[Westheim]

Raccoons (12-7) vs. Knights (4-14) – April 28-30, 2059

Things were going a bit pear-shaped in Atlanta, where the Knights had scored just 52 runs from 18 games, bottoms in the league, and that was nothing that could be fixed with decidedly mediocre pitching. They had piled up a -34 run differential in just 18 times on the green grass, and they would probably correct that trend soon. Very soon. They had won five of nine games against the Raccoons last season.

Projected matchups:
Bobby Herrera (1-2, 1.95 ERA) vs. Jose Villegas (0-1, 4.50 ERA)
Zach Stewart (1-1, 1.65 ERA) vs. Joe Napier (0-2, 2.01 ERA)
Justin DeRose (1-0, 5.19 ERA) vs. Vic Harman (0-2, 7.54 ERA)

The series started with a southpaw on Monday, then continued with two right-handers from the Knights’ side.

Both teams struggled with injuries early on, with the Knights having lost Willie Acosta for the year, and Enrique Ortiz, Oscar Juarez, David Hardaway, and Doug Triplett at least for some time. The Raccoons had suffered two injured outfielders on Sunday; we kept Kelly Konecny as day-to-day on the roster, but Todd Oley hit the DL. 23-year-old Joey Christopher was brought up from St. Pete, where he had a .414 OBP, to fill in a bit. Christopher had 37 ABL games under his belt between the Miners and Coons, hitting .297 with no home runs. He had a new number, #18, after Konecny had taken his previously issued #21.

Game 1
ATL: C M. Nieto – SS Moya – 1B C. Rice – RF J. Harmon – LF Abercrombie – 3B Munn – CF del Toro – 2B R. Romero – P Villegas
POR: 2B Labonte – SS Lavorano – CF Caswell – LF Brassfield – RF Martinez – 3B Ojeda – C Monaghan – 1B Agee – P B. Herrera

The landmines kept going off in Raccoons Ballpark, as Villegas would leave the game with an injury before five innings were complete and despite a sizable lead held by the allegedly feckless Knights against Bobby Herrera, who was merely terrible. Six Knights went down in order to begin the game, three on strikeouts, but then they built a 2-run inning out of nothing but horse *****, two infield singles, and one bloop single into center, that made me open the nearest bottle of Capt’n Coma. The entire ex-Coon array in the 5-6-7 spots then reached base with one out in the fourth inning as Josh Abercrombie singled, Danny Munn walked, Juan del Toro hit another single that plated Abercrombie, and Ricardo Romero plated a second run with a groundout. Jamie Harmon would hit a solo home run in the sixth for the Knights’ fifth run against Tipsy Bobby, who looked more tipsy than bobby this time ‘round. To add insult to injury, the only Raccoons run in the early going resulted from Herrera hitting a double to right and then being driven in with Bribiesca’s single to left-center. Bryan Roper would be even worse in the eighth inning, allowing four base runners without failing the zone or getting over any pitch at all, and was charged with two runs before Reynaldo Bravo escaped from a bases-loaded situation with two strikeouts.

Bottom 8th. The Knights were up 7-1 and sent Matt Weber for the inning. Lonzo struck out, and Caswell only reached on an error by Chris Rice. Brass singled. Jesus Martinez bashed a home run on the very next pitch, and six runs became three. Jake Hill replaced Weber, got a grounder from Ojeda, then gave up a single to Monaghan, then the ball to southpaw Amari Walker, whom Joe Agee doubled against. Exit Walker, enter Jess Miss, with the hobbled Konecny batting for Bravo, singling, bringing in both runners, and then departed before becoming obnoxious for pinch-runner David Gonzales. The Rule 5er scored on the very next pitch, on which Bribiesca smacked a double, erasing the last of the 6-run deficit. Lonzo flew out to Harmon to end the inning.

