[Westheim]

Welcome to the Portland Flea Markets, where everything is available for a tenner now!

And boy, did we make a deal on Monday. There was not much left on the team on Monday night.

Trade

The Raccoons and the Capitals swung a huge deal on Monday, exchanging six players between them. The Capitals received SP Bobby Herrera (8-7, 3.52 ERA), SP Nick Robinson (12-4, 3.22 ERA), and C Angel Perez (.261, 9 HR, 45 RBI) for three prospects, leaving the Raccoons with no rotation to speak of and no catcher worth talking about, while the Capitals could make one final push to erase a 9 1/2 game deficit in the FL East, which they thought was doable.

The Raccoons received some very fine youngsters in the deal: #12 prospect AAA SP Jeff Applegate (also a former #12 pick), who was very close to the majors at age 22, but not *quite* ready yet, #137 prospect AA SP Sandy Pineda, a left-hander aged 21 and former #31 pick, and a 24-year-old OF Kyle Pisciotti, who was not ranked. All three were actually assigned to St. Pete, even though only Applegate had been in AAA Modesto, with the other two coming from AA Lincoln.

The Raccoons brought back John Bollinger for the rotation. The other spot would be taken by Middleton, who was bickering about his role anyway, and who was not movable even for the remainder of his salary. Right-hander Rich Read returned from St. Pete; he had been very harshly treated in four games with the Coons last year. The backup catcher spot was taken by Cortez Chavez, who had last featured for the Raccoons three years ago and had hit nicely for the Alley Cats last year, but was down to .205 this season and little more than an animate bench warmer behind … uh, Arellano.

Two long months ahead.

Raccoons (49-50) vs. Bayhawks (46-51) – July 25-27, 2062

The hope now was that the next couple of teams facing the Raccoons would not have scouting reports on the bums facing them and we’d sneak a few more wins that way. The Bayhawks had their own problems – these two teams were a far howl from the CLCS last season. They were tied for fifth in runs scored, but allowed the third-most runs with a -25 run differential. Their rotation was the worst in the CL. They were up 3-0 on the Raccoons though this year.

Projected matchups:
Angel Alba (7-8, 2.71 ERA)* vs. Joe Chalmers (7-8, 3.60 ERA)
Chance Fox (4-8, 4.31 ERA) vs. Jeff Crowley (7-4, 4.37 ERA)
Adam Middleton (3-4, 3.89 ERA) vs. Hector Montenegro (5-7, 5.49 ERA)

Only right-handers coming up here.

Game 1
SFB: SS X. Reyes – RF Laws – LF Anker – 2B A. Montoya – 3B D. Sandoval – 1B Escalera – C Mathews – CF Echols – P Chalmers
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – 1B Starr – LF Crumble – RF Corral – 2B White – 3B N. Fowler – C Arellano – P Alba

Alba mauled Scott Laws’ hand right away with a fastball and the Bayhawks had to replace him with the ancient Aaron Walker. They also couldn’t score early on, while the Raccoons loaded the bases in the bottom 2nd with a Crumble single, Corral reaching on an error by Xavier Reyes, and then Fowler getting plonked with one out. Arellano struck out, Angel flew out to center, and that ended the inning.

The Baybirds then suffered both injury AND insult in the bottom 3rd. Ben Morris led off with a single to center, then stole second. Kyle Mathews’ throw got past Armando Montoya at second base, and Morris scampered on to third. Lonzo then brought in the game’s first run with a looper to left-center, which Grant Anker caught in a tumble, but then remained on the ground for about six minutes before being picked up by the trainer and centerfielder Jonathan Echols and slowly walked off the field. Morris had scored on the play, 1-0 Coons on the sac fly, and the Baybirds had to replace Anker, the 2061 Player of the Year, with Bobby Grewe, and were now all out of backup outfielders after just two-and-a-half innings. Malik Crumble rubbed it in with a 2-out homer to left, and the inning after that Fowler and Arellano somehow stumbled to the corners with one out. Alba popped out, but Morris singled to center to get Fowler home, 3-0, while Lonzo grounded out to Reyes to strand a pair.

