[Westheim]

We got four to five inches of snow overnight, it keeps ******** it down, and it’s already chaos out there. It’s not like we’re Florida out here, but it’s already snowed more this winter than like the last five combined, and you can tell that nobody prepared for that thanks to the typical German “oh we’ll reach Moscow before winter hits” complacency. ANYWAY. I’m staying home today. And here’s some Critters.

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Roster expansion first and foremost brought back Steve Humphries after three-and-a-half months on the shelf. More sticks added included Dan Gomez and Willie Jalomo (and no excitement, so we now actually had FOUR catchers on the roster, even though two doubled to provide additional cover for corner infield spots. On the pitching side we added the usual trash back to the roster with Steve George (who had started on the weekend and would not be available for the Thunder series), Jason Holzmeister, and Antonio Pacheco. People wondered whether right-hander Noah Newhard would get his first call-up this September, and the answer was “not right now, maybe after the AAA season ends”. Newhard, the #27 pick from ’68 and the #50 prospect, had only reached St. Pete in July.

Raccoons (60-71) vs. Thunder (71-58) – September 1-3, 2070

Well over .500 and yet even weller beaten at 19 games out of first place in the South that had escalated quickly, the Thunder brought the #6 offense and #3 pitching in the league, and a +41 run differential. What they didn’t bring was a whole group of regulars including Danny Baca, Jose Palominos, and Coby Thore, plus a bunch of relivers, that were all on the DL. They had already taken the season series from the Coons, 5-1.

Projected matchups:
Tony Gaytan (8-12, 4.11 ERA) vs. Luis Ramirez (9-9, 4.20 ERA)
Vinny Morales (7-9, 3.44 ERA) vs. Ken Nielsen (11-8, 3.38 ERA)
Gabriel Rios (6-1, 2.63 ERA) vs. Alfredo Picun (9-9, 5.15 ERA)

The Thunder had two southpaw starters – and we’d see neither of them as Chris Hale (9-6, 3.01 ERA) and Jose Aguilar (8-4, 2.56 ERA) had pitched on Saturday and Sunday.

The Coons officially went to a 6-man rotation for the rest of the year, adding Val Centeno back into the starter pack. He was put into the spot behind Rios to split the left-handers Rios and Jimmyboy.

And after all that admin, the Monday opener was rained out and we got a double-header for Tuesday. Ace! The Thunder then chose to begin the series with Ken Nielsen.

Game 1
OCT: RF J. Reyes – 2B C. Gutierrez – 1B I. Stone – C Bohannon – LF B. Johnston – SS B. Robinson – 3B T. Santiago – CF Zambrano – P Nielsen
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF Corral – 3B Gallo – 1B Gomez – C Brown – P Gaytan

Gaytan retired the first seven Thunder before Eduardo Zambrano singled and stole second, but was ultimately stranded. By then the Coons had already scattered three singles without scoring. Gaytan struck out himself with Gallo in scoring position in the second inning, and in the fourth we got Big Wharton and Gallo to the corners before Dan Gomez smacked into a double play. Gaytan allowed two hits through five innings, then hit a double himself with one out in the bottom 5th. Nielsen walked Humph and threw a wild pitch, and Yocum then plated both runners with a single to center. Nielsen somehow completely lost it, walked the bags full with Katz and Wharton, couldn’t field Corral’s roller that scored a run as an infield single, and conceded another run on a Gallo groundout before he was yanked, down 4-0. Gomez flew out against Jason Stine to end the inning.

The Thunder wasted a single each in the next two innings, but got Zambrano on with a leadoff single in the eighth. He got to second on a groundout, and then went for home when Jon Reyes singled to center, but Wharton got another outfield assist in throwing out the runner at the plate. Gaytan batted for himself in the bottom of the inning, and then returned for the ninth despite 107 pitches on the clock. He allowed another single to Stone in the ninth, but retired three others to put the game away and finally post that shutout that the Raccoons were failing to get all the way over the hump for all of last week. 4-0 Critters! Corral 3-4, RBI; Gaytan 9.0 IP, 6 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 7 K, W (9-12) and 1-4, 2B;

Gaytan threw his third career shutout on 129 pitches, but if there’s a pitcher on the staff that can do that, it’s him with his 20 stamina rating.

Humph went hitless and wasn’t asked to play two games in a day right away. Him, Wharton, and Corral all had the second game off. In fact, only Katz and Yocum started both games.

