[Westheim]

Raccoons (6-13) vs. Thunder (8-10) – April 25-27, 2061

The last-place Raccoons met the fifth-place Thunder, who were giving up the second-most runs in the CL, but ranked fourth in scoring. The Raccoons were tied for the bottom in runs scored in the CL (as usual), and were giving up the fourth-most runs. The Critters had beaten the Thunder seven times out of nine tries last year, but right now they didn’t look like they could take candy off a three-year-old… The Thunder arrived without outfielder Bernaldin Martaranha and Danny Guzman, who were on the DL.

Projected matchups:
Chance Fox (0-1, 3.38 ERA) vs. Eric Barnes (1-1, 9.88 ERA)
Bobby Herrera (1-0, 3.51 ERA) vs. Ernesto Rios (1-2, 1.09 ERA)
Nick Robinson (0-2, 4.56 ERA) vs. Aaron Harris (1-2, 3.75 ERA)

The Thunder only sent up right-handers against us in this series.

Game 1
OCT: 1B Metz – 3B Soberanes – 2B Woodrome – RF Whitlow – C Burkart – SS Medlock – CF Weant – LF R. Hummel – P Barnes
POR: RF Christopher – SS Lavorano – CF Morris – LF Brassfield – 1B Starr – 2B Nye – C Perez – 3B N. Fox – P C. Fox

While Foxie Brown’s first three starts of the year had been fundamentally solid in the K/BB sense, he was out of sorts for this Monday night game and offered three walks the first time through, barely escaping having the bases loaded in the first inning when Stephen Medlock grounded out to Lonzo, and Tim Weant got himself caught stealing after getting a leadoff walk in the top 2nd. The Coons scored first, though. Lonzo singled and stole a base in the first inning, but was stranded and nobody else reached either until Lonzo came back up with a leadoff double in the fourth. This time Ben Morris drove him in right away, Brassfield walked, and Joel Starr killed the effort with a double play grounder before even Nick Nye’s struggles continued with another lame-duck groundout. Nick Fox hit a single in the fifth, also searching for that elusive .200 mark, but it was Lonzo to lead off the bottom 6th with another single, then racing to third base on another single by Morris, all with nobody out. Brass hit a sac fly, while Starr hit into a fielder’s choice, but with two outs got the early start when Nick Nye hit a fly to deep center that eluded Weant and fell for an RBI double. Perez grounded out to end the inning. Meanwhile Chance Fox had stopped the walking business after the first time through and instead struck out five while holding the Thunder to just one base hit, a double by Andy Metz, through six. He then walked Bruce Burkart to begin the seventh. Medlock whiffed, but Weant singled to shallow center. Randy Hummel hit a grounder hard and right at Starr, who started a 3-6-3 double play to get out of the jam. Infuriatingly, Fox then walked Barnes at the start of the eighth. He got Metz out, then left for Ruben Mendez to face Ed Soberanes and give up a single to the 37-year-old veteran. Ian Woodrome now found a 4-6-3 double play, however, and the Thunder choked themselves out of the inning again. Matt Walters then had a 1-2-3 ninth for once, striking out a pair. 3-0 Furballs! Lavorano 3-4, 2B; Morris 2-4, 2B, RBI; C. Fox 7.1 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 5 BB, 7 K, W (1-1);

That was the first double of the season for Lonzo, the Destroyer.

Game 2
OCT: SS Lira – 2B Woodrome – 1B Metz – RF Whitlow – CF K. Hawkins – 3B Medlock – LF C. Santiago – C Burkart – P E. Rios
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – 1B Starr – RF Brassfield – LF Kozak – 2B Nye – C Perez – 3B Fowler – P B. Herrera

Bobby Herrera gave up nothing but hard contact in the first inning, but the Thunder settled for an Ian Woodrome double and no runs. That was the only Thunder hit the first time through, and the Raccoons settled for a Morris single once through the lineup, neither team getting something worthwhile on the board. Nothing else appeared in the H column until Kyle Hawkins and Jack Kozak traded singles and getting stranded in the fifth. Morris singled and stole second in the bottom 6th, but was left on all the same. And it wasn’t that the two pitchers were cranking out the strikeouts, either. It was just a parade of poor contact, that top of the first inning aside. Tipsy Bobby had four strikeouts by the stretch, and Rios had just one.

Cesar Santiago and Bruce Burkart suddenly assaulted Herrera for a pair of hits in the eighth, but the Thunder didn’t hit for Rios with the go-ahead run on third base and one out, and he struck out, and then Omar Lira grounded out to Fowler. The Raccoons did hit for Herrera with Christopher in the bottom 8th, since Bobby H. was at 103 pitches, but went down in order anyway. Woodrome singled off Mike Lane in the top 9th for some faux threat, while Rios was still in the ballgame to begin the bottom 9th against the top of the order. He got groundouts from Morris and Lonzo, but walked Starr and allowed a single to Brass. Nick Fox batted for Kozak, but flew out to left, and the game went to extras scorelessly.

