[Westheim]

Originally Posted by DD Martin

I think this group finally gives you and the Agitator something to enjoy.

I think you have yet to name somebody who is known to enjoy *anything*...

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Raccoons (0-0) vs. Indians (0-0) – April 7-9, 2071

The Raccoons had not seen much land against the Indians in 2070, losing 12 of the 18 games played, although overall the head-to-head battle had see-sawed quite a bit in the last few years. Both teams had endured a rather feckless offseason and neither expected to be much better in the new season.

Projected matchups:
Nick Walla (0-0) vs. Mike DeWitt (0-0)
Tony Gaytan (0-0) vs. Victor Perez (0-0)
Gabriel Rios (0-0) vs. Jorge Flores (0-0)

The Raccoons drew a southpaw on Opening Day, but it looked like DeWitt would be the only left-hander for the first week’s worth of games.

Game 1
IND: CF Hilario – LF W. Griffith – RF T. Torres – 1B M. Rogers – 3B Ma. Martin – SS Valadez – C A. Morris – 2B Richmond – P DeWitt
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – 1B Olivares – RF van Otterdijk – 3B Hernandez – C Rivas – P Walla

The Indians battery was not in sync to begin the season as Humph opened the Coons’ surely futile efforts with a single and twice advanced on a wild pitch or passed ball before DeWitt walked the bags full with Katz and Tyler Wharton behind him. New man Alejandro Olivares then lined out to short and van Otterdijk rolled over to Matt Martin to ensure that no runs would be scored with the bases loaded for the 95th consecutive ******* season. Consistently applying to mantra of maximum annoyance, Gabe Rivas (single) and Humph (walk) were also stranded in the second inning.

Scoring on the new season was formally opened in the bottom 3rd with a leadoff home run by Katz, giving Walla a 1-0 lead. The right-hander had allowed only one single to Fernando Valadez the first time through the order, and remained spotless through four, whiffing as many Indians. Walla then hit a single to go to the corners with Jordan Hernandez, the third new player in that starting lineup, with one out in the bottom 4th, but was stranded with a K on Humphries and Yocum’s fly out. Doubles by Andy Morris and PH Guillermo Lujan tied up the game in the fifth inning, but that was a disturbingly early departure for DeWitt, who only pitched four innings before being sacrificed.

Walla eventually pitched seven innings with as many strikeouts against five base hits in this Opening Day assignment, which earned him another one of those no-decisions, since the Raccoons were unable to get a paw up on the Indy pen. Yocum hit a single in the bottom 7th, but was doubled up by Katz to end the inning. The eighth was then the Coons debut of Brad Fales, who got an out before Wade Griffith doubled off him, and then McMahan cleaned up behind him without letting that go-ahead run across. Jaden Wilson made his return to Portland as an unsuccessful pinch-hitter in the eighth inning, and Nick Luebbert, one of the Rule 5 picks on the roster, entered the game as defensive replacement for Jordan Hernandez afterwards, while the other Rule 5 position player, Josh Woodley, batted for Pedro Valentin after his 1-2-3 ninth inning. On the first pitch he ever saw by a major leaguer (Ryan Croft), he bashed a walkoff blast out of the ******* ballpark…!! 2-1 Furballs!! Olivares 2-3, BB; Woodley (PH) 1-1, HR, RBI; Walla 7.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 7 K and 1-2;

(giggles all the way to bed)

Game 2
IND: CF Hilario – LF W. Griffith – RF T. Torres – 1B M. Rogers – 3B Ma. Martin – SS Valadez – C A. Morris – 2B Richmond – P V. Perez
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF Wilson – 1B Olivares – C Rivas – 3B Hernandez – P Gaytan

Between the first five batters he saw in 2071, Tony Gaytan gave up two long fly outs and singles to Jose Hilario, Matt Rogers, and Matt Martin, and also a run in the first inning on that last knock, prompting an early appearance by our new pitching coach, after which he struck out Valadez to end the inning. Andy Morris and Walter Richmond whacked doubles to begin the second to add a run, but Richmond was then thrown out at third base on a bad bunt by Perez, which shortened the inning. While Gaytan also failed the bases full with another infield single, walk, and hit batter, but didn’t allow a run in the third inning, the Coons produced *nothing* out of the goodness of their own hearts that first time through the lineup, got not one, but two batters (Wharton, Gaytan) on base by Indians errors, and doubled off half of those like complete idiots. Gaytan gave up a single to Perez and a homer to Hilario in the fourth before an early departure for being absolutely useless. Equally useless Jason Holzmeister gave up a solo homer to Andy Morris in the fifth, at which point we were down by a pawful.

