[Westheim]

Fell outta bed before five. There you go.

+++

Raccoons (68-56) @ Canadiens (56-68) – August 21-23, 2063

After the sweep in Milwaukee I opted not to return to Portland while the team took their L4 streak to Elk City, and instead spent another couple of days in a hotel in the land of beer and cheese. After a Monday off, the Raccoons entered the frozen tundra to play the Vancouver Permafrosts, who scored the fewest runs in the league (but I had faith in us still getting there by season’s end), and allowing the fifth-fewest. Their run differential was -18. We were up 8-4 on them for the year. They had outfielder Chad Cardenas on the DL, while the Raccoons arrived with a day-to-day backup infielder in Nick Fowler, who would probably be hobbled for the entire series.

Projected matchups:
Josh Elling (9-8, 3.40 ERA) vs. Carson Miller (0-2, 4.30 ERA)
Jeff Applegate (2-2, 2.49 ERA) vs. Johnny Doolin (8-13, 4.16 ERA)
Angel Alba (11-8, 3.82 ERA) vs. Shane Fitzgibbon (10-5, 2.79 ERA)

Their two southpaws were holding the rotation together somewhat while the rest of the staff was made up with duct tape, but we’d only see Fitzgibbon of those two, while Roger Pritchard (12-8, 2.29 ERA) had pitched on Sunday.

Game 1
POR: CF Morris – LF M. Campos – 3B Monck – 1B Starr – RF Corral – 2B White – SS Lavorano – C Arellano – P Elling
VAN: 2B A. Castillo – SS Corpus – 1B J. Campos – RF C. Richardson – CF Atkins – LF Whetstine – C A. Maldonado – 3B Spalding – P C. Miller

Elling struck out five Elks the first time through the order, most of them in full counts, so the pitch count was going pear-shaped right from the get-go. The Raccoons failed to score from Morris and Marco Campos singles to begin the game, with Campos being caught stealing, but Corral’s leadoff triple led to the game’s first run in the second inning … barely, after Jim White popped out and Lonzo rolled a grounder up the middle for Alex Corpus to handle, but Corral scored on that one. Corral had another single his next time up but was doubled up by White’s grounder to Steven Spalding, and the Raccoons managed to scatter a few more runners pointlessly through five innings. All the while Elling was holding the damn Elks to one hit before suddenly imploding in the bottom 5th. Alex Maldonado led off with a meaty double to right, Spalding singled to put runners on the corners, and Miller’s bunt was misplayed by Elling himself to load the bases. He then walked in the tying run against Alex Castillo, struck out Corpus, but conceded an RBI single to Jose Campos on an 0-2 pitch, plated another run with a wild pitch, and then conceded another run on Chris Richardson’s scratch single to fall 4-1 behind. Rick Atkins lined out and Chad Whetstine struck out, but enough damage had been done there already, before the bottom 6th began with straight hits by Maldonado, Spalding, and Miller’s 2-run double to left. Elling was yanked, while Miller packed the bases with Raccoons in the seventh inning before Kozak struck out pinch-hitting and Morris flew out to left to leave everybody stranded. Sensabaugh, Walters, and Dingman pitched scoreless relief after Elling’s meltdown, but Miller held the Raccoons to their one run for eight innings and Swain gave up just one run on a pair of hits involving the unretireable Jose Corral in the ninth inning. 6-2 Canadiens. Corral 4-4, 3B, 2B; Arellano 2-4;

Game 2
POR: CF Morris – LF Crumble – 3B Monck – 1B Starr – RF Corral – C Arellano – SS Lavorano – 2B Bean – P Applegate
VAN: 2B A. Castillo – SS Corpus – CF Atkins – 1B J. Campos – RF Lozada – LF Whetstine – 3B Spalding – C Orphanos – P Doolin

Malik Crumble went deep to left to put the Raccoons up 1-0 early again, but Applegate leaked singles to Castillo and Rick Atkins before plating the tying run with a wild pitch in the bottom 1st, tying the score right back up. Arellano narrowly missed going yard in the top 2nd, having to settle for a wallbanger double with one out and then getting doubled off second base cluelessly when Lonzo lined out to Corpus on the next pitch by Doolin. Corpus then drew a leadoff walk on four pitches in the bottom 3rd, Atkins singled him to second base, and two long fly outs by Campos and Roberto Lozada were enough to get him home with a sac fly, 2-1. Whetstine had another long fly out to end the inning.

