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Alright… picture it now, fellas. We’re in beautiful Denver, Colorado… the air is thin, the sausage is thick, and the Avalanche? They’re poundin’ the Oilers like a bratwurst on game day.
Da Avalanche.
Second inning — BOOM! — it’s like a buffet of dingers. You got Lee Heap, you got J. Sanchez, you got more hits than Ditka has mustache combs. Before you can say “pass me da Polish,” it’s 6–nothin’, Colorado.
Cale Makar? Fuggedaboutit. The guy goes 3-for-4, hits a bomb, walks once just for fun, scores three times… it’s like watchin’ Mike Ditka skate with a stick, if Mike Ditka wasn’t busy bein’ perfect at everything.
Da score: Avalanche 12, Oilers 4. That’s not just a win, that’s a smackdown.
And Lee Heap — you know, this guy’s hittin’ like he’s got a deep dish pizza waitin’ at home if he crosses the plate. Three hits, four RBIs, and a home run that still hasn’t landed. We’re talkin’ Waveland Avenue distance.
The Oilers? Look, they got some hits — Gretzky doubled twice, tried to rally. But when you give up twelve runs, let’s be honest… you’re not playin’ defense, you’re hostin’ a barbecue.
Pitching? Edmonton had more relievers than I got kielbasa on the grill — and none of ‘em could stop the bleeding. Colorado just kept pourin’ it on like gravy on a beef sandwich.
Final line: Colorado — 12 runs, 15 hits, and probably a few broken spirits in Edmonton. Oilers — 4 runs, 10 hits, and one long bus ride home.
Player of the Game? Da Makar.
Team of the Game? Da Avalanche.
Moral of the story? Don’t bring a spoon to a steakhouse, and don’t bring weak pitching to Denver.
Next game’s tomorrow night at Ball Arena. Avalanche up 2–1 in the series. And if they keep hittin’ like this?
Avalanche in five.
Ditka approves. 🏒🥩🍺
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