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Mmm... MVP Season. 🍩
By Homer J. Simpson
Okay okay okay, so get this... Eric Rehfeld, this dude is 35 years old—ancient! Like, older than Lenny’s gym socks. And before the 1915 season started, he was all like, “Maybe this is it, maybe I’m done,” and then—BAM! MVP, baby!! 💥
That's right! The guy CRUSHED it for the Chicago White Sox. He batted .327—which is like, really good, I think—and his on-base thingy was .465! That’s almost HALF the time he got on base! You know what else happens half the time? I eat donuts! Coincidence? I think not!
Let’s break it down like a chili dog at a tailgate:
178 hits (that’s like, a bajillion!)
40 doubles, 13 triples, and 10 homers (Homer approves!)
101 RBIs (runs batted in, duh)
110 runs scored (that’s... more than 100!)
AND he played 159 games, which is basically all the games. Even I don’t show up to work that much!
So the MVP voters were like, “D’oh! We can’t ignore that!” and gave him 24 outta 30 first place votes. Boom! 🍻
Here’s the vote scoreboard, in case you like numbers and stuff:
Eric Rehfeld - White Sox - 24 first place - 388 points
Mike Lord - A’s - 5 first place - 281 points
Josh Freeman - Mariners - 0 first place - 211 points
And like, a whole bunch of other guys...
Rehfeld even said, “I feel almost as good as I did when I was 20.” Pfft. Yeah right. At 20, I could eat a pizza and a burrito in one sitting and still run for the couch when Marge called. But hey—this guy’s a machine!
So hats off to you, Rehfeld. You proved age is just a number... and that number is MVP! Woo-hoo! 🎉🥳⚾
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna celebrate with a hot dog... or five.
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