[Westheim]

Originally Posted by JackOnAMacYT

Sorry for the Off-Topic post, but I just realized your from Germany. Which might explain you being a Mets fan, because the Mets are a popular choice for fans in foreign markets, at least I think. Also, your english is great for someone from a non-english country! Probably better than mine, and i'm from the US!

Eh, I ended up with the Mets more by coincidence, being bored out of my bum during a week off work during World Series time (c.2009/10-ish). Well, only Wikipedia told me that it was World Series time. I knew nothing about baseball, and mused, well, who won the World Series the year I was born, and found the 1986 Mets on Youtube.

Needless to say that the incessant suffering of the common Mets fan meshes very well with what I do here.

The English has probably gotten better over the years. A few years ago I even gave up insisting that the possessive "it's" was a thing.

Mostly I'm just an XXXL raccoon (active at night, fuzzy, eats everything in sight) and keep being bored out of my bum, so here's the Coons!

+++

(walks into the office on Monday morning and stops dead in his tracks, then paws it back into Maud’s adjoining room)

Maud, who is the man on the trusty brown couch? – You know exactly what I mean, Maud! The young black man with the blonde dreadlocks! – The one that sits where Slappy always sits! Thinking of it, where *is* Slappy!? – MAUD, I NEED MY SLAPPY!!

Maud explained to me that Slappy needed minor surgery for an ingrown claw and that he had arranged a placeholder for the 3-game homestand against the Scorpions while he recovered, his nephew Ja’qoani. I was utterly unhappy, sniffed at the youngster, judged him to be of about single-A age and not ready for the big leagues, and then waggled my furry bum off into the other corner to pretend to work hard on something, but really only moping until it was game time on Monday night. I needed my Slappy…!

Raccoons (20-9) vs. Scorpions (20-12) – May 10-12, 2055

I also needed Kyle Brobeck to get his crap together against the #1 offense in the Federal League, just one game behind the pennant-defending Warriors in the FL West. Sacramento was fifth in runs allowed, with no apparent weakness to their game, except for a tenth place in home runs in the FL. I don’t know, having a .371 team OBP probably makes up for that... They had a +46 run differential (Critters: +43). These teams had last met in 2051, when the Raccoons lost two of three games to the Scorpions.

Projected matchups:
Kyle Brobeck (0-1, 7.18 ERA) vs. Josh Barbieri (3-3, 3.76 ERA)
He Shui (4-1, 2.16 ERA) vs. Ernesto Rios (2-1, 3.35 ERA)
Kennedy Adkins (4-0, 1.12 ERA) vs. Mike McCaffrey (2-2, 3.05 ERA)

Only righties coming up against us in this set.

Maud, I’m not comfortable sitting next to Ja’qoani. I don’t even know him. Maybe he doesn’t take well to my antics…! – Yes, Maud. – Yes, Maud. – Maud, you don’t have to yell so lou-… Yes, Maud, I will sit down and be a darling. – Yes, Maud. My very best behavior.

Game 1
SAC: SS C. Navarro – 3B Burgos – C Weese – 1B Wyatt – RF Colwill – 2B R. Harris – LF Spath – CF Royer – P Barbieri
POR: 3B Venegas – SS Lavorano – LF Brassfield – RF Munn – C Gowin – 1B Ramsay – CF Puckeridge – 2B Waters – P Brobeck

That was the same Chris Navarro that Lonzo was chasing up the stolen base leaderboards, but neither of them reached base the first time through the order, with Navarro grounding out to Lonzo, while Lonzo flew out to Josh Spath after Venegas’ leadoff single in the bottom 1st – both would reach base their next time up, and both would be doubled off. Venegas stole second, and would score on a 2-out single by Danny Munn for an early 1-0 lead. Also a brief one, once Brobeck walked Steve Wyatt and gave up a triple to Rick Colwill in the second inning. Ryan Harris’ groundout flipped the score to 2-1 Scorpions, and I opened the first bottle of Capt’n Coma of the week.