Alba was then knocked out in the fifth inning* after surrendering a bunch of rockets and a run to the Bayhawks, starting with a sharp leadoff single by Jonathan Echols, and a Reyes RBI double. The Raccoons got out of the inning with Erickson, who together with Pohlmann got the team to the stretch with Portland still up 3-1. Murdock went out for the eighth inning, got two outs, then allowed a single to Armando Montoya. With the left-handed Dan Sandoval and Jose Escalera next, the Raccoons moved for Matt Walters and a 4-out save. Sandoval grounded out, which ended the inning. Jorge Moreno after a few days on the roster made his major league debut in the bottom 8th with a pinch-hit single, but was left on base. The ninth began with an Escalera blooper for a single, but Walters then retired the next three on a pop, a grounder to Starr, and a fly to Christopher. No strikeouts. 3-1 Raccoons. Morris 2-4, RBI; Crumble 2-4, HR, RBI; Moreno (PH) 1-1;

Nick Nye went for another rehab assignment in AAA on Wednesday.

The Bayhawks brought up a different right-hander for the second game in Jon Mendosa (4-7, 5.97 ERA).

Game 2
SFB: SS X. Reyes – CF Echols – RF Pepper – 2B A. Montoya – LF A. Walker – 3B D. Sandoval – 1B Escalera – C Mathews – P J. Mendosa
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – 1B Starr – LF Crumble – RF Corral – 2B White – 3B N. Fowler – C Arellano – P C. Fox

The Bayhawks got Echols on with a single, but he was caught stealing, then lost their third outfielder in ten innings when Craig Pepper legged out a triple, but also legged out a leg, and since Tuesday’s casualties were still clogging their roster, they now had to send rookie shortstop Dustin Cox into the outfield to make up the numbers. For consolation, they scored two unearned runs when the inning continued with a gross throwing error by Fowler on Montoya’s grounder and singles hit by Aaron Walker and Dan Sandoval before Escalera finally went down on strikes against the very punchable Fox. The Raccoons answered briskly, with Lonzo hitting a first-inning single and taking his 32nd base of the year, then came home on Starr’s single to left-center. Crumble refused to crumble and hit a score-flipping 2-piece over the fence in left, 3-2 Raccoons. Jim White and Fowler then hit 2-out singles in the inning, but Arellano went down on strikes and that was that.

Fox held up for the time being, hit a single his first time up, but was left on in that second inning. Mendosa nicked Crumble to begin the bottom 3rd, and Jose Corral came through with a belter to deep center that didn’t go out, but eluded Echols for an RBI triple. This was Corral’s 52nd ABL at-bat, and he had yet to whack one out. At least he scored on Jim White’s groundout, 5-2.

Xavier Reyes hit a leadoff single in the fifth and then stole second base, wagging an index finger at Lonzo there, because that steal put Reyes at 33, and alone for the CL lead again. Echols walked, but Cox rolled into a double play, 6-4-3. Fox got counseling before facing Montoya, but still gave up an RBI single to the Bayhawks’ only surviving star, then struck out Walker to end the inning at least, and the Raccoons answered in the bottom 5th, which Starr opened with a walk, while White hit a shy single with two outs. There was nothing shy about the 395-foot, 3-piece bomb that Nick Fowler hit off Larry Colwell after that.

Fox got through six before Jorge Moreno batted for him and drew a leadoff walk off Jesse Connors, who allowed singles to Morris and Lonzo to fill up the bags with nobody out. Kozak batted for Starr and lined one right into Connors’ back pocket for the first out. Things crumbled for good with a pop on the infield and a K on Corral. While the Coons went to Rich Read from here, the Bayhawks got more hurt inflicted on their pen in the eighth inning. Morris reached base against Bill Goda, who then served up back-to-back homers to Kozak and Crumble to explode the score further and get the Coons into double digits. The Raccoons meanwhile got a 3-inning save from Read, who was not seriously threatened by the diminished Bayhawks lineup in the final innings. 11-3 Furballs! Morris 2-5; Lavorano 2-5; Starr 1-2, BB, RBI; Kozak (PH) 1-2, HR, 2 RBI; Crumble 2-4, 2 HR, 3 RBI; Bean (PH) 1-1; Fowler 2-5, HR, 3 RBI; C. Fox 6.0 IP, 9 H, 3 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 5 K, W (5-8) and 1-2; Read 3.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K, SV (1);

Grant Anker (.244, 12 HR, 46 RBI) was off to the DL with a sprained ankle by Thursday, with Laws ruled day-to-day with a bad bruise.

