Right fielder Alyssa Jakob does a little bit of everything for the Chicago Kingpins. She bats third in the their potent lineup and does so as a switch hitter. She hits to all sides of the field, mashes home runs against right-handed pitchers and bats over .300 against left-handed pitchers. She covers ground well beyond the range of a normal right fielder and has a power arm that has already cut down many a runner who dared seek an extra base on a ball hit in her direction.
Jakob has been vital to Chicago’s success in recent seasons for all she has contributed in the lineup and in the field during Professional Baseball Experience Minor League (MiLPBE) simulations.
She does so much more for Professional Baseball Experience (PBE) user Canthereon.
Cantheron is trans. And Alyssa Jakob is a player that represents Canthereon for who she is.
Jakob is in part an homage to Canthereon’s own personal journey. A journey that Canthereon, beloved member of the Kingpins family, wants to now share with the PBE and the greater OOTP community as well.
For the reader, the italicized portions of this media contain Canthereon’s own reflections on her personal growth, her transition and her experience in the PBE.*
I want to make it clear that the story I’m sharing involves what would largely be considered as trauma. I have learned a lot of great coping methods over the years through being social, internet research and professional help. It’s also quite long winded and takes probably too long to tie into PBE, so judge as necessary. None of what I am about to share seems upsetting to me anymore. I see my life not as before and after transition, but all part of a continuous journey. I do not consider my old name to be a dead name, rather my current name as a preferred name. I have been incredibly blessed to have my wife, friends and family be so supportive over the years, so that support network has always been there for me. It hasn’t always been easy, and it certainly hasn’t been perfect, but my hope is that by sharing maybe some other folks can get something out of it. I’m usually around in Discord if anyone wants to talk, so remember you’re not alone!*
My earliest memory is of wanting to be different. I know this memory is my own since we don’t have this moment recorded on the home movies my family used to take when I was younger. I’m sure the specifics are a bit clouded by time and distance, fickle as memory often is. I convinced my sister (who was 3 at the time) to swap shirts with me so we could show our parents. I don’t have a specific ‘why’ behind the desire other than it made me happy and I thought they would want to see it too. Growing up in the 90s meant I didn’t really have any clue what being trans was outside of Ace Ventura, and that wasn’t exactly a positive role model. I did have lots of examples of drag queens. To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar was a particular favorite, and something I could semi-reasonably emulate.*
I took forays in secret, sourcing what I could as a pre-teen from my sister and mom. They understandably weren’t super pleased when their dresses and shoes would disappear and reappear in my room. My parents weren’t really ones for confrontation, so they just asked me to stop, and I became more careful. Instead of taking things, I would reserve these moments for when the rest of my family wasn’t home. I would use their closet while they were gone and return the items. It felt normal and comfortable. Just lounging around the house, playing video games and then changing back long before I knew they would be home. It helped for sure, but still didn’t feel like enough. It was at this time that I started to incorporate my desires into prayer, hoping that some divine intervention would help me. I started to get a little overanxious when visiting a cousin for a weekend, and was caught live for the first time by my aunt. In my genius 13-year-old mind, I figured my best bet was to pretend I was sleepwalking. The next morning I stuck with that story and essentially begged my aunt to not tell my parents. She agreed, and I was able to continue my stealth exploits. At this point, outside of what my parents and sister suspected, only my aunt knew. I found out later that she actually didn’t end up telling my parents, so mostly it was just an abnormality they couldn’t explain. My mom didn’t catch me wearing anything pretty much up until my high school years.
My parents divorced when I was 12, and we got into a pretty normal routine of swapping living spaces for weekends or weeks. When we lived with my dad, my mom would drop us off, say her goodbyes and I would almost immediately jump into my routine if my sister wasn’t home. On a particular evening when I was 15, my sister got dropped off at a sleepover with a friend, and I jumped right in. I didn’t realize that my mom had stayed behind to talk to my dad, and wanted to say a last goodbye before she left. I threw on a sweatshirt and hoped for the best, but her eyes went wide after we shared a hug. She didn’t say anything in the moment, but the next weekend she asked me what I was doing. I’ve always been a pretty smooth talker, and had learned a few things from random chat rooms back in the day. Avoidance was pretty simple, so I told my mom it was a pretty common thing for guys to experiment with. That seemed to satisfy her curiosity and we moved on. Things came to a head in college.
