[Westheim]

Raccoons (2-4) @ Thunder (2-4) – April 14-16, 2053

The Raccoons entered with a +3 run differential, but the same record as the Thunder and their -8 run differential. They had bled runs like crazy during Opening Week, with a 7.07 ERA on their rotation. That would surely tug itself back to a sensible value soon, so could the anemic Raccoons score a few runs before that happened? We had not won a (regular, tee-hee) season series from the Thunder in six years, going 4-5 in 2052.

Projected matchups:
Seisaku Taki (0-1, 4.05 ERA) vs. Alfredo Llamas (0-1, 18.90 ERA)
Rafael de la Cruz (0-1, 3.60 ERA) vs. Zach Boyer (1-0, 2.57 ERA)
Phil Baker (1-0, 2.70 ERA) vs. Mike Zeigler (1-0, 6.43 ERA)

Two right, one left, and probably not seven runs per game for the Raccoons…

Game 1
POR: CF Puckeridge – SS Lavorano – 2B Waters – LF Crum – RF Lopez – 1B Ramsay – C Gowin – 3B Malkus – P Taki
OCT: LF R. Cox – 2B Ban – SS Soberanes – 1B Worthington – RF Harmon – 3B R. Sifuentes – C Adames – CF M. Allen – P Llamas

Nope, the offense remained inept. A Lonzo single was the only hit the first time through, and Ken Crum hit a double in the fourth, but also got himself caught in a rundown halfway to a triple and nobody actually batted with a runner in scoring position until Chris Gowin walked in the fifth, was singled to third base with two outs by Taki, and was then stranded when Pucks floated out for the third out of the inning. The Thunder weren’t that much better; in fact, both teams had three base hits for no runs through five innings. Taki walked Mike Harmon in the bottom 4th, but also picked him off first base again, the first time a Critter had managed that in 2053.

Lonzo hit another leadoff single in the sixth, but was forced out by Waters’ grounder up the middle. The Coons didn’t reach scoring position until Tony Lopez snuck a 2-out single past Ed Soberanes, a feat soon replicated by Harry Ramsay for a 2-out RBI single as Waters scampered around to score. Gowin grounded out, keeping it at 1-0, a score Taki held through seven and two thirds innings before he was knocked out by consecutive 2-out singles to center by Ryan Cox and Jonathan Ban. The Coons went to Kevin Daley right away in a double switch that was already becoming familiar, with Daley in the just-cleared spot of Ramsay, and Pucks moving in to first base as Perez took over center. Perez still couldn’t catch up with Soberanes’ drive to center that fell for a game-tying double, and Taki remained winless, but at least didn’t lose as David Worthington struck out. Daley hung around for the bottom 9th in a 1-1 tie, but allowed straight singles to begin the inning – to Harmon, Ramon Sifuentes, and Jesus Adames. Three on, no outs, no hope? Mike Allen struck out. Luke Burnham grounded to short, with Lonzo firing home to strike down Harmon. Ryan Cox grounded to the right side, where Pucks intercepted the ball and tossed it to the rushing Daley – who dropped the ball, allowing Cox to reach base and the Thunder to walk off. 2-1 Thunder. Lavorano 2-4; Taki 7.2 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 4 K and 1-3;

Seven games into the season, we’re 0-5 in one-run games, and I am already counting the days to the offseason. That’s the spirit!

Game 2
POR: CF Puckeridge – SS Lavorano – 2B Waters – LF Crum – RF Lopez – 1B Ramsay – 3B Crispin – C Philipps – P de la Cruz
OCT: LF R. Cox – 2B Ban – SS Soberanes – 1B Worthington – RF Harmon – 3B R. Sifuentes – C L. Burnham – CF M. Allen – P Boyer

A leadoff walk drawn by Pucks and a pair of RBI singles by Waters and Lopez gave the Critters a quick 2-0 start and many questions about how Raffy would bungle that one. A homer to left by Ramon Sifuentes, whom the Thunder had really, really, really wanted to not be a Thunder anymore this year, in the bottom 2nd was a nice start, cutting the lead in half, but Pucks peskily drew another leadoff walk and Lonzo doubled to left-center to put a pair in scoring position with nobody out in the third inning. Enter the 12-for-79 middle of the order, who all made outs – but at least Waters and Crum both hit sac flies to get the damn runners home for a 4-1 lead. Pucks and Lonzo were on base again in the fifth inning, but only reached scoring position as a duo once Waters grounded out. The Thunder walked Crum with intent, Lopez struck out, and Ramsay grounded out to strand a full set.

