Ohtani? Who cares? The Mets picked up
RHP Jorge Lopez!
(SI.com headline was "Former Orioles All-Star Lopez Signs with National League Contender". Hehe, "contender". Good one, SI!)
That said, for discard pile pick-ups (another 1 year/$2 mn player), this doesn't totally suck. Sure, Lopez was hot garbage for three teams (MIN, MIA, BAL) last season, but he was a 2022 All-Star before the O's messed him up by cashing him in for 4 players at the deadline. (Presumably, Lopez thought he was part of what they were building in Baltimore, and was thrown when he was kicked out of the nest.)
And he's "only" 30 (an infant, by Mets standards), which means there's a chance that last year was in fact a blip, rather than the start of the Death Spiral.
So perhaps he will be better than last season's 5.95 ERA and 1.51 WHIP. He even has starting experience with KC in 2018-19, although he was completely ass-raped trying that for Baltimore in 2021. But given the Mets' dearth of starter candidates, it's at least useful knowing there's an option in the pen.
Just in case Senga/Quintana/SevereNo/Lucchesi/Butto turn out
not to be the Fireball Five reborn, after all.