While Edgar Gutierrez pitched two innings in the sixth and seventh, and the Raccoons scored an almost incidental 2-out run in the sixth when Katz doubled and Wharton singled him in, Tuesday’s hero Josh Woodley then batted fwith Olivares and Rivas on base in the bottom 7th, and hit into an inning-ending double play. Yocum hit into another double play in the eighth to erase a leadoff single by Humph. In between the Indians had tacked on a run with a leadoff triple by Walter Richmond off Dan Graham, and a sac fly.

Bottom 9th, and Rodolfo Zea put three batters on base with a string of singles, as Wharton, Olivares, and Rivas all got on base. Croft, Tuesday’s loser, replaced Zea, and gave up a sac fly to Jordan Hernandez, but that at least reduced the Coons to their last out. Van Otterdijk flew out to left to end the game. 6-2 Indians. T. Wharton 3-4, RBI; Olivares 2-4; Rivas 2-4; Gutierrez 2.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 1 K;

Game 3
IND: SS Valadez – LF W. Griffith – CF Hilario – 1B M. Rogers – 3B Ma. Martin – RF T. Torres – C A. Morris – 2B Richmond – P Jo. Flores
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF Wilson – 1B Olivares – C Brown – 3B Luebbert – P Rios

The Coons went up 1-0 in the first inning with a Yocum triple into the corner, after which Katz walked and Wharton scored the lead runner with a groundout. Katz was then left on base. Rios then tripled into the rightfield corner in the second inning, but with nobody on, nor with Humph caring, and then blew the lead miserably in the third. After retiring six in a row to begin the game and his season, Rios saw Morris get on with an infield single, although he got him out on a terrible bunt knocked back right at him by Flores. However, Valadez hit a 2-out single, and consecutive walks to Wade Griffith and Jose Hilario forced in the tying run before Matt Rogers grounded out to second.

Yocum led off the bottom 3rd with a single and was caught stealing. Olivares led the fourth off with another single, and Valadez fudged Sam Brown’s double play grounder for an error, giving the Coons two runners with nobody out. Luebbert hit into a fielder’s choice, Rios fanned, and Humph grounded out to short to still not get a ******* run across.

The grisly end for Rios came in the sixth when Griffith, Rogers, and Martin piled onto the bases with singles, and then piled back into the dugout on Tony Torres’ bases-clearing double in the right-center gap. Todd Sullivan replaced him, gave up the first career homer of Walter Richmond, and then Coons were down by five. Flores then for reasons best known to him allowed hits to Brown and Luebbert in the bottom of the sixth, and then was taken deep for a 3-run homer by George van Otterdijk in the pitcher’s spot, 6-4. Fales, McMahan, and Holzmeister then held the game tight, although each of them allowed a fly out to the warning track and none of them looked particularly convincing, but it remained a 2-run game into the bottom of the ninth, for which the Coons brought up the top of the order against Justin Esch. Humph whiffed, but a Yocum single put the tying run in the box. Katz fell to 1-2 before slinging a double to left-center. Yocum was stopped at third base before Hilario could do something funny at the plate, and Wharton batted with the tying runs in scoring position… and popped out in foul ground like ****. Wilson popped out to short, and that was the ballgame. 6-4 Indians. Yocum 3-5, 3B; van Otterdijk (PH) 1-1, HR, 3 RBI;

Sigh.

Raccoons (1-2) vs. Falcons (2-2) – April 10-12, 2071

Charlotte had split four games with San Francisco to begin the season. They had scored 13 runs dong so and allowed as many. So far no injuries and nothing to cry about in North Carolina, but they’d surely find a way to get there. Last year’s season series had gone to Portland, 5-4.