Game 2
OCT: RF J. Reyes – 2B C. Gutierrez – 1B I. Stone – LF B. Johnston – SS B. Robinson – 3B T. Santiago – C Jack – CF Zambrano – P L. Ramirez
POR: 2B Yocum – CF Otal – 3B Katzman – LF van Otterdijk – C Flowe – SS Mireles – 1B Murcia – RF Colter – P Morales

The Thunder got on the board in the first inning against Vinny Morales, as Reyes singled, stole his 37th base, and then scored on an Ian Stone double down the rightfield line. Zambrano tacked on a run with a solo homer in the second, and Stone homered in the third before Bryan Johnston and Brian Robinson whacked a pair of doubles to run the score to 4-0, but Robinson was left on base. Morales had NOTHING and was yanked after 3.1 innings and after giving up another run on hits by Reyes and Gutierrez in the fourth. Pacheco, the useless ragdoll, then gave up another homer to Stone, his 27th on the year. Edgar Gutierrez finally shut up the Thunder bats after seven runs in four innings, pitching two goose eggs onto the board in the fifth and sixth. The Raccoons had three singles through five innings, so there wasn’t a whole lot to say about an exciting rally going on. Sullivan pitched a scoreless innings, while Holzmeister got two outs in the eighth before McMahan replaced him with the bases loaded to strike out Grant Anker to get out of the inning – it wasn’t Holzmeister’s fault entirely though, since the inning would have been over if Zambrano hadn’t begun the inning by reaching on a third strike not caught by Flowe, allowing Zambrano to reach first base. Flowe was then double-switched out for Willie Jalomo when McMahan entered.

Ramirez kept the Coons shut out into the bottom 8th, but then gave up a stray homer to Jamie Colter. Bottom 9th, and Katz led off with a single before Humph batted for the Otter and reached on Tony Santiago’s error. Big Wharton batted for McMahan, but hit into a fielder’s choice at second. Mireles hit an RBI single off Jon McGinley, but a double play crashed into by Corral ended the game. 7-2 Thunder. Katzman 2-4; Colter 2-3, HR, RBI; Gutierrez 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K;

Game 3
OCT: RF J. Reyes – 1B Bonner – C Bohannon – LF B. Johnston – 3B T. Santiago – 2B C. Gutierrez – SS Yin – CF Zambrano – P Picun
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF Corral – C Flowe – 3B Murcia – 1B Colter – P Rios

Humph and Katz were on base in the first inning, but Wharton grounded out and Corral lined out to Ryan Bonner to keep them in scoring position. Fortunes improved in the following frame though, when Rafael Murcia and Jamie Colter hit a pair of 1-out singles to take to the corners, Picun plated Murcia with a wild pitch and Humph doubled home the rest with two outs. He was left by Yocum, then. The Thunder had neither hits nor strikeouts against Rios the first time through, so things could still go either way there. It went the way of the scoreboard in the fourth then as Martin Bohannon hit a double to right and Santiago landed an RBI single in left to get a run on the board before both Gutierrez and Wu-ti Yin flew out to Corral to keep Santiago stranded.

Colter narrowly missed another homer ending the bottom 4th, but the Coons didn’t have to wait much longer as Gabriel Rios socked a leadoff jack to right off Picun in the bottom 5th, extending the lead to 3-1 again! Humph then walked and was caught stealing, while Katz singled with two outs and stole second, but Wharton walked and Corral whiffed to strand them both. Teams then mostly made outs for the next two innings before the Thunder knocked out Rios with three singles in the eighth inning as Reyes, Bonner, and Johnston all landed hits. Reyes scored, and the tying and go-ahead runs were on the corners with two down for Nava to come in to face Santiago. The Thunder *obviously* moved to bring Ian Stone off the bench, but Nava prevailed with a swinging strikeout in a full count. The Coons stranded an unearned pair of their own in the bottom 8th as van Otterdijk reached in place of Corral on Jon McGinley’s own error; and then McGinley also walked Murcia, but the pinch-hitting Mireles grounded out to end the inning. Valentin retired the Thunder in order to take the series, though. 3-2 Coons. Humphries 1-2, 2 BB, 2B, RBI; Katzman 2-4; Rios 7.2 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 2 BB, 6 K, W (7-1) and 1-3, HR, RBI;

Rios said after the game in an interview that he didn’t know how to feel about his first career home run, since he was used to hating home runs. Can’t wait for the Agitator to spin that into a whole thing.