My wife and I met in my freshman year of college. She was the first person I ever shared my secret with officially. I wasn’t as educated on the matter as I am now, so I basically explained it as a hobby, something I did for fun. She helped me embrace that part of myself, and as I dove in around her, I realized that this wasn’t just something I wanted to do for a hobby. It was something I wanted to do for life. I started sharing with some of my closest friends not only the feelings and journey I had been going through, but how I wanted to move forward. I wanted to get everyone on board before I made a real go of it, so I went to tell my dad. My father has a best friend who has been out as gay since they were in high school together, so I figured he would be super receptive and help me figure out what to do. When I told him, I said that I wanted to start looking like a girl.*
He responded with “OK, but you don’t want to be a girl, do you?”*
In the moment, this shook me. I hadn’t read about this or even thought of the question. My gut reaction was to deny it, and abandon my quest while I tried to figure out my feelings. In the meantime, I started amassing a small closet for myself, while telling anyone who asked about it that I wasn’t sure how I felt anymore.
So from the ages of 19-to-35, I just kind of coasted through life. There’s a huge comfort in masking, and when you’re in the moment it feels like you’re just using positive coping mechanisms. My wife and I got married when I was 26. It was one of the happiest days of my life, but even that day I couldn’t help but think how, even dressed to the nines, I just looked fine, and wished my wife and I could share her experience. I started to dig in more in trans spaces, learn more information, and even started posting on some boards to get more information. As I saw the amount of effort and diversity of thought in the space, the prospect of transitioning just seemed far too intimidating. I figured I had gone this long as I was, so at this point I just needed to be happy with what I had. I immersed myself into my relationship, work, Dungeons & Dragons and friends in general.
Then the COVID-19 pandemic hit.
That first year after lockdowns started was exceedingly rough for me. I had gone to a wedding in Los Angeles without realizing it would be my last live experience with friends for a long time. Losing one of my main methods of distraction made it increasingly difficult to ignore my feelings. I started to supplement that crutch with the gacha game that is Perfect Team. At one point, in late October, the servers for Perfect Team were down. While they were down, a moderator for the OOTP stream named CrazyCaityCat posted that we should use the down time to check out the PBE and sign up. Interested in joining the conversation with some fellow baseball nerds, I dove in with both feet.
In the PBE, players earn ability points – called “TPE” – by completing weekly activity checks, making equipment and training purchases, making successful game predictions, participating in forum games, making short player journal entries, and many other games and activities planned by league leadership. Users invest ability points weekly to improve player skills and attributes throughout their player’s career, hoping to eventually create a player build strong enough to be an All Star, win championships, and potentially earn a place in the league’s Hall of Fame. Players earn money by taking on jobs that give back to the league. Examples include writing media, creating graphics for league use, streaming, producing podcasts. There are also other ways to “max earn”, including gambling PBE dollars on real life and PBE sporting events in the league casino, investing in the PBE stock market, and participating in PBE fantasy (yes, a fantasy league based on user-created player performance during PBE simulations).
For a new user, all of this available activity, and the expectation to keep it up week-to-week, can seem daunting. It did for Canthereon at first, but it soon became a great source for new, and ultimately important, friendships.
Initially, I wasn’t convinced I would be able to keep up with the update schedule, but I quickly became hooked. With my natural social confidence, podcasts came relatively easy, and I was able to pretty quickly amass a solid monetary fund. It became almost trivial when [another user] Dom started co-hosting with me, and I knew I had a friend for PBE life.
The routine couldn’t keep going forever though.
I started to have some admittedly dark thoughts, and knew it was time to ask for real help. My therapist helped me understand that I needed to make a change for myself, that it would be scary and difficult, but I would feel so much better. I made the change socially first, and got everyone to understand how I felt. In the PBE, I started with Dom and instantly got positive feedback.
To further her change, Canthereon began to think about retiring her original player. Under PBE rules, a user may retire their player at any time simply by posting a threat in the retirement section of the PBE forums. A retirement may be revoked up to a certain point, but once a user creates a new player, the retirement becomes final. As she was contemplating retiring her player, Canthereon came out to more PBE users. At that point, she knew she wanted to create a new player that more accurately reflected the transition she was making in her personal life. Her desire eventually led to the Kingpins’ Alyssa Jakob.
Jakob is inspired by Abbi Jacobson’s character, Abbi Abrams, from the web series Broad City, which Canthereon began watching before it was picked up by television’s Comedy Central. The show is based on the real-life friendship between Jacobson and co-star Ilana Glazer, who plays a character named Ilana Wexler.
I watched Broad City online before Comedy Central picked it up, and the exploits of Abbi and Ilana were essentially me if I hadn’t found a lucrative career in call centers but instead stayed on the retail path. It also felt fated that Abbi and I are both 1984 babies. So, Abbi Jacobson became the inspiration for Alyssa Jakob, my current and second character.