Projected matchups:
Vinny Morales (0-0) vs. Dan Speake (0-0)
Jimmy Wharton (0-0) vs. Edgar Mauricio (1-0, 0.00 ERA)
Nick Walla (0-0, 1.29 ERA) vs. Gary Peoples (0-0, 6.75 ERA)

No southpaw coming up here.

Game 1
CHA: CF L. Collins – 3B A. Rodriguez – RF Terrell – C O. Matos – SS Tr. Taylor – 1B Huffman – 2B Madden – LF Bakker – P Speake
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – RF Wilson – 1B Olivares – C Rivas – 3B Hernandez – P Morales

Morales struck out the side around an infield single by Alex Rodriguez in the first inning and got two outs in the second before allowing another single to Jimmy Madden. He went on to walk Matt Bakkr, bringing up the pitcher Speake, who spoke with a slap to center and an RBI single for the game’s first run, and Landon Collins bonked a homer for another three. Great. Alejandro Olivares answered with a solo homer in the bottom 2nd, which didn’t make the biggest dent in the deficit, but the Raccoons kept picking away. Rivas singled, Hernandez popped out, and Morales also hit a single with two outs. Humph singled to load the bases, Yocum singled to center to get a run home, and Katz singled to center to tie the game at four. And then all $9M’s worth of Tyler Wharton flew out to Collins to end the inning.

Morales right away fell behind again when Kevin Huffman doubled home Trent Taylor in the third inning, and was then hit for in the bottom 3rd after Olivares, Rivas, and Hernandez had loaded the bases with one out. Van Otterdijk hit a game-tying single to center, 5-all, and Humphries hit a grounder to short that should have ended the inning, but the Gold Glover Taylor flubbed the throw to second and the Falcons got nobody, while the Coons got the go-ahead run home. Yocum looped an RBI single in between Madden and Brady Terrell, 7-5, and that was the end of Speake for the day. David Gooding got a double play grounder from Katzman to end the inning. Bottom 4th, and Gooding hit Jaden Wilson and allowed a single to Olivares. Gabe Rivas hit a double into the left-center gap to bring both of those runners home, and it was 9-5. Hernandez’ double to left got the Coons into double digits, but Taylor singled and Huffman homered off Dan Graham in the fifth inning to get the rapidly escalating score to 10-7.

Graham pitched three innings and gave up three runs, the third coming on another home run by Alex Rodriguez in the sixth. The Coons appeared to have gone back to sleep, hoping to get the 2-run lead to the finish line. Sullivan pitched a scoreless seventh, and Yocum singled off Brent Junker and stole second base to begin the bottom 7th. Katz’ soft single put them on the corners, but Wharton’s poor grounder only advanced Katz, but not Yocum. Junker walked Wilson to fill the bases, then Olivares to push Yocum’s run home. Rivas raked another double into another gap, this time in right-center and brought in two more runs. Lefty Ryan Lewis replaced junked Junker, got a grounder from Hernandez that Madden fumbled for another error, and a run would have scored on the play regardless. The inning fizzled out after that, and then Sullivan got another out and McMahan got two more in the eighth. Lewis then walked Yocum and gave up a 2-run homer to Katzman, and then walked Colter and Wilson. Rivas singled to load the bases once again, and Hernandez doubled home two runs. With Lewis reduced to ashes as well, Freddie DeWitt came in to try and end the bloody game, and got groundouts from Brown and Humphries to get out of the inning. Gutierrez put the lid on the game. 18-8 Furballs!! Yocum 3-5, BB, 2 RBI; Katzman 4-5, BB, HR, 4 RBI; Olivares 3-4, BB, HR, 2 RBI; Rivas 4-5, 2 2B, 4 RBI; Hernandez 3-6, 2 2B, 4 RBI; van Otterdijk (PH) 1-1, RBI;

Should I complain that they scored all their runs for next week already, or should I point out that Tyler Wharton went 0-for-5?

Anyway, Maud will give me the looks. Oh, there, she’s already doing it.

With this riotous performance, the Raccoons took first place in runs scored in the CL, which would surely last long.