The Stingers had only three hits through five innings against Brobeck, including that silly triple, but he also offered four walks, and was somewhat lucky for the defense making a few good plays behind him, including two double plays, dragging him through five innings. Venegas drew a leadoff walk in the bottom 5th, but was caught stealing this time, and I spontaneously reached for what would usually be Slappy’s right hand next to me, but was now Ja’qoani’s. He didn’t resist as I squeezed it for emotional support, because I needed all of that that I could get. Between Ja’qoani’s paw, a bottle of booze, and Honeypaws on my lap, I could hardly watch as Lonzo legged out a 1-out triple to right-center for what would have tied the game, and been a 3-2 lead one Brassfield grounded out to second base to get Lonzo home, but the Coons had to settle for a 2-2 tie through five.

Brobeck held out until the seventh, which he began with nicking Steve Royer, who was forced out on a bad bunt by Barbieri. When left-hander Pat Fowler appeared to hit for Navarro, we went on to Lillis, who got two comfy flies to outfielders to end the inning. We didn’t get anything of Barbieri in the bottom 7th, but Hitchcock – still co-leading the CL in wins! – pitched a 1-2-3 eighth inning with two strikeouts, which oughta have been the Raccoons’ command to take a lead in the bottom 8th. Brassfield’s single chased Barbie with one out, but Juan Valencia then got the Stingers out of the inning – no win for Hitchcock today…! The ninth saw Gardner retire three in a row, which was weird to see, since he could never do that to end a game, but at least the Raccoons had a chance to walk off with a single run. Ricky Lamotta pinch-hit for Rams against the lefty Valencia to begin the bottom 9th and singled, but Pucks was robbed by Adam Bumpus on a drive to right-center, which was snatched on the run by the replacement outfielder. Waters popped out, Philipps struck out, and the game went to extras. Torizaki gave up a run in the 10th inning on Omar Gonzalez’ leadoff double and two productive outs, RBI going to Jesus Burgos, and now the Raccoons had to find something against Tim Moore. Venegas singled. Lonzo singled! Winning runs on base! Brassfield to right – no, caught by Colwill. Munn grounding to short, and that was gonna end it, 6-4-3 style. 3-2 Scorpions. Venegas 2-4, BB; Lavorano 3-5, 3B; Lamotta (PH) 1-1; Puckeridge 2-4;

(sobs onto Ja’qoani’s shoulder)

I arrived before Ja’qoani on Tuesday and wondered whether he had already fled the country, but remarked to Maud how patiently he was taking my suffering and antics with the Raccoons losing. She mumbled something about maybe that being a family thing and then pretended to take a phone call.

Game 2
SAC: SS C. Navarro – 3B Burgos – C Weese – LF O. Gonzalez – 2B R. Harris – 1B P. Fowler – RF Royer – CF Bumpus – P E. Rios
POR: 3B Venegas – SS Lavorano – LF Brassfield – RF Munn – 1B Ramsay – 2B Waters – C Philipps – CF Cramer – P Shui

I was back in emotional support territory when Lonzo singled and was caught stealing in the first inning on Tuesday night, with rain in the forecast for some point during the evening, so a quick lead would have been desirable, but neither team would reach third base for a long, long time. Navarro and Lonzo both reached base in the fourth inning, and both were doubled off *again* by Burgos and Munn, respectively. Omar Gonzalez hit another leadoff single off Shui in the fifth, but was doubled up by Ryan Harris’ grounder to short before Shui walked the next two, but got a K on Bumpus to end the inning. By this point I was monologuing onto Ja’qoani all the harm the Raccoons had done to me emotionally over the last few decades, starting with that second tie-breaker game against the Loggers in 2020 that was lost by Nick ******* Lester.

The Scorpions took the lead in the sixth when Ernesto Rios hit a leadoff single, advanced on a Navarro groundout, and scored on Burgos’ single to right-center, making Rios not only the first runner to third base, but also home plate in the game. Gonzalez’ 2-out single also brought in Rios, and the Raccoons were 2-0 behind, but put the tying runs on the corners in the home half of the inning on singles by Brent Cramer and Anton Venegas. Lonzo singed Navarro’s glove with a liner for the second out, but Trent Brassfield bashed a 3-2 pitch into the left-center gap and that one finally fell in for a double, and both runners scored, making up the deficit immediately! (puffs Ja’qoani firmly in the shoulder!) Coooons!!

