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7 April 1964
Russell Ira Crowe is born in Wellington, New Zealand, but our story doesn’t quite begin here. We need to go back further.

26 May 1926
Is Anna Pavlova the greatest ballet dancer of all time? I don’t know -- I searched Ballet Dancer Wins Above Replacement and got nothing. By this point, though, she’d already taken Australia by storm and left New Zealand delirious after her first performance in Auckland. To honour the lady, everyone decided to name a dessert after her: the eponymous pavlova.

6 egg whites
2 cups of white sugar
1½ teaspoons of vinegar
1½ teaspoons of vanilla essence
1½ teaspoons of cornflour

Beat those egg whites stiff, add the sugar gradually, then mix in the rest. Plop that glorious mess into the oven at 150°C for 45 minutes, and leave it inside until it cools.DON’T OPEN THE OVEN DOOR OR YOU’LL RUIN IT. Slather on cream and fresh fruit, and voilà -- pavlova.

Both Australia and New Zealand claim they invented the recipe, and the dispute has persisted to this day, nearly 100 years later.

4 November 1930
Phar Lap wins the Melbourne Cup. Born in New Zealand and trained in Australia, the legendary thoroughbred is hailed as one of the greatest racehorses of all time. Both countries induct him into their respective Racing Halls of Fame, and both insist he’s theirs.

Sometime in 1985
Melbourne, Australia. The band Crowded House forms. Its members: Neil Finn (Kiwi vocalist, guitarist, and songwriter), Paul Hester (Aussie drummer), and Nick Seymour (Aussie bassist). They release Don’t Dream It’s Over in 1986, which becomes a global hit. Cue the trans-Tasman squabble: Is it an Australian band (formed there, majority Aussie) or a New Zealand band (fronted by Finn)?

The song is later voted the 7th-best Australian song and 2nd-best New Zealand song of all time by rival polls. Like pavlova and Phar Lap, the feud remains unresolved.

Is Crowded House the greatest band of all time? No. Thankfully, we don’t need a rock band WAR to settle that.

Also Sometime in 1985
Russell Crowe leaves New Zealand to pursue acting in Australia—a country he’d already called home for 10 years (1968–1978). His music career in NZ had fizzled, with singles sinking without a trace. Meanwhile, his cousins Martin and Jeff Crowe are cricket icons for the New Zealand cricket team. Russell? The family’s “disappointment.”

18 October 1990
The Crossing debuts, marking Russell Crowe’s first lead role. Crowded House covers She’s Not There by The Zombies for the soundtrack.

14 May 1997
L.A. Confidential premieres at Cannes. Directed by Curtis Hanson (who found Crowe “repulsive, scary, but captivating”), it earns 9 Oscar nominations and cements Crowe as a Hollywood heavyweight.

1 May 2000
Gladiator storms cinemas. Crowe’s Oscar-worthy turn as Maximus sparks a fresh Australia vs. New Zealand feud: Who gets to claim him?

Given the bitter precedents of pavlova, Phar Lap, and Crowded House, tensions escalate. Violence looms. Desperate, Prime Ministers John Howard (Australia) and Helen Clark (NZ) summon Crowe to a summit.

Crowe arrives with a solution: “Look, I’ve invented this game. It’s awesome. Let’s get Aussie and Kiwi teams together. Whichever country wins gets to claim me for the year.”

He hands Howard and Clark a baseball each and grabs a bat. “Throw that ball at me.”

Howard throws first.

Crack.

Crowe launches it 902 feet. Clark goes next.

Crack.

878 feet. All three nod. This’ll work.

And that, folks, is the story of how Russell Crowe invented baseball -- and saved Australia and New Zealand from all-out war in the year 2000.