[jg2977]

[John McEnroe voice — mid-rant, headset crackling with disbelief, half standing in the booth]

“YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS!!!”

That’s right, folks! This wasn’t a baseball game — it was an absolute demolition at Great American Ball Park! I mean, 12-0?? The Cincinnati Reds just served up a grand slam-level beatdown on the Washington Nationals, and quite frankly, I haven't seen dominance like that since Björn Borg in '81 — and he wasn’t hitting two home runs like David Camacho just did!

Let’s start with that first inning — FIVE RUNS in the blink of an eye! Before the Nationals could even adjust their jock straps, Carrasco was out, his ERA sitting at 67.50 — and no, that’s not a typo, that's a thermonuclear meltdown! I’ve seen tennis players double fault six times in a row and still keep their dignity. This? This was a mercy mission!

David Camacho — are you KIDDING ME??
Four hits, TWO bombs, six RBI, and an MVP trophy to match? That man was hitting missiles like he was trying to de-orbit satellites. If he were on a tennis court, the chair umpire would be ducking behind the net!

And how about Rafael Alvarado on the mound? The guy threw a complete game shutout with 127 pitches — SEVEN hits, NO runs, NO walks... It’s like the Nationals were swinging with a frying pan! I haven’t seen that kind of control since Federer in his prime — and trust me, he wasn’t doing it with a 95 mph fastball!

Meanwhile, the Nationals — poor, poor Nationals — couldn’t buy a run if they offered to refinance their stadium. Seven hits, no runs, two errors, and enough men left on base to fill a bus. Look, I don’t want to pile on here, but if you’re showing up to the playoffs and your cleanup hitter goes 0-for-4 with four men left on base, you might want to stay home and watch it on the radio.

Bottom line?
The Reds didn’t just win this series — they served it, aced it, and broke the Nationals’ will in straight sets. They’re moving on to face the Mets, and if I’m New York, I’m watching tape of Camacho like it’s the Zapruder film.

Because if the Reds keep playing like this…
YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS thinking anyone’s stopping them.

🎾⚾ Reds advance. Nationals evaporate. Game, set, and humiliation.