The ninth was uneventful I that no runs were scored; Matt Walters pitched two innings, whiffing four and giving up a hit in each, but the Knights didn’t get back in front in the tenth inning either. The Knights ran out of relievers after regulation (they used four in the eighth inning alone, which with the early departure of Villegas kinda sucked for them) and threw in Napier for the bottom 10th. He walked Monaghan, but Agee hit into a double play right away. In turn Tanizaki all allowed the 3-4-5 batters on base with two outs in the 11th inning, and Abs batted home Rice with the tie-breaking run. Danny Munn grounded out to short to leave two, while the Raccoons had to move now. Bribiesca and Lonzo made meek outs, however, and when Caswell walked and advanced to second after a wild pitch, Brassfield still popped out foul. 8-7 Knights. Bribiesca 3-6, 2 2B, 2 RBI; Konecny (PH) 1-1, 2 RBI; Walters 2.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 4 K;

That one hurt…

Game 2
ATL: CF Nork – 1B C. Rice – C M. Nieto – LF Abercrombie – 3B Munn – SS Moya – RF Callaia – 2B R. Romero – P Harman
POR: 2B Labonte – SS Lavorano – CF Caswell – LF Brassfield – RF Martinez – 1B Agee – 3B Gonzales – C Beard – P Stewart

Harman went on short rest, but thankfully had been knocked out of his last start early, so maybe it would all shake out for the Knights. Tuesday’s game started off even more ******* than Monday’s. Dan Nork struck out, but reached on the uncaught third strike, and Rice hit a bloop single to put a pair on base. Marco Nieto flew out, while Abercrombie’s grounder was taken to second base, but Lonzo couldn’t turn two and hurt himself trying on top of that. He left the game and Ojeda took over the #2 spot playing at third base, with Gonzales to short, where he immediately missed Danny Munn’s 2-out grounder for an RBI single before finally ending the inning on Joaquin Moya’s groundball. Labonte singled and Ojeda tripled to make up the deficit before an out was made in the bottom 1st, and Caswell’s sac fly gave Portland a 2-1 lead, but I was inconsolably crying into a pillow anyway because everybody loves Lonzo, and if you don’t love Lonzo, we can’t be friends.

Offense died in the following innings, but things threatened to get worse in terms of roster space when rain began to fall in the fourth inning. There was an hourlong rain delay, after which Stewart continued and got three outs from the bottom of the order mostly in the top 5th. Harman also continued, but got socked some in the bottom 5th. Labonte singled, Ojeda reached on Ricardo Romero’s throwing error, and Caswell doubled home the pair of them. Brass singled, Martinez walked, and the Knights *really* didn’t want to use a reliever in the fifth inning, and were lucky with a pop and a grounder that Harman collected from Agee and Gonzales, respectively, leaving the bases full at the end of the inning. Stewart gave up a triple to Munn with two outs in the sixth inning, but then struck out Moya to get out of there; it was his last inning, also owed to the rain delay.

Ornelas then had a nice seventh inning and was brought back for the eighth with markedly less stellar results. Dan Nork launched a leadoff double into the leftfield corner, made it to third on a wild pitch, Rice walked, and Marco Nieto landed an RBI single in leftfield that Brassfield overran to allow the tying runs into scoring position with nobody out. As a sign that things were going to be alright, Ojeda then failed to play the sorry grounder hit by Abercrombie off Eloy Sencion in a timely manner, a run scored, and Abs was safe at first base. Munn and Moya both struck out, but Ojeda’s dive couldn’t contain a sharp whizzer whacked by Jose Torres in Callaia’s spot, and the tying and go-ahead runs scored from the corners with two outs. Romero whiffed to end the terrible, horrible, no-good inning. Bravo got on the snout even more in the ninth inning; del Toro led off with a pinch-hit single, and Bravo then walked the bags full like some idiot. Nieto struck out, but Abercrombie singled home two runs while Ryan Dow suffocated the Critters… 7-4 Knights. Labonte 2-5; Caswell 3-4, 2B, 3 RBI;

Tribulations. Wednesday marked Cameron Argenziano’s day of eligibility to come off the DL. The Coons were two short on the bench now, with Konecny still day-to-day and Lonzo not diagnosed as of game time. Argenziano remained unassigned for this game, DeRose took the start, and we’d shake out how to proceed over the following off day.

The Knights went back to Napier, who had pitched two relatively quick innings for the win in relief on Monday.

