[Westheim]

Raccoons (6-13) vs. Bayhawks (7-11) – April 28-30, 2053

Neither of these teams had grabbed a great start… or even a good start… or one that filled you with confidence that you could reach the end of the season before going completely insane. The Baybirds were in the bottom four in both runs scored and runs allowed, with the second-worst rotation by ERA (5.10), and a -21 run differential (Coons: -6). Acquisition Brent Cramer was on the DL already, but they were hitting .261 and had the most homers in the CL with 15 (Coons: 3…), so they were probably due some better luck on offense. San Francisco had won the season series last year, five games to four.

Projected matchups:
Jason Wheatley (0-2, 4.30 ERA) vs. Ricky Garcia (0-2, 11.70 ERA)
Victor Salcido (1-1, 3.26 ERA) vs. Bob Ruggiero (0-1, 6.50 ERA)
Seisaku Taki (1-2, 2.83 ERA) vs. Milt Cantrell (2-1, 2.48 ERA)

Garcia was a 33-year-old Cuban southpaw that had spent the majority of his career as a swingman for the Pacifics. Not a bad pitcher per se – I totally expected Wheats to cash another 2-1 loss. The others were right-handed.

Game 1
SFB: 2B Montoya – CF G. Cabrera – RF Munn – 1B Witherspoon – LF D. Diaz – C M. Torres – SS Waldman – 3B A. Diaz – P R. Garcia
POR: 2B Waters – SS Lavorano – C Gowin – 1B Crum – RF Lopez – LF Puckeridge – 3B Malkus – CF Suzuki – P Wheatley

Armando Montoya and Gil Cabrera went to the corners with leadoff singles to start a new week, but the latter was caught stealing and the former was stranded with a K to Danny Munn and a groundout by Sam Witherspoon, who in the past had always enjoyed having some coon schnitzel for dinner. The Coons also opened with a pair of singles in the bottom 1st, and Gowin walked, so the bags were full with nobody out. I marked an L in my pocket schedule, but the Raccoons actually plated all three runners; two on Crum’s double to right, and one more on a Pucks groundout.

Of course, Wheatley had the plague and didn’t get the win – but not because the Bayhawks scored off him. He pitched on those two early hits into the fourth inning, but then had to consult with Dr. Padilla and left the game. I whimpered and whined, but it didn’t help – Wheats was out and Alfaro was in, logging the next six outs before conceding a run on hits by Rob Waldman and Gil Cabrera in the sixth. Lillis then entered in a double switch, parking Tony Lopez, to retire Munn and get out of the sixth. He didn’t get out of the seventh, however – Marv Torres and Waldman socked 2-out hits, and Lillis also felt a tweak and left with Dr. Padilla as well. I giggled, but only after I pulled a plastic bag over my head. This time Lonzo left in a double switch to get Ryan Harmer on the mound, and he struck out left-handed pinch-hitter Pedro Colon to end the inning and also dodged the Bayhawks in the eighth. The ball went to Hitchcock in the ninth because Daley had been out two days straight and with rather mixed success. So, Hitchcock got a K on Munn, then loaded the bags with a Witherspoon single (pinch-running: Greg Medina), a Danny Diaz single, and a pinch-walk offered to Nick Roseto. Exit Hitchcock, enter Vic Flores for the left-ha-… or right-handed former Coons farmhand Adam Peltier. He struck out, Colon grounded out, and SOMEHOW the Coons snuck away with a costly win. 3-1 Raccoons. Crum 2-3, BB, 2B, 2 RBI; Malkus 1-2, 2 BB; Wheatley 3.2 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K;

No, Chad. (rearranges the Coons mascot’s wooden cubes with letters on the faces) P-Y-R-R-H-I-C. – It means it cost a lot more than it was worth. – Like Tony Lopez.

(Tony Lopez looks up from his food bowl, visibly dismayed)

No diagnosis was available for Lillis by Tuesday, but Wheats was off to the DL with a biceps strain. There was hope that he’d be back within 15 days. The Coons called up right-hander Mike Snyder to aid the torched pen. No game was played on Tuesday thanks to abundant rain, and a double-header scheduled for Wednesday, but that brought no clarity on Lillis’ injury, and little clarity in terms of the skies. The Coons flipped Taki and Salcido for the double-header, having the better guy go first, but the Baybirds kept Ruggiero in the Wednesday opener.