While the Raccoons got back even in the fourth on Monck’s double to center and then two singles by Corral and Arellano, who ended up being left on when Lonzo flew out to center, Applegate shoved *another* 4-pitch leadoff walk Corpus’ way in the fifth inning. The annoying Elk stole his 35th base of the year, but then was somehow left on base on another string of fly outs. Both teams had two runs on six hits through five innings, and both got another hit in the sixth. While the Raccoons got a leadoff single from Rich Monck and then tripped over their own tales to not score him, the Elks waited out a 2-out solo homer by Mike Orphanos to take a 3-2 lead.

The Raccoons’ answer to that was a leadoff single by Lonzo in the seventh against Doolin, who fell 3-0 behind against Jon Bean, who then smartly lined out to Castillo. Lonzo stole second base while Marco Campos pinch-hit for Applegate, then reached third base on a single that didn’t leave the infield dirt. Campos also stole second base off Doolin and Orphanos, but Morris and Crumble both found it in their hearts to strike out and leave the tying and go-ahead runs in ******* scoring position.

Bottom 7th, Carrillo got two outs before walking Atkins, a 22-year-old rookie that had been the #2 pick in the draft two years ago. Jose Campos legged out an infield single, but also twisted his hoof stepping on first base and hobbled off the field to be replaced by Kenny Graves, while left-hander Chris Richardson pinch-hit for Lozada and the Coons moved for McDaniel, who secured a K. A Monck single and a Spalding error were then not enough for the blighted Raccoons to scratch out the tying run in the eighth, either, and instead Orphanos hit another homer for two runs off Jimmy Dingerman in the bottom of the eighth… Swain then retired Portland in order in the ninth. 5-2 Canadiens. Monck 3-4, 2B; Arellano 2-4, 2B, RBI; Campos (PH) 1-1;

Six losses in a row and the only reason why we were still in first place was the Titans and Crusaders taking wins off another right here and now.

Game 3
POR: RF M. Campos – CF Kozak – 1B Starr – LF Crumble – 3B Monck – 2B White – SS Lavorano – C Lawson – P Alba
VAN: 2B A. Castillo – SS Corpus – 1B J. Campos – CF Atkins – LF Whetstine – C A. Maldonado – RF D. Moreno – 3B Spalding – P Fitzgibbon

Angel Alba was on a run of seven games where he allowed 4+ runs five times and finished six innings only twice, while packing two third of a run onto his ERA, so he was not exactly my pick to end the 6-game spill. Before he could mess things up by pawing the baseball, though, Crumble set the Raccoons in the lead with a first-inning bomb again, this time a 2-out 2-piece that admittedly only came after Corpus dropped a Starr pop going backwards on the infield. Alex Castillo answered with a leadoff jack off Alba, and I hit my paw on my tablet in my Milwaukee hotel bed to make all the little cheese bits jump. Sacrebleu!! The Elks got two more singles in the inning, but left those runners, and also skipped scoring on 2-out singles by Fitzgibbon and Castillo in the second inning. Corpus popped out there before Jose Campos and Atkins hit singles to begin the bottom 3rd. Whetstine hit into a 6-4-3 double play and Maldonado grounded out, but I had a bad hunch that the lead was not to last. Through three innings, the Elks had seven hits to the Coons’ … one.