Game 3
ATL: CF Nork – SS Moya – 1B C. Rice – RF J. Harmon – LF Abercrombie – 3B Munn – C J. Torres – 2B R. Romero – P Napier
POR: 2B Labonte – SS Bribiesca – CF Caswell – LF Brassfield – RF Martinez – 3B Ojeda – 1B Christopher – C Monaghan – P DeRose

Jesus Martinez’ 2-out RBI single plated Labonte in the bottom 1st for an early and tiny Raccoons lead, and DeRose feigned competence for a little while, but ultimately walked Chris Rice in the fourth inning, then threw two wild pitches to allow Harmon to bring him in with the tying run on a deep fly to left that Brass caught. Abs hit a single, stole second, reached third on a throwing error by Monaghan, and *somehow* was stranded when Danny Munn popped out on a 3-1 pitch.

The Raccoons’ offense was silent after that first-inning run until Monaghan drew a leadoff walk in the bottom 5th and Napier frittered DeRose’s hard comebacker of a bunt into no outs at all since his attempt at starting a 1-6-3 double play pulled Moya off the base at second and all paws were safe. Labonte hit into a fielder’s choice to get the pitcher off the bases, while Bribiesca’s RBI single gave the Raccoons a new 2-1 lead. Cas and Brass croaked, though, and two grounders weren’t gonna do the trick, both being to short for an out each. Rice’s double, a throwing error by Labonte, a passed ball, and a Munn single flipped the score around in the next half-inning as the Raccoons didn’t miss a beat in their bid to suck on all cylinders… Bribiesca joined into the choir of howlers in the eighth, making not one but TWO errors at short behind Ricky Herrera to absolutely insist the Knights score an insurance run. Furthermore, Chris Rice doubled home a run after Marco Nieto’s leadoff single in the ninth inning against the by-and-large useless Roper.

By the bottom 9th, the Raccoons had looked like roadkill for a solid two and a half hours (four errors, anyone?) and I just wanted the game to end. So of course Joe Agee and Paul Labonte opened the inning with doubles off right-hander Nick Hamlin. That narrowed the score to 5-3 and brought the tying run to the plate, although Bribiesca and Caswell immediately made wasteful outs. Brass singled home Labonte, advancing Martinez into the box. His pathetic grounder to short ended the ballgame. 5-4 Knights. Bribiesca 2-5, RBI; Agee (PH) 1-1, 2B;

To everybody’s horror, there were still no news about Lonzo by Friday. The entire off day came and went and the Raccoons made no roster move.

We ended up sending Argenziano on a rather shambolic “rehab assignment” to the Alley Cats to clear him off the DL, under strict instructions not to use him in a game. Konecny was available again by Friday, but we still carried a dead body on the bench as the new series began.

Raccoons (12-10) vs. Indians (11-10) – May 2-4, 2059

The tumultuous homestand would close with the second series of the year against the Indians, who we had beaten twice to start the season before starting a 5-game losing streak. Indy ranked sixth in runs scored and third in runs allowed, which sounded surprisingly competent after their last few years. Josh Barbieri, Roberto Oyola, Randy Slocum, Mike DeWitt, Jorge Ortiz – the list of injuries for Indy was just as long as ours.

Projected matchups:
Chance Fox (3-0, 4.21 ERA) vs. Melvin Guerra (2-1, 2.96 ERA)
Ramon Carreno (1-0, 0.60 ERA) vs. Matt Green (0-1, 7.30 ERA)
Bobby Herrera (1-2, 2.91 ERA) vs. Shane Fitzgibbon (3-1, 3.72 ERA)

Southpaw Sunday!

