[Westheim]

Raccoons (20-17) @ Canadiens (12-24) – May 13-16, 2069

The damn Elks had gotten off to a wretched start and the Raccoons were in a technically hopeful position (if you ignore the bombed-out lineup) and that was exactly where a sixth-place Elks team wanted the Raccoons so they could to maximum damage to hopes and dreams we might stupidly harbor. They were just ninth in runs scored and seventh in runs allowed, too, so a major turnaround was to be expected. Why not start it in this four-game set? The Coons had not won any of the last seven season series against the damn Elks, lost the last five, and had gone 7-11 against them in ’68. Infielder Carlos Castro had already been lost for the season with a broken kneecap.

Projected matchups:
Cody Childress (2-4, 2.06 ERA) vs. Nick Waldron (3-3, 3.40 ERA)
Tony Gaytan (3-2, 3.83 ERA) vs. Ray Rath (2-1, 3.23 ERA)
A.C. Stebbins (3-3, 3.63 ERA) vs. Juan Rosado (0-2, 3.21 ERA)
Nick Walla (2-4, 3.17 ERA) vs. Nate Freeman (2-1, 2.72 ERA)

Only right-handed starters coming up from the Elks, and they only had one lefty reliever on the roster, Martyn Polaco (0-1, 5.40 ERA).

Game 1
POR: SS Duhe – 1B Fumero – CF Otal – 3B Gallo – RF Corral – LF van Otterdijk – C Flowe – 2B Leggett – P Childress
VAN: 3B W. de Leon – 2B Kilday – RF Lozada – 1B Atkins – CF D. Moore – LF Chenette – C Eaton – SS Rutecki – P Waldron

The Raccoons started the series with straight hits from their first three batters, and Benito Otal’s RBI single and J.P. Gallo’s sac fly gave them an early 2-0 lead. van Otterdijk hit another single, but was left on base with Otal. It was not enough to get me out from under my security blanket in my corner on the trusty brown couch in the office, and Todd Eaton cut the lead in half with a homer off Childress in the second inning. The Coons replied, though, getting straight singles from their 3-4-5 batters to have Jose Corral drive in a 1-out run in the top 3rd before van Otterdijk hit into a double play to kill the inning.

Childress was off with command and issued a leadoff walk to Eaton in the bottom 4th, his third free pass issued against one strikeout. John Rutecki singled, but a bad bunt by Waldron derailed the inning, getting Eaton out at third base and keeping the double play in order into which Willie de Leon then duly grounded into. No double play was turned on Tyler Chenette’s grounder in the bottom 5th after Childress had filled the bases with Roberto Lozada (‘nother walk), Rick Atkins, and Dan Moore (singles), and Wally Leggett only got the out at second base before Chenette beat out Jared Duhe’s return throw. The tying run scored on a wild pitch, Childress walked Eaton again, and then was unceremoniously yanked. Danny Nava rung up Rutecki to get out of the inning.

The Coons went through Nava, McMahan, and Dover from the pen while Waldron was still pitching and allowed a leadoff single to Otal in the eighth inning, but Gallo was available to hit into a double play and did so. Jose Corral singled, but as left stranded by van Otterdijk. The Elks then took Jason Holzmeister apart in the bottom of the inning, as Rutecki singled, John Bustillos hit a pinch-hit RBI double, and de Leon took the right-handed turd deep altogether. 6-3 Canadiens. Otal 3-4, RBI; Gallo 2-3, RBI; Corral 2-4, RBI;

Game 2
POR: SS Duhe – 1B Fumero – CF Otal – 3B Gallo – C Marquez – RF Corral – LF van Otterdijk – 2B Davis – P Gaytan
VAN: SS Barraza – 2B Kilday – RF Lozada – 1B Atkins – CF D. Moore – C Varner – LF Chenette – 3B W. de Leon – P Rath

Gaytan got obliterated pretty fast on Tuesday, allowing a double to Steve Varner and a home run to Chenette in the second inning, and then singles to Roberto Barraza and Matt Kilday, followed by Roberto Lozada’s 3-run homer in the third inning, quickly putting the Raccoons in a 5-0 hole. Gaytan ****** around until Barraza hit another double off him in the fourth, then was yanked for Rios to pitch long relief. The offense was non-existent, with just one measly van Otterdijk single in the box score through four innings, so I curled up tighter with Honeypaws under the blanket and made sobbing noises. It took the brown team seven innings to get a second single on the board – Marquez doing the futile honors – while Rios pitched 3.1 innings of scoreless, yet equally futile long relief. This was followed by Holzmeister giving up another run in the eighth inning, conceding two more singles. Rath finished a 2-hit shutout on 107 pitches, whiffing six Critters. 6-0 Canadiens. Rios 3.1 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 0 K;