Interlude: Waiver claim

On Thursday, the Raccoons claimed right-handed MR Corey Barrett, age 28, off waivers by the Condors. Barrett had not pitched in the majors all year, but had a 1.85 ERA as closer in AAA, and had been snatched as the Condors tried to get him off the 40-man roster. Barrett, a former ninth-round pick, had 29 major league appearances with Tijuana in previous seasons, going 1-0 with a 3.70 ERA and three saves.

He was not activated ahead of the series finale, but was likely to take the spot of Erickson rather soon.

Raccoons (49-50) vs. Bayhawks (46-51) – July 25-27, 2062

Game 3
SFB: SS X. Reyes – CF Echols – 2B A. Montoya – 3B D. Sandoval – RF Laws – LF Escalera – 1B P. Fowler – C Mathews – P Crowley
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – 1B Starr – LF Crumble – 3B N. Fowler – 2B White – RF Moreno – C Chavez – P Middleton

Scott Laws double in two runs as the Bayhawks pounded Middleton for four straight hits and three runs in the top of the first inning, but then jammed his thumb sliding into second base and had to come out of another game in this rotten series, replaced by Walker, who scored on Escalera’s single to make it 3-0. Middleton continued to drown, loading the bags with a Crowley (!) single and two walks in the top 2nd before Montoya hit into an uncharacteristic double play to dissolve the threat. Montoya was more successful with two outs in the fourth, hitting an RBI single for the fourth and final run off Middleton, who needed 85 pitches to make it this far into a proper whacking and wasn’t seen again after that, but also managed to strike out on a bunt in between giving up all the runs.

Crowley controlled the Furballs, who got four outs from the remains of Ricky H., then went to Erickson in a double switch that put him in the #7 hole with Kozak replacing Moreno. Erickson got five outs sandwiching Lonzo drawing a walk and stealing #33 to tie up Reyes once more. He was left on, but Crumble socked a triple to lead off the bottom 7th and scored on White’s sac fly after a poor pop by Fowler, which got the team on the board at least, even though they were still down 4-1 on just three hits. When Rocco gave up a Mathews double and an RBI single to Crowley, the gap was four again, and I couldn’t help but squish Honeypaws tighter into my chest and shove the bottle of Capt’n Coma deeper into my throat. That didn’t stop Armando Montoya from taking Murdock deep to left for an extra run in the ninth. 6-1 Bayhawks.

Erickson (1-0, 6.00 ERA) was then indeed sent back to AAA and the Coons activated Barrett for the weekend series with the Condors, where he had just come from.

Raccoons (51-51) vs. Condors (61-42) – July 28-30, 2062

These two teams were in the bottom three in the CL in runs scored. How were the Condors leading the South without scoring? Well, they also weren’t giving up any runs, just 3.3 markers per game against that pitching staff… They were up 4-2 in the season series, which would come to a close on this weekend.

Projected matchups:
Freddy Castillo (1-0, 1.35 ERA) vs. Brett Bebout (2-1, 3.09 ERA)
John Bollinger (2-3, 4.81 ERA) vs. Edgar Mauricio (6-9, 3.42 ERA)
Angel Alba (7-8, 2.69 ERA) vs. Kodai Koga (10-8, 3.43 ERA)

Again, only right-handed pitchers coming up here.

We were in a string of 17 games in 16 days, so what little remained in terms of regulars might get a day off this weekend, especially if it bats right-handed. Like, uh, Lonzo.

Game 1
TIJ: CF Asencio – RF Alf. Mendez – 3B Frasher – SS C. Ramsey – 1B Metz – C Maresh – LF E. Maldonado – 2B F. Serrano – P Bebout
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – 1B Starr – LF Crumble – 3B Fowler – RF Corral – 2B White – C Arellano – P Castillo

Castillo walked the first two batters in his second ABL start, but also got out of the inning with a 6-4-3 double play by Casey Ramsey after Eric Frasher had flown out to Morris; however, Lonzo also found a double play after Ben Morris drew a leadoff walk in the bottom 1st. The game was a bit of a nothing contest from there until the fourth when an in-between sharp Castillo suddenly allowed three straight 1-out singles to Ramsey, Metz, and Chris Maresh, who drove in the game’s first run, then nicked Elmer Maldonado before getting another double play out of Franklin Serrano to save his bacon for more innings.

