[Westheim]

Trade

The Raccoons sent 2B/SS Franklin Serrano (.318, 3 HR, 20 RBI) to the Blue Sox on the day of the All Star Game to acquire left-handed SP Juan Sanchez (7-8, 4.82 ERA), who was making $5.1M a year through 2066 and was on the Sox’ removal list for that reason. The 30-year-old, who was a 3-time All Star and had won FL Rookie of the Year honors in 2059, was having a trying season, which meant he should fit right in.

On the other paw, acquiring a serviceable starting pitcher meant more wiggle room for different trades going forwards. And under the paw – Serrano was one of the leading malcontents in an increasingly toxic clubhouse and we had to make an odd move here or there to right the ship, even if it meant taking on a mediocre starting pitcher that was now the biggest earner on the team.

All Star Game

The CL beats the FL, 7-3, taking the lead early and never looking back. Boston’s Bill Joyner is an odd choice for MVP honors, going 1-1 with a walk and RBI as mid-game replacement for Ian Stone. The win goes to Ben Seiter of New York, pitching the second inning in relief of Boston’s Jason Brenize.

Raccoons (35-54) vs. Canadiens (44-44) – July 16-19, 2065

The Elks had gained a 5-3 edge in the season series last week, but overall their run differential was still -11 and they were still average in many categories. Which beat whatever we were doing here…

Projected matchups:
Juan Sanchez (7-8, 4.82 ERA) vs. Jose Villegas (8-5, 2.98 ERA)
Shoma Nakayama (3-13, 3.79 ERA) vs. Ken Nielsen (7-2, 2.36 ERA)
Nick Walla (3-4, 2.75 ERA) vs. Adam Foley (3-3, 3.86 ERA)
Chance Fox (4-6, 4.37 ERA) vs. Ed Nadeau (4-8, 4.05 ERA)

Villegas and Nadeau were still the two left-handers in the rotation for the damn Elks, who were still without position players Matt Kilday and Rick Atkins, although both were expected to return to the team soon, maybe while they were still in Portland.

The Raccoons went into this series with a surplus reliever and a short bench and two rehab cases (Dover, Vargas) in AAA. And who knows who might get traded in the next 48 hours?

Game 1
VAN: SS C. Castro – 2B Yue – RF Lozada – C Varner – LF Vaughn – 1B Whetstine – 3B Spalding – CF Chenette – P J. Villegas
POR: LF Spicer – SS Novelo – 3B Morales – 2B Monck – 1B Starr – RF Tallent – CF Garmon – C Arellano – P Sanchez

Joel Starr was penciled into the lineup with an “aw shucks” attitude when the lineup refused to add up otherwise after the departure of Jack Kozak, but he doubled home the game’s first two runs in the bottom of the first inning, finding the gap on an 0-2 pitch to bring in Novelo and Monck, who had both singled off the southpaw Villegas. Tallent struck out, but the bottom 2nd saw another two Coons runs on Garmon and Arellano doubles and a 2-out RBI single for Novelo, but before excitement could start bubbling all over, the Elks’ Roberto Lozada burned Sanchez in his Coons debut with a long 3-run homer to left in the top 3rd. The Elks had plenty of runners in the early going, stranding one in the first, two in the second, and another two in scoring position in the third inning when Nick Vaughn and Chad Whetstine reached after the Lozada homer, advanced on a passed ball, and were stranded when Steven Spalding flew out to Spicer in left.

Sanchez’ first outing soon turned pear-shaped completely when he gave up a leadoff walk to Vaughn in the sixth and a double to Whetstine right afterwards. Spalding whiffed, but Tyler Chenette flipped the score with a single to center, and even reliever Dallas Samson singled. A walk to Carlos Castro filled the bases and spelled the end for Sanchez. The useless pelt of Cruz Madrid then immediately gave up a bases-clearing double to Hsi-chuen Yue and another RBI single to Steve Varner as the Elks escalated into a 9-4 lead.

The Coons had long lied down snoozing, but facing ex-Coon Reynaldo Bravo in the bottom 7th got Monck and Starr on base with soft contact. Tallent struck out, while Corral drew a 2-out walk in place of Garmon. Arellano drove a ball to deep left, but couldn’t beat Vaughn, and the inning ended with three stranded on base. Juan Soriano pitched the eighth and struck out three batters, but not without giving up a single to Yue, an RBI double to Vaughn, and balking Vaughn to third base. The Raccoons only got Starr on base again in the ninth, but Tallent hit into a double play to end the contest. 10-4 Canadiens. Novelo 2-3, BB, RBI; Starr 4-5, 2B, 2 RBI; Arellano 2-4, 2B, RBI;

Ten unanswered runs allowed, eight by Juan Sanchez on his debut for the team. Swell.

Two roster moves were made between games, as both John Nesbitt (0-1, 6.91 ERA, 2 SV) and Juan Soriano (0-0, 9.00 ERA) were sent to the Alley Cats in exchange for Jesse Dover and… who’s there hitting something, anything… uh… hmmm…….. oh well, Joe Gardner hasn’t been to Portland in a while. Let’s check out his table manners.