Game 2
SFB: 2B Montoya – CF G. Cabrera – RF Munn – 1B Witherspoon – SS Peltier – C M. Torres – LF P. Colon – 3B Waldman – P Ruggiero
POR: RF Puckeridge – SS Lavorano – 2B Waters – LF Crum – CF Perez – 1B Ramsay – C Philipps – 3B Crispin – P Taki

Witherspoon doubled off Taki to open the second inning, but was stranded amid five strikeouts in the first three frames for the reigning Pitcher and Rookie of the Year, who also had to give himself a lead, finding Tyler Philipps on second base with two outs in the bottom 2nd and hitting the most terrible duck snort into no man’s land in shallow left-center that ended up with three defenders converging and then scaring each other off, allowing Philipps to score the game’s first run. Bottom 4th, Harry Ramsay tied Matt Waters for homers on the team when he hit his second (…) to right, 2-0. Pucks joined the party with a leadoff jack the inning after, that one to left, and Lonzo narrowly missed, but hit a triple high off the fence. Waters popped out, Crum walked, and Perez whiffed (he had already whiffed to strand a pair on the corners in the first inning), but Ramsay was up to the task and slugged a double into the leftfield corner, scoring both runners to go up 5-0. Ruggiero was over, and Zachariah Alldred restored order by popping out Philipps. While Taki continued to click off Bayhawks batters mostly without issue, Ramsay would come back to the plate in the eighth, needing a triple for the cycle, but struck out against esteemed ex-Furball Victor Merino. Taki got to the ninth well short of 100 pitches, and got Cabrera and Munn with flies to Pucks, then had to wrestle Witherspoon to a full count before completing what he started with a strikeout. 5-0 Furballs! Ramsay 3-4, HR, 2B, 3 RBI; Taki 9.0 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 9 K, W (2-2) and 1-3, RBI;

Shutout on 99 pitches! Second shutout of his career, but the seventh complete game in 38 starts. What a horse!

Yes, Victor, all the relievers are still available for the second game. – Don’t you get any funny ideas here!

Game 3
SFB: 2B Montoya – CF G. Cabrera – RF Munn – 1B Witherspoon – SS Peltier – LF D. Diaz – C A. Mercado – 3B A. Diaz – P Cantrell
POR: 2B Malkus – LF Puckeridge – SS Waters – 1B Ramsay – C Gowin – RF Lopez – CF Suzuki – 3B Blackshire – P Salcido

Again, both teams’ first two batters in the first inning landed hits. The Bayhawks settled for one run on a Witherspoon groundout, but Harry Ramsay was greedy and whacked a 3-run homer to right. The home team then apparently considered this a job well done, because they got only one other base hit through the completion of six innings, and that guy – Gowin – was immediately doubled up by the next wet towel in line. Salcido held the 3-1 score through seven, although he made sure to keep leaking the odd single and especially long flyout here and there just to keep me queasy. Mikio Suzuki singled to begin the bottom 7th, then was doubled up by Blackshire, while Salcido was hit for by Lonzo, but his fly to left was caught by Danny Diaz.

Bottom 8th, Malkus singled over Peltier to begin the inning, then stole second, and reached third base when the ball bobbled away from Peltier. Pucks walked, and a wild pitch and a Waters double both plated a runner. Ramsay was walked intentionally, and the inning fizzled out after that, but the Coons completed the sweep…! 5-1 Critters. Malkus 2-4; Ramsay 1-2, 2 BB, HR, 3 RBI; Salcido 7.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 6 K, W (2-1);

While that sweep was exciting and all, the Coons also got news that Brett Lillis jr. was out with a torn rotator cuff and would perhaps not return before September, if that. Suddenly needing a lefty, the Coons brought up Eric Reese from AAA, but we couldn’t exactly be sure that this was a tenable solution… Reese had pitched to a 5.40 ERA in the majors last year.

There were also only four starters on the roster; the off day on Thursday allowed us to go into the weekend with an extra reliever, however, but we’d have to sort out the roster by Tuesday.