Jason Holzmeister (2-1, 5.14 ERA) was made the Alley Cats’ problem again after this game, and the Raccoons brought up another ham-and-egger, Cam Bridges and his 3.65 ERA in relief in St. Pete.

Duhe and Otal got a day off on Wednesday. It wasn’t like they were hitting anyway.

Game 3
POR: 2B Fumero – C Marquez – RF Corral – 3B Gallo – LF van Otterdijk – SS Leggett – 1B Spink – CF Matas – P Stebbins
VAN: SS Barraza – CF D. Moore – RF Lozada – LF Atkins – C Varner – 2B Kilday – 1B Eaton – 3B W. de Leon – P J. Rosado

We started the third game with a Fumero single and Marquez spanking one into a double play right away, so yay, go us! Tony Spink also hit into an inning-ending double play in his first at-bat of the season after van Otterdijk and Leggett had gone to the corners with a pair of singles the inning after, and in the third inning Fumero reached with a 2-out single, stole second, and was left on base when Lorenzo Marquez lined out to Eaton at first.

The best that could be said about Stebbins meanwhile was that he pitched well to the defense for 2.2 innings, when Barraza singled and Stebbins motioned for the trainer. Luis Silva collected him and Cam Bridges made his own season debut in a scoreless game that would surely soon turn to garbage, although for the moment Dan Moore made the third out to short. The Raccoons got Gallo on base by being hit by Rosado with one down in the fourth, and after a useless out by van Otterdijk, Wally Leggett doubled to left. Gallo held at third base, and both runners were stranded when Spink grounded out. Bridges then returned to the hill and retired none of the first four Elks in the bottom 4th, all of whom scored. Lozada walked, Atkins singled, Varner walked, and Kilday singled in two, as would de Leon after Eaton popped out.

At this point the Raccoons gave up on the game. Bridges would go as long as it took for his paw to turn blue, and there would be a minimum of one roster move afterwards. This turned out to be 3.2 innings, allowing a leadoff single to de Leon in the seventh before drilling the ******* opposing pitcher. Barraza bunted the runners into scoring position, Nava replaced Bridges, got a pop from Moore and then had Lozada fly out to center. Schmieder pitched the eighth, but Rosado, a bruise notwithstanding, took his shutout into the ninth inning before walking van Otterdijk and allowing a 1-out single to Otal batting for Spink. Matas resolved the scoring threat by hitting into a game-ending 5-4-3 double play, and Rosado had a 7-hit shutout. 4-0 Canadiens. Fumero 2-4; Leggett 3-4, 2B; Otal (PH) 1-1; Stebbins 2.2 P, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 2 K;

Cam Bridges (0-1, 9.82 ERA) was removed from the roster right away. There were no news on Stebbins so far, so only one hunchbacked replacement was brought up, right-hander Juan Soriano, who had not seen the majors for almost two years. Thankfully we had so many 32-year-old punching bags stacked up in AAA!

Fumero and Gallo got a day off in the finale of this wretched, yet by Elk City standards rather average series.

Game 4
POR: SS Duhe – 2B Leggett – CF Otal – RF Corral – LF van Otterdijk – C Flowe – 3B Davis – 1B Spink – P Walla
VAN: SS Barraza – 2B Kilday – RF Lozada – 1B Atkins – CF D. Moore – C Varner – LF Chenette – 3B W. de Leon – P N. Freeman

Matt Kilday once more became an issue, getting a single and a stolen base his first two times up against Nick Walla, who stranded him the first time around, then struck out four Elks the rest of the way through the lineup, but was less lucky in the fourth inning when Kilday led off with the single and stolen base, and then scored on Rick Atkins’ single to right, which marked the first run of the game, in which one team was by now scoreless for their last 28 ******* innings. Walla allowed another single to Moore, a passed ball advanced the runners, but Varner whiffed, Chenette squeezed out a 2-out walk, and with the bags stacked, de Leon popped an 0-2 pitch to Jacob Davis to end the inning.