Game 2
IND: CF L. Collins – 3B A. Rodriguez – SS Tr. Taylor – C O. Matos – RF Terrell – 2B Bazua – LF A. Villarreal – 1B Huffman – P E. Mauricio
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – 1B Olivares – C Rivas – RF Colter – 3B Hernandez – P J. Wharton

Jimmyboy walked two of his first three batters in his season debut, but then also struck out Matos and Terrell to escape his selfmade jam. Not that this meant that he would be any good overall. The Falcons whacked him for four hits and two runs, ending with Collins’ 2-out triple, and had Raul Bazua getting himself caught stealing to actually limit the damage. The Falcons put two more runners on base in the third inning, but didn’t score them.

At that point it looked like Jimmyboy was toast and the Raccoons would burn out their pen for the first time before getting to play on a Sunday. However – after the third inning, Jimmy was suddenly economical about the pitches – he had already thrown over 60 in the first three frames – and managed to tack on another 3.2 innings before being relieved after a 2-out walk to Collins in the seventh inning. At that point this promoted the tying run to the box, because the Raccoons had turned the game around on a pair of home runs by winter additions: Jordan Hernandez had poked a solo homer in the third inning, and Alejandro Olivares had huzzah-ed a 3-piece to flip the score in the sixth. He was then double-switched out for Woodley as Fales replaced Jimmy Wharton. The ploy faled, and a single by Rodriguez, a silly walk to Taylor, and Matos’ bases-clearing double to the base of the leftfield wall flipped the score back to the Falcons. Terrell then flew out to Humphries.

Woodley walked and Humphries singled, but both were left stranded in the seventh inning, and another pair was left on base in the eighth, as Wharton and Rivas singled, but nobody could get them home. The pen managed to hold the Falcons to their 1-run lead in the late innings, employing McMahan and Valentin after Falters was done faling, and then it was Woodley again to get the attention with a 1-out double to center in the bottom 9th off Orazio Cecere. However, Humphries and Yocum both flew out, and the Raccoons lost. 5-4 Falcons. T. Wharton 2-4; Woodley 1-1, BB, 2B;

There was no rest day coming until Thursday, so the Raccoons sat Tyler Wharton and Yocum on Sunday, and Katz, Humph, and Olivares were expected to rest on Monday.

Game 3
IND: CF L. Collins – 3B A. Rodriguez – RF Terrell – SS Tr. Taylor – 1B Huffman – 2B Bazua – C C. Mora – LF A. Campbell – P Peoples
POR: LF Humphries – RF van Otterdijk – SS Katzman – 1B Olivares – CF Wilson – 2B Hernandez – 3B Luebbert – C Brown – P Walla

Van Otterdijk went deep to left for a solo socking in the first inning to give Walla a quick lead. Walla blew that one with a leadoff double by ex-Elk Adam Campbell, who was maneuvered around with a bunt and sac fly in the third, but another solo homer by Humphries in the same inning made it a 2-1 lead again.

Walla from there put up six solid innings of 3-hit ball, then was chased by an hourlong rain delay that also flushed Gary Peoples down the drain. The Coons were still up 2-1 on just three hits as well when they put runners on the corners in the bottom 6th. Katz walked, was forced out by Olivares, and then Wilson singled and sent Olivares to third base. Hernandez grounded to second past a lunging Junker, who potentially confused Bazua, who misplayed the ball off his wrist and the error cost the Falcons one, maybe two outs. A run scored, and Wilson and Hernandez were now in scoring position … for two more pitches, and then Luebbert singled through the left side and got the runners home for his first two career RBI’s, but then was left on base.

Up 5-1, Holzmeister struck out the side in the seventh, before lefty John Robinson filled the bags with nobody out in the bottom of the inning, as Humphries doubled and then the Otter and Katz walked. Three bad outs were made … but not in order, as at least Jaden Wilson got a run home with a single. Olivares, Hernandez, and Luebbert, however, were out of sparkle for the day. Dan Graham then had another run beaten out of him in the eighth inning when Landon Collins kept bashing and doubled home Campbell, and Gutierrez gave up a homer to Huffman in the ninth, then walked Bazua, and was yanked for Valentin, who got the last two outs without any more drama. 6-3 Coons. Humphries 2-4, 2B, RBI; Katzman 0-1, 3 BB; Wilson 2-4, RBI; Walla 6.0 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 5 K, W (1-0);

Raccoons (3-3) vs. Aces (5-1) – April 13-15, 2071

The Aces were already in a groove, scoring 50% more runs than they gave up and being in the top 4 in both categories so far although the Raccoons were still tops in runs scored, somehow. They ha the most stolen bases but the worst pen in the league. The Aces had taken the last season series, 6-3.

