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Mike (calm, measured):
“Dog, the San Francisco Giants — 104 wins, 58 losses. Another powerhouse season. They’re the only team in the division to reach October, and it really wasn’t close. The Giants were the class of the NL West from start to finish.”
Mad Dog (arms flailing, voice rising):
“MIKE, THEY OWNED THIS DIVISION! ONE HUNDRED AND FOUR WINS! THEY BEAT UP EVERYBODY! You could’ve ended this thing in JULY. Nobody — NOBODY — in the NL West was catching the Giants. They got pitching, they got hitting, they got everything you want in a championship team, Mike!”
Mike (nodding):
“And what makes it more impressive is, San Diego had a good year. Eighty-eight wins. They even forced that one-game playoff against the Cardinals. If they’d gotten in, Dog, they would’ve been a dangerous club in October.”
Mad Dog (pounding the table):
“MIKE, IT’S A CRIME! A CRIME THAT SAN DIEGO DIDN’T GET IN! EIGHTY-EIGHT WINS, A GOOD TEAM, TREMENDOUS STORYLINES — AND THEY’RE SITTING AT HOME BECAUSE THE CARDINALS SNUCK IN THE BACK DOOR! I MEAN, COME ON! Padres in the postseason would’ve been FUN, Mike!”
Mike (shrugging):
“Arizona at 77-85, Colorado at 73-89 — both irrelevant in the big picture. Mediocre baseball, not nearly enough to compete with the Giants.”
Mad Dog (rolling his eyes):
“MIKE, TERRIBLE! TERRIBLE BASEBALL! Arizona, Colorado — you can’t even get to .500? You’re wasting everyone’s time. Nothing there. Just fodder for the Giants.”
Mike (matter-of-fact):
“And then, Dog, the Los Angeles Dodgers. NLCS last year. They were a contender. This year? Seventy-two and ninety. A complete collapse.”
Mad Dog (exploding):
“MIKE, WHAT A JOKE! THE DODGERS! LAST YEAR THEY’RE IN THE NLCS, THIS YEAR THEY FALL APART LIKE A CHEAP SUIT! SEVENTY-TWO WINS! That’s EMBARRASSING! They couldn’t pitch, they couldn’t hit, the whole thing fell apart. From NLCS to irrelevance — how do you explain that, Mike? HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN IT?!”
Mike (calmly closing):
“You explain it by saying the Giants were just too good, Dog. This division was theirs from Day One. Everyone else was chasing shadows. San Francisco is the only NL West team in the postseason, and they’re going to be very tough to beat.”
Mad Dog (pointing at Mike):
“YOU SAID IT, MIKE! THE GIANTS ARE THE KINGS OF THE WEST, THE PADRES GOT ROBBED, AND THE DODGERS? AN ABSOLUTE EMBARRASSMENT! BRING ON OCTOBER, BABY!”
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