[Westheim]

Maud made muffins on Monday, mostly mulberry ones.

Maud is the best.

Raccoons (8-16) vs. Canadiens (17-8) – May 1-4, 2056

Hey, what a great time to face the damn Elks for the first time this year! The Raccoons had fallen on the snout so hard in April that they didn’t know which end was in and which was out, and the damn Elks led the league with 5.5 runs per game and were at least average with their pitching staff. To be fair, everything outside their .286 batting average and .374 on-base percentage as a team was a bit meh and hum, but that alone was probably enough to flatten a team that couldn’t score its way out of a pothole. This duel to the death had ended up tied 9-9 in both of the last two seasons.

Projected matchups:
Kyle Brobeck (0-2, 4.88 ERA) vs. Edwin Sopena (1-0, 5.14 ERA)
Seisaku Taki (2-3, 4.01 ERA) vs. Hyuma Hitomi (1-1, 4.76 ERA)
Sean Sweeton (1-1, 2.73 ERA) vs. Martino Barbiusa (3-1, 4.82 ERA)
Craig Kniep (0-0) vs. Anton Jesus (3-1, 3.38 ERA)

Nothing but right-handers to see here. No Alex Adame though; the ex-Coon was on the DL with a strained oblique.

Game 1
VAN: CF D. Moreno – SS Mullen – 1B Wheeler – C Waker – RF A. Walker – LF Magnussen – 2B R. Price – 3B Ashley – P Sopena
POR: CF Royer – SS Lavorano – RF Puckeridge – 2B Waters – 1B Ramsay – LF Kirkwood – P Brobeck – 3B Venegas – C Stanton

Offense was absent the first time through for either team, with a single for Anton Venegas, who was swiftly doubled up by Matt Stanton, who was making his first major league start, while Brobeck walked a pair, but also had one runner removed on a double play. Damian Moreno hit a 2-out single in the top 3rd, but was left on when Dan Mullen grounded out. The Elks went up 1-0 in the fourth with the aid of a leadoff double by Jeff Wheeler, who was brought across by Aaron Walker, who then caromed off the fence in pursuit of a Matt Waters drive in the bottom of the same inning. The catch was made, but Walker was staggering around afterwards and seemed disoriented and was taken for concussion tests, to be replaced by Sadafumi Taniguchi, a 31-year-old rookie from Japan.

Rain arrived by the time Dan Mullen had another leadoff double in the sixth, which this time led nowhere even when Brobeck plunked Wheeler. The Coons in the bottom 6th stacked the bags with … well, walks to Stanton and Pucks, and in between a scratch single by Steve Royer. Lonzo had already popped out in foul ground, and Waters fell to 0-2 before ticking a ball over the second base bag into centerfield. Stanton and Royer scored to flip the score, and then the tarp came onto the field for intensifying rain, and remained there for almost 90 minutes, easily ending the day of both starting pitchers. When play resumed eventually, Jameson Monk got a double play grounder from Ramsay. Stingy relief by Sencion and Lane got the Raccoons through eight. Bottom 8th, and Steve Royer drew a 1-out walk off Brian Grohoski, then stole second base. Lonzo obeyed with a single up the middle, Royer scored, and we had an insurance run. Pucks hit into a double play, but Matt Walters axed the Elks in order to open the series with a win! 3-1 Raccoons. Royer 1-2, 2 BB; Brobeck 6.0 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 3 BB, 4 K, W (1-2);

Finally a win for Brobeck, but the hitting part isn’t sorting out for him so far this year. He’s batting .154 with 1 HR, 4 RBI…

Game 2
VAN: CF D. Moreno – SS Mullen – 1B Wheeler – C Waker – RF K. Hawkins – LF Magnussen – 2B R. Price – 3B Uranga – P Hitomi
POR: CF Royer – SS Lavorano – RF Puckeridge – 2B Waters – 1B Ramsay – LF Caballero – C Fiore – 3B Espinoza – P Taki

Pucks’ solo jack gave the Critters a first-inning 1-0 lead, and the bags were full in the bottom 2nd with nobody out after singles by Rams and Caballero and Fiore’s fly to right getting dropped by Walker replacement Kyle Hawkins. Daniel Espinoza, who had been on the bus to Florida with three paws just a few days earlier then cranked a drive to left-center, high, and deep, and – GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMM!!