Projected matchups:
Tony Gaytan (0-1, 9.00 ERA) vs. Tim Henderson (1-0, 1.29 ERA)
Gabriel Rios (0-1, 8.44 ERA) vs. Luis Ortiz (0-0, 6.00 ERA)
Vinny Morales (0-0, 15.00 ERA) vs. John Santamaria (1-0, 4.05 ERA)

Two right-handers, then a southpaw in the final game of the set. After that we’d also have a day off.

We decided to split the off days. Katz and Olivares were off on Monday; Humphries would sit on Tuesday.

Game 1
LVA: 2B J. Williams – 1B A. Jones – C Haynes – CF Phelps – SS Hatakeyama – 3B Rodewald – RF Harmsen – LF Takeuchi – P T. Henderson
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – RF van Otterdijk – CF T. Wharton – C Rivas – SS Hernandez – 1B Woodley – 3B Luebbert – P Gaytan

The weather was as much a problem as Gaytan going right down the middle for a good part of the early innings. It rained on and off, and somehow all the long fly balls stayed in the park and were caught by an outfielder. The Aces still had four hits and only two strikeouts against Gaytan after five wet innings, while the Coons had a single by the Otter and absolutely nothing else against Henderson. The rain got worse in the sixth and the game went to a rain delay. It remained there for the rest of the day and the game ended up suspended.

And that was our Monday.

Game 1 (resumed)
LVA: 2B J. Williams – 1B A. Jones – C Haynes – CF Phelps – SS Hatakeyama – 3B Rodewald – RF Harmsen – LF Takeuchi – P T. Henderson
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – RF van Otterdijk – CF T. Wharton – C Rivas – SS Hernandez – 1B Woodley – 3B Luebbert – P Holzmeister

Staggeringly, the Aces ran Henderson, who had thrown only 41 pitches on Monday, back out on Tuesday. While them abusing their pitcher was their problem, Holzmeister inherited an 0-1 count against Chris Haynes with two outs and nobody on base in the sixth inning of a scoreless game. Haynes whiffed, and Holzmeister did another inning before the ball went to Graham, who held the Aces away in the eighth. Adam Jones hit a leadoff single in the ninth inning, but Fales replaced Graham and removed the Aces in order from there. The Coons meanwhile STILL had the one Otter single.

Henderson pitched all the way into the NINTH inning, where Katz lined out in Luebbert’s space, but then walked Olivares and Humphries, the former of which was the winning run. Yocum then struck out against Roberto Navarro, who also had the Otter at 1-2, but van Otterdijk then poked the ball into play. The grounder went to second and Alex Corpus, and … he threw the ball away. The thing went into the dugout, and the Coons won by the rulebook as the ump sent Olivares home from second base. 1-0 Blighters. Gaytan 5.2 IP, 4 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K;

Well, that’s certainly *a* way to win a ballgame…

Game 2
LVA: 2B J. Williams – RF A. Jones – CF Phelps – SS Hatakeyama – 3B Rodewald – 1B McGrew – C Preston – RF Harmsen – P L. Ortiz
POR: RF Wilson – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – 1B Olivares – RF van Otterdijk – C Brown – 3B Hernandez – P Rios

The middle game began slow with no runs scored in the first three innings, but then the Aces broke out in the fourth, putting two runs on Rios in an inning that began with a single by Josh Phelps, and while Koji Hakateyama flew out, Matt Rodewald also singled. Luke McGrew again flew out, but Rios walked Steve Preston and when John Harmsen singled, two runs were in. Ortiz then popped out to shallow right. In turn, Katz doubled to right and Wharton was nicked to begin the bottom of the same inning. Olivares whiffed, but van Otterdijk’s double and Brown’s groundout each brought in a run to tie the game again.