The go-ahead run was left on base when Munn grounded out, though, and the seventh was mostly uneventful. The Scorpions then got Navarro on base with a leadoff single, and he stole second base in the eighth inning. Shui continued with a K on Burgos, but lost Kevin Weese on a 3-2 pitch, the catcher knocking an RBI single to put the Stingers on top again, and Shui out of the game, as well as me grabbing Ja’qoani’s muscular upper arm to sob onto it. Bak got a double play from Gonzalez to end the inning, and the Raccoons got a prime comeback chance in the bottom 8th. Rios gave up a leadoff single to Cramer, then another single to Pucks into rightfield. Steve Holbrook overran the ball, allowing both runners into scoring position. Venegas’ sac fly to center tied the game, but Lonzo lined out again and Brassfield popped out to leave Pucks on base in a 3-3 tie, and I was moping again. Ja’qoani laid his arm around me and promised me that all would be well eventually and that I should cheer up. But I don’t wanna cheer up! I want the Coons to win! (stomps on the floor with a hindpaw!)

Eloy Sencion put the Scorpions away on six pitches in the top 9th, which kept the game tied, while Rios on 109 pitches was sent back in for the bottom 9th. He brushed Munn with a pitch, then gave up a single to Rams. Ed Crispin pinch-ran for Munn once he was at second base. Waters flew out in shallow center, allowing no advance, while Philipps was nearly hit for with Chris Gowin, but was then allowed to hit for himself. He was the last batter of the game, dinking a single into center. Crispin got a great read, went for broke and home plate, and scored handily ahead of any throw the Scorpions might have made. It’s a walkoff! 4-3 Critters! Lavorano 2-4; Ramsay 2-4; Cramer 2-3; Puckeridge (PH) 1-1;

(throws Honeypaws in the air and squeals, then rubs his paws together with glee)

That was fun, Ja’qoani – can we do it again tomorrow??

Game 3
SAC: SS C. Navarro – 2B R. Harris – C Weese – 1B Wyatt – LF O. Gonzalez – RF Colwill – 3B Holbrook – CF Royer – P McCaffrey
POR: 3B Venegas – SS Lavorano – LF Brassfield – RF Munn – C Gowin – 1B Ramsay – CF Puckeridge – 2B Knight – P Adkins

Both pitchers retired the first two batters they faced, then walked another two. While Adkins then gave up a run on Omar Gonzalez’ single up the middle, Chris Gowin drew another walk, and Ramsay stranded all the runners with a pop to Steve Wyatt. **** walks. Hit bombs! The Scorpions were at least getting hits where they needed them. They began the third inning with a Harris single, a Weese double, and then got the runners across with two productive outs to take a 3-0 lead. The Coons in the bottom 3rd had Venegas and Lonzo on base to begin the inning, then made two meek outs again. Gowin drew another walk, I grew restless, and then Rams fell to two strikes before getting nicked by McCaffrey to force in a run. Pucks flew out to Steve Royer, and another three runners were stranded. I flung a few choice expletives at the TV, upon which Ja’qoani slid a little closer to be on the couch, put his arm around me, and asked me whether I thought he appreciated this potty-mouthed language. And to be honest… maybe!?

Lonzo singled home Matt Knight with two outs in the fourth inning; Knight had drawn a leadoff walk, the fifth walk issued by McCaffrey. Lonzo stole second, reached third base when Brassfield’s grounder was mishandled by Holbrook for another error, Munn walked to fill the bases, and NOW Chris Gowin would be allowed to draw another walk, because that would push the tying run home at least. So of course he bounced the first pitch to Navarro for a kindergarten-grade out. The tying run was also left on third base in the fifth inning, by then against the Scorpions pen, with McCaffrey having run out of juice.

