It is May 20 in Germany - the Raccoon Capital of Europe - and this marks the Raccoons' 13th birthday, which means that I have now continuously fumbled the baseball with them for over one third of my life.
Spare a thought for the persistently hapless Critters today, maybe light a candle in your window, and pray for better times.
And don't forget snacks.
Snacks are a very important part of your daily routine.
Raccoon doctors recommend at least seven snacks a day! So make sure to join Joel Starr here with a gentle slice of pizza.
Or the whole damn pizza.