The Coons needed more length from Rios, but after a snoozy fifth, the wheels fell off in the sixth inning. With two leadoff walks to Rodewald and McGrew he really prepared his own demise. Steve Preston doubled home a run, Harmsen got another RBI with a groundout, and after a K on Ortiz got Rios to two outs, Hernandez made consecutive errors at third base to wave in another run. Sullivan replaced Rios, balked in a run, and surrendered another on a double before finally getting out of the ******* inning. Down by five somewhat unearned runs, the Coons were done. Katz singled home a run in the bottom 7th, but between McMahan and Gutierrez the bullpen kept exploding in the eighth inning and the Aces scored another two runs against them, refusing to make outs. Hernandez hit a homer in the bottom 8th that wasn’t nearly making up for the damage he had caused with his glove up his furry tush earlier. Gutierrez gave up ANOTHER run in the ninth by walking the leadoff man McGrew, who stole second and then got around on productive outs, something the brown team was incapable of. 10-4 Aces. Wilson 2-5; Katzman 4-4, 2B, RBI; van Otterdijk 2-4, 2 2B, RBI;

Game 3
LVA: 2B J. Williams – 1B A. Jones – C Haynes – CF Phelps – SS Hatakeyama – 3B Rodewald – RF A. Rosado – LF McGrew – P Santamaria
POR: LF Humphries – 2B Yocum – SS Katzman – CF T. Wharton – 1B Olivares – RF van Otterdijk – C Rivas – 3B Luebbert – P Morales

The Coons had no hits the first time through, and Morales was just as useless as Rios for the second game in a row. After a quick first, Phelps and Hatakeyama hit leadoff singles in the second, but were somehow left stranded. No such luck in the third inning, in which the 2-3-4 batters for Vegas clipped straight 2-out singles to get a run across. The Aces kept crowding the bases and had Morales at 86 pitches with six hits and two walks allowed through five innings, while the Coons only got into the H column on van Otterdijk’s leadoff single in the bottom 5th. Rivas popped out in foul ground, caught by Haynes, but Santamaria lost Luebbert on balls. We then arrived at the point where baseball was cruel and made no sense – but it was cruel to the Aces so I didn’t give a ****: Santamaria had Morales at 0-2, then gave up a ball in the gap in right-center for a score-flipping 2-run double…! Humph then walked and Yocum socked another RBI double to right. Katz struck out, Wharton was walked intentionally despite batting a ******* .172, and that brought up Olivares with the plate loaded and no fork in sight. His groundout to short stranded all the runners in the 3-1 game.

Hatakeyama then immediately hit a single on the first pitch by Morales in the sixth, because OF COURSE he did. Morales walked Rodewald, and Hatakeyama took off to take third base, but was thrown out by Rivas. Rodewald went to second. A groundout and a K to McGrew ended the inning, but Morales was done after six innings of getting whacked around and putting everything with a pulse on base.

Rivas singled and Luebbert drew another walk off Santamaria, who was now on six free passes. Wilson pinch-hit in that bottom 6th, but popped out for the second out. Santamaria was kept on to face Humphries, but that was a bad mistake, and Humph raked a 3-run screamer over the wall in left to rush the score to 6-1!

Graham got three groundouts in the seventh to advance the line score before Holzmeister tried to soil the rug again and walked Haynes and Hatakeyama in the fifth inning. However, an eager K by Rodewald and a groundout by Alfredo Rosado put the runners away. Not as bad as Brad Failes, though: the reclamation project reclaimed the Aces back into the game with a McGrew single, a walk to Kazuhide Takeuchi, and a 3-piece served up to Jimmy Williams. Thing was, it didn’t get better with Valentin. Adam Jones’ pop was good for any out at all, but then he walked Haynes, gave up hits to Phelps and Hatakeyama, who drove in Haynes, and Rodewald’s groundout tied the game. No stuff, no list, nothing. 5-run lead blown to ******* hell. Rosado popped out, and here was another thing: Tyler Wharton had been removed from the game because they’re not gonna blow a 5-run lead, right? His spot was up third in the bottom 9th now. Woodley pinch-hit there for the designated blower Valentin and hit into a double play to end regulation and remove Katz from the bases.

