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NATIONAL HOCKEY LEAGUE
NEW YORK RANGERS AT LONG ISLAND ISLANDERS
10/07/2004
So the Rangers beat the Islanders, 22-3. Twenty-two runs! In a hockey game? …Wait, it’s baseball now? I don’t even know anymore.
I mean, 22 runs — that’s not a score, that’s what I spend at Taco Bell after midnight. “Did you order 22 runs?” No, I just wanted a burrito.
Will Cuylle had four hits, two of them home runs. That’s a lot of running. I don’t even like walking to the fridge. Meanwhile, the Islanders managed three. Three runs. That’s adorable. Like when your kid shows you a stick figure drawing and you have to be like, “Oh wow, you tried.”
And the first inning? The Rangers scored 14 runs. Fourteen! By the time the inning was over, the Islanders’ pitcher probably wanted to go work at Starbucks. At least there, if you give up 14 shots, people tip you.
Game 5 moves to Madison Square Garden. Which means the Islanders get to lose in front of twice as many people.
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