Raccoons (9-13) vs. Crusaders (13-8) – May 2-4, 2053

The Crusaders tied for the lead in the North and had no time to play games with the Coons – they needed the wins. They were third in runs scored and sixth in runs allowed, and had already swept the Critters to start the season.

Projected matchups:
Rafael de la Cruz (1-1, 1.03 ERA) vs. Mauricio Cuevas (3-1, 3.38 ERA)
Phil Baker (2-1, 3.57 ERA) vs. Jeff Johnson (2-1, 5.01 ERA)
Seisaku Taki (2-2, 2.15 ERA) vs. Dave Washington (1-2, 4.78 ERA)

Cuevas was filling in for an injured Jim White, who was probably out for the year. Washington would give us a Southpaw Sunday.

Game 1
NYC: SS O. Sanchez – LF Caballero – RF D. Rivera – 3B Gates – C Kissler – 2B Haney – CF Fellows – 1B Carreno – P Cuevas
POR: 3B Malkus – SS Lavorano – CF Puckeridge – 2B Waters – LF Crum – 1B Ramsay – RF Lopez – C Gowin – P de la Cruz

Raffy kept himself busy with putting a pair of Crusaders on in each of the first three innings, and although they also stole two bases, they scored only a lone run, on Prince Gates’ RBI double that chased home Oscar Caballero in the first inning. Omar Sanchez was caught stealing third base in the third inning, and there was a double play grounder hit by Brandon Fellows in the second to sabotage their efforts. The Coons took a 2-1 lead in the bottom 1st with Lonzo reaching and Pucks hitting a 2-piece to right, then got Waters, Crum, and Ramsay all on to begin the bottom 4th – the dreaded full house, no outs situation. To everybody’s stunning amazement, they scored a whole bunch; Tony Lopez hit a sac fly, but both Gowin and Malkus got singles, plating another three runs on top of that for a 6-1 lead…!

Raffy then promptly croaked by loading the bags with two outs in the fifth with three long at-bats to the 1-2-3 batters that ended in two walks sandwiching a Caballero single, only for Prince Gates to line out to Ken Crum on another 2-0 pitch and stranding absolutely everybody. Instead, hits by Pucks, Waters, and Ramsay added another run in the bottom 5th, while the next half-inning saw three more long at-bats for Aaron Kissler and Mark Haney, who walked both, a K to Brandon Fellows, and finally a first-pitch double-play grounder by Arturo Carreno, whom I remembered EXACTLY like that! That was the end of Raffy, who walked SIX in a 7-1 game that somehow felt like a budding L, all the while Pucks added another run by plating Malkus with a groundout against lefty Josh Jansen in the home sixth.

Jim Larson, last seen being turned inside-out in the 14th inning on Sunday, then got the ball for the seventh, walked Andrew Russ, the miserable ****, to begin his outing, but Russ was caught stealing and the Crusaders kept stumbling over their own feet. Reese got three groundouts in the eighth inning, but Ryan Harmer got three base runners out of four batters faced, of which he walked two, in the ninth inning. Vic Flores had to don pants for *that*, gave up a run on an Omar Sanchez sac fly, and another on Caballero’s 2-out single, but popped out Danny Rivera to get the game over with. 8-3 Coons. Lavorano 2-4; Puckeridge 2-4, HR, 2B, 3 RBI; Ramsay 3-4, 2B, RBI; Gowin 2-3, BB, RBI;

Game 2
NYC: SS O. Sanchez – CF M. Ceballos – RF D. Rivera – 3B Gates – C Kissler – 2B Haney – LF Caballero – 1B Carreno – P J. Johnson
POR: 3B Malkus – SS Lavorano – CF Puckeridge – 2B Waters – LF Crum – 1B Ramsay – RF Lopez – C Gowin – P Baker

Baker got on the snout as soon as he had tied his shoes; Sanchez and Mario Ceballos hit singles, and Rivera’s sac fly made it 1-0 in the first, which continued through another four Crusaders hits and four Crusaders runs, most of the hits being quite sharp and loud. Baker only pitched three innings, giving up two more walks and in between an RBI triple to Caballero in the top 3rd before leaving without batting and down 6-0. Jeff Johnson retired the first seven, then retired generally few of the next seven. Chris Gowin homered to get the Coons on the board – also his first in brown – and a Blackshire double and Malkus single narrowed the score to 6-2. Pucks drove in another run, and Matt Waters homered to left-center, 6-5. Crum walked and Ramsay reached with an infield single before Tony Lopez’ drive to left was nice to look at, but snatched by Caballero near the line, narrowly keeping New York on top.