The Coons’ only hit so far had been a single by Jake Flowe, who dropped another one to begin the fifth inning, but that runner never got off first base. Leggett and Otal hit back-to-back 1-out singles in the sixth, but Corral banged into a double play after that.

Walla pitched into the eighth, but got nobody out before he was knocked out on straight hits by Eaton, Barraza, and Kilday, departing in a 2-0 game with two runners on base. Jesse Dover entered, gave up an RBI double to Lozada and a 3-piece to Atkins, and that was that. Soriano then came in to get the actual ******* outs in the inning. The Raccoons would go on to score a completely useless run in the ninth against Ernesto Culver after a screaming 32 innings of ******** nothing. 6-1 Canadiens. Fumero (PH) 1-1; Flowe 3-4, 2B; Gallo (PH) 1-1, RBI; Walla 7.0 IP, 7 H, 4 R, 4 ER, 2 BB, 8 K, L (2-5);

(sits silently on the couch, eyes all red)

A.C. Stebbins went on the DL on Friday morning when he was diagnosed with an oblique strain. It was not a *bad* strain, and he was expected to only miss two, maybe three starts. The Coons called up former tenth-rounder and then trash heap signing John Reynolds as roster filler for the weekend. The 24-year-old left-hander had a cutter, fork, miserable changeup, and 6.2 BB/9 in AAA.

Go Coons!

Raccoons (20-21) vs. Aces (20-22) – May 17-19, 2069

The battered Raccoons hosted the Aces on the weekend. The guests were on a 5-game winning streak (Coons: L6), and second in the league in scoring runs. They also gave up the third-most runs, but that would not be a problem for them this weekend… The Coons had lost the season series, five games to four, for both of the last two seasons. The Aces also had a few injuries, most notably outfielder Vic Lorenzo, but nothing that would give me any hope anymore.

Projected matchups:
Vinny Morales (3-3, 3.80 ERA) vs. Danny Ryba (4-3, 2.59 ERA)
Cody Childress (2-4, 2.50 ERA) vs. Tim Henderson (3-2, 3.74 ERA)
Tony Gaytan (3-3, 4.50 ERA) vs. Tim Cropp (1-4, 6.75 ERA)

More right-handers. Doesn’t matter. Can’t hit ******* anybody.

Corral and van Otterdijk were off on Friday.

Game 1
LVA: SS Hatakeyama – 1B A. Alfaro – C Haynes – LF A. Rosado – 2B Rodewald – RF A. Warner – 3B Perea – CF Phelps – P Ryba
POR: SS Duhe – 1B Fumero – CF Otal – 3B Gallo – LF Early – C Flowe – 2B Leggett – RF Matas – P Vin. Morales

While Koji Hatakeyama reached on an infield single to begin the game, he also got himself caught stealing to clean up the bases in the first inning. Bottom 1st, and the Raccoons got Duhe on with a walk, and Fumero reached when Juan Perea dropped his pop behind third base. A Gallo single with one out loaded the bases, but both Marquise Early and Jake Flowe whiffed, and once more nobody scored. Leggett’s leadoff walk in the second also led nowhere, while Hatakeyama reached base again in the third inning. This time he stole second – already his 24th theft of the season, on pace for some 90 bags – and was thrown out trying to make it 25 with third base.

The Coons’ next two base runners was Benito Otal, who got nicked in the third inning, and then hit a leadoff single in the bottom 6th of a scoreless affair, which marked a rousing second base hit for the Portland Pathetics. Ryba struck out Gallo and Early, running his K total to nine in this game, but Flowe reached on a sorry infield roller for a single. Leggett, however, struck out, ending the inning. Morales held out on the hill, and the Raccoons got the leadoff man on base again in the bottom 7th, when Carlos Matas surprisingly singled. He was bunted on by Morales, and then SCORED on a Duhe double to left, the first run on the board. The Aces walked Fumero intentionally to get Ben Caldwell, lefty, to face Otal, but Otal singled to load the bases with one gone. Right-hander Leo Garcia replaced Caldwell, nicked J.P. Gallo with his first pitch to force in a run, then rung up Early and got a groundout from Flowe.

