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1880 IPA
Marston Nine: 2nd Pro Cup Title
1873 1880
Mr. Lippman’s Championship Memo — October 3, 1880
To: Pendant Publishing – Historical Sports Review Division
Subject: Marston Nine Clinch Pro Cup with Literary Precision
Well, well, well. The Marston Nine, in front of a modest but spirited crowd of 4,228 at Lowe’s Park, completed a four-game sweep of the Kenwood Wildcats with a 5-0 victory. It was clean. It was clinical. It was, dare I say… publishable.
Let’s start with the most compelling sentence in this narrative:
Ditikara Somasundara — Complete game. One hit. No walks. No earned runs. Five strikeouts.
That’s not just a pitching line, that’s a thesis statement. A masterclass in restraint and precision, clocking in at just 118 pitches—not one wasted word, not a single unnecessary semicolon. Player of the Game? Please. He’s the author of this story.
Kenwood, meanwhile, came to the plate 30 times and managed one single hit (courtesy of S. Saurin, a lone clause in a paragraph begging for action). The rest? A string of zeroes and five strikeouts, broken only by the occasional weak contact. Their offense read like a manuscript rejected on the first page.
Let’s talk about the Marston lineup:
No long-winded soliloquies here—just a handful of well-placed hits and efficient run production.
S. Pegas scores twice.
A. Nivedita hits a triple in the fourth.
D. Tung brings in two with a clean swing that any copy editor would approve.
It’s not flashy. It’s not overwrought. It’s effective storytelling.
Now—errors. Three for Marston, one for Kenwood. Sloppy? Perhaps. But let’s not get bogged down in punctuation when the prose is this strong.
Kenwood’s pitching?
S. Scott gave them seven innings, but gave up five earned runs on six hits. No walks, which is commendable. Still, Game Score of 45? That’s a D-minus in my class. M. Ning cleaned up in the eighth, but by then, the plot had already resolved.
Marston finishes the season at 96-58. First in the Ruthlandian Union. And now, champions. Their second Pro Cup title, which, by historical standards, puts them firmly in classic territory—perhaps not quite Tolstoy, but certainly Dickensian.
Final takeaway?
“Unbelievable for us, for our fans,” said manager Aderrig Subandrio.
Unbelievable? No.
Earned. Deserved. Edited to perfection.
Kenwood, meanwhile, returns home with nothing but a blank page and a lot of red ink. Manager Jonathan Garcia’s quote?
“They simply outplayed us, they deserve it.”
Yes, Jonathan. They did. And if you’re lucky, someday your team might write a story like this one.
Until then, congratulations to the Marston Nine, champions of structure, balance, and timely execution.
A team that knows how to write the ending.
— Mr. Lippman
Editor-in-Chief, Pendant Publishing
Pro Cup Traditionalist. Syntax Enforcer.
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