Caballero also gave the Crusaders some breathing room again, singling home a pair that Mike Snyder, the useless punk, walked to begin the fifth inning. He walked another three Crusaders in the sixth before getting shafted. Jim Larson had Mark Haney at 0-2 before allowing a 2-out drive to deep right, but Tony Lopez – Gold Glover if nothing ******* else – remained on top of that ball and ended the inning with a grab on the move. The Stupid Corps kept digging the hole deeper – Harmer was pitching in the seventh, walked Caballero to get going, and then put on Carreno and Sanchez with defensive misplays, once throwing to the wrong base, and then throwing past everybody with a hat and a glove on the next comebacker. He, too, was kicked off the mound in anger, but Hitchcock gave up a 2-run double to Ceballos anyway. Reese then got the ball in a double switch with the clear intention to pitch the last two innings on garbage duty. He gave up a two walks, three hits, and another two runs in the eighth right away, and issued another walk in the ninth. The Crusaders pen, however, pitched quietly and efficiently, and quelled every threat before it could become a whole thing for five scoreless innings… 12-5 Crusaders. Malkus 2-5, RBI; Blackshire (PH) 1-1, 2B;

New York had 12 hits, 12 walks, and 12 runs. The Coons had … well, nine walks tied up in Snyder (10.80 ERA) and Reese (6.00 ERA), who were both swiftly disposed of, along with Ryan Harmer (10.29 ERA). Big cuts!

Three other ho-hum pitchers were added from AAA: Raul Medrano, Eloy Sencion, and Steve Watson, that toss-in in the Tony Lopez trade.

Y’know, the one that walked everything with and without legs.

Game 3
NYC: SS O. Sanchez – CF M. Ceballos – RF D. Rivera – 3B Gates – 2B Haney – LF Caballero – C Skelly – 1B Carreno – P Washington
POR: 3B Malkus – SS Lavorano – 2B Waters – LF Crum – CF Puckeridge – RF Lopez – 1B Ramsay – C Philipps – P Taki

Taki touched his ERA to a whisker under two with three scoreless to begin the game on Sunday, but also bunted into a double play after Philipps had reached base to begin the bottom 3rd, which then continued with the 1-2-3 batters all filling the bases against Washington. The left-hander ran a full count against Ken Crum and appeared to nip the corner with a sinker that Crum didn’t poke at – but the ump didn’t poke either and Crum, after looking back uncertainly, tossed the stick and made for first base as the Coons took a 1-0 lead, while the New Yorkers were up in arms. Pucks popped out to shallow center to strand the full set, but Crum got another RBI the next time up, grounding out to bring home Travis Malkus from third base, 2-0 through five.

Taki looked like the thing was in the bag through five, offering three hits against five strikeouts. Mario Ceballos then hit a long drive in the sixth that Pucks caught, but which made me wish we’d lead by another run or three more. If only someone on the brown team would oblige! Bottom 6th: Philipps was on base again, and Taki had another bad bunt, this time with an out at second base, but Taki was on with two outs. Washington walked Malkus, then got ahead on Lonzo before hanging the 1-2 pitch. Lonzo huah-bomf!ed the ball well over the 386’ marker in left-center for a 2-out, 2-strike, 3-run homer, and the Coons were up 5-0 …!