While Justin Round and Mike Lane shut down the Critters from the fifth through the seventh, Adkins went eight innings despite various struggles, but was still 3-2 behind when the bottom 8th began against righty Tom Creger. He allowed a single to the only batter he faced, Knight. With lefty Juan Valencia coming in, Ricky Lamotta pinch-hit for the pitcher, but popped out. It was back to a righty, Mike Siwik, for Sacramento, and the Raccoons answered with Ed Crispin in place of Venegas, but he grounded out. Knight reached second base, however, and Lonzo came through with a single to left, scoring Knight with two outs for the second time in the game, and getting us even at three. Brassfield flew out to left, but Tommy Gardner held the Stingers in check in the ninth, but so did Siwik. For the second time in the series, extras, and I was whiney about it, so Ja’qoani suggested that perhaps I should take my nap now. Nah, not before the 16th.

Little happened before the bottom 11th, which began with Crispin hitting a single off Tim Moore, who was in his second inning of work. Lonzo fanned, and Brassfield reached on another Holbrook error. Moore struck out Munn, and Gowin bounced a 1-2 pitch up the middle, but Navarro was on top of it, and the game continued with the 12th inning. Hyun-soo Bak gave the Raccoons three innings from the 11th through the 13th, then was hit for by Cramer to begin the home 13th. Cramer popped out against Alberto Cuellar, but Crispin stuck a triple into the rightfield corner. One out, the W just 90 feet away, and Lonzo batting. Good! Except that they wanted no part of Lonzo and put him on with intent. Then they put on Brassfield without intent, in a full count. Notably, Cuellar was the Stingers’ last reliever thanks to the wild relieveroo in the eighth inning, and they didn’t have next day’s starter up and ready yet. Munn was in the box, hitless on the day. Munn ended the game with a single to center! 4-3 Blighters. Crispin (PH) 2-3, 3B; Lavorano 2-5, BB, 2 RBI; Knight 2-5, BB; Bak 3.0 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 0 K, W (2-0);

That was the last game with Ja’qoani on the couch, because the Raccoons were off to the road for a week, and Slappy would be back the week after, being activated from the DL.

Maud, do you think Ja’qoani can visit us again some time? – What do you mean, “maybe when his day job allows”? What *is* his day job? – Why are you not saying anything, Maud?

Yes, Cristiano? – He’s a counselor at the Willamette Institute for the Limbless and the Blind? For emotionally disturbed children? – What does that have to do with *me*?

(Cristiano rolls off giggling)

Raccoons (22-10) @ Loggers (13-20) – May 14-16, 2055

The last-place Loggers were up 2-1 in the season series, so that was weird. They were also bottoms in runs scored, with under 3.9 markers per game, and a decent sixth in runs allowed, but with a -26 run differential. Gaudencio Callaia was on the DL, so that was not gonna help their offense, either. Maybe it would help our pitching, though!

Projected matchups:
Seisaku Taki (3-1, 2.63 ERA) vs. Tyler Riddle (2-2, 2.98 ERA)
Rafael de la Cruz (2-3, 4.54 ERA) vs. Josh Costello (1-4, 4.91 ERA)
He Shui (4-1, 2.39 ERA) vs. Jeff Fox (2-3, 5.64 ERA)

We had off days on both sides of this series, and the decision was made to take Brobeck out of the rotation entirely until the weekend after. He could do long relief if required, but otherwise he’d get a few starts at third base, f.e. in the series opener against the left-handed Riddle, and maybe also on Sunday against the equally left-handed Jeff Fox.

Game 1
POR: LF Venegas – SS Lavorano – 1B Brassfield – C Gowin – 3B Brobeck – RF Munn – 2B Waters – CF Lamotta – P Taki
MIL: LF B. Rivera – SS Gaxiola – RF Pigman – 1B Worthington – C C. Thomas – 3B T. Edwards – 2B M. Martinez – CF Starnes – P Riddle

Putting Brobeck in the lineup directly led to a 1-0 lead in the second inning as Brobeck opened the inning with a single, advanced on a Munn grounder and a wild pitch, and then scored easily on another single for Matt Waters. Lamotta grounded to short then, with Waters colliding with Miguel Martinez at second base. The ever-brittle Martinez took a knee to the thigh and limped off, but was said to only be day-to-day later on. Miguel Cruz replaced him. Waters was out on the play, and the Coons had the inning end with Taki’s groundout.

