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1916 NL Platinum Stick winners
Well now. Looks like some folks made themselves useful this season. Swung a piece of wood, ran in circles, collected numbers like they were bottle caps.
Major League Baseball handed out their little Platinum Stick Awards today—the kind of thing you dust off once a year when company comes over. Officially, it's for the top offensive performer at each position in the National League. Unofficially? It's a polite way of saying you did more damage than the guy next to you.
Let’s take a walk down the list, shall we?
⚾ Catcher
Ricardo Calzolai (Los Angeles Dodgers)
A backstop with hands like cinder blocks and a bat that didn’t know when to quit. .298 average, 8 homers, and a WAR just shy of 7. That’s not catching—that’s execution.
⚾ First Baseman
Angelo Liotta (Cincinnati Reds)
This guy ran 86 bases like someone was chasing him. Only one home run, but you know what they say—stealth is a weapon too. 8.9 WAR. No accident.
⚾ Second Baseman
Alex Ojeda (Cincinnati Reds)
Cincinnati again. Huh. Maybe there’s something in the water. 24 bombs and a .497 slugging. That’s not a second baseman, that’s an enforcer.
⚾ Third Baseman
Oscar Arispe (St. Louis Cardinals)
Oscar played third like he owned it—because he did. Nine home runs, 17 stolen bases, and a batting line that tells you he was quiet, but lethal. Kind of like a knife in a dark room.
⚾ Shortstop
Alan Sloan (New York Mets)
Sloan made contact more often than a hitman with a Rolodex. Sixteen home runs, 15 steals—versatile. Which is another way of saying dangerous.
⚾ Left Fielder
Matt Williams (San Diego Padres)
One home run. Not much on paper. But .323 average and 29 stolen bases? That's a guy who doesn’t need to swing hard to hurt you. He just… makes it happen.
⚾ Center Fielder
Jaden Hunter (Arizona Diamondbacks)
Look, you don’t win these things on looks. Jaden hit .246 and still walked away with a trophy. Why? Because he stole 52 bases and never looked back. Efficient. Cold. Respectable.
⚾ Right Fielder
Vince Brown (Philadelphia Phillies)
Thirteen home runs, 53 stolen bases. .386 OBP. That’s a man who sees opportunity and takes it. Not because he wants it. Because he can.
⚾ Designated Hitter
Juan Flores (Washington Nationals)
DHs don’t play defense. That’s fine. Flores didn’t need to. He just got on base, 81 times stole a bag, and left the mess for someone else to clean up.
So there you have it. Nine men with bats and no conscience, carving their names into the woodgrain of history. Platinum Stick winners, 1916.
You think that means something?
To them, maybe. To the rest of us? Just a reminder that when the lights go down and the fans go home, somebody always ends up on top—and somebody else ends up under the bus.
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