The Critters didn’t get a base hit until Jim White hit a 1-out single in the bottom 5th, following a walk drawn by Jose Corral. Arellano flew out to center before the 22-year-old rookie Bebout (pronounced: Bay-boo! …apparently) inexplicably offered a 2-out walk to the Critters pitcher, courting disaster and receiving it when Ben Morris dished a bases-clearing triple into the left-center gap to flip the score around. Lonzo flew out to left to keep him on third base and the score at 3-1.

Castillo pitched one more inning, allowing a run after Andy Metz hit a double – and hurt himself and had to hobble off with a quad strain that would send him to the DL. Jason Sturgeon replaced him, and … Slappy, who laid all these landmines out there!? … Maresh’s single and a Maldonado sac fly got the score down to 3-2, but Castillo finished the inning against Bay-Boo.

Murdock tumbled, gave up a double to Alf Mendez and a walk to Frasher in the seventh, but didn’t quite fall and got out of the inning against Ramsey and Sturgeon. Murdock got Maresh to ground out at the start of the eighth, then yielded for Rocco, who blew the skinny lead by hanging one to Elmer Maldonado that didn’t come back down this side of the Columbia. Nick Fox’ pinch-hit single in the bottom 8th went nowhere, and Matt Walters had a 1-2-3 ninth, running three full counts against the 1-2-3 in the Condors order. Two groundouts, and then Frasher swung over ball four for – finally! – a strikeout, but I could already see Cristiano type feverishly into his laptop and it made me dizzy.

The game then still went to extras with lefty Joe Cash leaving the Critters broke in the bottom 9th. Newcomer Cody Barrett was tossed into the tenth inning, gave up a 1-out triple to left to Sturgeon – careful, don’t hurt yourself, we have tripping hazards out there – and then struck out backup catcher Salvatore Bera and got Crumble to rush down a Maldonado fly in left-center to actually avoid giving up the run. The Coons went on to Pohlmann, who gave them three innings scattering three singles and didn’t allow a run until his spot led off the bottom 13th and with the Condors unveiling a new righty in Miguel Batista, the Coons sent Jon Bean to pinch-hit (Cortez Chavez was also still available). Bean grounded out, Morris singled, but was forced out by Lonzo, and Starr also grounded out. Oh god, we’re gonna play 27 innings today…

Rich Read got the ball in the 14th and in all likelihood would be back in the minors tomorrow then. The only other reliever still available was Ricky H., who was so washed that you couldn’t send him up against a mostly righty lineup anyway. Ramsey hit a 2-out single off Read and stole second in the 14th inning, but Sturgeon then struck out to keep him at second base. Maldonado got on in the 15th with a single, but was also stranded as Read finished his second inning of work. Batista entered his third inning in the bottom 15th, and finally the Raccoons got an early paw up when Jim White peppered a ball into the right-center gap, then legged it out for a leadoff triple! When Arellano flew out to Asencio in center, White went for it – and was thrown out at the plate. (bangs head against the nearest hard surface) Read managed another scoreless inning as the Condors scattered 16 hits in 16 innings in the most inefficient way possible, while the Raccoons entered the bottom 16th on SIX base hits. Morris’ leadoff single in the 16th made it seven – and still against Batista. Jon Bean had earlier remained in the game at short so we could get more outta Read, who was now hit for in Lonzo’s spot with Chavez, the last twig on the bench. Batista balked Morris to second base before Chavez made a ****** out, after which Starr was walked intentionally to get to Malik Crumble, who had torn the Baybirds all sorts of holes during the week, but was 0-for-6 in this game. He flew out to center, moving Morris to third base for Fowler to hit with two outs. Fowler was also 0-for-6 at this stage, but who was even counting anymore. At least he ended the BLOODY BALLGAME with a single to center. It was a crawloff. 4-3 Raccoons. Morris 3-6, BB, 3B, 3 RBI; White 2-6, 3B; N. Fox (PH) 1-1; Pohlmann 3.0 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K; Read 3.0 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K, W (1-0);

All four o’ my paws were asleep by the end o’ this one…

After 80 pitches in three days and with the pen in a dire strait once more, Rich Read (1-0, 0.00 ERA) was sent back to AAA after this game and with Barton unavailable, Abrams awful, and Erickson just having been dumped, we brought up another debutant in 23-year-old right-hander Daniel Benitez, who had just been converted to a garbage reliever with the Alley Cats, because he pitched like garbage (4.87 ERA in AAA). He had been a $240k investment in the 2057 July IFA bidding round.