Game 1
IND: SS Kilday – 2B Ewers – LF O. Ramos – 1B B. Quinteros – CF Oldfield – C Carranza – 3B Niles – RF Lovins – P Guerra
POR: 2B Labonte – SS Bribiesca – CF Caswell – LF Brassfield – RF Martinez – 1B Agee – 3B Ojeda – C Monaghan – P Fox

Without Lonzo, the entire team looked like they had been tied to a guardrail somewhere on rural I-90 in Montana and then had looked after their owner, speeding off, with big black googly eyes. Through five innings on Friday, the Raccoons had *one* measly base hit, an RBI single by Caswell to score Labonte, who had walked and stolen second base, in the first inning, but Chance Fox had long found his way onto the hook. He was all over the place; long counts, three walks, and while the tying run scored in the second inning on a wild pitch – after he walked the scoring runner, Fernando Carranza, to begin the whole shebang – the Indians’ go-ahead run came on a 2-out throwing error by Monaghan, who made no serious efforts to have his 2060 option ever picked up.

The stretch came – after a scoreless inning by Tanizaki, replacing Fox after six abortive innings – and went with the Raccoons still on one hit, until Brass poked a 1-out single in the bottom 7th. Martinez walked, but Guerra got a pop from Agee before bringing up Ojeda. The third-base rental did his best trick in the arsenal and zinged a sharp drive into right-center and into the gap, all the way to the wall for a score-flipping, 2-out, 2-run triple…! He scored on a wild pitch now, 4-2, but Kevin Ewers erased that extra run with a jack off Eloy Sencion in the eighth. Sencion kept seamlessly fitting in with the rest of the unhinged pitching staff, allowing a hit to Orlando Ramos, and another one with two outs to Ricardo Vargas, and another one to Carranza, and suddenly the bags were full and the Coons tossed Ornelas into the fray against Nathan Niles … who struck out, and the 4-3 lead stood for the time being. The bottom 8th was entirely fruitless, but at least Matt Walters went 1-2-3 with two strikeouts against Mitch Korfhage, Matt Kilday, and Ewers. 4-3 Blighters. Caswell 1-2, BB, RBI;

We had three base hits. The Indians had nine.

For once, the Raccoons finished their dinner and cleaned their plates – not a single brown-shirted runner was left on base in this game.

It’s not like there were many.

And then it was Saturday and …

…and where the actual **** WERE Luis Silva and Lonzo even???

Game 2
IND: SS Kilday – RF Lovins – LF O. Ramos – 1B B. Quinteros – 3B R. Vargas – CF Oldfield – C Carranza – 2B Ewers – P M. Green
POR: 2B Labonte – 3B Ojeda – CF Caswell – LF Brassfield – 1B Agee – RF Christopher – SS Gonzales – C Monaghan – P Carreno

Carreno’s game began with a walk to Matt Kilday, who soon scored on Chris Lovins’ double. Bill Quinteros was nicked, Ricardo Vargas’ groundout got Kilday home, and the Raccoons were down 2-0 in a hurry. Cory Oldfield’s 2-out walk didn’t help them much more, since Carranza easily flew out to Christopher in right. Carreno never got any better, really, the Indians were just more forgiving about his mistakes. In the fourth Vargas hit a leadoff double and Oldfield was nicked, but after Carranza’s deep fly out to Brass, Kevin Ewers hit into a 5-4-3 double play to end that inning. The score blew up in the fifth after a bottom 4th in which Agee reached on an error, was forced out by Christopher, who stole second, but was then left there in scoring position. The top 5th was the last for Carreno; Green opened with a single to left, which was always nice, but was forced out on a bad bunt by Kilday. The fast Kilday however stole second base, then scored on Chris Lovins’ single, and Orlando Ramos brushed a 2-run homer to extend the Indians’ lead to 5-0.

Monaghan’s leadoff jack in the bottom 5th made up one run, but then it began to rain, both on the scoreboard and in the bigger picture. Roper walked Carranza in the top 6th, gave up a triple to Ewers, and Green got a sac fly to shove two more runs down the rookie’s throat, with a third run following in the top of the seventh, which Roper began by filling the bases without a whiff of an out in his favor. Not that a new pitcher made it better: Reynaldo Bravo was just taken deep by Kilday when he came into the game in the eighth… 9-1 Indians.

(scratches head with a hindpaw)

…

On Sunday, then, the Raccoons scratched Lonzo off the roster for the rest of the year. After a myriad of tests had shown a tear in his labrum, he was scheduled for surgery on Monday, and Luis Silva gave me no hopes that he was going to suit up for baseball again this season. – But Luis Silva, it’s only May! How are we gonna make it through the cold and loveless season without Lonzo…!?

