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WELL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHIN’, BROTHER!! The Texas Rangers ran wild on those New York Yankees tonight at Globe Life Field, DUUUUDE! The Rangers dropped the big leg, the atomic elbow, and every power move in the book, JACK — and they smashed the pinstripes 11 to 1, brother!
And you better believe the Texas crowd was goin’ absolutely BONKERS, man! Vinny Luevanos was in the ring — I mean, on the mound — throwing absolute heat, brother! Eight and a third innings, only TWO hits, one lonely run, and eight strikeouts, DUUUDE! The man was droppin’ curveballs like body slams, brother!
Then you got my man DANNY MARTINEZ, hittin’ bombs like he’s droppin’ the big boot on the Yankees’ championship dreams, brother! Triple, homer, two RBIs, just flexin’ all over that New York pitching, JACK!
Tomas Guerrero? TWO RBIs and a homer of his own, brother! And Javy Norwood joined the party too — boom! Another long ball! It was a home run derby in Arlington, DUUUDE!
And now, whatcha gonna do, Yankees… whatcha gonna DO, when the Texas Rangers go up three games to NONE, brother?! They’re one win away from the World Series, man!
The Rangers are too strong, the crowd’s too loud, and Vinny Luevanos is throwin’ fireballs like a Texas-sized Hulkamaniac, brother! Tomorrow night, they could slam the door shut on New York’s season, DUUUUDE!
So to all the Hulkamaniacs down in Texas — say your prayers, eat your brisket, and get ready to celebrate, brother… because the RANGERS are runnin’ wild, JACK!!!
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