Oy, I needed that!

Back-to-back doubles by Jeff Wheeler and Tristan Waker gave the danm Elks a run in the third inning, but apart from that they drew blanks against Taki, who allowed only one other hit through six innings, but then walked Adam Magnussen at the start of the seventh. Jorge Uranga dropped a 1-out bloop single that Pucks misplayed to put the pair of runners in scoring position, but Taki rung up Taniguchi pinch-hitting in the #9 spot to maintain a firm grip on the Japanese of the Day crown. He didn’t face Damian Moreno with two outs and a pair in scoring position, though. We had Lillis for that. Moreno went down, and the Raccoons maintained a 5-1 lead, but Bravo allowed another pair of runners in the eighth inning. This time Walters appeared with four outs to collect against mostly lefty sticks, got called strike three past Magnussen, and retired Rick Price, Uranga, and Mark Mooney without trouble in the ninth inning on top of that. 5-1 Coons. Royer 3-4; Caballero 2-4; Espinoza 1-2, BB, HR, 4 RBI; Taki 6.2 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 3 BB, 9 K, W (3-3); Walters 1.1 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K, SV (6);

Daniel who? Not quite Daniel Hall, but I’ll take the runs, thank you.

Game 3
VAN: CF D. Moreno – SS Mullen – 1B Wheeler – C Waker – RF K. Hawkins – LF Magnussen – 2B R. Price – 3B Uranga – P Barbiusa
POR: CF Royer – LF Kirkwood – RF Puckeridge – 2B Waters – 1B Ramsay – 3B Venegas – C Fiore – SS Espinoza – P Sweeton

The Elks scored first on Wednesday, and it was Hawkins with an unearned 3-run homer in the first inning. Dan Mullen reached on another Pucks error, which was one of those highly annoying things that left you clawing thin air in agony. With Lonzo getting a day off, Steve Royer got on base his first two times up and both times was doubled off by Kirkwood, which didn’t lead to a great deal of offense for us in the early going… or any runs at all. Royer hit a 1-out double in the sixth for his third at-bat, and Kirkwood had trouble finding a double play from there, but flew out to center, while Pucks left the runner on third base. That was about the offense for Portland through six, although an infield single by Ramsay shouldn’t go entirely unmentioned.

Sweeton finally gave up some earned runs in the seventh on a 2-run bomb by Jason Ashley, and after that the Raccoons, down 5-0, shrugged and threw in Colby Bowen to pitch the rest of the game, if feasible, before losing his roster spot to Craig Kniep. Bowen got out of the inning, Rams hit a solo jack in the bottom 7th, but Bowen then walked FOUR batters in the eighth inning and was yanked with two runs already home. Tanizaki got a groundout from Moreno to get out of the mess, while Barbiusa pitched a complete-game 8-hitter… 7-1 Canadiens. Royer 3-4, 2B; Ramsay 3-4, HR, RBI;

As anticipated, Bowen (10.13 ERA) was a goner, and Craig Kniep was called up to start on Thursday.

Steve Royer got a day off in the finale.

Game 4
VAN: CF D. Moreno – SS Mullen – 1B Wheeler – RF A. Walker – LF K. Hawkins – 3B R. Price – 2B Uranga – C Cass – P A. Jesus
POR: LF Kirkwood – SS Lavorano – RF Puckeridge – 2B Waters – 1B Ramsay – CF Solorzano – 3B Chavez – C Stanton – P Kniep

Damian Moreno left the game with a sore foot in the first inning, and again Taniguchi was the replacement, while a solo jack by Dan Mullen in the third inning would turn out to be the only run scored through five frames in the game. The Raccoons had a Kniep single, a Solorzano double, and absolutely nothing else through five… Pucks’ 2-out single in the sixth led nowhere with Jesus hanging a K on Waters, while Kniep went six and a third before being chased by another rain delay. Sencion would see out the top of the seventh, while the Raccoons loaded the bases against Jesus – who was still on the hill despite the rain delay – in the bottom 7th. Rams singled, Chavez walked, and Caballero hit an infield single with two outs in the #9 hole. Kirkwood batted in that most crucial spot, and so far he was 1-for-12 as a Raccoon with no RBI’s. Flying out to Taniguchi in center put him at 1-for-13 with no RBI’s.