Game 2
VAN: SS C. Castro – 2B Yue – 1B Whetstine – RF Lozada – C Newman – LF Vaughn – 3B Spalding – CF Chenette – P Nielsen
POR: LF Spicer – 1B Starr – 3B Morales – 2B Monck – RF Corral – C Arellano – SS Aoki – CF Garmon – P Nakayama

Misery continued unabated with Nakayama lacking command entirely in this Friday game and the Coons’ only runner the first time through being Jose Corral, reaching on an error as his average dipped to .174. Somehow the Elks remained off the board until the fourth when Vaughn singled, Nakayama walked Spalding, Chenette singled in a run past Starr at first, and Nielsen’s grounder was bobbled for an error by Rich Monck, all with two outs. Castro flew out to Corral to leave the bases loaded.

Nakayama bumbled bravely onwards, while the Coons did not get a base hit off Nielsen until Vic Morales hit a single in the sixth. Chenette singled to begin the top 7th, stole second, reached third on Arellano’s throwing error, and then was easily singled home by Castro to double the Elks’ lead to 2-0. Nakayama made it to the eighth, gave up a single to Lozada and a double to Ben Newman on which Lozada managed to get thrown out at the plate. The Coons went to the pen, got Tyson, and of course he gave up the inherited runner on a 2-out RBI double by Spalding. Carrillo pitched the ninth, giving up a leadoff single to Nielsen, who was doubled off by Yue to bail out the next bumbling idiot in line. The Elks then brought in McGinley for the bottom 9th, presumably just to rub it in. The Coons, being out-hit 11-1 to start the inning, almost managed to disappear in order, but Monck reached on a Spalding error with two outs. Novelo then flew out to right instead. 3-0 Canadiens.

(facepaws and moans)

Game 3
VAN: SS C. Castro – 2B Yue – 1B Whetstine – RF Lozada – C Newman – LF Vaughn – 3B Spalding – CF Chenette – P Foley
POR: RF Corral – LF Bentley – 3B Morales – 2B Monck – 1B Starr – CF Garmon – SS Aoki – C Lawson – P Walla

Adam Foley took the hill with a 4-0 lead thanks to Walla giving up a double to Castro, walking Yue, and then two outs later surrendering two runs on Newman’s double and another two on a massive Vaughn homer to dead center. (with a tired expression rips page out of binder with scorecards and eats the page)

The Elks had their own messy inning coming, though, as Foley gave up four singles to Garmon, Lawson, Walla, and Bentley in the second inning. Walla and Bentley got RBI’s, but Morales then grounded out to second to end the inning with a 4-2 score. From there Walla struggled through another three innings without allowing another run, but also without vaguely appearing like a major league pitcher, before Foley allowed another two singles to Bentley and Morales at the start of the bottom 5th. Monck and Starr made meek outs and Garmon was unceremoniously plunked to load the bases for Yukio Aoki, who lined out to short to end the inning – but not until after Foley plated Bentley with a wild pitch, 4-3.

Bottom 6th, and Lawson started with a groundout. Spicer batted for him, reached on an error by Whetstine, then stole second and scored on a Corral single (!) to knot the score at four. Before things could escalate into a lead, though, John Bentley crashed into a 4-6-3 double play. Monck singled and was picked off first the next inning, and in the eighth Aoki struck a double to right with one out before Novelo batted for Lawson and grounded out. Joe Gardner then batted for the pitcher Garvey and singled through the left side to give the Coons an actual 5-4 lead in the game. To celebrate, he was caught stealing, ending the inning and giving a save chance to a rather undeserving Cruz Madrid. Lozada grounded out easily. Newman popped out. Vaughn also popped … one over the fence in right to tie the game. (angrily and repeatedly slams scorecard binder on the table to a degree that makes even Maud and Honeypaws raise eyebrows) Kenny Graves flew out to center to give the stick back to the Coons, facing former teammate Elijah LaBat, who got the 1-2-3 in order to send the game to extras.

Paul Barton got the ball for the tenth inning. Tyler Chenette singled on his second pitch, but Chris Richardson struck out. Maud said something silly like it looking like everything might work out yet, and then Castro buried a triple in the gap to break the tie and immediately scored on a Yue single on the next pitch. Kevin Ewers walked, Ben Newman launched a 3-run homer, and the Coons had to use ANOTHER reliever just to GET OUT OF THE ******* INNING. The bottom 10th got unexpectedly tight. Arellano – who was batting fourth since Monck had been replaced with Novelo at second for D during the 7 1/2 seconds when we held the lead although it was not humanly possible to defend the **** that Cruz Madrid was giving up all the ******* time…!! – singled to begin the inning and Joel Starr then immediately popped a homer to left, 10-7. McGinley replaced LaBat, but gave up a triple to Garmon, who scored on Aoki’s groundout. Novelo lined out, but Tallent, the last guy on the bench, singled to left with two outs, bringing back Corral as the tying run. But Corral had a negative-eleven BABIP and grounded out to Yue… 10-8 Canadiens. Bentley 3-5, RBI; Arellano 1-1; Garmon 2-4, 3B; Gardner (PH) 1-1, RBI; Tallent (PH) 1-1;