Raccoons (62-72) vs. Titans (64-68) – September 4-7, 2070

The Titans were closer to first place than the Thunder, despite being under .500. They also led the season series against the Coons, 6-5, and were hitting the second-most homers while barely outpacing Adam Yocum for stolen bases as a team. They had the worst D, but one of the best pen. Fascinating misfit team! Overall they were fifth in runs scored and ninth in runs allowed, with a -5 run differential (Coons: -28). Pitcher Aiden Shaw was the only player on the DL (but the Coons’ DL was now empty).

Projected matchups:
Val Centeno (2-3, 5.29 ERA) vs. Bryce Wallace (3-12, 4.04 ERA)
Jimmy Wharton (9-8, 3.95 ERA) vs. Matt Nelson (7-9, 4.95 ERA)
Nick Walla (8-10, 4.02 ERA) vs. Mike Bell (14-5, 3.18 ERA)
Tony Gaytan (9-12, 3.90 ERA) vs. Adam McDonald (10-10, 4.10 ERA)

The Titans had a left-hander, Jesse Cruise (3-6, 4.87 ERA), and we’d apparently dance our way around him, too.

Game 1
BOS: SS E. Gonzales – CF Marcotte – C D. Johnson – RF M. Garcia – 2B Jer. White – 3B D. Miller – LF McInnis – 1B Starwalt – P B. Wallace
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – C Flowe – RF van Otterdijk – 3B Gallo – 1B D. Gomez – P Centeno

Val Centeno had a scoreless first, gave up a solo homer to Manuel Garcia leading off the second before putting two more runners on base in the inning, and then was ****** into oblivion in a 6-run third inning that he didn’t even finish where every Titan and their mother reached base. Garcia doubled in two more and then they kept just singling away. Victor Ramirez replaced him and got his former teammate Eddie Marcotte out on a single pitch and a fly out to right before the Coons’ 7-8 batters walked to begin the bottom 3rd and Ramirez bunted into a 5-U force play and Humph crashed into a double play, at which point the game was more or less over. Jake Flowe still hit into another double play in the fourth to get the ******* point home.

Holzmeister pitched a scoreless inning before Otal singled in his place in the bottom 5th, which loaded the bases along with van Otterdijk and Gallo on, and one out. Humph hit into another double play to resolve the issue. Steve George pitched two innings and gave up another run in the seventh on three hits, as if that mattered anymore. The Coons contained themselves and stayed off base the next two frames before loading the bags through some pinch-hitting against Kyle Houck in the eighth and presenting Katz with Colter, Corral, and Yocum all aboard and one out. Yes, yes he did. He hit into the fourth ******* double play in the game, 5-4-3. Pacheco then got the ball for the ninth, walked Danny Miller on four pitches, and left with a physical complaint. Valentin replaced him, struck out a pair, then allowed a single to Sergio Leon and a 2-run triple to Edgar Gonzales to make the tenner full. Dan Geiger struck out to end the inning. The Coons staved off the shutout when Tyler Wharton hit a leadoff double in the bottom 9th and scored on Gallo’s 2-out single against Mike Rocheford. Willie Jalomo hit another single, but the game then ended with Colter. 10-1 Titans. Yocum 2-4; T. Wharton 2-4, 2B; Gallo 2-3, BB, RBI; Jalomo (PH) 1-1; Otal (PH) 1-1; Colter (PH) 1-2;

Arf.

Game 2
BOS: SS E. Gonzales – CF Marcotte – 1B Goodwin – RF M. Garcia – 3B D. Miller – C D. Johnson – 2B Jer. White – LF S. Leon – P M. Nelson
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF Corral – 3B Murcia – 1B Colter – C Jalomo – P J. Wharton

The Titans came up with a no-lefty-sticks lineup for Jimmyboy, who retired them in order in the first two innings, but stumbled over the 7-8 batters White and Leon, who singled to begin the third, and the Titans got a run home on Nelson’s bunt and two groundouts. Katz had already hit into a double play in the first inning, while Colter doubled and Jalomo singled to begin the bottom 3rd, taking to the corners. The Titans expected a bunt, but Jimmyboy swung away and tied the game with an RBI double to left, and a pair was in scoring position with nobody out, so of course Humph and Yocum popped out and Katz grounded out… (polishes blunderbuss)