Magnussen and Mullen hit singles off Mike Lane in the eighth, but Tristan Waker, batting for Wheeler, hit into a double play to Lonzo. Waters’ double off Kellen Lanning in the bottom 8th went nowhere nice, but at least Lane and Lillis kept the damn Elks in place with a 1-2-3 ninth inning. Left-hander Bernardino Risso got the bottom 9th for the Elks. Royer, Chavez, and Venegas went down in order. 1-0 Canadiens. Caballero (PH) 1-1; Kniep 6.1 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 4 K, L (0-1) and 1-2;

Boys! We had them right where we wanted them!! And then you went all like, nah, we’re not gonna…?

Whyyy??

Raccoons (10-18) @ Buffaloes (19-10) – May 5-7, 2056

The Buffos were the second division leader in a row to face for us, which was hardly fair and I shall file a complaint with the league office. Topeka was #3 in runs scored in the Federal League, and fourth in runs allowed, with a +29 run differential. They had the very best rotation in the FL, so I had doubts we’d ever get to see their rancid, tenth-ranked bullpen… These teams had last played in 2054, with Topeka sweeping that set. The Coons hadn’t won a series from the Buffos since 2044.

Projected matchups:
Rafael de la Cruz (0-3, 3.54 ERA) vs. Ben Karst (4-0, 2.06 ERA)
He Shui (2-2, 3.86 ERA) vs. Chris Ferguson (3-0, 3.00 ERA)
Seisaku Taki (3-3, 3.57 ERA) vs. Bill Hernandez (2-2, 3.54 ERA)

We’d avoid the token southpaw in their rotation and instead get another full slate of right-handers.

Us meanwhile now had six starters on the roster and yet to dispose of one. Brobeck’s turn would have been Sunday, but he’d be available out of the pen for the last games of the weekend instead.

Game 1
POR: CF Royer – SS Lavorano – 1B Puckeridge – 2B Waters – LF Caballero – RF Solorzano – 3B Brobeck – C Fiore – P de la Cruz
TOP: CF Thayer – 2B Aparicio – SS de los Santos – 1B Liberos – LF M. Cox – 3B Blackshire – C Dye – RF Grewe – P Karst

Certified fossil Tony Aparicio hit a jack off Raffy in the first inning for a quickie deficit, but Portland flipped the score in the top 2nd with a leadoff walk for Waters, Solorzano’s RBI double, and after Brobeck singled a sac fly for Fiore. Raffy flew out to end the inning, then saw another one fly out off Jonathan Dye’s bat to tie the game again in the bottom 2nd. Raffy spent his second time through the lineup almost exclusively behind in the count, walking three, but then not giving up any hits and/or runs. The bad command never left him again in this outing, and after offering a leadoff walk to Manny Liberos in the bottom 6th he got a groundout from Matt Cox, and then was lifted after 91 pitches. Tanizaki got two more outs without conceding that go-ahead run, which gave Raffy a no-decision for his and my bothers.