Game 2
TIJ: CF Asencio – RF Alf. Mendez – SS C. Ramsey – 3B Frasher – C Maresh – LF S. Moore – 1B Cross – 2B F. Serrano – P E. Mauricio
POR: CF Morris – SS White – 1B Starr – LF Crumble – RF Corral – 3B N. Fox – 2B Bean – C Chavez – P Bollinger

The Raccoons took the lead in the first on a Starr double and Crumble single, which was nothing compared to the bottom 2nd, because while Jose Corral couldn’t hit a ball outta the park and in fact ended the first inning with a meek out, the Raccoons got a leadoff single from Fox in the second and then – lo and behold – a 2-piece to left-center from CORTEZ CHAVEZ of all possible and impossible people…! Both teams then scattered runners here and there for a few innings before the Coons put White and Starr on the corners in the bottom 5th and cashed those runners with a Crumble triple after the new cleanup guy found his bat again and upped the score to 5-0. Corral still couldn’t coral one out of the corral, but at least got the extra run home from third base with a groundout to Serrano.

Bollinger gave the Coons what he needed with six shutout innings, but then got very vehemently stuck in the seventh inning. It began with a leadoff walk to Maresh, then a double to center by Scott Moore. Nigel Cross’ RBI single got the Condors on the board, and while Serrano grounded out to third, the Coons went to Ricky H. – the only reliever not used yesterday – when Elmer Maldonado pinch-hit for the pitcher. Unfortunately he showed up washed again, gave up both of Bollinger’s runs on a Maldonado single to right, and only then got the last two outs of the inning. We then ended up with the debutant Benitez in a hold situation in the eighth and got what we deserved. Frasher and Maresh made outs, but he put the left-handers Moore and Cross on base, the latter doubling in the former, who walked. Serrano also walked, and Benitez was dumped for Walters and a double switch putting Kozak into leftfield over Crumble. He got PH Domingo Mercado on a groundout to end the inning, the lead down to 6-4. Walters got them in order in the ninth – but again didn’t strike out anybody….. 6-4 Raccoons. Starr 3-4, 2B; Crumble 3-4, 3B, 3 RBI;

Funny how we’re now winning after dealing everything not nailed down…

(looks up to the baseball gods gnashing his pointy teeth)

Game 3
TIJ: CF Asencio – 1B Sturgeon – SS C. Ramsey – 3B Frasher – LF E. Maldonado – C Maresh – RF S. Moore – 2B Cross – P Koga
POR: CF Morris – SS Lavorano – 1B Starr – LF Crumble – RF Corral – 3B Fowler – 2B Bean – C Arellano – P Alba

Through five, there were two hits in the game, a Fowler single in the second and a Bean single in the fifth. Neither team put a runner on third base. Alba used 63 pitches to get through five innings, walking a pair against six strikeouts. He got Nigel Cross on a fly to left and Koga on strikes to begin the sixth, then lost the bid not on a base hit, but on two full count walks to the 1-2 batters before Ramsey popped out to Arellano behind home plate, with Alba needing 28 pitches in that inning alone. A 10-pitch seventh wasn’t gonna save him now. Also, the Raccoons weren’t scoring. Malik Crumble had their third base hit, another single, in the bottom 7th, and then was caught stealing. Alba was yet back for the eighth inning, got outs from Moore and Cross, and then saw Koga dink in a floater into shallow right for a 2-out single.