There were scoreless innings for Bravo and Ricky H. in the 10th and 11th innings, but Ricky Herrera came back in the 12th and allowed a single to Weant, right away followed by a Medlock triple that broke the scoreless yawner wide open, especially after Santiago’s sac fly. The Thunder brought in lefty Ryan Hogues for the bottom 12th, which began with Starr grounding out. Brass singled to center. Tim Fuller hit for Herrera, but flew out to left, followed by a Nye single that brought the homerless Angel Perez to the plate as the winning run. He flew out to center on a 3-1 pitch… 2-0 Thunder. Morris 2-5; Brassfield 2-5; B. Herrera 8.0 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 5 K;

Oh boy.

Game 3
OCT: SS Lira – 3B Soberanes – 2B Woodrome – RF Whitlow – C Burkart – CF K. Hawkins – 1B I. Stone – LF Weant – P Aa. Harris
POR: RF Christopher – SS Lavorano – CF Morris – LF Brassfield – 1B Starr – 2B Nye – C Fuller – 3B N. Fox – P Robinson

Robinson struck out nine and scattered five hits in seven innings of work, with one of those hits being a third-inning jack by Omar Lira for the Thunder’s sole run off him. It was barely enough to reach the stretch with a lead, which originated in the second inning when Brass and Starr reached base to begin the inning, advanced on Nye’s groundout and then scored on Tim Fuller’s double into the right-center gap. Two runs at once! Whoah, what riches!! That was about it for Coons offense, as the Portland Pathetics were held to three hits in six innings, the only other hit being a Morris double later on. When Nye led off the bottom 7th with a single to center, Fuller quickly hit into a double play. Nick Fox then doubled to center, but was stranded when Nick Fowler grounded out to Medlock at third base…

But the brown team still led, 2-1, and LaBat got two outs and Mendez one more in the eighth inning to keep it that way, not allowing a runner on base between them, and allowing Matt Walters to get ready. Christopher led off the bottom 8th with a single, but was caught stealing. Lonzo then singled as well, stole second base successfully, but was stranded regardless. Eric Whitlow drew a walk off Walters in the ninth, but the Thunder couldn’t get a hit and were somehow squeezed out for a series win. 2-1 Blighters. Fuller 1-3, 2B, 2 RBI; Robinson 7.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 9 K, W (1-2);

First Coons win for Nick Robinson, though hardly watchable.

Believe it or not, though, the Raccoons actually poked their fuzzy ears out of the bottom slot in the division with this game and with the Loggers losing on our off day on Thursday. However…

Raccoons (8-14) vs. Loggers (7-14) – April 29-May 1, 2061

…they would be in town to do something about that, and they had already beaten the Raccoons two outta three to begin the season. These were the two worst offenses in the league, and the Loggers were giving up the fifth-fewest runs. They had a -23 run differential, just one marker up on the Coons’ -24 mark.

Projected matchups:
Justin DeRose (1-3, 3.24 ERA) vs. Ernesto Culver (1-3, 3.45 ERA)
Chance Fox (1-1, 2.42 ERA) vs. Roger Pritchard (2-2, 3.70 ERA)
Bobby Herrera (1-0, 2.67 ERA) vs. Julian Dunn (2-1, 4.50 ERA)

Pritchard would be the only southpaw to come up against the Critters this week, who in the meantime decided to skip Angel Alba and his 9.00 ERA, making him available for relief in the first two games of the series.

Game 1
MIL: LF Franks – 2B Garmon – 1B D. Robles – SS F. Carrera – RF Milian – CF Wilks – C M. Reed – 3B Lange – P E. Culver
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – 1B Starr – RF Brassfield – C Perez – 2B Nye – 3B Fowler – LF Ayala – P DeRose

The first chance for the Coons came in the bottom 2nd with a 1-out single for Perez and a Nye double to right-center, which put a pair in scoring position, a rare sight on this homestand. Like in their last game two days earlier, the Raccoons got a 2-run knock from their #7 hitter, this time Fowler with a single to right, and I considered them done for the day with that, but Felix Ayala hit another double and Justin DeRose then turned a 1-2 pitch around for a 2-run single of his own into leftfield…! Morris hit another double, and Lonzo then found the third 2-run single of the inning against a rapidly disintegrating Culver. Starr hit another single, but Brass and Perez struck out to then rather briskly end the hit parade, with Portland up 6-0.

