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WHATCHA GONNA DO, CHICAGO, WHEN THE RANGERS RUN WILD ON YOU?!
MARK GRUBIN AND THE RANGERS DROP A 19-BOMB IN GAME 1 BROTHER!!
By Hulk Hogan, reporting straight from the squared circle of the Stanley Cup Finals!
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS — LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHIN’, MEAN GENE!
The Rangers walked into the United Center, looked the Blackhawks straight in the eyes, and said: “We’re the champions of the universe, JACK!” And then they did what real champs do, brother — they dropped the leg, the elbow, AND the big boot — most in the first six innings!
It was a 19-4 SMACKDOWN, courtesy of Mark Grubin, the heavy-hitting Hulkamaniac of center field, who went 3-for-5 with two monster homers, drove in four runs, and ran wild all over the Windy City!
THE MADNESS STARTED EARLY, DUDE!
In the very first inning, the Rangers didn’t just come out swingin’ — they came out flexin’, pumpin’, and slammin’ with a 4-run blast that sent shockwaves through Chi-Town! Bobby Rice? Double. Torres? Double. And oh yeah — Omar Alcala smashed TWO home runs like a steel chair to the face!
The Blackhawks didn’t know what hit ‘em, brother!
HULKAMANIA’S RUNNING THROUGH THE GRUBIN FAMILY!
Mark Grubin wasn’t alone in dishing out the punishment, brother. Elliot Grubin dropped TWO bombs of his own! And Avery? While he didn’t go yard this time, he doubled in the 4th and kept the heat on like a 24-inch python squeezing the life out of the opposition!
Even Kosmo “Krazy Legs” Kramer got in on the action with a two-run jack, showing why he’s the MVP of your heart, dude!
THE GI-HUN EXPRESS KEEPS ROLLING!
And while the bats were body-slamming everything in sight, starter Seong Gi-Hun went the distance with a complete game, 9-hit performance, keeping the Blackhawks in a figure-four leg lock all night long!
He wasn’t walking anybody. He wasn’t messing around. Just throwin’ strikes and droppin’ fools.
SO WHAT’S NEXT, BROTHER?!
Game 2. Same arena. Different night. But the message is clear, man:
You step into the ring with the New York Rangers, you better bring more than skates and sticks — you better bring HEART, brother!
Because the Rangers are out for Cup #10... and there ain’t a thing the Blackhawks can do if they don’t stop the Grubin Bros., Kramer, and the rest of the Ranger Maniacs from storming all the way to glory, brother!
So I got one question for ya, Chicago:
WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN THE RANGERS DROP 19 ON YOU… AGAIN?!
💪🎤 HULK OUT!
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