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“Ball Arena, Denver, Colorado… the Nature Boy was in the building, baby, and he had a front row seat to HISTORY!”
Nothing — and I mean nothing — could stop Ron Hextall, WOOOO! Not the Colorado Avalanche, not their pitching staff, not even the thin air up in the Rockies! The 34-year-old shortstop strutted down to that plate, kissed the sky, and sent FOUR baseballs flying over the fence like they owed him money, brother!
And when the smoke cleared? The Chicago Blackhawks walked out with a 22–12 win, styling, profiling, limousine riding, jet flying, kiss-stealing, wheelin’ and dealin’ their way to the Stanley Cup Finals! WOOOO!
Six hits in seven at-bats! Four home runs! Eight RBI! Five runs scored! That’s not just a game — that’s a show, baby! That’s a Rolex-wearing, diamond ring-wearing main event!
First inning, solo shot! WOOOO! Second inning, solo shot! WOOOO! Fourth inning — GRAND SLAM, daddy! GRAND SLAM! And in the sixth? Another two-run bomb! You think he was done? Uh-uh — still had time to single in the seventh and triple in the ninth just to make sure they knew who the man was.
This season? .437 batting average, 116 home runs, 224 RBIs… and 290 runs scored! That’s why they call him the dirtiest player in the game — because he makes pitchers look downright foolish!
So to the New York Rangers in the Finals? You’re next! WOOOO!
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