[Westheim]

Raccoons (11-8) @ Thunder (9-10) – April 25-27, 2062

Stop four of four on the long road trip was Oklahoma City, after an off day on Monday. The Thunder were in ties for tenth place in both runs scored and runs allowed after 19 games, with a -22 run differential (Critters: +5). With Mark Jacobs, Omar Lira, and Eric Whitlow they had also already piled up an impressive amount of regulars on the DL. We had lost last year’s duel with the Thunder, six games to three.

Projected matchups:
Angel Alba (0-2, 5.74 ERA) vs. Aaron Harris (2-1, 3.96 ERA)
Tyler Riddle (1-1, 2.96 ERA) vs. Ernesto Rios (1-0, 5.25 ERA)
Bobby Herrera (4-0, 1.72 ERA) vs. Eric Barnes (0-3, 10.50 ERA)

With Jacobs just having dropped from the rotation to the DL, there was a bit of flux going on here. We did not expect to see any left-handers in this series, though.

Game 1
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – 1B Starr – C Perez – RF Christopher – LF Brassfield – 2B White – 3B Bribiesca – P Alba
OCT: CF B. Fish – 1B I. Stone – 2B Spehar – RF R. Hummel – C Preston – LF D. Guzman – SS E. Ortiz – 3B Medlock – P Aa. Harris

Harris retired the first 11 Critters he faced, which already included a 45-minute rain delay, which didn’t help Angel Alba unclench in any way. The youngster gave up a run on Steve Preston and Edwin Ortiz singles in the second inning, then after the delay a 2-run homer to Randy Hummel in the third inning for the Thunder to take a 3-0 lead at a time when the Portlanders were still searching for first base. This was already most of what there was to tell about this game. Alba was gone after five innings, while Harris remained certainly dominant through six innings, and didn’t give up a run until the eighth when Jim White lobbed a leadoff double to left and was scored on two groundouts by Bribiesca and Tomlin. No further Raccoons reached base in the game, and they went down very meekly indeed. 3-1 Thunder. Mata (PH) 1-1; DeRose 2.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 1 K;

Bribiesca (.292, 1 HR, 1 RBI) went on waivers after this game to make room for Nick Fox coming off the DL, while Nick Nye started a rehab assignment with the Alley Cats and was expected to do the maximum allowable 20-day course down there.

Game 2
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – 1B Starr – C Perez – RF Christopher – LF Brassfield – 2B White – 3B N. Fox – P Riddle
OCT: 2B Spehar – C Mowery – SS McNeal – 3B Medlock – LF Torrence – RF R. Hummel – 1B J. Caballero – CF B. Fish – P E. Rios

First time through, Starr hit a single, and that was about that; meanwhile the Raccoons’ starter just loved to put a Thunder on base with no outs or one out and then made it a whole Riddle about which odd way he might strand him. In the second, it was a double play that Jorge Caballero hit into, in the third a lineout to Morris in somewhat shallow center that shooed the runner back to third base, and in the fourth luck finally ran out when Josh McNeal reached on an error by Starr to begin the inning and Stephen Medlock socked a double to left after that. Ethan Torrence hit a sac fly for an unearned 1-0 lead, but Riddle kept Medlock in scoring position with a pop and a K.

Jim White had a single for Portland in the fifth inning, and that was it for offense all the way to the stretch. Riddle worked himself up with all the runners and only went six innings, with Murdock doing away with the 7-8-9 batters in order in the bottom 7th, still keeping the score at 1-0 Thunder. Rios retired the Coons in order in the eighth, and Middleton put Ryan Spehar and Ian Stone on the corners with singles in the bottom 8th before Ricky H. came in and got a double play grounder to bugger out of the inning from Steve Preston, batting for Medlock. Rios remained undeterred, retired Ayala, Morris, and Tomlin in order in the ninth inning, and got away with an unearned 2-hit shutout. 1-0 Thunder.

Ah, we have reached *that* part of the season. Y’know, that part that nobody likes, where they all play like imbeciles…

Desperate lineup shakeup on Thursday, more “just because” and less with any sense or system to it.

Game 3
POR: CF Morris – RF Christopher – LF Mata – 1B Starr – C Arellano – SS Bean – 2B White – 3B N. Fox – P B. Herrera
OCT: CF B. Fish – 1B I .Stone – 2B Spehar – C Preston – LF D. Guzman – SS E. Ortiz – RF Meister – 3B Medlock – P E. Barnes

Starr and Arellano opened the second inning with singles for some ill-advised excitement before there miserable outs kept them on base. Instead, Bobby Herrera got bleached for four runs in the bottom 2nd, starting with a leadoff walk to Danny Guzman. Edwin Ortiz singled him to third and he scored on Zach Meister’s groundout, but the real depressing event was Barnes’ 2-out RBI single, swiftly followed by Bobby Fish’s homer to right that made it 4-0.