With a bigger lead, Vinny Morales would have continued to go for a shutout, but as things were, and with Matas hitting a 1-out double in the bottom 8th, he was hit for. We had a closer sitting out there who had done nothing but to pick his nose for four days in the wilderness after all. Corral grounded out and the extra run remained on base (…), and so Pedro Valentin got a 2-0 lead to work with in the ninth. The Aces disappeared in order against him. 2-0 Blighters. Otal 2-3; Matas 2-4, 2B; Morales 8.0 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 5 K, W (4-3);

Six runs in five games this week.

Marquise Early (.149, 0 HR, 3 RBI) punched himself a golden sombrero on Friday and then ended up on waivers on Saturday. In despair, the Raccoons brought up 2066’s #5 pick, Jack Hamel, who was only hitting .250 with two homers in AAA, but…

Game 2
LVA: 1B A. Alfaro – RF Caceres – LF A. Rosado – 3B Vic. Morales – 2B Rodewald – SS Perea – C B. Duncan – CF Phelps – P T. Henderson
POR: SS Duhe – 1B Fumero – CF Otal – 3B Gallo – LF Hamel – RF Corral – C Marquez – 2B Leggett – P Childress

Jack Hamel struck out his first time at-bat, and by the fourth inning had a run-scoring error on his ledger as well, dropping a fly ball by Jorge Caceres to allow Byron Duncan to score. It was not a game-breaking error – Childress had already given up solo jacks to Alfredo Rosado in the first and Matt Rodewald to begin the fourth, and then Juan Perea had singled, stolen second, and been singled home by Duncan, who advanced on a wild pitch and Henderson’s single before scoring on the error after Alex Alfaro struck out, so the score was now 4-0. A pair of 2-out hits by Marquez and Leggett had put Critters in scoring position in the bottom 2nd, but Childress had struck out. Hamel drew a walk in the bottom 4th before 2-out singles by Marquez and Leggett filled the bases – but only for Childress, who grounded out and left everybody stranded again.

The Aces lost Tim Henderson to injury after 4.1 shutout innings and proceeded with lefty Gabe Molina, who allowed hits to Otal and Gallo, then walked the debutant with two outs to fill the bases again, now for Corral – who was batting .216 and hit for with van Otterdijk … who grounded out to Perea on the first pitch he saw.

Leggett hit another ignored single in the sixth, with Tony Spink batting for Childress for nothing. John Reynolds made his ABL debut in the seventh, allowing a double to Alfaro before whiffing Caceres. Rosado grounded out, and then Nava took over against ex-Coon Vic Morales, giving up an RBI double of course, 5-0. Rodewald struck out. Hamel punched another strikeout for himself before being removed in a double switch in the top 8th when McMahan entered with Matas. The Raccoons failed to plate van Otterdijk after his leadoff double to center in the bottom 8th, which was also the point where I finished a bottle of Capt’n Coma and straightaway opened the next one, since the pain was endless, too.

Bottom 9th, then, and the pretense of a chance when Leo Garcia walked Duhe and Fumero to begin the inning. Otal and Gallo hit into a pair of fielder’s choices at second base that got a run home, but literally nothing else, but Jake Flowe pinch-hit and singled in place of McMahan. Righty Chris Derrick replaced Garcia and popped out van Otterdijk on a single pitch to end the game. 5-1 Aces. Otal 3-5; Flowe (PH) 1-1; Marquez 2-4; Leggett 3-4, 2B;

Dire.

Game 3
LVA: SS Hatakeyama – RF Caceres – C Haynes – LF A. Rosado – 3B Vic. Morales – 1B A. Alfaro – 2B Perea – CF Phelps – P Cropp
POR: SS Duhe – 1B Fumero – CF Otal – 3B Gallo – LF Hamel – RF van Otterdijk – 2B Leggett – C Flowe – P Gaytan

Gaytan got on the snout really soon again, allowing back-to-back leadoff doubles to Rosado and Vic Morales in the second inning, and a 2-out RBI single to Josh Phelps for good measure. The Coons then got their first homer of the week when van Otterdijk popped one out to right in the bottom 2nd, 2-1, and then loaded the bases with Leggett, Gaytan, Duhe, and two outs. FOR ******* ONCE they scored, as Fumero singled through the left side to flip the score to 3-2, but Otal then grounded out, and Gaytan blew the lead in no time, allowing all the 3-4-5 batters on base with two down in the top 3rd, and Morales singled home Chris Haynes. Alfaro then lined out to Leggett to end the inning.