Alas, a shutout was not in play this time – technically Taki was going on short rest, and he was starting to miss his spots in the seventh, although the Crusaders didn’t even get on base in that inning, or the next. The Coons were however not going to chance it and lifted him after eight. Also, Philipps reached base again to begin the bottom 8th, and wouldn’t it be nice to not remove him right away, time and again? Suzuki singled, but then Malkus hit into the double play to continue the perpetual Curse of the Travis. Eloy Sencion retired the Crusaders on three grounders in the ninth to grab the series. 5-0 Coons! Lavorano 3-5, HR, 3 RBI; Philipps 2-2, 2 BB; Suzuki (PH) 1-1; Taki 8.0 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 5 K, W (3-2);

In other news

April 28 – 13 innings, zero runs in the Condors-Indians game, before both teams score in the 14th. The visiting Condors prevail, 2-1, on a 2-out, 2-run single by reliever Carlos Castillo (2-0, 3.21 ERA).
April 29 – DEN 2B/3B Ivan Villa (.411, 7 HR, 18 RBI) could miss the entire month of May with elbow inflammation.
April 30 – With two hits in an 8-7 win over the Condors, IND LF/RF/1B Bill Quinteros (.362, 7 HR, 18 RBI) has landed a base hit in every game this season, except Opening Day, or in other words, he had a 20-game hitting streak.
May 1 – OCT SP Alfredo Llamas (3-1, 3.06 ERA) not only defeats the Loggers in a 13-2 rush, but also goes unretired at the plate, 3-for-3, and hits a grand slam off MIL SP Noah Hollis (1-2, 8.77 ERA).
May 2 – Warriors SP David Concha (4-1, 2.23 ERA) hurls a 3-hit shutout to beat the Gold Sox, 1-0
May 2 – As if that wasn’t enough, the Gold Sox also lose LF/CF Sandy Castillo (.306, 1 HR, 16 RBI); the 32-year-old would be out at least two weeks with a case of back soreness.
May 4 – Rebels SP Pablo Paez (0-4, 6.92 ERA) would miss a month with a strained hamstring.

FL Player of the Week: DAL 3B Randy Wilken (.320, 6 HR, 27 RBI), batting .355 (11-31) with 3 HR, 10 RBI
CL Player of the Week: LVA 3B/SS Jeremy Welter (.337, 4 HR, 23 RBI), hitting .522 (12-23) with 1 HR, 11 RBI

FL Hitter of the Month: SAL RF/LF/1B Salvador Montecino (.388, 7 HR, 22 RBI)
CL Hitter of the Month: IND LF/RF/1B Bill Quinteros (.362, 7 HR, 18 RBI)
FL Pitcher of the Month: SAC SP Sean Sweeton (4-0, 2.10 ERA)
CL Pitcher of the Month: ATL SP Matt Weber (3-0, 1.71 ERA)
FL Rookie of the Month: NAS SS/2B/RF Jake Groff (.268, 1 HR, 11 RBI)
CL Rookie of the Month: MIL LF/RF Perry Pigman (.354, 3 HR, 16 RBI)

Complaints and stuff

No Player of the Week for 17 shutouts innings for Taki?? – Maud, we need to call League HQ immediately! – Yes, while I’m still yelling!

First winning week of the season, although I hear the state attorney general is investigating a bunch of fuzzy creatures committing necrophilia on some out-of-state birds. The Bayhawks now had the worst record in the league, and the Coons had something remotely resembling a pulse after a 5-1 week against them and the Crusaders.

Taki had 17 shutout innings and is a delight to watch, but mind-bogglingly it’s de la Cruz, always on the verge of getting yanked in the fifth, who leads the entire league with a 1.11 ERA.

Baseball is wicked, unpredictable, eats little kids, and makes no sense.

Why is Travis Malkus batting leadoff? Well, best OBP on the team, and he even got that batting average over .200 now. It’s not *great*, and he’s not exactly quick ahead of Lonzo, but we’re 4-1 with him leading off. By that logic, we’re also 4-1 since Wheats went on the DL.

It’s also the first time we’re 4-1 since the commencement of the President Mathers administration.

It’s off to the slightly-right-of-center part of the continent now, with a week spent with the Loggers and Cyclones. After that is a 3-day visit home to get murdered by the Gold Sox, and then another 4-city trip out East (mostly).

Fun Fact: 76 years ago today, during the league’s inaugural season, Ben Simon hit three home runs as the Raccoons dropped the Loggers, 9-4.

He was the first ABL hitter ever to hit three homers in a game.

Maud? – How old *am* I…??