The Coons had wasted a Waters double in the top 6th, but also got Solorzano on with a leadoff single in the seventh. Two productive outs moved him to third base, and with Venegas pinch-hitting and two outs, a wild pitch scored the go-ahead run for a 3-2 Coons lead. Venegas struck out on Tim Betty’s next pitch. Sam Turner and Nick Thayer hit leadoff singles against Lillis in the bottom of the inning, but Aparicio found a double play to hit into and Alex de los Santos popped out to Pucks in foul ground, stranding the tying run on third base. Thayer then couldn’t reach Royer’s leadoff drive in the eighth. The ball clanged off the fence for a leadoff triple, after which Lonzo struck out, Pucks walked, and Waters flew out to Thayer, and Royer just shrugged and dashed home despite the ball not being particularly deep, and narrowly scored the insurance run. Lillis and Lane (the latter on third straight day) wiggled through the eighth with traffic thanks to Lillis fumbling a ball for an error, but they kept the Buffos away – which was *great* because Walters gave up his first run of the season. Entering with a 2-run lead, he got two outs, then walked Aparicio and de los Santos, the two chewy right-handed batters. Liberos hit an RBI single, but 2054 Critter Matt Cox was rung up to end the game. 4-3 Coons. Waters 1-2, BB, 2B, RBI; Solorzano 2-2, BB, 2B, RBI;

Game 2
POR: CF Royer – SS Lavorano – RF Puckeridge – 2B Waters – 1B Ramsay – LF Kirkwood – 3B Venegas – C Fiore – P Shui
TOP: CF Thayer – 3B Blackshire – SS de los Santos – C McLaren – 1B Liberos – LF M. Cox – 2B S. Turner – RF Grewe – P Ferguson

Thayer single to left, Dave Blackshire single to right, and an Alex de los Santos homer to left, and the Buffaloes had a 3-0 lead without making an out against He Shui, who plainly sucked once more. He couldn’t even get a ******* bunt down when Fiore opened the third inning with a single, then went back out and gave up another run on de los Santos and Liberos doubles in the bottom 3rd, 4-0. Shui would not return after five innings, getting whacked around for eight hits, most of them hard, and some of them plenty long.

The Coons had all of two hits through five innings, besides the Fiore single constituting a Lonzo single. We had yet to reach as much as third base, but the visiting team actually got on the ******* board in the sixth inning. Royer opened with a single, stole second, and was driven home by Waters with a shy single and two outs, 4-1. Venegas then had a great sequence, making an error behind Bravo in the bottom 6th, then hit into a double play to erase Kirkwood’s leadoff single in the seventh. YAY. Just $5.9M a year, dear GM’s, and basically as good as new! Not that Bravo himself was any good. He pitched two innings, walked a guy, nailed a guy, and gave up a 2-out run in the bottom 7th on Matt McLaren’s single. The last few innings just ran away from us, and another L was punched in completely lackluster fashion. 5-1 Buffaloes.

(groans)

Game 3
POR: CF Royer – SS Lavorano – 1B Ramsay – 2B Waters – RF Caballero – LF Kirkwood – 3B Espinoza – C Stanton – P Taki
TOP: CF Thayer – 2B Aparicio – C McLaren – 1B Liberos – LF M. Cox – SS Aredondo – 3B S. Turner – RF Grewe – P B. Hernandez

Taki filled the bags in the first inning, with Oscar Arendondo flying out to a running Kirkwood to strand the full set, then filled the bags yet again in the second and gave up a 2-run single to Aparicio. Thayer was caught stealing third base and McLaren grounded out to Lonzo to end that inning. While Lonzo singled in the top 3rd, he was caught stealing, but Aredondo singled, stole second, and was driven in by Sam Turner for a 3-0 score.

Neither side of the team could stop being crap. Caballero was on base in the top 4th, and doubled up by Kirkwood. Taki gave up hits to Thayer and Aparicio, and Thayer stole a base in between so scored another run in the bottom 4th. Matt Stanton got his first career hit in the fifth inning, the second single of the inning after Espinoza’s to lead off. Thayer misfielded the ball, and Espinoza didn’t stop at third base and scored instead, with Stanton to second base. From there, the Coons went strikeout, groundout, strikeout, but Taki ****** up another pair of leadoff singles to Cox and Aredondo in the bottom 5th, then got two outs without allowing the runners to score… and then served up a 2-out, 2-run single to Bill Hernandez anyway. Taki got one out in the sixth before being disposed of, and Sencion finished that frame before being pinch-hit for by Pucks, who hit a bomb off righty Joe Thomlison to negligibly narrowing the deficit from five to four runs. Royer singled, was caught stealing, and I had wet eyes.