Raffy managed to throw 52 pitches in three innings despite allowing only the Sifuentes homer for base hits. He walked a pair – but both were wiped on double plays, and I honestly didn’t have a ******* clue how he kept exploding his pitch count like that. The next three (and Raffy’s last three…) innings saw no Thunder runners beyond Mike Allen reaching on a shy single, and yet that still took him another 46 pitches, giving him 98 in total. Oh well. At least we were still up 4-1…

Make that 4-3 on another Sifuentes homer (…) in the bottom 7th. Jim Larson walked Harmon, then was taken quite deep by Sifuentes for his third homer of the year, and the second in this bloody game. Hitchcock folded as well in the eighth, walking Doug Clevidence in the #9 hole before conceding the tying run on Ban and Soberanes singles. (sigh!) The game just had to keep collapsing from there, didn’t it? Ryan Harmer got the ninth in a tied game, but pretty quickly untied himself from the burden of pitching with a walk to Luke Burnham, and a walkoff homer served up to Marco Ochoa. 6-4 Thunder. Lavorano 2-5, 2B;

Second career homer for the 29-year-old OF/3B Marco Ochoa, who had all of 31 career at-bats to his name.

(exasperatedly waves with all paws)

The Elks were not expected to send a left-handed pitcher against us on the long weekend, so the Raccoons took every left-handed batting regular (Pucks, Ramsay, Crispin (sorta)) out of the lineup against Zeigler on Wednesday. Same for switch-hitting Ken Crum, who led the team with 6 RBI, but not with a .103 batting average. The remaining regulars would get days off during the Elks series.

Game 3
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – C Gowin – RF Lopez – LF Perez – 1B Philipps – CF Suzuki – 3B Blackshire – P Baker
OCT: LF R. Cox – 2B Ban – SS Soberanes – 1B Worthington – RF Harmon – 3B R. Sifuentes – C L. Burnham – CF M. Allen – P Zeigler

More superficially decent, but really inefficient pitching then from Baker, who allowed just two hits to the Thunder, but also walked four amidst many long counts and needed 101 pitches through six innings, and that was already it for him. On the bright paw, he didn’t allow a run, and when Travis Malkus batted for him to begin the seventh inning, he left with a 2-0 lead, courtesy of four straight 2-out singles by Lopez, Perez, Philipps, and Suzuki, the latter two grabbing their first RBI’s of the year, in the sixth inning and virtually nothing else. Malkus singled and Waters walked, but Lonzo hit into a fielder’s choice before Gowin grounded into a double play altogether… The Raccoons boldly stole two innings with Rule 5 pick Alfaro then before handing off the ball to Daley in the ninth. He walked Ed Soberanes to begin the inning, but Worthington hit into a double play and Mike Harmon ended the game with a comebacker to Daley. 2-0 Blighters. Suzuki 3-4, 2B, RBI; Malkus (PH) 1-1; Baker 6.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 4 BB, 5 K, W (2-0); Alfaro 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K;

Raccoons (3-6) @ Canadiens (2-5) – April 17-20, 2053

Yes, yes, kids – the Raccoons were not even in last place at this point – the dismal Elks were! Now, granted, it was early and they had yet to get into the Coons-bashing for the year, which they did 13 out of 18 attempts last season. They had conceded the third-fewest runs in the CL so far (but had also played the fewest games), but ranked absolute bottom in runs scored, with just *13* markers on the board in seven games. I guess that’s where we come in.

Projected matchups:
Victor Salcido (1-0, 0.00 ERA) vs. Juan Ramos (1-0, 2.45 ERA)
Jason Wheatley (0-1, 3.60 ERA) vs. Juan Arrocha (0-1, 4.50 ERA)
Seisaku Taki (0-1, 2.51 ERA) vs. Mario Godinez (0-1, 4.70 ERA)
Rafael de la Cruz (0-1, 2.45 ERA) vs. Terry Herman (1-1, 2.84 ERA)

Only right-handers; no Damian Moreno either, with the runner-up in ROTY voting (to Taki, tee-hee!) in 2052 being off to the DL with a sprained wrist already.

