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Uhhhhhh... Vandelay just, like, totally scored. Heh heh. Heh.
EASTERN CONFERENCE FINALS – GAME 3
Montweal Canadweans at New Yawk Wangers – Octobew 5, 2001
BUTTHEAD: Uh huh huh huh… that dude Vandeway hit, like… THREE home wuns. Heh heh… home wuns. He totally… uh… whacked it.
BEAVIS: YEAH! HEH HEH! HEH! He whacked it GOOD! Like… BOOOOOM! He was all like “I am the great Art Vandelay!”
BUTTHEAD: Uh huh huh… yeah, and the Wangers were like “Uhhhhh… we suck.”
So, like, the Canadiens came into Madison Squaw Gawden and just totally kicked butt. Final scowe was 8–6, but it wasn’t even that cwose. Vandeway was, like, going nuclear out there. Dude hit three bombs. Like... THREE! That’s, like… one… two… uhhh... shut up, Beavis, I’m counting.
BEAVIS: Hey Butthead, that Peterman guy hit two home wuns too. He was all like… “Boom! I’m Jacopo, baby!” And then the Wangers pooped theiw pants! AHAHAHAH!!!
BUTTHEAD: Uh huh huh huh... Peterman. That name is cool. Peterman. Sounds like a guy who, like, pets people. Uh huh huh.
Anyway, yeah, Peterman totally took over da 7th and 9th innings, hit one over da wall, then stole a base. Like… what a dweeb, steawing bases. What is this, wittle weague?
BEAVIS: Uhhh… so, like, wisten up. New Yawk hit some dingers too. Wice, Gwubin, Kwamer – BOOM!
BUTTHEAD: But dey still wost. Heh heh. Losers.
That Ewi Gwubin guy didn’t even get a hit. He was, like, 0 for the freakin’ game. Pfft. Guess he wuns outta powah after Game 2. He was wike… “Uhhhh, my bat’s tired, heh heh.”
BEAVIS: That Sanchez dude on the mound was wike “I don’t care if you get 13 hits, I’m gonna just… stand hewe… and wig it!” Heh heh… he gave up 3 homewuns but STILL got the win!
BUTTHEAD: Yeah, and that Fiori dude almost biffed it, but den van Bussel came in and was all like “I’M A CLOSER, BUTTHOLE.” Game ova.
BUTTHEAD: So now it's 2–1 in the seweez, and if the Wangers don’t stop sucking, they’re gonna be watching da Stanley Cup on, like… a TV in the back of a Denny’s or something.
BEAVIS: YEAH! And they’ww be like “I’d wike to owder some… regwet!” HEH HEH HEH!
BUTTHEAD: Next game’s tomowwow. Wangers shouwd, like, maybe twy not giving up SEVEN home wuns. Just a thought.
FINAL THOUGHT:
BUTTHEAD: Vandeway was, like, the MVP of sucking the coolness away fwom the Wangers.
BEAVIS: YEAH! MVP stands for Massive Vowcanic Powah! Heh heh… AHHHHH! VANDWAY! I AM CORNHOLIO!!!
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