Credits paid to Bobby H. after the game were limited to the five shutout innings he added *after* he got bombed in the second inning, during which is own team still couldn’t find a way to pull their fuzzy heads out of their own equally fuzzy bum holes and the score remained 4-0 through seven innings. When that changed in the eighth it was merely down to Ryan Sullivan remaining useless and giving up a run on two walks and an RBI single for Ortiz. Arellano got nicked and Brassfield got a single in the ninth to get Barnes out of the game, but the team was still shut out for the second consecutive day when Dave Lister restored order and retired Angel Perez and Felix Ayala to complete an utterly miserable sweep. 5-0 Thunder. Arellano 2-3; Brassfield (PH) 1-1;

…and suddenly we were in fifth place and ahead of only the Loggers.

The Loggers…!

Raccoons (11-11) vs. Loggers (9-12) – April 28-30, 2062

The Loggers had won three in a row so we were as dead as disco, basically. Up 2-1 in the season series, the Raccoons, who had suddenly forgotten how to play baseball, were up against the #5 offense and #7 pitching in the league, and despite being three games under .500 and in last place, the Loggers had a +8 run differential. Woe is us.

Projected matchups:
Nick Robinson (2-2, 3.42 ERA) vs. Jake Frensley (1-1, 5.49 ERA)
Chance Fox (1-0, 3.91 ERA) vs. Jesus Hinojosa (1-3, 3.73 ERA)
Angel Alba (0-3, 5.66 ERA) vs. Larry Wilson (2-1, 3.90 ERA)

No southpaws this week! The Loggers had Phil Reder, Roberto Arcos, Danny Miller and pitcher Girolamo Pizzichini on the DL, giving an opportunity to 24-year-old Frensley, who would make his third ABL start, and who looked like he could really use the minimum salary that accompanied playing in the big leagues to finally buy himself a cheeseburger to combat the starvation.

Joe-Chris was hitting 2-for-27 entering the series. It was 2-for-21 for White, and a baffling 0-for-22 with NO STRIKEOUTS for Lonzo…!!

Game 1
MIL: CF Franks – LF Garmon – 1B D. Robles – SS F. Carrera – RF Milian – 3B Benitez – 2B M. Tovar – C Jack – P Frensley
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – 1B Starr – C Perez – LF Mata – RF Brassfield – 2B White – 3B Bean – P Robinson

I was kinda hoping the Raccoons would go out there and just simply kill that rookie after finally getting to sleep in their own baskets for the first time in two weeks, but nah. Instead Robinson gave up two singles to Scott Franks and Corey Garmon to begin the game, but kept them on base with three straight outs to end the top 1st. In the second, he gave up another two singles to Mike Tovar and J.P. Jack, then an RBI single and the first career hit overall to Frensley, and then still milled around long enough to give up a bases-clearing double to Dave Robles with two outs. The only runner Frensley allowed the first time through was Bean, who got decked and then was left stranded in the bottom 3rd.

Robinson and the blood stains the Loggers had beaten out of him lingered into the sixth inning, when he put another pair of runners on base which Middleton then conceded to score. At this point Frensley was still pitching a no-hitter that was only broken up on Jon Bean’s leadoff single in the bottom 6th. That remained the only base hit the Raccoons got against Frensley, and their last base runner overall. 6-0 Loggers. Bean 1-2;

Lonzo: 0-26 with 0 K

At this point it was clear that it was not as much an issue with the players as the baseball gods having a good old giggle up there. (shakes fist skywards)

Game 2
MIL: CF Franks – LF Garmon – 1B D. Robles – SS F. Carrera – RF Milian – 3B Benitez – 2B Wall – C Jack – P Hinojosa
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – 1B Starr – C Perez – RF Brassfield – LF Ayala – 2B Bean – 3B N. Fox – P C. Fox

Tony Benitez legged out a 2-out roller on the infield for a 45-foot single with the bases loaded in the first inning, and that was the first base knock for Milwaukee because Chance Fudgypaws had loaded them up entirely with walks (Garmon, Robles) and drillings (Fidel Carrera). Josh Wall struck out to leave the bases loaded, which gave Fox three K in the inning, but no less ire from his GM.

The Raccoons’ futility run ended in the bottom 1st with Ben Morris’ tripling to right and getting home on a Lonzo single, which at least kept the rotten run at 0-26, and – as a bonus – tied the ******* ballgame. There was no reasoning with Chance Fox in this game however. He needed 53 pitches through TWO innings, and was behind 2-1 after the latter one, allowing a single to the ******* opposing pitcher, another walk to Corey Garmon, and then an RBI double to Robles before Carrera grounded out to Bean to leave a pair in scoring position. (shakes head while nervously unscrewing a bottle of Capt’n Coma)

Fox was gone after five, but not without serving up a 2-run homer to former useless Raccoons infielder Tony Benitez that ran the score to 4-1. The game dragged on and the bottle drained itself at an alarming pace – Shoo! Honeypaws! Willlllou geehhaway frommmm-y lllll juice!? (head sinks into the nearest pillow) – but the Raccoons would actually put runners on the corners (!!) with one out in the bottom 7th when Brass and Ayala hit staggering back-to-back singles. Bean hit a sac fly and Nick Fox popped out, so that was that.