Waters’ solo homer off Tim Betty got us to 6-3 in the eighth, after which Caballero doubled to center, Kirkwood walked, and Solorzano batted for Espinoza, drawing a lefty in Tim Abraham, but legged out an infield single, which put all the tying runs on base. The Buffaloes moved to righty Matt Biddle, so the Raccoons answered with Matt Fiore for Stanton. Fiore actually connected and didn’t just harm haplessly bypassing insects with his swing, sending a ball into the right-center gap. That was in, and one run scored, two runs scored, and here came Solorzano and was – thrown out. Venegas batted for Tanizaki, but popped out, and the tying run remained on base. Matt Walters kept the Buffaloes one run away – partially because with six relievers we were just a bit out of options. Righty Roberto Ramirez was on the mound for the top 9th. The Coons needed one to tie, two to lead, but Royer and Lonzo both grounded out to Aredondo. Ramsay singled to left, but there was nobody to pinch-run for him with. Waters popped out to Cox in shallow center, rendering that point moot anyway. 6-5 Buffaloes. Royer 2-5; Caballero 2-4, 2B; Espinoza 2-3; Solorzano (PH) 1-1; Fiore (PH) 1-1, 2B, 2 RBI; Puckeridge (PH) 1-1, HR, RBI;

In other news

May 1 – It’s 2,000 base hits for 34-year-old DEN 2B/3B Ivan Villa (.277, 3 HR, 14 RBI), who connects three tiems in a 12-9 win over the Stars to reach the milestone and then one more. Villa has batted .293 with 339 HR, 1,251 RBI, and 315 stolen bases in his career. The career Sock and 3-time Player of the Year got the marquee hit with a double off DAL SP Bobby Shenk (0-3, 7.85 ERA).
May 4 – Shoulder inflammation could end the season of SAL SP Brian Fuqua (4-1, 2.41 ERA) in early May.
May 5 – SFW 2B Mike DeFusco (.327, 3 HR, 9 RBI) could miss the rest of the month with a case of inflamed facet joints.
May 5 – An oblique strain should put WAS 1B Alejandro Ramos (.371, 7 HR, 19 RBI) out for the rest of May.
May 5 – The Thunder beat the Wolves, 1-0 in 11 innings. OCT 1B Eddie de la Roca (.222, 3 HR, 7 RBI), who the Thunder acquired in April, hits a game-winning sac fly in his seventh ABL game. The Wolves have only one single against Victor Marquez ((1-2, 4.72 ERA) and two relievers, with that hit belonging to 1B Jose Campos (.246, 2 HR, 9 RBI).
May 6 – The Falcons bomb the Stars, 16-4, with a particularly fine day for CHA 1B Jason Schaack (.325, 6 HR, 28 RBI), who drives in five runs on three hits while missing the cycle by the triple.

FL Player of the Week: PIT OF Josh Abercrombie (.341, 3 HR, 22 RBI), hitting .483 (14-29) with 1 HR, 4 RBI
CL Player of the Week: TIJ LF Tim Duncan (.268, 8 HR, 25 RBI), stroking .423 (11-26) with 4 HR, 11 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Luis? Luis!? … What’s inflamed facet joints? – A-ha. – A-ha. – No, I’m hurting more in here. (puts paw over where his little black heart is pumping)

What’s that other paper you’re having there, Luis? – (reaches for paper but Silva is trying his best to not let the GM have it; finally he’s outwitted with a feint to left and a firm grab to the right) – Luis, what does that mean, “Setback for Adkins, not going to pitch again this year”?

I feel dizzy.

No, dismal is the word.

Both Prospero Tenazes and Tyler Philipps arrived in AAA unmolested early this week.

Off day on Monday, and then it’s 16 straight games, starting with a home week against the Wolves and Indians.

Fun Fact: I’m actively looking at the waiver wire now.

(big sip from oversized bottle of Capt’n Coma)

What? It’s the family value bottle!