Oh, the deflation…! … Asencio popped out to end Alba’s weird and busy day (as well as the eighth inning) on 113 total pitches. But he DID get the lead in the bottom 8th. Granted, the shy single that Bean hit to begin the inning required more than just Morris’ 2-out single to cash him because Koga also threw a wild pitch for a crucial base in between. Lonzo dropped another single, but Starr whiffed to send it to … somebody in the ninth inning. The Raccoons went with Murdock against the 2-3-4 batters which included the switch-hitters Sturgeon and Frasher, who were both largely even, and the righty Ramsey. Sturgeon walloped a high fly to deep left on the very first pitch of the inning, but Crumble hustled back and picked the ******* thing off the top of the fence! Ramsey also flew out to left, and Frasher whiffed…! 1-0 Blighters! Bean 2-3; Alba 8.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 4 BB, 9 K, W (8-8);

In other news

July 25 – The Aces have a 6-run rally to tie the game against the Crusaders in the eighth inning, then fall behind by two runs in the top of the ninth inning again, before winning, 11-10, on a 3-run walkoff shot by INF/LF/RF Mike Roberts (.229, 6 HR, 44 RBI).
July 26 – The hitting streak of New York 1B/RF/LF Aubrey Austin (.310, 10 HR, 53 RBI) ends at 22 games in a 9-5 loss to the Aces.
July 27 – The Capitals acquire OF Isaiah Birth (.333, 2 HR, 38 RBI) from the Blue Sox for right-hander Troy Ratliff (2-3, 5.28 ERA, 6 SV) and a prospect, #69 SP Adam Dochterman.
July 27 – Furthermore, the Caps pick up 1B Pedro Parada (.293, 3 HR, 13 RBI) from the Pacifics for a minor leaguer and a prospect, #93 SP Aiden Shaw.
July 28 – The Indians’ SP Antonio Pichardo (8-10, 4.10 ERA) throws a 2-hit shutout against the Falcons for a 6-0 win.
July 30 – WAS SP Jon Reyes (5-9, 3.51 ERA) is expected to miss the rest of the season after suffering a forearm strain.

FL Player of the Week: RIC INF/RF Robby Cox (.262, 6 HR, 43 RBI), hitting .450 (9-20) with 3 HR, 8 RBI
CL Player of the Week: VAN INF Chris Sullivan (.264, 5 HR, 39 RBI), batting .524 (11-21) with 2 HR, 10 RBI

Complaints and stuff

The Raccoons almost traded for A.C. Stebbins with the Caps, who had a 6.09 ERA and a .364 BABIP, but they weren’t quite willing to include him with either of the pitching prospects. Stebbins won 16 games last year, so we *know* he’s better than *that*. He would have been under contract for one more year, but the Coons would not compete next year, and why then bother. Just go for the prospects.

Some more post-mortem on the trade fireworks. Final tallies for these ex-Coons with the team:
Trent Brassfield – .277/.362/.411 with 960 hits, 86 HR, 466 RBI in 989 games
Joey Christopher – .236/.354/.328 with 302 hits, 15 HR, 99 RBI in 436 games
Angel Perez - .280/.328/.412 with 371 hits, 32 HR, 193 RBI in 371 games
Bobby Herrera – 60-50 with a 3.28 ERA in 152 games (all starts)
Nick Robinson – 28-12 with a 3.04 ERA in 54 games (all starts)
Justin DeRose – 34-43 with a 4.15 ERA in 138 games (110 starts)

Kyle Pisciotti lasted four days in St. Pete before straining a hammy, so don’t wait for a callup for him any time soon.

Also, yes, we are 7-2 for our last nine despite trading all the jewels in that span. Baseball makes no sense, and you should waste neither your heart nor your money on it, because it won’t love you back.

And yes, the entire CL North is now over .500 against, more than 100 games into the season. What the **** is going on here??

Ah, I’m sure it will all come apart again soon. The next weeks will be brutal. The Raccoons are off on a 4-city, 14-game roadtrip with three in Charlotte, five in Boston, and then three more in New York and Denver each. I have no plans for that Thursday double header in Boston coming up so far. One of the least crazy ideas is to use Benitez as spot starter in the opener there – he used to start games until last year – and then immediately dump him between ends of the double header for something with a pulse.

Fun Fact: The Raccoons have already used 48 players this season.

24 pitchers. 24 position players. Some of which you – I guarantee – have already forgotten again. In some cases (like Jose Rosa?) ignorance is indeed bliss.

And it’s not even September call-up time yet!

+++

*Yes, we totally started Angel Alba on one day’s rest this week. It’s a total mess around here. (blushes) I can’t remember the last time I ****** up this badly…