Game 1
POR: RF Puckeridge – SS Lavorano – 2B Waters – LF Crum – 1B Ramsay – C Gowin – CF Perez – 3B Malkus – P Salcido
VAN: C Julio Diaz – SS Mullen – 2B Aparicio – RF K. Hawkins – CF Burkhart – 1B Wheeler – LF T. Turner – 3B Guillory – P Ju. Ramos

Salcido struck out four the first time through the order again, but also gave up a home run to Tony Aparicio and a triple to Tim Burkhart, who scored on Tim Turner’s sac fly for a 2-0 lead for the damn Elks by the second inning. I opened a bottle of Capt’n Coma right away and dug myself deeper into the trusty brown couch in the office, even though Maud protested that we’d still get a visit from our insurance agent. Why’d that be a problem, Maud? – Will the ballpark’s premiums go up just because I sit here, bsss, with my tail rings disheveled, and cuss out the suckers playing baseball in the frozen tundra, wrongly?

37-year-old Juan Ramos retired the first eight Critters in order before getting taken deep by Victor Salcido, which I admit made me snicker. Not for long though – the next Coons hit to leave the infield (Pucks hit an infield single after the Salcido homer, but was stranded) was a single by … Salcido, and led nowhere, because the rest of the team was in a collective coma. Crum walked and Ramsay singled with two outs in the sixth, but Kyle Hawkins easily caught a fly to right by Chris Gowin to strand the two runners. The score remained 2-1 through six, with Salcido whiffing up eight Elks against four hits, but I somehow couldn’t shake the impression that he looked like dog poo on the mound. Maybe he was pitching so awfully, none of the pro batters up there had seen anything like it since high school, and that was catching them off guard.

Top 7th, a Perez single, stolen base – two for the year, and the whole team, yay! – and then a bad throw on a Malkus grounder for FL veteran Landon Guillory put runners on the corners with nobody out. The Coons had Salcido bat and whiff, but Pucks then hit a fly to deep center that stretched away from Tim Burkhart for an RBI double, tying the score at two. Malkus scored on a passed ball charged to Julio Diaz, but none of the following batters could do anything with the other runner in scoring position… and when Salcido resumed pitching, he put Jeff Wheeler and Adam Magnussen on the corners and before long gave up a pinch-hit, score-flipping, wallbanger double to Kenny Leon, 4-3. After his exit, stage left, Vic Flores nailed Diaz with an 0-2 pitch, and Jim Larson gave up another 2-run double to Dan Mullen. 6-3 Canadiens. Puckeridge 2-5, 2B, RBI; Perez 2-4, 2B;

What a team. What a bunch!

Game 2
POR: CF Puckeridge – SS Lavorano – C Gowin – LF Crum – RF Lopez – 1B Ramsay – 3B Crispin – 2B Malkus – P Wheatley
VAN: 1B Wheeler – SS Mullen – 2B Aparicio – RF Magnussen – CF Burkhart – LF T. Turner – 3B K. Leon – C Julio Diaz – P Arrocha

Offense remained poor on either side to begin the Friday game; both teams had only one base hit in the first three innings, and when Ken Crum and Tony Lopez rolled a pair of shy singles through seams on the infield with two outs in the fourth, and Harry Ramsay followed that up with a loud smack, he did so on the ground and right at Jeff Wheeler for the third out in the inning. Dan Mullen then opened the bottom 4th with a single to left. Aparicio walked in a full count, and Magnussen ripped an RBI double to right. Oh well, here we – oh, no wait… - yep, Burkhart with a 3-piece to right-center. And that was another ballgame.

(grabs Honeypaws tighter and sheds a few tears)

The Coons answered with three in the fifth inning; Crispin and Malkus reached base leading off before being bunted onwards by Wheats. Pucks struck out, which was to my great dismay, but Lonzo drove in the runners with a single to center, reached second on Burkhart’s throw to home plate, then scored on Gowin’s single to left. Crum also singled, and so did Lopez, but of course Gowin was then thrown out at home plate to end the inning… The game lingered from there until Jim Larson got the ball with one out and nobody on in the bottom 7th and loaded the bases with gross ineptitude. Vic Flores replaced him with three on and two out and whiffed Magnussen to bail out of the jam. Ken Crum’s 1-out double put the tying run in scoring position in the eighth inning against Leo Iniguez, but Lopez grounded out and Waters, batting for Ramsay, did the same trick. It was still a one-run game in the ninth inning against Bernardino Risso, but now we had the bottom of the pack come up and there was no reason not to dive deeper into this bottle of throatburn here. The southpaw flew out Blackshire, but walked Malkus, which put the tying run on board. Philipps pinch-hit for the pitcher, hit a fly to left, and ancient ex-Coon Mike Preble flubbed the ball for an error. Oh come on, boys! But now…! Pucks at the plate! And a drive to right! Get up! Get up! Get up! The stupid thing didn’t get up, but it clanked off the fence for an RBI double, which tied the game and delayed defeat for the time being. Lonzo’s sac fly and a Gowin single even made it a 6-4 lead for Daley to mess with! … And messing he did. Gave up a homer to Julio Diaz right away, then walked Preble, and Wheeler, too. Dan Mullen ended the farce with a 3-piece over the fence in left. 8-6 Canadiens. Lavorano 2-4, 3 RBI; Gowin 2-5, 2 RBI; Crum 3-5, 2B; Lopez 2-4;

Why?

