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Da Bears Guys Recap of Minnesota Wild vs. Calgary Flames, Game 4
Bill: “So… da Wild, dey were facin’ elimination, down tree-zip to da Flames. Looked like dey were cooked, like a sausage left too long on da grill. But—BUT—dey stave it off. Final score: five-four. Da Wild survive.”
Todd: “Da Wild. Survive. Like Ditka in a snowstorm, walkin’ uphill both ways. And lemme tell ya—Mila Grubin, huh? Dis guy goes t’ree-for-four. Two homers, a double. Drove in t’ree runs, scored twice. Dat’s not just clutch. Dat’s Ditka-esque.”
Carl: “Question: If Mila Grubin was actually Coach Ditka, but shrunk down to hockey size, how many homers would he hit?”
Bill: “Infinite. Plus one.”
Todd: “Correct.”
Pat: “Don’t forget, Kiyoharu Adachi steps up in da fourth inning, two outs, bam! Two-run shot, puts da Wild up four-to-one. Dat’s da kinda moxie Ditka would approve of.”
Carl: “And ya gotta factor in da weather. Rain, 43 degrees, wind blowin’ in. Not great baseball conditions, but what is rain to Ditka? Merely God’s way of cryin’ tears o’ joy.”
Bill: “So da Wild still trail da series, tree games to one. Next game, back in St. Paul. Question: how many games would it take Coach Ditka, playin’ alone against da Calgary Flames, to clinch da series?”
Todd: “One. And dat’s only ‘cause Ditka would spot ‘em a goal, outta mercy.”
Carl: “Da Bears!”
All together: “DA BEARS!”
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