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Mike (measured, analytical):
“Well, Doggie, the Orioles — again. Hundred wins, ninth division title. This is a team that knows how to win the regular season. They’re deep, the pitching’s strong, lineup’s balanced. And listen, they’re in position for that fifth World Series title. You look at the AL East, they are — without question — the class of the division.”
Mad Dog (fired up, rapid):
“MIKEY, MIKEY! Baltimore AGAIN! A HUNDRED wins! That’s nine division titles — NINE! They’re not just the class of the division, THEY’RE THE CLASS OF BASEBALL! Stronger than last year, they’re loaded! Don’t tell me about Texas, don’t tell me about the Cardinals — the Orioles are RIGHT there with anybody!!”
Mike:
“Fair enough, but let’s not bury the Yankees here. Ninety-six wins. Back in the playoffs. They’ve put themselves in position, and you never know in October. The Orioles may be the favorite, but the Yankees have the star power, they’ve got the arms, and they’re battle tested.”
Mad Dog:
“YEAH, but Mike, the YANKEES — since 1913 they haven’t been to a League Championship Series! You gonna trust ‘em in the playoffs? I don’t! Baltimore, you trust. The Yankees? They’ll win you games in May, they’ll win you games in June — but when the lights get BRIGHT? They fold!”
Mike (calm rebuttal):
“Look, I hear ya, but the Yankees are not Boston, Toronto, or Tampa Bay. Those teams? They’re done. Way behind. Boston at 77 wins, Toronto 71, Tampa 70. They’re miles away from competing. Baltimore and New York are carrying this division. The rest of ‘em — they’re rebuilding, and it’s gonna be a long process.”
Mad Dog (laughing, jabbing):
“MILES away, MIKEY! You’re gonna need a MAP to find Boston, Toronto, and Tampa! They’re so far behind, you may as well relegate ‘em to Triple-A! It’s the Orioles and the Yankees, baby — everybody else, SEE YA LATER!”
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