[jg2977]

Seven bloody hells, what a mess of a game that was. Chicago put the boots to Calgary, sixteen to nine, and it wasn’t even that close. Blackhawks came out swinging like they’d been promised gold at the end of it, and Nick Foligno? That bastard swung the bat like he had a personal grudge against the ball. Three home runs. Eight runs driven in. Four times crossing the plate like it was his own damned castle. Man’s a one-man siege tower.
Calgary? They had their moments—Braun smashed a couple over the wall, Kadri got his licks in, and Grubin sent one sailing. But their pitchers looked like scared smallfolk tossing meat to a pack of hounds. Sellars didn’t last long—two innings, seven hits, six runs, two balls over the fence. After that, the bullpen kept bleeding runs like a gut-stabbed pig.

Chicago’s lineup? Every other man hit like they’d been feasting on bear meat all week. Bedard went five for five, Foligno turned the place into his personal slaughterhouse, Trevino and Klompus joined in the pillaging. By the time the seventh rolled around, the Flames were more ash than fire.

And just to keep things lively, there was a proper scrap in the seventh—Salles and Almaraz both tossed for starting a bench-clearing brawl. At least someone in Calgary showed a bit of fight, even if it wasn’t with a bat.

So now Chicago’s up one game to none in the series, the fans are drunk and happy, and tomorrow night, they’ll try to do it again. If the Flames don’t find some steel in their spines, this’ll be over quicker than a chicken in a wolf’s den.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chicago smashed Calgary’s skull in, sixteen to nine. Nick Foligno – gods help us – went on a rampage: three homers, four runs scored, eight driven in. Might as well have lit the pitcher’s mound on fire for all the defense the Flames showed. Hawks lead the series 1–0.
CALGARY – swings and misses
Batting:
Braun (SS) – 5 swings, 2 runs, 2 hits, 3 driven in, no bloody walks, no strikeouts. Two homers. Swung like a man who actually gives a damn.
Hernandez (DH) – 5 swings, 1 lousy hit, nothing else. May as well have been picking daisies.
Kadri (3B) – 4 swings, 2 runs, 3 hits, 1 RBI, 1 walk. Smashed one over the wall.
Grubin (CF) – 4 swings, 3 runs, 2 hits, 1 RBI, 1 walk. Sent one deep too.
Salles (1B) – 2 swings, 1 hit, 2 RBIs, 1 walk. Got binned in the brawl.
Holder (PR) – ran for Salles, did sod-all.
Willems (1B) – came in after the mess, struck out like it was his job.
Piceno (LF) – 5 swings, 1 hit. Mostly fresh air.
Bautista (2B) – 5 swings, 2 hits, still useless on the scoreboard.
Gutierrez (RF) – 5 swings, 2 hits, 1 RBI.
Mercado (C) – 5 swings, 1 hit, 1 RBI. Grounded into a bloody double play when they needed life.
Highlights:
Braun with two big ones (3rd inning off Perez, 8th off Gomez), Kadri and Grubin each got one in the 7th. Doubles from Salles, Kadri, Mercado, and Gutierrez. Nine bastards left on base—nine.
Fielding:
Four double plays, which is nice, but useless when you give up sixteen runs.

CHICAGO – the slaughterers
Batting:
Hextall (SS) – 5 swings, 4 hits, 1 RBI. Tripled once, doubled once, and made Calgary cry.
Klompus (3B) – 6 swings, 2 hits, 2 RBIs. Sent one deep in the 8th just to rub salt in it.
Bedard (CF) – perfect 5-for-5, 4 runs, 1 RBI, a homer, and two doubles. Played like the reaper in cleats.
Foligno (RF) – the butcher himself: 5 swings, 4 hits, 8 RBIs, 3 homers. Stole a base just because he could.
Trevino (LF) – 6 swings, 2 hits, 1 RBI, 1 homer.
Diaz (1B) – 5 swings, 1 hit, 1 RBI. Kept his head down and let the others do the killing.
Gonzalez (2B) – 2 swings, 2 hits, walked thrice.
Kim (C) – 5 swings, 3 hits, 1 RBI, but let a passed ball slip.
Lautzenheiser (DH) – 5 swings, 1 hit, 1 RBI. Doubled once.
Highlights:
Foligno with three moonshots (1st, 3rd, 7th), Trevino and Bedard each with one, Klompus with one. Doubles flying everywhere—Bedard twice, Hextall, Gonzalez, Lautzenheiser. Ten left on base, but who cares when you’re bludgeoning the other side.
Fielding:
One tidy double play. That’s all they needed.

Calgary Pitching – leaky bucket brigade
Sellars (L) – 2 innings, 7 hits, 6 runs, 2 homers. Might as well have pitched underhand.
Hudson – 1.2 innings, 5 hits, 3 runs, 2 homers, and 3 walks. Bloody generous.
McInnis – 1.1 innings, kept the bleeding down to zero runs. Small mercy.
Hashimoto – two-thirds of an inning, 4 hits, 3 runs. Looked lost.
Guzman – 1.1 innings, 3 hits, 2 runs, 1 homer.
Munoz – 1 inning, 4 hits, 2 runs, 1 homer.
Chicago Pitching – just enough steel
Perez (W) – 6.1 innings, 7 hits, 3 runs, 7 strikeouts. Kept his foot on their throats.
Almaraz – one out, 2 hits, 2 runs, 2 homers, and tossed for fighting.
Gomez – two-thirds of an inning, 3 hits, 3 runs, 1 homer.
Nunez – 1.2 innings, 3 hits, 1 run, finished the job.
GAME NOTES
Player of the Game: Nick bloody Foligno, no question.
Ballpark: United Center. 63 degrees, wind pushing right to left.
Time: Four bloody hours.
Attendance: 42,207 drunks and lunatics.
The dust-up in the 7th got Salles and Almaraz tossed after fists started flying.
Foligno tied the team playoff record for homers in a game (3) and set the RBI mark (8).
Bedard tied the hits record (5).