Indeed, Corpus tied the game up in the fourth after another clownshoes performance of errors; Alba fudged Spalding on base with an error, and that tying run got bunted to second by Fitzgibbon, then reached third base on a wild pitch. Castillo drew a 2-out walk, and Corpus then singled to get the teams even at two. The pitching coach wore out a path from the Coons dugout to the hill, but at least a K on Campos after the mound visit ended the bloody inning. But if anything, it only ever got worse with this ******* team, and Alba was kicked off the hill after Atkins singled and Whetstine doubled to begin the bottom 5th, having allowed ten base knocks and numerous other shenanigans (like bunting into a force on Lawson in the top 5th) in four-plus ****-*** innings. McDaniel conceded the go-ahead run in the inning when he replaced him, but kept Whetstine stranded, but Whetstine got his revenge the inning after when he pummeled Pohlmann for a 2-out, 3-run homer… Freddy Castillo then gave up another home run to Spalding in the seventh before Lawson and him reached base to begin the eighth against Brian Doster on a single and a ****** bunt. The 1-2-3 then collectively struck out against Doster, leaving the runners drowned on base. The Elks got ANOTHER run off Castillo on three hits in the bottom 8th, and the Coons got another single from Crumble to lead off the ninth against Doster before Monck hit into a double play. **** my furry tush… 8-2 Canadiens. Crumble 2-3, BB, HR, 2 RBI; Corral (PH) 1-1, 2B; Lawson 2-3;

Elks: 16 hits. Raccoons: 5 hits.

L7.

Raccoons (68-59) @ Thunder (74-53) – August 24-26, 2063

Now just imagine what the Thunder could do against these feckless, funless, fartless Furballs. Funnily enough THEY were leading the CL South while scoring even *fewer* runs than the miserable Raccoons, and after the Elks had run circles around the dismal Critters for three days, the Thunder were now bottoms in runs scored in the CL. They were also allowing the fewest runs and had a +77 run differential while doing so, thanks to a better than 3.3 R/A pitching staff and defense. The Coons oddly enough held a 4-2 lead in the season series *and* a 1-game lead over New York in the North, but the Crusaders and Titans were now done with tripping over each other, and we had our run differential down to -14.

Projected matchups:
Chance Fox (8-6, 3.04 ERA) vs. Aaron Harris (12-9, 2.55 ERA)
J.J. Sensabaugh (1-1, 6.05 ERA) vs. Jake Frensley (8-7, 4.26 ERA)
Josh Elling (9-9, 3.62 ERA) vs. Phil Baker (14-5, 2.98 ERA)

All right-handers. And if you have any smarter ideas than throwing a game with Sensabaugh you’re cordially invited to offer it.

Game 1
POR: CF Morris – LF Crumble – SS Monck – 1B Starr – RF Corral – C Arellano – 3B Fowler – 2B White – P Fox
OCT: 3B McNeal – C L. Miranda – SS Spehar – LF Ramires – 2B D. Richardson – 1B I. Stone – RF J.D. Johnson – CF Oldfield – P Aa. Harris

Starr missed a throw by White on Josh McNeal’s grounder to begin the bottom 1st to make a move to set the meltdown machine in motion, but Foxie Brown worked around that, and instead the Coons scored on three singles led by Starr in the second inning, which was the fourth time they drew first blood this week, and had yet to post a W. Fox struck out to end the top 2nd with a pair on base, then offered a four-pitch leadoff walk to Ian Stone and a pair of doubles to Cory Oldfield and Aaron Harris to fall 2-1 behind promptly.

Rich Monck ran into one in the third inning for a score-flipping 2-run homer after Morris had opened the inning with a single and stolen base. I held back on celebrating, and for good reasons. Fox kept getting slammed in the snout with the big bricks, allowing a leadoff single to Ryan Spehar and then another single to center to Bill Ramires, which Morris fudged for extra bases on a missed pickup, allowing Spehar to score and Ramires to second base. Daniel Richardson made an out, but Ian Stone made one out to Kansas with a massive homer to center. 5-3, if you’re daring to count. Corral then dropped a J.D. Johnson fly for an error in foul ground, which made for three ******* errors in as many innings, even though all the runs were earned on Fox.

