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LONG ISLAND ISLANDERS @ FLORIDA PANTHERS — SEPTEMBER 25, 2002
Recap by Peter Gibbons, guy who used to care about things... kinda.
So yeah, I’m gonna go ahead and talk about this game between Long Island and Florida. Not that it matters. I mean, it was basically four hours of chaos, a bunch of guys hitting the crap out of the ball, and a bunch of pitchers pretending like they’ve never done this before.
Final score: Long Island 15, Florida 13.
That’s not a typo. That’s just what happens when nobody really wants to be at work.
Let’s just say if this game were played in an office, HR would be sending out a "Let's talk about performance" email to every pitcher involved. Except maybe Brenton. That guy actually tried.
Adrie Sijtsma, Definitely Not Doing the Bare Minimum
So there’s this dude, Adrie Sijtsma. Second baseman. Probably one of those guys who actually likes his job. He went 2-for-3, hit a home run, walked twice, and somehow ended up with 4 RBI and 3 runs scored.
I mean, I guess if you’re gonna bother showing up to a baseball game, you might as well go all in. Some people are just built that way.
Eighth-Inning Madness (a.k.a. TPS Report-Level Fire Drill)
Let’s talk about the eighth inning. Florida scored six runs. Six. Like they suddenly remembered they were getting paid to play. Home runs from Espinoza and Salad — yes, there’s a guy named Salad — tried to make it interesting. And yeah, the Panthers made it close, but... let’s be honest, they still lost. So, classic Florida.
Also, Espinoza hit two home runs. Probably still got overlooked in the postgame meeting.
Pitching... Was There
Look, I’m not saying the pitching was bad. Actually, no — that’s exactly what I’m saying. This was like watching a staff meeting where no one read the agenda. Guys walking batters, giving up bombs left and right. ERA’s floating in the double digits like they’re balloon animals at a kid’s birthday party.
Florida’s D. Felipe? Faced 5 batters, gave up 3 runs. ERA: 54.00.
Long Island’s E. Rivera? Gave up 4 runs without recording a single out. That’s not pitching, that’s just clocking in to watch things burn.
So What Now?
Long Island’s up 3-1 in the series. One more win and they’re on to the Conference Finals. They’ll play Game 5 back at UBS Arena on Friday. Probably gonna win unless they collectively decide they’re done trying.
Personally, I’d rather be fishing. Or sleeping. Or maybe gutting the break room printer with a baseball bat. But hey — if you’re into dramatic baseball with no defense and enough scoring to make a football coach blush, this was your game.
Anyway... if you could go ahead and give Sijtsma the MVP parking spot early, that’d be great.
Oh, and Florida? Yeah, I’m gonna need you to come in on Friday... and win. Mmmkay?
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