Extras went to Todd Sullivan, but Jimmy Wharton was also sent to the pen. Sullivan gave up a 1-out single to Corpus in the #9 hole, who moved up on Williams’ grounder and went for home on Jones’ single to right. Jaden Wilson threw him out and kept the game tied. Rivas hit a single in the bottom 10th that got the team nowhere, and Wilson, batting ninth, drew a leadoff walk from Roberto Navarro in the bottom 11th. Chris Derrick, known jealously watch his bases so nobody stole them, replaced him… and did I mention that Humphries was also out of the game and Colter was batting at the top of the order, and was 0-for-all to begin the season? Yeah, but he singled *here* and sent “Winning Run” Wilson to third base with nobody out. Yocum and Katz were still there, maybe – no, because when Yocum grounded out miserably, they just put Katz on the open base, and the Coons had to send Sam ******* Brown to pinch-hit. Luckily for Brown, Derrick couldn’t find the zone any more than Brown could find a hit with a runner anywhere in sight, and the game ended on a full-count, walkoff walk. 7-6 Coons. Brown (PH) 0-0, BB, RBI; Rivas 2-5; Wilson (PH) 1-2, BB; Sullivan 2.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 2 K, W (1-0);

In other news

April 6 – CHA SP Edgar Mauricio (1-0, 0.00 ERA) and two relievers dominate the Bayhawks for a combined 1-hitter in a 4-0 win on Opening Day. Only OF Jake Ward (.333, 0 HR, 0 RBI) gets a single on the board for San Francisco.
April 6 – The Stars-Pacifics opener right away ends wickedly with a 4-3, 11th inning walkoff win for L.A. when LAP INF Ron Laux (0-for-0, 0 HR, 0 RBI) scores from third base on an bad pickoff attempt and throwing error by DAL C Steve Varner (.400, 0 HR, 0 RBI).
April 7 – A carried-over 21-game hitting streak by LVA OF Josh Phelps (.250, 0 HR, 0 RBI) is snapped by the Condors in a 3-1 Aces win in the second game of the season.
April 7 – SAL C Fernando Contreras (.455, 2 HR, 5 RBI) knocks out two homers, a double, a single, and drives in five runs against the Gold Sox, but the Wolves end up defeated, 8-7.
April 10 – 21-year-old IND OF/2B Walter Richmond (.467, 2 HR, 6 RBI) hits for the cycle in his fourth career game, collecting the four required hits in just four at-bats and driving in three runs … but the Indians lose to the Aces, 8-7.
April 12 – The Crusaders beat the Thunder, 2-1 in 13 innings, on a walkoff home run by C Matt Corbin (.667, 1 HR, 1 RBI), who is playing in only his second career game.
April 14 – ATL SP Justin Kent (1-0, 1.06 ERA) throws a 2-hit shutout against the Canadiens for a 3-0 win.
April 15 – The Capitals score five runs in the eighth inning to turn around an early 2-1 deficit, but the Stars prevail for a 7-6 win anyway with a 5-run ninth of their own.

Player of the Week (FL): DEN LF/RF/1B Miguel Sandoval (.500, 3 HR, 7 RBI)
Player of the Week (CL): SFB 2B/SS Ryan Bruce (.519, 2 HR, 8 RBI)

Complaints and stuff

There’s some mixed bags on the team. The pitching has been largely woeful, but the offense is in first place… on the strength of an 18-run outburst against the Aces, which has been known to happen from time to time to teams. The pen is all over the place, and the same for most of the starters, only Walla having been really solid so far.

For batters, Katz is raking like crazy, while Big Bucks Wharton is batting .200 and has none of the team’s 11 homers. Or an extra base hit.

Maybe some things will level out going forwards. Although Katz can continue to hit .414 for all I care.

Road trip coming up to Boston and Elk City, after which we’ll be back home to host the Condors and Thunder, and that will already be it for the month of April.

Fun Fact: Tyler Wharton is the worst position player on the team at -0.2 WAR.

Honeypaws, it’s early.

It’s early, right, Honeypaws?