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Lex Luthor's Broadcast to the Masses
Transcript from LexCorp Sports & Intelligence Division, 2002 Awards Review
Ah, the fragile, fleeting concept of age. Mortals cling to it—some fear it, others revere it. But every so often, someone defies the decay, stares into the abyss of decline, and spits in its eye.
Ramon Reyes, pitcher of the Vegas Golden Knights, 35 years old—ancient by athletic standards—has done just that. Today, the baseball establishment bowed before him, bestowing upon the grizzled veteran the Western Conference Pitcher of the Year Award.
And frankly? I’m not surprised. Greatness, after all, is not the domain of youth. It’s the reward of discipline, strategy, intellect. Qualities I find... familiar.
Let’s examine the evidence, shall we?
4.01 ERA — Not flawless, no. But in an age of inflated offensive stats, it’s battle-hardened efficiency.
23 victories — A commander of the diamond.
5 defeats — Fewer than most. No margin for mediocrity.
206 strikeouts — Precision.
70 walks in 237.2 innings — Controlled fury.
The vote? Predictable.
20 first-place votes out of 36—he won, not by popularity, but by results.
186 total points, far ahead of Colorado’s Manny Martinez (10 votes, 126 points) and the ever-aggressive Dave Schultz of Minnesota (4 votes, 113 points).
The rest? Footnotes. Asai, Tsung, Fernandez... talented, yes. But Reyes is a master.
Let us not mistake sentiment for truth: Ramon Reyes isn’t here to make us feel good. He’s here because he outlasted the brash youth and outwitted the overhyped arms. He is, in essence, proof that power, when guided by calculation, is eternal.
And while others marvel at his longevity, I see something far more valuable:
Control.
You don’t need a cape to be extraordinary. You need a plan, execution... and just enough venom in your fastball.
Congratulations, Mr. Reyes. You’ve done more than win an award. You’ve reminded the world that age is irrelevant—when you’ve already outsmarted time.
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