Taki was whiffing five through three innings, but three of those strikeouts came in full counts, which wasn’t ideal. He also offered a leadoff walk to David Worthington, the former Thunder, and Chris Thomas added a single. The runners advanced on Travis Edwards’ groundout, and Cruz tied the game with another groundout. Dennis Starnes floated out to leftfielder Anton Venegas to keep the score at 1-1. The bottom 5th began with a Riddle single up the middle, and escalated rapidly from there. Robby Gaxiola singled home the pitcher, stole second (…), and scored on a Worthington double to left with two outs. Then Thomas homered to left. 5-1. And that was basically the whole ballgame. The Raccoons had nothing going, and the Loggers added a run off Sencion in the seventh with Gaxiola and Pigman singles. 6-1 Loggers. Ramsay (PH) 1-1; Gowin 2-4; Brobeck 2-4; Lamotta 1-2, BB;

Game 2
POR: LF Venegas – SS Lavorano – C Gowin – RF Munn – 1B Ramsay – CF Puckeridge – 3B Crispin – 2B Waters – P de la Cruz
MIL: LF B. Rivera – 3B Gaxiola – RF Pigman – 1B Worthington – C C. Thomas – SS F. Vazquez – 2B T. Edwards – CF Starnes – P Costello

Portland went up 2-0 in the first inning on singles by Lonzo, Rams, and Pucks, the latter two getting RBI’s, while Danny Munn chipped in sticking his fat bum into a wayward breaking ball to get on base with two outs and, eventually, score. Raffy walked Gaxiola (…), who stole yet another base (…), and then conceded the run on a Worthington single with two outs, so the lead was halved right away.

But the Raccoons scored Lonzo and guy that got plonked again in the third inning. That time the second was Gowin, and Pucks and Crispin were the batters with the 2-out RBI singles before Waters flew out to right. Raffy? A 31-pitch third inning with two walks, a single, two strikeouts, three full counts, and no runs, somehow. It was ghastly to watch. He had a clean and quick fourth, then began the fifth with a single to Costello (…!!) and a double that Bobby Rivera whacked into the gap in left-center. Middle infield D held the Loggers to one run on a Gaxiola groundout, and the Raccoons remained up 4-2, while Raffy would be done for the day after 95 once again depressing pitches.

At least the Critters kept adding runs with two outs. Crispin and Waters started the sixth with hits, and Lonzo was nicked with two outs by Costello before Chris Gowin hit a punishing 2-run single to left. Munn grounded out, and then Brett Lillis jr. came on for the sixth and retired… nobody. Thomas, Felix Vazquez, and Edwards reached on a walk and two hits, and then Hitchcock got the ball with the tying run in the box. He popped out Starnes, gave up one run on Eric Cobb’s groundout, but then had Munn in the right spot to catch Rivera’s fly to end the inning. The Raccoons clawed the run back with two outs in the seventh. Rams opened the inning with a double off Sansao Tyson, and scored after Pucks grounded out and Crispin hit a sac fly to center. Waters and Brassfield reached base afterwards, but Knight grounded out to short to end the inning.

Matt Walters was hoped to go two innings then, but didn’t; he walked Thomas and Starnes in the eighth inning, which made for a 4-out save chance with Dave Robles, a righty hitting .158, already announced as pinch-hitter. Gardner got the ball, and a strikeout to end the threat for the eighth inning. He would not allow a runner in the ninth inning, either, and the Raccoons evened the series. 7-3 Raccoons. Lavorano 2-4; Ramsay 2-5, 2B, 2 RBI; Crispin 2-4, 2 RBI; Waters 2-4, 2B;

Game 3
POR: LF Venegas – SS Lavorano – 1B Brassfield – RF Puckeridge – 3B Brobeck – 2B Waters – CF Lamotta – C Philipps – P Shui
MIL: 2B T. Edwards – 3B Gaxiola – RF Pigman – 1B Worthington – C C. Thomas – SS F. Vazquez – LF E. Cobb – CF Starnes – P J. Fox

