Mets sign 29-year-old Jared "Not That" Young, fresh off his 1.080 OPS this summer! In, er, the KBO, but why quibble, right?
(In more relevant news, Young had a .725 OPS in 22 games as a Scrubs scrub, spread across the two previous seasons.)
Young has played every position except pitcher, catcher and SS, but he is primarily *sigh* another 1B "insurance policy", in case…well, you know.