Canthereon chose the name “Alyssa” for her player as a way of introducing the new ‘her’ to everyone in the PBE. The name “Jakob” is about Canthereon’s love for the Cubs and is in honor of her grandfather.
Jakob is now in her third season as the Chicago Kingpins’ starting right fielder.
As a rookie, Jakob immediately became a steady presence at the dish. She batted a respectable .279, tallying 113 hits in 405 at bats while hitting seven home runs, driving in 34 runs and scoring 47 times.
In year two a season ago, Canthereon’s investment in Jakob continued to pay dividends. By season’s end, Jakob had posted a .305 batting average, a .811 OPS, and a 3.3 WAR in 108 games. She tallied 11 home runs, 47 RBIs and scored 66 total runs while batting third in Chicago’s batting order.
Through 21 games so far, Jakob is hitting a whopping .375 with a .865 OPS. Her wRC+ is 140, and she leads the minor leagues with 33 singles. She is one of the major reasons Chicago has raced out to an early 14-7 start to keep pace with the seemingly perennially red-hot State College Swift Steeds, who’s 15-6 record is just one game better than the Kingpins’ in the MiLPBE East Division.
As a staple in the Kingpins locker room and someone who has always been close to whoever the general managers so happen to be, I coordinated with the teams from around the league to make everyone aware that as a user I’m a lifelong Kingpin. While not as active as I used to be, it’s been great to see a lot of the positivity that existed when I first came to the team continued, and some of the legacy I helped build exists through rooms I encouraged to get made and activity I helped foster.
Her production and Canthereon’s continuous league activity led to Jakob being selected by the Seattle Sea Serpents in the second round - 21st overall – of the S39 PBE draft. Heading into the draft, however, Canthereon was clear about just how meaningful the relationships she has built within the Kingpins online community – and the desire for her and Jakob to stay a part of her minor league system for longer than may be usual for standard users and their players. Though she will eventually be called up by the Sea Serpents, here is hope that Canthereon will stick around the Kingpins’ locker room where she has been a beacon of joy, kindness, humor and wit. For now, that is Canthereon’s intent.
The easy sell was the minors, but the majors were an entirely different beast. I essentially told general managers that while I didn’t have a specific team preference, I needed to stay in the minors for 5 seasons, and was willing to go undrafted to do so. Apparently, I got a bit lucky as the draft was insanely packed with talent, and picking me up in the second round was a fair bargain for a guaranteed max earner who is loyal to a fault. All in all, the Kingpins have always been great to me, they’re currently under amazing leadership, and they continue to train future generations of general managers as former Kingpins now occupy roughly half of the general manager jobs in the minors. Did I make any of that happen? Not directly, but I’m still glad to be a part of it!
When Jakob does move on, she will leave a monumental void in the Kingpins’ roster. Through two-and-a-quarter seasons in Chicago, Canthereon and Jakob have been a part of a roller coaster experience in simulation baseball, one that has helped grow the strong bonds that exist among teammates.
Chicago was dominant in the 2054 simulation season, Jakob’s first with the club. The Kingpins easily won the East Division with a 63-45 record – earning a first-round postseason bye – and defeated the Louisville Lemurs four games to one in the postseason semi finals. The team thought itself well on the path to ending a 10-season World Series drought and picking up only Chicago’s second minor league championship, and only State College, who had eked into the playoffs with just a 57-51 record stood in the way. But the Swift Steeds trounced the Kingpins in five games, leaving users with players in Chicago lamenting what might have been.
Still, Kingpins users entered the 2055 simulation season with renewed optimism for the team’s postseason chances. When they raced out to a 32-16 record, it seemed their hopes had been validated. However, June began a midseason collapse that never ceased. Chicago made the postseason, but was unceremoniously swept by the Lemurs in the first round, leaving more questions than answers heading into the 2056 simulation season.
So far things have been going well during Jakob’s third campaign with the minor league club Canthereon has grown to love. Chicago is finding ways to win lots of games despite what appears to be an offense that lacks a lot of the power that had fueled it during the 2054 and 2055 campaigns.
The Kingpins rank dead last in the minors for extra base hits and are striking out at the third-worst clip in the league. Despite those deficiencies, they are second in on-base percentage and runs scored, and have drawn the most walks among minor league teams. There remains a belief that power is going to come from the middle of Chicago’s lineup still, and when it does perhaps those elusive championship aspirations will once again return.
Canthereon has aspirations of her own for Jakob, both now and for the player’s future.
I would love to see [Jakob] get votes for Silver Slugger or Gold Glove, and would love for her to walk away with a ring in the minors. There are a lot of folks who created right fielders, but I think she still has a shot at a few records. I’d also like to see her lead the Serpent’s resurgence here in about 3 season!”