2025 NFL Pick-the-Loser Pool

[Westheim]

I heard about tissue shortages in New York stores, and while the Yankees and Mets are a mess, nothing is more tragic than the Giants and the Jets, so that must mean that the NFL season is about to start up again.

In good, time-honored tradition we shall again make an effort to find the most unknowledgeable, unlucky, and clueless eggball enjoyer again with the 2025 edition of the NFL Pick-the-Loser Pool.

Come here and join in for the weekly fun of selecting a team that will post a marvelous L in their upcoming NFL game. No winners are allowed around these parts – only losers welcome!

This is all you got and want to do for the next three months (or three weeks, like last year, when the game deflated faster than a football ran through a buzzsaw) – forget watering your plants, picking your kids up from school, and cooking meals yourself. Get into those stat sheets and pick a loser!

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Section I - General Rules

1. Picks must be submitted by posting in this thread at least 30 minutes before the start of the respective game as given on the schedule posted in this thread. The reason for this is that start times in US sports as given by networks and homepages are notoriously not true and will include relentless time for pointless babble in the run-up to the main event, and I can never be bothered to find out when actual kickoff took place. If you miss the deadline for the Thursday game, however, you can still pick f.e. a team that plays on Sunday.

2. Submit your picks as early as you want, but if you change it for whatever reason, make a new post with the new pick since I might have drafted your pick into my Excel file already. Your most recent post in this thread will count.

3. The deadline for changing picks is 30 minutes from the start of the respective game as given on the schedule posted to this thread by your very understanding but ultimately can't-be-arsed host.

4. You must not pick a winning team with any pick. If you pick a team that wins its game, you are out. In the case of a tied game, postponement, and other acts of god, the disaster draft rules in Section IX shall be applied.

5. You must make a pick every week. If you miss to make a pick on any team, you are automatically out.

6. You must not pick the same team multiple times.

7. Please consider that your host's knowledge of football is limited to random trivia like the Heidi Game and he doesn't know that one team from that other team. Please state your picks clearly with either team name or team city, or both. No clever word plays, no pseudo nicknames, no fun slang. Your host does not know who the Crew, Blue, and Shoe are. If your most recent pick does not state a team city (or state where applicable) or name, and your host can't make sense of it, you are automatically out.

Section IX - Disaster Draft

8. In case of a tied game in which you made your pick, since tying is for losers, you shall advance to the next week.

8a. In case of nature, invasion by Canada, or other acts of god causing suspension or postponement of a game in which you made your pick *before* the announcement of the suspension or postponement, you shall advance to the next week. Your host *will* make an effort to investigate the time of postponement.

9. In the case that all players in any given round lose (all picked a winner), the game will continue with all players in the most recent round still eligible for the next round, except for those that made no valid pick at all.

Section XIV – Various Inconveniences

11. While your host will usually provide the next week’s slate of games in a post on Monday or Tuesday morning (depending on whether there were picks in the Monday night games) unless he's overslept, you obviously can post your picks for the following week early in case you’re going on vacation in central Montana or wherever else there is no Internet. Please state clearly though which week the pick will be for.

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I hope that no clarities whatsoever remain.

Appeals against these rules or any decisions by your host can only be directed at our legal consultants at Schwartz, Schwartz, Schwartz, Schwartz, and Canelloni-Schwartz.

Disclaimer: Stock photo contains third-rate starving actors. No actual lawyer is involved with the running of this pool. I don’t even have a lawyer, or legal insurance. Please don’t sue me. Love and peace for all. (makes a little heart with his paws)

And here a look at the previous winners:

2003: The Professor outlasted 37 others
2004: delgadodawg outlasted 68 others
2005: remangiii outlasted a record number of entrants while edging out hollis in week 16! Yes, Week 16!
2006: melo outlasted MorseMoose in week 16
[stains on trophy have rendered 2007-2014 illegible]
2015: psd edged Cobra in week 8
2016: Bluenoser beat MorseMoose in week 8
2017: Bobbuttons squeezed past pgjocki in week 14
2018: Cobra Mgr defeats Ragnar
2019: monkeyman576 out-losers rudel.dietrich
2020: Westheim stumbles to a stunning defeat of CONN CHRIS
2021: rudel.dietrich returns the favor by tanking below monkeyman576
2022: Amazin69 sucked his way past damiantheomen3
2023: pilight lost harder than David Watts and even beyond
2024: damiantheomen3 was the worst loser of all yet in the briefest pool in history

The fact that I was once carried out of this thread on a stretcher, victorious, should prove that next time it could be you to take the loser trophy to the head for a nice, thick concussion! We’re not taking no for an answer – join the other aspiring losers in the pool to-day!

I will ask forgiveness ahead of time, but the schedules I put up will regularly contain CEST (CET if we’re lucky) times, because every ******* browser these days thinks he’s smarter than me. For most of the time, you will be six (ET) to nine (PT) hours behind me.

[Westheim]

And here is the Week 1 Schedule!

I normally crop all the betting crap, but I wanted you to see those scrollbars.

The funny part is where the whole graphic fills barely half of my laptop screen. There's a whole football's width of space on either side.

Anyway. Stop wasting time, and make your picks. May the worst one lose!

[CONN CHRIS]

I love that crisp smell of losing in the fall air this time of year.

Titans to lose!

[Cobra Mgr]

So no one has been a 2 time champion..................

Time to make history.

I've got the Giants losing to the Commanders.

[monkeyman576]

No easy games this week.

I'll pick NY Giants losing.

[mytreds]

I’ll pick the Niners to lose.

[ezpkns34]

saints

[dsvitak]

Saints also to lose. I am TERRIBLE at this.

[monkeyman576]

Can i claim to be the biggest loser since I am one of only two people to win a final and lose a final.

[Westheim]

Originally Posted by monkeyman576

Can i claim to be the biggest loser since I am one of only two people to win a final and lose a final.

I count at least three and probably four (I think those Cobras are the same guy, but I just kept copying what was already there when I took over as host ...), so you're not so special, sunshine!

[Ragnar]

I already know who I'm choosing. I just want to wait a bit longer.

[Amazin69]

Technically, I too have both won and lost a final elimination, as I was part of the collective Week 2 flameout last season.

I've played this three times. I've lasted a total of six weeks. I don't know what this says.

Chargers, because Taylor Swift faking an "engagement" is embarrassing enough without Kelce face-planting in Week 1.

ETA: Oh, hell, change that. I don't care if I'm being suckered. After trading Micah Parsons right before the season, I have to pick against the Cowboys in Week 1.

[Ragnar]

Cowboys to lose.

[LD84]

Dallas

[pilight]

NY Giants

[DamPenguin]

Cowboys!!

[Hrycaj]

Giants to lose

[ry1220]

Titans

[Westheim]

I shall have the Cowboys to lose.

[TC Dale]

Cowboys to lose. (Flips coin...) Yeah going with that.