Jack Hamel had his first big league hit, a double to left, in the bottom 3rd. He was also thrown out at the plate for the first time, being denied by Rosado on a van Otterdijk single. Instead, two innings of Gaytan being *all over the ******* place* later, Fumero gave the Critters the lead for the second straight time, homering to left-center to begin the bottom 5th. TWO homers in ONE game??? WILL WONDERS EVER CEASE???

Gaytan was allowed to be a ******* mess into the seventh inning, still up 4-3, where he drilled #9 hitter Joe Hade ith one out, but struck out Hatakeyama before a move to have Aaron Warner bat for Jorge Caceres prompted a move to McMahan. Hade stole second base, but Warner grounded out to Fumero to end the inning. Rosado singled off Dover in the eighth inning, but the Aces hit three easy grounders otherwise and the lead persisted against all odds, while no tack-on runs came together for the Critters. Valentin thus faced the bottom of the order in the ninth, getting Roy Ben to pop out before Leggett threw away Phelps’ grounder to put the tying run on second base. Hade popped out in a full count, and Hatakeyama ran another full count before grounding out to short. 4-3 Critters. Fumero 2-3, BB, HR, 3 RBI; van Otterdijk 2-4, HR, RBI;

In other news

May 13 – WAS 3B Rick Healey (.265, 5 HR, 20 RBI) drives in eight runs in a 15-3 thrashing of the Cyclones, bashing two home runs, a single, and drawing two walks.
May 14 – The Miners acquire 2B Matthew Selep (.283, 2 HR, 13 RBI) from the Rebels in exchange for two prospects, including #116 SP Stewart Doubleday.
May 15 – The Titans beat the Crusaders, 4-3 in 15 innings.
May 16 – The Crusaders’ 3B/RF Eric Frasher (.304, 2 HR, 8 RBI) is out for the year after tearing the posterior cruciate ligament in his right knee.
May 16 – SFB CL Travis Davis (0-0, 2.08 ERA, 10 SV) is going to miss at least three months with a partially torn labrum.
May 16 – Bayhawks catcher Hugo Valdez (.230, 2 HR, 15 RBI) drives in six runs in a 14-8 shootout in against the Condors despite getting only one base hit, a 3-run homer. He also plates runs with a pair of groundouts and a sac fly.
May 18 – The Warriors beat the Capitals, 1-0 in ten innings, on 2B/3B Jimmy Madden’s (.232, 2 HR, 9 RBI) walkoff single. SFW SP Steve Hunter (1-1, 1.35 ERA) goes 9.2 innings of 6-hit ball, but gets a no-decision.
May 19 – CHA SP Carlos Gomez (5-1, 4.24 ERA) throws a 5-hit shutout in an 18-0 rout of the Canadiens. CHA C/1B Oscar Matos (.302, 10 HR, 34 RBI) socks three home runs and drives in TEN runs, while 1B Tetsuharu Ishii (.286, 5 HR, 19 RBI) goes 5-for-6 with two homers and three RBI.

FL Player of the Week: NAS 1B Kris DiPrimio (.306, 3 HR, 18 RBI), batting .448 (13-29) with 2 HR, 7 RBI
CL Player of the Week: CHA C/1B Oscar Matos (.302, 10 HR, 34 RBI), raking .556 (10-18) with 3 HR, 12 RBI

Complaints and stuff

I ******* hate the ******* Elks.

Stebbins’ replacement will NOT be Jimmy Wharton, who just isn’t ready (and Centeno dropped dead already). The call is going to go to Victor Chavez, a $140k international free agent signing TEN years ago, and about to turn 26. Chavez had been living in St. Pete for the last three years, and there was no fanfare about his lackluster stuff with just two-and-a-half pitches.

We scored all of 11 runs in seven games this week. We’re so ******* dead.

We will be on the road next week with three games each in Charlotte (who hit themselves warm against the ******* Elks) and against the Baybirds. And nothing good has ever happened at the Bay.

Fun Fact: Sunday’s 18-0 win by the Falcons against the Elks was the most-lopsided score of a 3-homer game in league history.

In fact, nobody has ever hit three home runs while his team scored MORE than 18 runs in the game.