Monck ripped another homer his next time up, but this was just a solo shot in the fifth inning and left the Coons trailing, 5-4. Meanwhile, Fox had to gut it out for six innings, not allowing another run in the middle innings, although his tossing still wasn’t pretty. The score was still 5-4 to begin the seventh, as lefty Ryan Hogues replaced Harris on the hill for the Thunder. Morris got nailed, Crumble singled, and Monck held out for a walk in a full count, loading the bases with nobody out. The further left-handed bats were hit for with Kozak, who whiffed, and Campos, who popped out to shallow center. Neither action merited a run scoring. In despair, Lonzo batted for a hitless Arellano and would have grounded out if Ian Stone could have contained a throw from Hogues to first base. He couldn’t and the Raccoons got the tying run across for that. Fowler then grounded out miserably instead. And after all THAT ******* PAIN, Pohlmann got taken deep by Bill Ramires rather unceremoniously in the bottom 7th… Oldfield’s double and Mark Younce’s pinch-hit RBI single then added another run against Walters in the eighth. 7-5 Thunder. Monck 2-4, BB, 2 HR, 3 RBI; Starr 2-3; Corral 2-3; White 2-4, RBI;

New York took first place on the occasion.

Game 2
POR: CF Morris – LF Crumble – 3B Monck – 1B Starr – RF Corral – C Arellano – SS Lavorano – 2B Bean – P Sensabaugh
OCT: SS Spehar – 1B I. Stone – CF Oldfield – C Preston – 2B D. Richardson – LF D. Garcia – RF B. Fish – 3B McNeal – P Frensley

The Coons went in order in the first before the spot starter Sensabaugh (shivers!) sent Spehar and Stone to first on free passes, but then turned a 1-6-3 double play on a comebacker by Oldfield and buggered out of the inning. The Coons then got their first three batters on base in the top 2nd; Arellano singled to left-center with Starr on second and Corral at first. Desperate to end the losing, Starr was sent around third base and was thrown out at the plate by Danny Garcia, and did not show up for defense in the bottom 2nd, having left the game for Kozak with back tightness. The trailing runners didn’t advance, either, so Lonzo’s single only filled the bases before Bean popped out. Sensabaugh batted with two outs and the bags full and obviously hit a 2-run single, because baseball had stopped making ******* sense a while back. Frensley then struck out Morris while it was starting to rain. (extends arms and bickers skywards) What ******* else!!??

Sensabaugh would go six we’ve-given-up-officially innings in the rain. He ran tons of full counts, was in general behind a lot, but got two double plays and a couple nice plays in the gaps to hold the Thunder off the board until crapping out in the bottom 5th with another pair of 2-out walks to the 1-2 batters and then getting gobsmacked with straight hits by Cory Oldfield, Steve Preston, and Daniel Richardson for three runs, which obviously gave the Thunder a 3-2 lead, because who else but their ******* pitcher would drive in a run for the Portlanders?? Bean and the pinch-hitting Fowler hit 1-out singles in the seventh, but were stranded by meek outs made by Morris and Crumble, and that was the way the cookie …

…and then Rich Monck took Sensabaugh off the hook after all when he sloshed a 410-footer for a leadoff jack in the eighth inning, tying the game at three against Frensley! However, Jimmy Dingerman also failed in more ways than one: he didn’t live up to his billing by not allowing a homer in the bottom 8th, but still blew the Thunder a new lead by getting doubled off by both Johnson and McNeal for the go-ahead run. Pinch-hit singles by Campos, who stole second, and White, who drove him in, then tied the game against Dave Lister in the ninth inning. Morris flew out to right before Lister walked the bags full for Kozak, who fanned, and Corral, who held out to draw a walk and push in the go-ahead run. Jason Bair then walked in another run against Arellano and allowed an RBI single to Lonzo to extend the Coons’ lead to three runs, at which point and after a Campos pop to short we remembered that Josh Carlisle was a thing that existed. He got two outs before allowing a 2-out homer to Steve Preston (….!), but ended the spill in the grander scheme of things by posting a save. 7-5 Critters. Starr 1-1; Arellano 2-4, BB, RBI; Lavorano 2-5, RBI; Campos (PH) 1-2; Fowler (PH) 1-1; White (PH) 1-1, RBI;

Joel Starr was day-to-day with the bad back and was not in the lineup on Sunday at least, after which we’d have to play it by fuzzy ear.