Forsaken Jimmy got two more zeroes on the board while Murcia hit into a double play in the fourth, then hit another double with two outs and nobody on in the bottom 5th. This time he actually scored on Humphries’ double into the leftfield corners and took a 2-1 lead for himself. Yocum left Humph stranded, however, and after the Coons scattered two singles in the sixth, Curt Goodwin tied the game with a leadoff jack in the seventh. Manuel Garcia walked, Danny Miller singled, the Coons sent Danny Nava, who allowed another single to David Johnson to load the bases with nobody out, but then got White to pop out and rung up Leon, and then faced only the pitcher. (flicks a smile for a one-thousandth of a second)

Down 4-2 after Matt Nelson’s inevitable 2-out, 2-run single, the Raccoons saw Gallo on base by drawing a walk in the #9 spot in the bottom 7th, and then Humphries hit into a double play. Katz reached on an error in the eighth and was forced out by Wharton, who was stranded when Corral grounded out to second. Murcia, Mireles, and van Otterdijk then went down in order against lefty Tyler Gleason in the ninth. 4-2 Titans. J. Wharton 6.0 IP, 4 H, 4 R, 4 ER, 1 BB, 4 K, L (9-9) and 2-2, 2 2B, RBI;

This team.

Antonio Pacheco (1-0, 9.58 ERA) would no longer take part in the disasterclass on display here, as he hit the DL with an inflamed rotator cuff and was done for the year. The Coons reached even deeper between the couch cushions and replaced him with another southpaw, Gabe Gomez, a 24-year-old Dominican that the cat (scout) had dragged in eight years ago on a fishing trip to the Dom. Rep., and who had since made a living mostly in Ham Lake for almost four years. He had made 22 appearances (two starts) in AAA this year for a 3.38 ERA, but was walking as many as he was striking out. John Reynolds was struck off the 40-man roster to make room.

Game 3
BOS: LF McInnis – CF Marcotte – C D. Johnson – RF M. Garcia – 2B Jer. White – 3B D. Miller – SS Robichaud – 1B Starwalt – P M. Bell
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF Corral – 1B Murcia – 3B Gallo – C Brown – P Walla

Nick Walla gave up Marcotte’s 22nd homer of the year to fall behind 1-0 in the first, so no shutout this time around, either; but Walla struck out Marcotte the next time ‘round to end the top 3rd, after which Sam Brown walked and was forced out on Walla’s bad bunt. Humphries doubled, but Walla had to hold at third base – but he got home on Yocum’s groundout to tie the game. Humph was left on third base when Katz grounded out. A scoreless fourth got Walla’s ERA into the 3’s again, and he kept holding the Titans to two hits through six innings before Katz gave him a lead after all with a solo homer to left in the bottom 6th. Back-to-back power by Wharton made it 3-1, but Walla stumbled in the seventh, nearly gave up a homer to Garcia, the fly being caught at the fence by Corral, and then Jeremy White drew a walk and ended the inning being thrown out by Wharton at third base on a Jared Robichaud single.

Walla left the game after just 80 pitches when Morgan Jones and Matt McInnis hit a pair of 1-out singles off him in the eighth inning and the power department came back to the plate. Nava came in, rung up Marcotte, and ran a full count on Johnson before the backstop popped out to Corral in shallow right. Valentin then put the game away without much drama in the ninth inning. 3-1 Critters. Corral 2-4; Walla 7.1 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 5 K, W (9-10);

Walla’s ERA reached 3.90 by the time of his removal. If not for the Marcotte homer to start with we might have been tempted to have him stay in the game and try for another shutout and give up a 3-run homer to Marcotte instead.

…and then it was Southpaw Sunday after all as the Titans changed assignments and sent Jesse Cruise (3-6, 4.87 ERA) for the series finale after all!

Game 4
BOS: SS E. Gonzales – CF Marcotte – RF M. Garcia – 3B D. Miller – LF McInnis – C Ferenczy – 2B Robichaud – 1B Starwalt – P Cruise
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – 3B Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF van Otterdijk – SS Mireles – 1B Murcia – C Spink – P Gaytan

Gaytan also got the first-inning solo homer treatment from Marcotte, but struck out four in the first three innings otherwise, while the Coons brought up the minimum with their vaunted all-righty top of the order against the mediocre southpaw on the hill for Boston. Wharton walked, but was immediately doubled up by the Otter. Boston’s 2-3-4 then hit three long fly balls in the fourth inning, all of which were somehow caught on or at the warning track, one in left and two in center. While Cruise continued to no-hit the Coons, Gaytan allowed a leadoff single to McInnis in the fifth, then drilled fourth-string Boston catcher Rick Ferenczy out of the game; Matt Goatley replaced him. Robichaud’s fielder’s choice grounder and Danny Starwalt’s 6-4-3 roller to short killed the inning for Boston, though. Wharton drew another leadoff walk in the bottom 5th and this time was simply stranded.