Half an inning later, we had a one-run game on our paws. DeRose, the resentworthy piece of ****, nicked Ralph Lange to get going, and after Culver’s bunt imploded just as badly. Scott Franks singled home a run and reached second on a throw home, then scored on Corey Garmon’s single. Dave Robles grounded out, but with two gone, DeRose walked Fidel Carrera on four pitches, allowed an RBI single to David Milian, threw a wild pitch, and conceded two more runs on a 3-2 single by James Wilks before Mark Reed flew out to deep left. Jesus Christ on a motorcycle!!

The Loggers would tie the game in the fifth against Brad Loveless, who nicked Robles to begin the inning after DeRose had been DisPosed of, and Wilks knocked in the tying run with two outs. Kozak batted for Loveless with two outs and Brass, Perez, and Ayala hogging the bases in the bottom 5th, but grounded out rather gingerly, because why not…

While Alba was then pitching garbage relief from the sixth in a 6-6 game, the Raccoons were in scoring position again in the bottom of the inning, getting Morris on with a walk off Ricky Pippin, while Starr singled. Brass’ groundout moved them to second and third with two outs, and Angel Perez knocked out Pippin with the Coons’ fourth 2-run single of the game, stringing a ball past the reaching Rookie of the Year, Fidel Carrera. Alba would pitch a total of three innings in relief, offering 40 pitches and a homer served up to Robles that cut the lead in half in the top 7th. Lonzo and Starr hit singles in the bottom 8th, but Brass and Perez couldn’t get an insurance run across against righty Ryan Rigby. Walters then axed the Loggers in order, with two strikeouts, to put the game away. 8-7 Critters. Lavorano 2-5, 2 RBI; Starr 2-5; Perez 3-5, 2 RBI; Alba 3.0 IP, 2 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 4 K, W (2-2);

At this point the Loggers had to write off SP Girolamo Pizzichini (1-2, 3.14 ERA) for the year, the 26-year-old being out with a torn flexor tendon in his elbow.

The Raccoons meanwhile were really close to losing their status as a credible big league team and be downgraded to AAA…

Game 2
MIL: CF Franks – RF Milian – 1B D. Robles – SS F. Carrera – 2B Lange – C M. Chavez – LF Wilks – 3B D. Miller – P R. Pritchard
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – RF Brassfield – 1B Starr – C Perez – 2B Nye – 3B N. Fox – LF Ayala – P C. Fox

Whenever the Coons had somebody on base on Saturday, they brought up Chance Fox and he tamely flew out, stranding three in the second inning and two more in the fourth inning. This still made for a tied, scoreless game despite a few deep flies by the Loggers early. Milian flew out to Brass on the warning track in the first, and Robles doubled off the wall, followed by an infield single by Carrera and Lange’s groundout to Lonzo. The Loggers then hit the odd single here and there, but didn’t make anything with those, f.e. Wilks leading off the fifth with an infield single and then right away getting doubled off by Danny Miller’s groundout to Nye. Milian hit a clean single to left-center in the sixth, but Robles’ 6-4-3 ended the inning. Fox then came up in the bottom 6th again with Nye and Ayala on base after having drawn walks, and two outs. He whiffed.

The game remained scoreless through seven; Lonzo singled with one out in the bottom 7th to send Pritchard home, and Randy Birnbaum nicked Starr with two outs, but got Perez to pop out to strand another pair of Critters. Fox didn’t get through the eighth inning then. Miller singled and Corey Garmon walked before Franks hit a grounder to short on which Lonzo and Nye couldn’t turn two to end the inning and instead runners were on the corners with two down and right-handed pinch-hitter Tommy Twineham, a 26-year-old rookie, coming up, which sounded like trouble. Mike Lane was brought in, ran a full count, then got Twineham to hack at ball four to end the inning with a miss.

FINALLY, then, the Raccoons broke through and scored in the bottom 8th. Nicks Fox and Fowler scratched a single and a 2-out walk together, and Ben Morris pressed a grounder through between Lange and Robles with just enough juice to get Fox around to score from second base with the game’s first run. Lonzo flew out to Franks, then sat down for the ninth with Fowler taking over short and Walters going into the #2 hole and giving up a leadoff double to Robles. Carrera’s fly to center allowed the tying run to third base, but Lange’s infield roller for the second out markedly did not allow the bumbling Robles to score from there. It was then the ex-Coon Marcos Chavez to bat with two outs. Walters somehow had no interest to challenge him and threw him garbage four times to walk him, then got Wilks to pop out to shallow right to end the game. 1-0 Blighters. Lavorano 2-5; Nye 1-2, 2 BB, 2B; Ayala 0-1, 3 BB; C. Fox 7.2 IP, 6 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 5 K;

Chance Fox left seven on base. Sucker.

