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“On a September night in Vancouver, the Minnesota Wild and the Canucks met not on the ice, but on the diamond. And wouldn’t you know it, the Wild had a most unlikely hero. Jerry Seinfeld — yes, that Jerry Seinfeld — playing second base as if he’d been born with a glove in one hand and a microphone in the other. Two hits, two runs scored, two driven in, and even a couple of walks for good measure. It’s a funny game, isn’t it?
Early on, Minnesota set the tone. A run in the first, two more in the second, and before the Canucks could even blink, it was 3–0. By the fourth, with a man on and a pitch that just hung there like a curveball waiting for the punchline, Andy Grubin turned it into a three-run homer. Six to nothing, Wild.
Now, baseball has a way of humbling everyone — pitchers, hitters, even broadcasters — but tonight, it humbled Vancouver’s staff most of all. By the eighth inning, Hyun-woo Kim stepped in against Tomas Pineda. Two men aboard, two outs, and a fastball that came in straight and left even faster. A towering drive, high, deep, gone. Eleven to one. The Wild weren’t just winning, they were dancing.
To their credit, Vancouver did not fold. H. Pennypacker gave the hometown fans something to cheer about with a two-run homer, and they clawed back three in the eighth. But baseball, like life, often comes down to timing. For Minnesota, the hits came when they needed them most. For Vancouver, they came too late.
And so the story of the night belongs to Jerry Seinfeld — the comedian turned ballplayer who reminded us all that sometimes the game writes a script so odd, you couldn’t make it up. Minnesota wins it, 11 to 4, and heads home with a two-games-to-none lead in the series.
And folks, that’s baseball.”
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