Why?

Just… Why?

Game 3
POR: CF Puckeridge – 3B Crispin – SS Waters – LF Crum – RF Lopez – 1B Ramsay – C Philipps – 2B Malkus – P Taki
VAN: 1B Wheeler – SS Mullen – 2B Aparicio – RF Magnussen – CF Burkhart – LF Turner – 3B Guillory – C Julio Diaz – P Godinez

I didn’t pay much attention to the game at first because I was busy building a good team out of baseball cards in a box full of bubblegum that Steve from Accounting had brought from the nearest store. None of the cards had ratings, so I just went by which cards had the most sparkle effects on them. None of the Coons’ cards sparkled particularly much. Ramsay homered for a 1-0 lead in the second inning, though, and Taki looked sharp through three innings, but Mullen singled and two walks filled the bags in the fourth, even though Tim Turner’s pop and Landon Guillory’s groundout kept the bases loaded. Less luck in the fifth then; Wheeler and Mullen went to the corners with singles, and Tony Aparicio uncorked another one of those 3-run homers that everybody raved about, but the concept was rather foreign to our team…

The Aparicio homer was in fact *it*. Yeah, yeah, it was enough to beat the Raccoons, but it was also his 2,500th career base hit in the majors. The 38-year-old was picking his spots, it seemed. Taki pitched another two scoreless innings in vain, Hitchcock had a 1-2-3 eighth, but the Raccoons could never get their heads removed from their own buttholes and went down entirely meekly. Ramsay had three hits, or more than the rest of the position players combined… 3-1 Canadiens. Ramsay 3-4, HR, RBI; Taki 7.0 IP, 7 H, 3 H, 3 R, 2 BB, 8 K, L (0-2);

I don’t know, Slappy, I like this one. (shows a reddish-orange “All Star” card of Ed Soberanes) – You think the Thunder still wanna get rid of him?

Game 4
POR: CF Puckeridge – SS Lavorano – 2B Waters – LF Crum – 1B Ramsay – C Gowin – RF Lopez – 3B Blackshire – P de la Cruz
VAN: 1B Wheeler – SS Mullen – 2B Aparicio – RF Magnussen – CF Burkhart – LF T. Turner – 3B Guillory – C Julio Diaz – P Herman

Pucks opened Sunday with a double, and locking knees with Dan Mullen upon sliding into second base – Mullen was fine, but Pucks limped off with a bum knee and was replaced with Suzuki. As far as starts to a game went, this was pretty dismal, but the Coons made the most out of it. Lonzo singled home Suzuki, then stole second. Crum then plated him with a 1-out single. Ramsay reached and with two outs, Tony Lopez unleashed a 2-run single to left-center for a 4-0 opening to proceedings, give or take a one-legged outfielder. Raffy had a quick first inning, but by the second walked Magnussen and Burkhart out of the gate, which was far from ideal. Tim Turner found a double play and Guillory struck out, but I saw the writing on the wall already.

But maybe for once he would be fine *and* lengthy? The Elks needed a full run through the order after that just to get their first hit, a Guillory single, and remained 4-0 behind through five innings, and yes, that also meant our offense went home right in the middle of the first. Or maybe it didn’t? Crum opened the sixth with a single off Herman. Ramsay grounded out, Gowin walked, and Tony Lopez added a run with another single. Blackshire was walked intentionally and Herman shanked, after which the pen continued to concede base hits in a massive meltdown, even after de la Cruz struck out. After that, the Raccoons hit a staggering SEVEN singles in a row to explode the score to 12-0 before Blackshire flew out to center after battling Leo Iniguez for 11 pitches…!