Venegas singled to left. Lonzo singled to left. Brassfield whacked a 3-piece to left! Now, that was a start to a ballgame that I could get used to! Then, Pucks singled, Brobeck singled, and Waters… struck out. Ricky Lamotta hit an RBI single to center, and that was it before the battery whiffed the Coons out of the inning and Shui to the hill with a 4-0 lead. The Loggers made up a run immediately in the bottom 1st with a Pigman single, stolen base, and Worthington’s RBI single. Things got more interesting in the second inning. Lonzo drew a 1-out walk, and then scored again on a Brassfield extra-base knock, a triple to right-center. Now, that knocked off the hard half of the cycle entirely, and it was only the second inning! Pucks and Brobeck stranded him at third base, though. Another run scored in the third, though, when Waters and Lamotta went to the corners and Philipps’ grounder to short got Waters home, but was also a double play, but Philipps did get an RBI in the fifth inning. Then Pucks and Waters were on second and first, and Philipps sent a 2-2 pitch with two outs through between the two defenders on the left side for an RBI single. That made it 7-1 and was the first run not off Fox, but Roberto Alvarado. Shui added an RBI single, but Venegas flew out.

The Loggers got back at Shui in the bottom 5th, though, whacking him around for three hits, two stolen bases, and three runs to get back within slam range. Brassfield had flown out in the fourth, and grounded out in the sixth, which killed my cycle euphoria. Eric Cobb’s leadoff jack in the bottom 7th narrowed the gap to 8-5, and ended Shui’s day. Brobeck went to the hill, while Crispin took third base. A Robles single, Edwards double, and a walk to Gaxiola loaded the bags with the tying runs, Pigman socked a 2-run double, and Brobeck didn’t last the inning even after Worthington popped out. Lillis came in, got to 1-2 on Thomas, and then gave up a score-flipping single to the opposing catcher. I died inside.

Same for the team. They didn’t reach in the eighth inning, remaining a run behind. The ninth would be Dave Lister facing the 3-4 batters and what was now the pitcher’s spot. Brassfield singled to left, which still left him short a double for the cycle, but by now this was for a naked win and nothing else. Pucks hit into a double play, so we couldn’t even get ******* that. Danny Munn grounded out to end the game. 9-8 Loggers. Brassfield 3-5, HR, 3B, 4 RBI; Puckeridge 2-5; Lamotta 2-4, RBI;

In other news

May 11 – VAN CF Damian Moreno (.350, 1 HR, 10 RBI) will miss about six weeks with a broken finger.
May 12 – LAP SP Ivan Torres (3-2, 4.00 ERA) could miss the rest of the season with a torn rotator cuff.
May 14 – SAC SP Sean Sweeton (5-2, 2.53 ERA) 2-hits the Wolves in a 7-0 shutout.
May 14 – Gold Sox OF Bill Ramires (.361, 5 HR, 27 RBI) has been diagnosed with a strained rib cage muscle, and is going to miss a month at least.

FL Player of the Week: NAS INF Nick Nye (.317, 5 HR, 33 RBI), hitting .423 (11-26) with 2 HR, 10 RBI
CL Player of the Week: OCT 1B/SS Ryan Cox (.328, 6 HR, 17 RBI), batting .542 (13-24) with 2 HR, 8 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Not. Good. Not at all.

There’s losing to the Loggers, and then there’s blowtastically surrendering an 8-1 lead. Never mind all the other problems, like a closer being unable to pitch with a lead of between one and three runs. For our last 22 games, we’re 10-12.

It’s not gonna get better with a set in Elk City, then a stopover in Portland to play the Baybirds before we’ll have a cross-country trip just to Charlotte and back. Who made this schedule??

Fun Fact: Robby Gaxiola now leads the league in stolen bases.

I mean, it would help if we could keep the bugger – .225/.386/.333 – off the bases for once… He stole three bases against the Coons this weekend with three hits and four walks, also drove in four runs.