Game 3
POR: CF Morris – LF Crumble – 3B Monck – 1B Kozak – RF Corral – SS Lavorano – 2B Bean – C Lawson – P Elling
OCT: LF J.D. Johnson – 1B I. Stone – CF Oldfield – C Preston – 2B D. Richardson – SS Spehar – RF D. Garcia – 3B McNeal – P P. Baker

For the first time this week the Coons didn’t score first when Ian Stone took Elling deep for a run in the bottom 1st after Portland had wasted a Crumble double in the top of the inning. The Thunder had three singles in the bottom 2nd, but didn’t score with their first runner – Richardson – caught stealing by Lawson. In turn a Morris single only led to Malik Crumbling into a double play in the top 3rd.

The game remained close until the bottom 5th when McNeal hit a leadoff single against Elling before Kozak threw away a Baker bunt for two bases, bringing up the top of the order with runners on second and third and nobody out. Johnson singled in a run. Stone doubled in a run. Oldfield hit a sac fly. Elling was dismissed after walking Preston. Carrillo replaced him and got a double play to end the ******* inning, down 4-0, from Richardson. The game was over with that though; the Raccoons failed their way to nine base hits, three double plays, and never got a run across. 4-0 Thunder. Morris 2-4; Crumble 2-4, 2B; Lavorano 2-4; Fowler (PH) 1-1;

In other news

August 21 – PIT SP Joe Napier (7-11, 4.63 ERA) throws a 3-hit shutout against the Cyclones for a 9-0 win. Cincinnati becomes the first team mathematically eliminated from playoff contention with this game.
August 21 – A torn ACL ends the season of SAC 2B/SS Justin Finnegan (.256, 12 HR, 64 RBI).
August 24 – DAL SP Ray “Crabman” Walker (15-5, 2.74 ERA) throws a 2-hit shutout against the Buffaloes, whiffing seven for a 7-0 win.
August 24 – The Crusaders out-smash the Bayhawks, 15-13, although the best individual day is had by San Francisco’s Grant Anker (.276, 11 HR, 65 RBI), who smacks five hits with a homer and drives in six runs.
August 24 – Cyclones RF/1B/LF John MacDonnell (.257, 18 HR, 51 RBI) was out for the season after breaking his kneecap.
August 25 – Vegas CL Curt Carter (5-2, 2.70 ERA, 21 SV) is out for the year with a tear in his triceps.

FL Player of the Week: NAS RF Austin Gordon (.350, 34 HR, 97 RBI), being a .448 (13-29) terror with 3 HR, 8 RBI
CL Player of the Week: CHA INF John Schmidt (.287, 1 HR, 26 RBI), batting .542 (13-24) with 6 RBI

Complaints and stuff

(shows the Critters pictures at a team meeting, pointing at pictures on a clipboard) Melted cheese – good! Melted lead in the division – baaaaad! Baaaaaaad! (some players actually take notes)

One win in the last ten games ain’t that much, and it wasn’t honest work either.

I don’t see us getting up again from here either and I don’t think we’ll stop before we hit .500. The rotation held the bloody thing together all year and now we can’t grab a W unless we start J.J. ******* Sensabaugh. That’s … that’s… (buries face in paws)

Tipsy Bobby also pitched a shutout for the Caps this week. He was 11-8 with a 3.77 ERA this year, so I wasn’t convinced still having him would improve our fortunes much though.

Three games in Vegas left on the road trip of horrors, then a day off, then the start of a 6-game homestand with Indy and New York as well as the September roster expansion on Saturday.

Fun Fact: Rich Monck reached 28 home runs this week, a mark last obtained by Danny Munn in 2055.

Munn hit exactly 28 thumpers in ’55, driving in 88 runs. Monck has already exceeded the latter mark by one, although it’s a way away to Noah Caswell’s 107 RBI in 2059. Caswell is the only other Raccoon to exceed 89 RBI in this period.

Going back to 2053 we had Matt Waters with also 28 bombs and 110 RBI, with Pucks coming in at 26 homers and 107 RBI. Mike Preble hit 28 homers for 105 RBI in ’49, with Waters having 95 RBI on 22 dingers, one season after he homered 31 times and drove in 93 runs (behind Jesus Maldonado’s 96) in 2048 – the most recent time a Critter socked 30+ homers.