Game 4
VAN: 2B Kilday – SS C. Castro – CF R. Atkins – RF Lozada – C Varner – 1B Whetstine – LF N. Vaughn – 3B Spalding – P Nadeau
POR: RF Corral – SS Novelo – 3B Morales – 1B Starr – C Arellano – CF Garmon – 2B Gardner – LF Tallent – P Fox

Southpaw Sunday dawned and the sun set on Chance Fox looking like a vaguely competent pitcher. Matt Kilday and Carlos Castro reached base right away and would be plated by Steve Varner with a 2-out single for a really early 2-0 Elks lead. Fox would also nail Spalding the first time he met him, and also the second time Spalding came to the plate, which always took away the free out on the pitcher Nadeau, who gave up a run in the second on an Arellano double and Tallent’s 2-out RBI single, then managed to fill the bases with nothing but Critters to begin the fourth inning, as Arellano, Garmon, and Gardner chopped singles on three consecutive pitches to load them up for Tallent. Nadeau walked in the tying run in a full count, struck out Fox, but gave up two more runs on a Corral single as the Coons went up 4-2. Novelo and Morales then made outs.

Fox walked Rick Atkins in the fifth before tying to give up a triple in the gap to Lozada, who was absolutely robbed by Garmon running into the gap at breakneck speed and somehow catching the ball over his shoulder. Varner grounded out to leave Atkins at first. Bottom 5th, Starr drew a leadoff walk before Arellano doubled to right. Garmon was walked intentionally for another three on, nobody out situation. The Coons would make three outs through strikeouts, but not without another RBI single for Tallent that knocked out Nadeau. Josh Meighan then struck out Fox and Corral to escape.

Fox somehow failed his way through seven innings with that 5-2 lead, offering a walk and getting a double play grounder in each of his last two frames out there. Dover got the ball in the eighth, allowed a single to Atkins, but then struck out Lozada and Varner before handing the marble off to Garvey, who got another K on Whetstine. The Coons struck with the southpaw into the ninth inning, where he got Vaughn on strikes before brushing Spalding on base. Rico Cordero hit a soft single to left to bring the tying run to the plate. Kilday popped out. Castro hit a fly to left, but John Bentley got that one. 5-2 Coons. Arellano 3-4, 2 2B; Garmon 1-2, BB; Bentley (PH) 1-1, 2B; Tallent 2-3, BB, 3 RBI;

In other news

July 13 – OCT 2B Mike Weber (.226, 3 HR, 21 RBI) could miss the rest of the season after suffering a gnarly concussion.
July 13 – LAP SP/MR Roger Pritchard (0-1, 5.70 ERA) is out for 12 months thanks to a torn flexor tendon.
July 15 – Milwaukee trades for SP Adam Lunn (5-6, 4.30 ERA) and sends four prospects to the Capitals. The package includes #98 1B Armando Curiel.
July 16 – The Loggers report that C Tommy Guitreau (.264, 13 HR, 40 RBI) is going to miss six weeks due to an adverse reaction to a snakebite.
July 17 – The Aces trade SP Dan Graham (5-5, 3.15 ERA) to the Pacifics for two prospects.
July 17 – The Buffos beat the Rebs, 1-0 in ten innings.
July 18 – San Francisco defeats Las Vegas, 3-1 in 16 trying innings.
July 18 – NYC CF/RF Bryant Box (.254, 7 HR, 30 RBI) hits a home run for the only score in a 1-0 win against the Indians.

FL Player of the Week: NAS OF/1B Tony Roman (.254, 23 HR, 61 RBI), packing .368 (7-19) with 3 HR, 8 RBI
CL Player of the Week: MIL OF Jonathan Merrill (.299, 3 HR, 34 RBI), clipping .563 (9-16) with 2 HR, 9 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Tommy Guitreau might be hurting, but nobody’s more snakebitten around here than the Raccoons……

No wonder you can’t get offers for half the bodies on this team. You can probably only release them, because even if you pressed a pillow on their faces they’d be too dumb to die…..

Serrano had been dangled to the Knights before the trade with the Blue Sox. The Knights oddly enough were shopping around SS Casey Ramsey, who was hitting .307 and had last year socked 16 homers for the Condors. He was defensively sound and definitely had to have a dead body hidden away somewhere. The Coons couldn’t get the Knights to accept a deal for another one of our shortstops, nor find a package that worked to acquire left-hander and #28 prospect Ricky McMahan, so we went for the Sox trade instead.

The Coons signed their last July IFA target this week, bringing 16-year-old Dominican right-hander Alex Molina, a groundballer with four-pitch mix, into the academy for $400k (double that after tax). In total we spent $1,592,000 on players and another $760,000 in tax and would have the harshest signing restrictions next year.

But, eh! We were in the running for the #1 pick next June! Big strategy! Tah! [insert extra picture below]

Excitement will continue against the Loggers at home, then the Thunder and Aces on the road. The final game of the month will be the opener of another homestand with the Falcons on the 31st.

Fun Fact: We’re back down to .500 all-time against the damn Elks.

798-798. Six more to play this year.

Can you please not fall under .500 again??