Bottom 8th, and Jim White, who had arrived in a double switch with Middleton in the previous half-inning, hit a leadoff single in the #9 spot. Morris flew out to center before Luckless Lonzo returned, the spill up/down to 0-for-28 and still with no strikeouts. And he FINALLY chucked right through the knot that was binding him with a clean single to left…! Huzzah! Of course the Coons still didn’t score no ******* run in the inning because Starr’s fly to center was snatched by Scott Franks on the slide, and Perez grounded out easily. The Loggers got a run off Middleton instead in the ninth, and the Raccoons lost their fifth straight. 5-2 Loggers. White 1-1;

Maud, do you think Adam Valdes will sell the team?

Maybe with the proceeds, he could buy a REAL baseball team!

Game 3
MIL: CF Franks – 2B Lange – SS F. Carrera – 1B D. Robles – C Waker – RF Milian – LF Whetstine – 3B Benitez – P Ruggiero
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – RF Christopher – 1B Tomlin – LF Brassfield – C Arellano – 2B White – 3B N. Fox – P Alba

Ralph Lange, Fidel Carrera, and Tristan Waker ticked singles off Alba in the first inning as Milwaukee took a 1-0 lead right away. That 1-0 score stood for a good long while, which was perhaps surprising; not because you would have expected the Raccoons to do anything against Bob Ruggiero (3-2, 3.51 ERA), which they – for the record – didn’t, but because you would have expected Alba to get whacked around some more. As it was, Alba pitched all the way to the stretch without allowing another run and while conceding just two more base hits. Alas, the Raccoons were … oh my. Lonzo singled again in the bottom 1st and was doubled off by Christopher. Brass at one point hit a double and died on base. Morris hit another double but was left on with Lonzo’s groundout and Christopher whiffing, and by then it was already the eighth inning and the Raccoons had completely hibernated through another ******* ballgame. When we tried to knock the rust off Matt Walters in the ninth inning, he threw one pitch, then immediately drew attention from the trainer and left the game with Luis Silva. DeRose finished that inning, and the Raccoons got a leadoff single from Forbes Tomlin to left against Ruggiero to start the home half of the ninth. Brass struck out, and Joel Starr batted for Arellano and socked a ball to deep left – but it was caught on the warning track by Chad Whetstine. Jon Bean batted for White, and he also hit a ball to deep left…! – and that was also caught on the warning track by Chad Whetstine. 1-0 Loggers. Christopher 2-4, 2B; Alba 7.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 0 BB, 7 K, L (0-4);

In other news

April 24 – Denver’s SP Aaron Sciuto (1-2, 4.43 ERA) 3-hits the Capitals in an 8-0 shutout.
April 24 – Falcons 3B Chad O’Donnell (.232, 3 HR, 7 RBI) is expected to miss the rest of the season with a fracture in his kneecap.
April 25 – The Stars and Miners remain tied at five into the 12th inning when the Stars explode for another five runs all at once and get away with a 10-5 win.
April 26 - Atlanta C Marco Nieto (.325, 2 HR, 4 RBI) has his hitting streak up to 25 games with a double in a 6-3 win against the Indians.
April 27 – New York would be without 1B/RF/LF Aubrey Austin (.207, 2 HR, 8 RBI) for at least three weeks after the 36-year-old suffered an oblique strain.
April 28 – BOS SP Jason Brenize (3-1, 2.13 ERA) 2-hits the Crusaders in a 7-0 shutout, whiffing seven.
April 28 – ATL C Marco Nieto (.325, 2 HR, 8 RBI) sees his hitting streak end at 26 games after going 0-for-3 in a 6-3 loss to the Bayhawks in Atlanta.
April 29 – Knights SP Joe Napier (2-1, 2.65 ERA) pitches a 2-hit shutout against the Bayhawks for a 2-0 win.

FL Player of the Week: NAS OF Isaiah Birth (.453, 2 HR, 11 RBI), hitting .667 (14-21) with 2 HR, 7 RBI
CL Player of the Week: ATL 2B/SS Ken Sowell (.302, 6 HR, 20 RBI), batting .476 (10-21) with 2 HR, 7 RBI

FL Hitter of the Month: TOP INF Alex de los Santos (.382, 6 HR, 24 RBI)
CL Hitter of the Month: SFB 2B/LF Armando Montoya (.351, 8 HR, 30 RBI)
FL Pitcher of the Month: DAL SP Alex Quevedo (4-0, 0.91 ERA)
CL Pitcher of the Month: VAN CL Erik Swain (3-0, 1.20 ERA, 7 SV)
FL Rookie of the Month: DEN C Lorenzo Marquez (.322, 6 HR, 26 RBI)
CL Rookie of the Month: IND RF/LF/1B Bryan Johnston (.448, 2 HR, 8 RBI)

Complaints and stuff

(weeping noises from underneath the pillows on the trusty brown couch, with only Honeypaws’ tail sticking out from beneath the cushions)

Fun Fact: What was more impressive: Bobby Herrera’s 25-inning scoreless streak, or the entire ******* team not being able to pull a single run out of their collective tushes for *28* innings.

(opens snout)

(closes snout)