Cristiano Carmona had Vernon Hudalla imported from St. Petersburg then, because I was in no state to do anything but bawl my eyeballs out. In a second move, he also exchanged Ramon Carreno with Cameron Argenziano.

Game 3
IND: SS Kilday – RF Lovins – LF O. Ramos – 1B B. Quinteros – 3B R. Vargas – C Carranza – CF S. Thompson – 2B Ewers – P Fitzgibbon
POR: 2B Bribiesca – 3B Ojeda – CF Caswell – LF Brassfield – RF Martinez – SS Gonzales – 1B Agee – C Beard – P B. Herrera

I didn’t show any reactions as the Indians roughed up Bobby Herrera for three runs right in the first inning of the rubber game. All the runs scoring on doubles by Orlando Ramos and Ricardo Vargas. Those would be the only runs in seven innings off Herrera, but they proved to be plenty for the Raccoons, who were by now entirely directionless. Nothing much happened for them the first time through the order, but in the fourth inning they at least got Caswell on with a single, Brass doubled, and Martinez’ sac fly and Gonzales’ single got two runs home. The 3-2 deficit hung around like a bad stench or like Tanizaki all the way to the stretch then, after which Beard and Konecny began the bottom 7th with a pair of meager outs before Bribiesca hit a double to centerfield that could have been a single if Steve Thompson hadn’t been so greedy about getting the third out with an aggressive slide. He couldn’t get the ball, and instead gave up another base, although that ended up not mattering in the end. Ojeda singled to right to put them on the corners (and Bribiesca would have reached third base on this play anyway), and Ewers fumbled Cas’ grounder to allow the tying run to score. Brass smacked an RBI single to left-center to give Bobby Herrera a belated lead, but Martinez struck out. After Sencion held his **** together for three outs in the eighth, Monaghan drew a walk batting for Agee and Konecny reached on an error against left-hander Matt Otte in the bottom 8th, but an actual base hit and insurance run would have been too much asked. Kevin Ewers, who had snatched Bribiesca’s liner to end the bottom 8th, singled with two outs after Walters had struck out Carranza and Niles in the ninth, but that inning ended just like the previous half-inning, with Victor Cruz lining out to the second baseman. 4-3 Coons. Caswell 2-4; Brassfield 2-4, 2B, RBI; B. Herrera 7.0 IP, 7 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 2 BB, 7 K, W (2-2);

In other news

April 29 – BOS SP Jayden Craddock (3-1, 1.57 ERA) throws a no-hitter against the Falcons in his fourth Titans start, allowing just two walks and no base knocks in a 2-0 win. This is the first no-hitter for Boston since Kyle Turay no-hit the Thunder in 2050.
April 29 – Big winter acquisition SAC INF Victor Corrales (.239, 1 HR, 9 RBI) will miss a month at least with a broken finger.
April 29 – The Warriors get LF/RF Josh Bursley (.254, 3 HR, 9 RBI) from the Stars in a trade for MR Zack Stahl (1-0, 11.42 ERA) and a prospect.
April 30 – A ruptured lumbar disc ends the season of Blue Sox outfielder Tony Ontiveroz (.333, 3 HR, 10 RBI).
May 1 – The Miners beat the Pacifics 16-7 on the strength of a 10-run sixth inning.
May 2 – The Stars beat the Gold Sox, 8-7 in 17 innings. DAL OF Cortez Miranda (.300, 0 HR, 3 RBI) drives in the tie-breaking run after eight innings of nothingness on the scoreboard.
May 3 – Warriors MR Kellen Lanning (1-1, 1.80 ERA, 2 SV) commits the sin of a walkoff balk in the bottom of the ninth inning in a 5-4 loss to the Scorpions, moving his leg while on the rubber to allow SAC OF Mario Ceballos (.136, 0 HR, 1 RBI) to score from third base.
May 4 – Aces 3B/1B/RF Alex Alfaro (.318, 3 HR, 11 RBI) was going to miss a month with a broken finger.
May 4 – The Aces, unimpressed by the loss, score in every inning but the first in their 12-4 win over the Bayhawks.

