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🎙️IF YA SMELLLLLLLL-LA-LA-LA-LAOW… WHAT THE WHITE SOX… ARE COOKIN’!!! 🎤🔥
FINALLY… the ALDS has come back… to the South Side of CHICAGOOOO!
The White Sox came out swingin’ in Game 1 of the American League Division Series, and let The Rock tell ya somethin’ — they laid the smacketh down on the Baltimore Orioles’ candy feathers with a 2–0 shutout in front of a crowd louder than the Brahma Bull at WrestleMania!
Let’s talk about the man of the hour, the pitcher of the power, the sultan of the slider — Matt “The Main Event” Terry! Seven innings of pure electrification. Four hits, no runs, one walk, and a strikeout so smooth it left the Orioles cryin’ in their crab cakes. If you smell toast… that’s just Matt Terry cookin’ up a goose egg on the scoreboard!
And then… the bottom of the fourth. OHHHH, the bottom of the fourth. The White Sox got their shot, and they took it like a steel chair to the ribs. K. Centeno with the RBI that got the people out of their seats. DANNY “THE PEOPLES CATCHER” SANCHEZ follows it up with a shot through the infield like a Rock Bottom through a table — BAM — 2-0, Sox.
Meanwhile, Baltimore? ZERO runs. FIVE hits. ONE poor lonely fan still clappin’ in the 9th inning. The only thing colder than their bats is the look The Rock gives to jabronis who try to cut the line at catering.
Let’s give a little golf clap to Albert Garay, Orioles pitcher — he went eight full innings, held the Sox to five hits and two runs. But just like The Rock’s 1999 haircut — buddy, it wasn’t enough. This is the playoffs. This is Chicago. This is where legends are born and jabronis are sent home.
And then came D. Moran, closin’ it out with the kind of dominance you only see when The Rock’s about to drop The People’s Elbow. Two innings, one hit, and NO MERCY. That’s how you open a postseason.
So what’s next?
Game 2, same time, same ring. The Sox are up 1-0, and they’re lookin’ to take this series, raise the AL pennant, and march their jabroni-stompin’ selves all the way back to the World Series.
So Baltimore — pack your bags, warm up your bus, and tell the clubhouse cook to put away the lobster rolls, BECAUSE…
THE CHICAGO WHITE SOX ARE ROLLIN’, AND THERE AIN’T NOTHIN’ YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.
🎤 IF YA SMELLLLLLL… WHAT THE SOOOOOOOOOOX… ARE COOKIN’!!! 🔥🔥🔥
(Raises eyebrow. Walks off. Crowd explodes.)
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