) The Black Sox Revenge game! The Black Sox have embarrassed themselves this tourney, throwing away games they could have easily won. Last time these teams met, The Black Sox were comfortably in the lead in the 8th and then Charlie Robertson came in and surrendered three straight home runs, one of them being a grand slam. The Too Soons Dave Nilsson puts them down early with a solo shot but then the Black Sox show they’re a huge fan of death via papercuts as they start singling Darryl Kile to death and take a six run lead. The Too Soons say, “Hey, we can do that” and start firing back with a barrage of singles of their own. I’ve been in strip clubs with fewer singles. The Too Soons pull it back to within two, but Byrd Lynn, the backup catcher for the Sox that somehow got the start, racks up his third RBI of the day to put the Sox up for good in the eighth. It’s an upset and The Black Sox are finally on the board after soiling their trousers for the first four games. FINAL: SOX 9 - TUC 5 (4-0) Club Snub @ (1-3) ‘94 Montreal Expos That win by the Black Sox keeps the Expos alive but they’re going to need a win here. Club Snub appears to be getting bored as they decide to go with the opener strategy and start Dan Quisenberry. Why not. The Snubs lend some credence to traditional starting pitchers being a horrible idea because Jim Edmonds hits a 2 run homer, putting the Snubs up early and really, that’s all they needed. They eventually took a 7-1 run lead on the strength of a 4-5 Todd Helton performance that included a home run and finish this one out with a four run victory. FINAL: SNUB 8 - MON 4 Group A Game 6s (3-2) Pittsburgh Crawfords @ (2-3) Six Outta Fives Playoffs are on the line here. The Sixes need to win by at least 4 here to hurdle the Crawfords in the standings and make it into the postseason. Tall task as the Crawfords have their ace going in Satchel Paige. He keeps the Sixes off the board until the 6th, but the first run he surrenders in the tourney is a game tying home run out of Alfonso Soriano. Gaylord Perry took the mound for the Sixes and is proving to be just as good as Satchel in this one as that 1-1 mark lasts until the ninth. In a crucial moment, Alex Gordon completely makes up for the 38 million dollars he made in 2016-2017 while playing like a AAA level ballplayer by throwing out a man at third with one out, which leads us to extras. Which means, the only way the Sixes can advance to the playoffs is with a walk off grand slam. And… AND… they don’t get it. In fact the Crawfords win this to put pressure on the Diamonds in the Rough when it comes to home field advantage in the first round. FINAL: PIT 3 - SIX 1 (3-2) Diamonds in the Rough @ (2-3) Cincinnati Reds So, the Diamonds need a win here to maintain their top spot in the group and home field for the playoffs. There’s also the outside chance that the Reds win by 15 and straight up steal the playoff spot from them. I’ve seen weirder things happen, but I’ve usually been on mushrooms when doing so. The Reds get 3 runs in the first. Anyone nervous yet? Well you shouldn’t be. The Reds put up a hell of an effort, supported by home runs out of George Foster and Ray Knight which got them the win, but it wasn’t the massive win they needed. FINAL: CIN 7 - DIA 2 So The Crawfords lock up the 1 seed while the Diamonds in the Rough will have to go on the road for the first round of the playoffs. Group B Game 6s (1-4) Black Sox @ (1-4) ‘94 Montreal Expos It’s our farewell matchup as neither of these teams will be making the postseason, but they’ll be telling themselves that pride of a not-last is on the line, even if we know differently. Pedro Martinez is taking the mound for the Expos which should give them a great chance. He was pitching like you would expect Pedro to be pitching as we still had a scoreless game in the sixth as the Black Sox’s Eddie Cicotte was also fantastic. Shoeless Joe Jackson unties it with a two run bomb, his first of the tourney. Just like he did in the 1919 World Series, he’s putting up fantastic numbers in the Dugs tournament, hitting .378 and knocking in 7. Mel Rojas comes in to relieve Pedro but is little help. A two run double by the Sox’s Buck Weaver makes it 5-0 and locks it up. The Expos do get a three run home run from Lenny Webster in the 9th, but that is where the rally ends. FINAL: SOX 5 - MON 3 (5-0) Club Snub @ (3-2) Tucson Too Soons Club Snub’s looking to make history and go undefeated in the Group Stage. Unfortunately they ran into Smoky Joe Wood who’s been dominant. He didn’t give up a run in his first appearance and he wouldn’t give up one here either as he went eight scoreless. It’s still a game however, as The Too Soons only managed a single run through 7. Too Soons’ Tony Conigliaro does something about that, going yard for the 4th time in the tourney and getting his 8th RBI which is tops among all hitters. In maybe the greatest redemption story of the tourney, Rick Ankiel came in to close it out for his tourney-leading third save. He has nipped the yips. FINAL: TUC 3 - SNUB 0 So we have our playoff matchups. It’ll be Tucson hitting the road to take on the Pittsburgh Crawfords while Club Snub hosts the Diamonds in the Rough. Last edited by Keeks137; 12-18-2022 at 11:07 AM.