Gaytan was behind everybody by the sixth inning, so that was nice, but whacked a double in the bottom 6th to take the no-hitter off the board. Whee? He only got one more out, walking Miller and giving up a hit to McInnis to begin the seventh. Goatley grounded out, but Robichaud this time drove in two with a single. Gutierrez replaced him and struck out the 8-9 batters to get out of the inning.

Bottom 7th, and a leadoff walk for Katz this time. Wharton reached on an error, van Otterdijk flew out to left, and then Mireles hit a scratch single, loading the bags with the tying runs. Murcia absolutely crashed into a 5-4-3 double play and this inning died a pointless death as well. Marcotte doubled and Garcia hit an RBI single to get a run off Ramirez in the eighth, while Tony Spink’s leadoff single got wrapped up in another 5-4-3 when Gallo pinch-hit for Ramirez in the eighth. The unspeakably ***** bunch of *********** then scored a run after all when Humphries singled, stole second, and scored on a Yocum single, but the inning ended with Katz. Gabe Gomez then made his ABL debut in the ninth and got the 5-6-7 in order, striking out Goatley and Robichaud. Gleason then put the lid on the pot. 4-1 Titans.

*********.

In other news

September 1 – The Indians beat the Falcons in a rain-shortened, seven-inning, 5-2 game.
September 2 – A walkoff balk by PIT MR Jorge Sanchez (1-6, 4.12 ERA, 3 SV) gives the Pacifics a 2-1 win.
September 3 – SFW SP/MR Ed Caulk (11-5, 4.06 ERA, 7 SV) has a whole tire and wheel fall onto his foot while changing the tires on his truck and will miss two weeks with a foot contusion.
September 3 – Five Loggers players hit home runs in a 12-1 rout of the Knights.
September 3 – The Gold Sox take ten innings to beat the Buffaloes in a 1-0 walkoff, the game-ending single coming from DEN OF/1B Steve Killelea (.349, 1 HR, 40 RBI).
September 4 – The Knights fire off a 7-run rally in the ninth inning to send a game in Tijuana to extra innings, only to lose, 9-7, on a 2-run walkoff home run by INF Corey Vazquez (.319, 9 HR, 29 RBI).
September 5 – Knights rookie OF David Mendoza (.283, 21 HR, 84 RBI) is done for the season after suffering a concussion.
September 6 – Season over also for Wolves 1B Jeremy McDermott (.286, 24 HR, 87 RBI) thanks to a sprained ankle.
September 7 – Rebs C Ramon Lopez (.271, 5 HR, 53 RBI) pumps out five hits and drives in six runs in a 17-7 football score win against the Capitals. The output includes a double and a grand slam off Washington’s Khalil Cowan (1-0, 5.23 ERA).

Player of the Week (FL): SAC RF/CF Aaron Warner (.286, 2 HR, 28 RBI), clipping .500 (10-20) with 2 HR, 4 RBI
Player of the Week (CL): LVA 3B/2B/RF Matt Rodewald (.248, 14 HR, 60 RBI), socking .400 (6-15) with 4 HR, 10 RBI

Complaints and stuff

Look, the Portland Double Plays are back. They hit into FOURTEEN double plays this week, paradoxically led by Humphries, who fell face-first into three of them. Katz, Otter, and Murcia each had two double plays, and Corral, Gallo, Flowe, Brown, and Gomez also felt the need to chip some in. Disgusting.

Humphries batted 3-for-18 (all doubles, somehow) and drew six walks in his first week back on the roster. He scored TWICE. This team. This bloody team.

We keep the 6-man rotation from here, because nobody on this team is going for awards or milestones anyway. Although, if Centeno delivers another start like that against the damn Elks, he might as well be sent back to Ciudad Guayana.

The team will hit Elk City from Monday to Wednesday. Off day on Thursday, and then three at home with the Crusaders. Since we have a day off every week now, and thus six games a week with six starters, until the merciful conclusion of the season all the weekends will now be Jimmyday, Walladay, and Gayday.

What’s there to snicker, Cristiano?

Fun Fact: Ciudad Guayana is not in Guayana.

That’s about as much gaiety as I can muster at this point of the season.