From there, several regulars were taken out by the seventh-inning stretch, although the early injury had already reduced the bench to four bums. More astoundingly than the dozen runs was perhaps that Raffy was still pitching in the late innings, needing 96 pitches through eight innings. Now, that was pretty close to his efficient limit, but with a 12-run lead he’d at least get a shot at it, because why not? Actually – Suzuki singled home Crispin in the ninth against right-hander Ben Arner, so the lead was 13 runs by the time Raffy returned to the mound for the top of the order. Second base runner ends his day – Wheeler ran a full count, but struck out on the sixth pitch. Mullen was more cooperative, grounding out to Crispin at third base on just one pitch. Tony Aparicio had the audacity to draw a walk, which brought up ex-Coon Pat Gurney in the cleanup spot. He got cleaned up on strikes! 13-0 Furballs! Puckeridge 1-1, 2B; Suzuki 2-5, 2 RBI; Lavorano 3-6, 3 RBI; Waters 2-4, RBI; Crum 3-4, BB, 2 RBI; Gowin 2-3, 2 BB, 2B; Lopez 4-5, 4 RBI; de la Cruz 9.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 4 BB, 7 K, W (1-1);

In other news

April 15 – CHA SP Chris Jones (1-0, 2.40 ERA) throws a 3-hit shutout in an 11-0 rout of the Canadiens.
April 15 – The reigning FL Player of the Year, NAS 1B Alejandro Ramos (.200, 0 HR, 1 RBI) will miss at least a month with a broken finger. Ramos, 33, batted .320 with 39 homers in 2052.
April 16 – DEN 2B/3B Ivan Villa (.525, 5 HR, 10 RBI) is sure hot to start the season. In the Gold Sox’ 5-4 win over the Cyclones, he blasts three solo home runs, including the 11th-inning walkoff shot off CIN MR Adam Bates (0-1, 40.50 ERA).
April 16 – The Loggers trade RF/LF/1B Chris Lowe (.250, 0 HR, 1 RBI) and cash to the Capitals for MR Franklin Diaz (0-0, 0.00 ERA, 1 SV) and #185 prospect INF/LF Teo de Kok.
April 18 – Capitals OF Neville van de Wouw (.378, 1 HR, 7 RBI) has a 20-game hitting streak that began in 2052 after a solo home run in a 4-2 win over the Buffaloes.
April 18 – The Titans beat the Loggers, 6-5 in 14 innings; both teams score exactly one run in the same inning three times in this game, including once in extras.
April 19 – The Buffaloes whip the Capitals, 10-3, and also end the hitting streak of Neville van de Wouw (.354, 1 HR, 7 RBI) right then and there at 20 games.

FL Player of the Week: DAL RF/LF/1B Dario Martinez (.444, 6 HR, 16 RBI), hitting .462 (12-26) with 3 HR, 10 RBI
CL Player of the Week: OCT 3B/1B Ramon Sifuentes (.356, 4 HR, 11 RBI), swatting .545 (12-22) with 3 HR, 7 RBI

Complaints and stuff

First, the good news – no structural damage to Pucks’ knee, and with a day off on Monday he might only miss one game. But yes, my big black googly eyes were wet for a few hours.

Second, second career complete game, first shutout for Rafael de la Cruz, 22 years old! It was his 57th start in the major leagues. Maybe, one day, I’ll look back and know that it was right to turn down 90 trade offers for him in the late 40s.

I mean we won three rings anyway, how much better could it have gone by trading him…?

We also have a +8 run differential while being bottoms in the division, which was hard to explain to the Salvadoran cleaning lady, who didn’t know anything about beisbol, and I didn’t know what the Salvadoran national sport was after all. Cockfights?

The Coons had Monday off, then would start a homestand with the Arrowheads, Condors, Bayhawks, and Crusaders to take them right into May.

Fun Fact: Tony Aparicio has a 12 All Star Game participations, and if he keeps facing the Raccoons some more, he’ll make it 13 this year despite turning 39 before the month will be over.

While he spent his last few years in the FL, he played with the Falcons for more than a decade. He never led the league in an offensive category, actually, but has a Gold Glove and a few Platinum Sticks while hitting .289/.391/.437 with 240 HR and 1,289 RBI.

Fun Fact (Bonus Round): Liam Wedemeyer hit three home runs in a game for the Gold Sox in 1995.

That was his only season in Denver, batting a brutal .287 with 31 bombs. The Coons showed interest and traded for the 26-year-old Australian after the 1995 season, which also brought in Tzu-jao Ban. Wedemeyer promptly led the CL in home runs in both 1996 (33) and 1997 (24) while everything around him collapsed. Then he collapsed himself, batting a pathetic .195 with 12 homers and 32 RBI in 1998 while also being injured. His OPS plunged 250 points within two years. The Coons let him walk, and so did everybody else, his career in the ABL ending at age 28.