FL Player of the Week: NAS INF Nick Nye (.347, 6 HR, 15 RBI), bashing .524 (11-21) with 3 HR, 7 RBI
CL Player of the Week: ATL 3B/1B Doug Triplett (.253, 3 HR, 10 RBI), playing just the weekend for a .538 (7-13) clip with 1 HR, 5 RBI

FL Hitter of the Month: SFW 3B Steve Dilly (.333, 5 HR, 27 RBI)
CL Hitter of the Month: MIL RF/LF Perry Pigman (.430, 1 HR, 14 RBI)
FL Pitcher of the Month: PIT SP Sean Sweeton (4-0, 1.35 ERA)
CL Pitcher of the Month: NYC CL Zachariah Alldred (3-0, 1.13 ERA, 5 SV)
FL Rookie of the Month: PIT LF/RF Elijah Johnson (.410, 1 HR, 11 RBI)
CL Rookie of the Month: VAN INF/RF Mark Younce (.341, 0 HR, 9 RBI)

Complaints and stuff

Hi, it’s Cristiano Carmona today. The GM is … (looks over to the gray figure in the black coat, black hat, and black sunglasses sitting motionless at the desk on the other side of the room) … not really with us today.

The Raccoons posted a losing week after two weeks of smashing nearly everything that crossed their path. The issue was mostly pitching-related, because we’re still scoring nearly five runs per game. The bullpen remains especially brittle and is in fact the worst in the CL right now by ERA, if you believe in obsolete metrics like that.

We are obviously in the hunt for a new shortstop … (looks over to the gray figure in the black coat, black hat, and black sunglasses sitting motionless at the desk on the other side of the room) … but I don’t think I can get the GM to sign off on any paperwork for at least a few days.

Brassfield hit no home runs this week and was mostly invisible, but still got a single in every game this week and has a 10-game hitting streak. He also still leads the CL in RBI with 20.

Younce is a 29-year-old Rule 5 pick that played with the Rebels as far back as 2054 and somehow still had rookie status. The league is weird sometimes. Of course, those guys are never the 34-year-old catchers that the Raccoons pick up by accident when they were actually shopping for *catheters* for their outlandishly incontinent pitching. Something always leaks over the plate.

Of course, if our GM… (looks over to the gray figure in the black coat, black hat, and black sunglasses sitting motionless at the desk on the other side of the room) … would ever listen to me, then we might find some hidden gems as well. But whenever I point out to him that we could do so much better at shortstop with a high-OBP player, he just supplants smart stats with flowery language about how many bases Lonzo steals, and that’s then usually the end of the discussion.

…unless he says something like, Cristiano, you’ve been in a wheelchair all your life, what do you ******* know about baserunning??

The Raccoons will be on the road next week, visiting Vancouver for four games and Richmond for three. I know that our GM… (looks over to the gray figure in the black coat, black hat, and black sunglasses sitting motionless at the desk on the other side of the room) … can’t travel to Canada, but I am not sure whether Maud can apple-pie him back into shape to go to Virginia.

Fun Fact: On this day in the ABL’s inaugural season, the Raccoons’ Ben Simon hit three home runs in a 9-4 win in Milwaukee.

It was the first 3-homer game in league history, and it cemented Simon’s claim to fame as an early power hitter. He hit 21 home runs for an offensively starved Raccoons team that year, then won the CL home run title with 28 bombs in 1979, when the Raccoons posted their worst-ever season overall by losing 107 games.

He also led the league in strikeouts four times, but still smacked 156 home runs in a 10-year career with the Raccoons, Wolves, and Cyclones, while batting .239 and driving in 759 runs. Five Gold Gloves at three different infield positions, including four up the middle with the Raccoons, also came in handy.

Simon was the Raccoons’ first Hawaiian-born All Star, predating Nick Brown by a quarter of a century, but never played in a playoff game since he departed as free agent after the 1981 season and had no luck with his FL teams, either. Born during the second term of the Truman administration, he is also no longer with us, having passed away the day before the inauguration of President Mathers.