[jg2977]

Alright… here we go… lemme just tell ya somethin’—I mean, you can’t make this up. The New York Rangers, in their own building, Madison Square freakin’ Garden… blowin’ a critical Game 5… to the Hartford Whalers. The Whalers! A team that doesn’t even exist anymore! You gotta be kiddin’ me.
They lose this thing 8–3. And lemme tell ya… this wasn’t just a loss. This was a collapse. A disgrace. An embarrassment. This is Game 5 of the Conference Finals. You got a packed house, the place is rockin’, it’s a crisp October night in New York City—and the Rangers give ya this garbage.
First inning? BOOM. Zuke goes yard. Just like that, 2-0 Whalers. Not even time to sit down with your pretzel and your $14 Bud Light. But fine. It’s early. We can live with that.
Then the Rangers, ya know, they try. Couple of solo shots — Cuylle hits one, Bliebernicht hits one — we got ourselves a 3-2 Rangers lead in the sixth. Crowd’s buzzin’. You’re thinkin’, “Okay, we survived the early punch. Now we’re gonna step on their throats. We’re the New York Rangers.”
And then… it happens. Ninth inning. One out. Whalers up 4–3. Bases loaded. And who comes up? Mike freakin’ Zuke. This guy’s hittin’ like .673 for the postseason, like he’s Ted Williams and Babe Ruth had a kid. And of course… OF COURSE… grand slam. Grand. Slam. Over the wall. 8–3. Ballgame.
I’m tellin’ ya, Zuke absolutely destroyed us tonight. Five hits. Seven RBI. Seven!! That’s not a playoff line — that’s a video game! He made us look like amateurs out there. Our pitching? Total meltdown. Bunney in the ninth—brutal. Couldn’t get anybody out. He looked like he was throwin’ BP at a church picnic.
And don’t even get me started on the offense. Nine hits, three runs. You’re not winnin’ playoff games like that, folks. Rice got a couple knocks. Cuylle did his job. But the rest of this lineup? Nothin’. Ghosts. I’ve seen more life at a 3 a.m. diner in Hackensack.
Now you’re goin’ back to Hartford down 3–2. Hartford! You got your season on the line against a team named after a whale. I mean, c’mon. This shoulda been a laugher. Instead it’s a nightmare.
I’m sittin’ here, I’m lookin’ at this stat sheet—Zuke with two homers, seven runs batted in—and I’m thinkin’, “Where’s the pride? Where’s the urgency?” This is the New York Rangers, not the Yonkers Little League All-Stars!
You can’t blow this series. You can’t. Not to Hartford. You lose this series, it’s a stain on the franchise. Forever. And lemme tell ya somethin’ else—this city? It won’t forgive that. Not now. Not ever.
Game 6, Thursday night in Hartford Civic Center. Win or you’re done. No more excuses. No more talk. You gotta show up.
This was an epic disaster.
Zuke… 8. Rangers… 3.
I’m sick. I’m absolutely sick.