Game 3
MIL: LF Franks – 2B Garmon – 1B D. Robles – SS F. Carrera – RF Milian – CF Wilks – C M. Reed – 3B D. Miller – P Dunn
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – 1B Starr – LF Brassfield – 3B Fowler – C Fuller – 2B Bean – RF Christopher – P B. Herrera

The Loggers rushed Bobby Herrera for four hits and three runs in the first inning, beginning with an infield single for Franks, but Garmon hit a sharp single after that, and Carrera’s RBI double, Milian’s sac fly, and Wilks’ RBI double brought in the runs galore. It sure felt like ballgame right then and there, and it didn’t get better, because not only did the Raccoons immediately not do anything to alleviate the situation, but the Loggers tacked on a run in the third inning with a Robles double and Milian’s RBI single, 4-0.

Herrera went six without an improvement in the score before the Loggers doubled the score in the seventh inning against mostly Brad Useless, who walked FOUR *and* made an error, giving up three runs on a pair of bases-loaded freebies and Robles’ sac fly to center, and when Bravo replaced him, Milian hit another RBI single to double the score to 8-0. Wilks grounded out to strand a pair. Nick Nye then picked this blowout and a pointless pinch-hitting appearance with two outs in the bottom 7th and Fowler and Christopher on base to hit a 3-piece, his first homer of the year, and it was barely May…

Hits by Miller and Franks against Ricky H. gave the Loggers another run in the eighth, while Fowler hit a sac fly after Starr and Brassfield got on in the bottom 8th. Fuller drove in Brass with a 2-out single, which got the Raccoons all the way back into slam range… 9-5 Loggers. Nye (PH) 1-1, HR, 3 RBI;

In other news

April 27 – LVA SP Steve Hunter (2-1, 2.09 ERA) throws a 1-hitter against the Canadiens, striking out nine in the 5-0 win, with only a single by VAN 1B Jose Campos (.373, 7 HR, 18 RBI) between him and a no-hitter.
April 28 – Vancouver LF/CF Steve Scarpa (.342, 0 HR, 8 RBI) got a diagnosis of a frayed posterior cruciate ligament and was out for the season.
April 28 – NYC SP Ryan Spehar (.230, 0 HR, 13 RBI) suffers a shoulder injury in an on-base collision and will miss up to three weeks.
April 29 – Titans CL Jason Posey (1-1, 5.14 ERA, 4 SV) puts away the 300th game of his career, a 2-1 win against the Indians. Posey, age 35, got his first 296 saves for FL West teams, foremost the Wolves, and was an integral part of the bullpen of the Gold Sox that won four straight championships from 2049 to 2052. He was 62-54 with a 2.73 ERA and 798 strikeouts for his career and twice led the FL in saves.

FL Player of the Week: PIT C Nick Dingman (.289, 7 HR, 21 RBI), crushing it at .348 (8-23) with 6 HR, 11 RBI
CL Player of the Week: CHA RF/LF Danny Ceballos (.422, 0 HR, 11 RBI), poking .565 (13-23) with 7 RBI

FL Hitter of the Month: TOP INF Alex de los Santos (.333, 3 HR, 16 RBI)
CL Hitter of the Month: SFB RF/LF/1B Jose Escalera (.394, 2 HR, 16 RBI)
FL Pitcher of the Month: CIN SP Cameron Parks (6-0, 2.25 ERA)
CL Pitcher of the Month: ATL SP Vic Harman (4-1, 3.10 ERA)
FL Rookie of the Month: TOP RF/LF/1B Danny Hernandez (.356, 1 HR, 14 RBI)
CL Rookie of the Month: LVA OF/1B Jonathan Echols (.316, 1 HR, 10 RBI)

Complaints and stuff

Chance Fox had a 1.87 ERA in April, much better than Harman. He struck out 30 batters in 33.2 innings, while keeping the walks to ten. Harman struck out 42 against eight walks, but also gave up six homers, while Foxie Brown gave up only three.

I’m not saying Fox should have been Pitcher of the Month, I’m saying I don’t see how Harman got there other than by business-as-usual as the reigning Pitcher of the Year for the CL.

Omar Sanchez signed a 6-year, $47.4M extension with the Crusaders this week. I wouldn’t want to pay $47.40 for anybody on this ******* roster. I’d rather have a donut with rainbow sprinkles on it. For $47.40, I can even get two of those!

The Raccoons take their sucking outta town now. Yes, even during this 4-2 week they still sucked! Six of our next seven years will be on the road. We start with a trip East to see the Titans and Miners next week, with six cross-country trips on the plate this month. Sometimes I feel that Honeypaws schedules these games, since he has nothing but disdain in his heart for humanity.

Fun Fact: Andy Metz leads the league with 10 homers.

The Raccoons can’t put together and three living and able players’ output to make up ten.

Bottoms in runs scored…! Feels like one of those summers where everything not nailed down gets traded for future disappointment.

Everything not nailed down or named Lonzo.